YO! Okay, here we have chapter four! Sorry it took so long, I really am a huge lazy ass, but at least it came out! Enjoy everyone!
Disclaimer: No. Just no. :(
Like most little girls, Sakura had wanted to be a princess when she was younger. The idea of floor length dresses that twirled with every movement, sparkling jewels, heeled shoes for dainty feet, nail polish of every color, and of course golden tiaras atop her head had enticed the young girl. Naruto and Sasuke had teased her mercilessly about it but nonetheless, she hadn't been able to hide the small girly side that was secretly apart of her. This had led to her best friends trying pick out what was deemed a 'cool princess' to be the pink haired girl's role model. After many observations of different princesses, to many dress up games to count, pulled hair, the destruction of their mother's make-up, and three screaming five year olds later; Ariel the mermaid princess had been chosen. Sakura was happy because the princess sported exotically colored hair like her, and the boys were happy because if the princess was a mermaid that meant she was swimming all the time. Which of course led to the inevitable conclusion that only a five year old could come up with: she was obviously athletic with all that swimming and therefore could play rough and tumble sports with the little tykes.
When the kids had reached middle school, Sakura was still clinging to her childish dream of becoming a mermaid princess. It had taken watching an extremely stupid stranger on some TV show nearly drown in the ocean by strapping their legs together and trying to demonstrate the physics behind a mermaids tail, that made her realize turning into a mermaid was impossible without proper genetic alterations and something not achievable in this time period. So Sakura had decided on the next best thing: becoming the best swimmer in the world. However, this was proved an impossible task for the young teen. She had started to drown after being deposited in the three feet area of the pool because her water wings had popped. After the humiliating event, Sakura abandoned her dream.
Five years later in her sophomore year, Sakura had an epiphany while lounging on a grassy hill with Naruto and Sasuke. Just because she hadn't been able to achieve her dream of being a swimmer, doesn't mean other kids couldn't. With this new philosophy in mind, Sakura became a swimming instructor after taking basic swimming lessons and classes on how to teach. Another five years later and the job remained as one of her many employments.
Sakura's new alarm clock blared obnoxiously as said girl groaned and rolled out from her plush bed on Tuesday morning. Stretching like a cat, the twenty year old nearly bashed her forehead against her headboard as she realized the clock read six-thirty. She forgot to reset the damn thing, which meant she was up three hours early.
Shit. Just thinking about those lost hours of sleep made her want to cry.
"SASUKE, NARUTO GET UP!" The scream echoed throughout the house. Her grin was positively razors as she heard loud thumps followed by a string of profanities that was impressive in its own right.
Well, she wasn't going to suffer alone.
Sakura thought it was a miracle that her door managed to survive the assault that occurred a moment later in the form of two sleep deprived teenage boys. Sasuke and Naruto burst through her door in their 'pj's'. Their eyes were half glazed from sleep and their hair was tousled so it stuck up in every direction. Naruto was clutching a stuffed frog in one hand, the color of the animal might have been green, and its head looked damn near close to falling off. Stuffing leaked from its neck in a rather disturbing fashion as Naruto reached up to rub his eye.
The flash that emitted from her camera blinded them momentarily.
Sakura twisted so she was half hanging off the bed upside down.
"Morning boys." she cooed. She looked at the camera and grinned manically.
"Oh! This one's a keeper!" They blinked dumbly.
"Wha?" Sakura snickered.
"Nice pink boxers you two. You're lucky that I'm the only one here, well me and my trusty camera at least." Both glanced down at their sad attempts at doing laundry. Naruto turned bright red while Sasuke grumbled and looked away.
"So mean Sakura-chaaaaaaannnnn!" Naruto whined.
"What the hell Sakura, it's six-thirty in the morning!" Sasuke snapped. Sasuke always had a blunt way of getting to the point.
"Yes it is Sasuke-chan, good observation. I knew there was a reason we kept you around!" Sakura had always prided herself on being a smart-ass.
"Sakura-channn, why are we awake? I'm so sleepy! And I was dreaming about ramen, mmmmmm... CAN WE HAVE SOME RAMEN FOR BREAKFAST?!" Naruto was always counted on to ask questions in an idiotic way.
Sighing, Sakura climbed from her bed and stretched. Her already too small and too tight tank-top rode up inch by tantalizing inch, exposing her flat toned stomach and flawless skin while her breasts threatened to spill out of their confinement. She moved towards the doorway, her small boy-shorts framing her round bottom and accenting her impossibly long legs as she practically skipped out to the kitchen. Naruto and Sasuke resembled a tomato and the blonde ramen lover reached up and rubbed the underside of his nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding. Of course neither minded the show (honestly they were nineteen year old boys) but they would rather digest acid and have Karin rape them than admit that. Because if they even thought something akin to Sakura and hardly any clothing, then Itachi would find out. Itachi always found out. They didn't know how he did it but he did. Sasuke said his brother had scary mental powers and after experiencing firsthand how scary the Uchiha heir could be, Naruto was on board with the scary powers idea. If the eldest Uchiha brother were to find out they had ogled his scantily clad girlfriend, he would use said mental powers to totally mind fuck their brains and kill them. And both boys enjoyed living thank you very much. So they exited the room with blushes that seemed permanently painted on their faces while they cursed Sakura's tendency to be a seductive bitch when she didn't get enough sleep and prayed that Itachi's mind powers didn't really exist.
In all it was just a normal morning in the Haruno household.
For the first time since Sasuke and Naruto had started staying over that week, breakfast was relatively uneventful. They had all enjoyed a breakfast buffet of sorts, exchanged rather crude jokes (but jokes nonetheless), and Sakura had been able to take a long relaxing shower before getting ready for work. After coming out of her room in a swimsuit and swim shorts, Sasuke and Naruto had wondered if they needed to buy a swimsuit on their way. Surprisingly running late, Sakura had rushed them out the door saying there was always extra swimsuits for employees laying around that they could use. Little did she know that this would be a big mistake.
Pulling into the parking lot for 'Swimmy's swimming school', Sakura herded Naruto and Sasuke out of the car and into the humid building. She sprinted past other employees, ran over an old janitor (Sakura had never liked the old woman anyways), and catapulted herself over to the wall, just in time to clock-in. Naruto and Sasuke applauded her for an impressive display of athletics. She bowed deeply and proceeded to drag her two friends towards the locker rooms. She presented them with a box full of various men's swimwear.
"Change, when you're done just call me and I'll come get you." she commanded. Naruto saluted.
"Roger that Sakura-chan!" Sasuke slapped him upside the head. Sakura thought about saying something but she just sighed and turned away, praying to Kami-sama that today she wouldn't be fired.
Silly Sakura, Kami only answers the good citizens prayers.
As Sakura trudged off, Naruto and Sasuke disappeared into the locker room. Once inside, they began to root through the box in search of swim wear. Naruto cried out triumphantly as he pulled out a pair of yellow trunks but his excitement quickly morphed into disappointment as he realized that the trunks were actually a towel. A towel that was yellow because of suspicious looking stains on it. He set it aside and continued his search. After five minutes, they had nearly emptied the box and neither had a swimsuit. Spotting a pair of trunks at the same time, both lunged for it. Naruto reached it first and knocked Sasuke away. He grinned victoriously and held his prize in the air.
"Naruto 1 Sasuke 0!" he chanted. Sasuke scowled and looked back in the box. The single remaining article of clothing left inside had him scrambling to get the trunks from Naruto, but the dobe had already put them on. He grit his teeth in frustration. Naruto walked over.
"No need to be a sore-loser Sasuke-teme just get another swimsuit..." the blonde trailed off as he peeked into the box.
"Don't. Say. A. Fucking. Word. Dobe." Naruto collapsed on the floor of the locker room and laughed. Sasuke glared at him but the silent threat was lost on the blonde. Naruto rolled around clutching his spleen and choked when Sasuke kicked him in the stomach.
"O-omigosh pft. Come on Sasuke-teme pfffttt, put it on!" He laughed even harder as Sasuke turned red. Either with rage or mortification Naruto would never know.
"Like hell I'll put this on!"
"You don't have a choice, Sakura-chan will drag you out of here with or without clothes on, heh heh heh, I'd get something to cover yourself up if I were you." Sasuke growled and lunged at his alleged 'best friend'. The two exchanged punches and kicks all the while screaming insults and profanities.
"Just put the damn thing on and stop being such a girl!"
"Why don't you put it on then?"
"I already have a swimsuit bastard!"
"Then trade with me dumbass!"
"Like hell I will!"
Both went silent when the locker room door nearly split open with a sickening bang.
"NARUTO SASUKE! You both better be in swimsuits by the time I count to three or so help me Kami I will cut your heads off!"
Naruto grinned evilly at Sasuke and tossed him the swimsuit. Sasuke grimaced as he looked at a very small and very green speed-o. He internally mourned the loss of his pride.
Two minutes later, both boys emerged and Sakura sighed in silent relief as she saw that neither had any black eyes or broken bones. Then she saw what Sasuke was wearing. Her face turned a bit red as she tried to hold her breath and not laugh.
"S-sasuke, what exactly are you wearing?"
"What the hell do you think Sakura?" he snapped. She blinked owlishly.
"Well, you might as well have signed your death warrant going around wearing that." Now it was Sasuke's turn to blink.
"Why's that?" he questioned. Sakura fidgeted nervously.
"..."
"What did you say?"
"I said, Karin's on lifeguard duty today." That sent Sasuke clawing at the locker room door and Naruto into another fit of laughter. Sakura wrapped her arms around Sasuke's waist and tried to pull him away from the door.
"GODDAMMIT SASUKE STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING HUSSY AND MAN UP ALREADY!"
With Naruto's help, the two managed to retrieve Sasuke from the door and drag him down to the pool area. Sakura probably should have felt some sort of sympathy for one of her best friends but in all honesty, after this week she would probably ignore the two for a month. No relatively sane person should have to deal with the hell themed nightmare she's going through. At the moment, Sasuke could be publicaly raped by her deranged cousin for all she cared. Sakura was just done.
She internally groaned at the fact that the week wasn't even half way through.
Just to spite Sasuke, Sakura kicked open the door to the pool and sung, "KARRRRIIIINNNNNN, GUESS WHAT YOUR FAVORITE COUSIN GOT YOU!"
Sasuke whimpered like a kicked puppy, actually more like a puppy that was beaten to half to death and then thrown into a habitat of much larger predators. Naruto whistled.
"Damn Sakura-chan thats just cold." She turned to him with a sickeningly sweet grin.
"Well there has to be some way to keep you two from getting me fired!" She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled.
"OI, SINGLE LADIES, THERES TWO ATTRACTIVE MALES IN HARDLY ANY CLOTHES RIGHT HERE! CONE AND GET EM!"
The fan girls came faster than lighting with Karin leading the pack. They were shredding and ripping at whatever they could touch. There were moans and screams as well as shrieks of triumph. Sakura smiled at her handywork an manuvered over to the shallow side of the pool to teach her class. Naruto and Sasuke's screams for mercy echoed around the pool area.
In higndsight, it probably was not a good idea to just throw Sasuke and Naruto to the dogs wearing swimsuits Sakura mused. In fact, what the hell had she been thinking? Of course something was just bound to happen, like the ripped swimsuits, Naruto and Sasuke being 'exposed', as well as Sasuke and Naruto actually getting raped this time. Then there was her traumatized class of five year old students to account for, and the property damages bill she had recieved for cracking the wooden door to the mens locker room. Add a traumatized Naruto and Sasuke to the mix, the bill she was bound to recieve for their therapy, not to mention a hospital bill becuase she had nailed Karin right in the face when she had raped Sasuke. Oh, lets not forget the dark-haired chick's hospital bill, Sakura broke her leg when the she-menace raped Naruto. Then there would be paperwork to fill out because yes, she had gotten fired again. (Really, if she hadn't been fired she would have just quit, because her manager would have had quite a few screws lose.)
However...
Out of all the mishaps and accidents she really should have accounted for, the one thing Sakura did not expect to happen, happened. She did not see it coming, nor did anyone for that matter, the idea itself seemed so illogical.
They burned down "Swimmy's Swimming School."
They fucking burned it to the ground. There was absolutely nothing left. At least Sakura's property damage bill got taken care of.
The one thing Sakura didn't understand though was: How in the HELL did they manage to burn down a building filled to the brim with WATER?! They fucking burned a building with at least four pools in it!
Sakura sighed, at this point she didn't even care. As soon as it had gotten messy, (like the building was on fucking fire and neither Naruto nor Sasuke had anything covering their *ahem* 'nether regions') Sakura had grabbed her friends, threw them in the car, and sped down the road to her apartment. No one knew her name, and Sasuke was on untouchable terms with the cops, so they were safe; for the time being. Now Salura sat staring at the wall blankly while Naruto and Sasuke slept off their traumatic events.
"Fuck, tomarrow is Wednesday." She groaned and covered her head wth her hands.
Wanting to be a princess is stupid, she realized. Wanting to take a job helping others learn how to swim is even stupider. Willingly calling over dozens of scantily clad fangirls so they could keep Naruto and Sasuke 'out of trouble' was proabably the stupidest thing Sakura had ever done in her entire life.
Oh how she dreaded the rest if the days to come.
Well, there we have it kiddies! Chapter four is DONE! Yayayayay! Okay so you all absolutley have to review this chapter in order to motivate me to write the next. Also when I actually finish this, I'll probably go in and edit the first few chapters or so to make it a bit better, so you all have that to look forward to. I hope I made you guys laugh really hard! Sorry if there's any grammer errors. If you're not satisifed you can just sue me by calling this toll-free number: 555-IDONT-GIVEAFUCK :P heh heh I can be bitchy yes? In all seriousness though, critisicm is accepted so don't be afraid to say something if you think there's something I should adress. Just don't go overboard kay? Well that's all I have to say, I look forward to your reviews! :)
