Author's Note: Okay, here's a little update for you. It's short, but it's something. And, it's a little bit of reconciliation. But only a little. I know some of you were upset about Dimitri's groin injury, and some of you thought it was stupid for Rose to go to the Belikova's if she didn't want to be found or was poor, but listen up, peeps, this is my story, and if you don't like, that's just too bad. Yes, going to Siberia to Dimitri's family is not the most rational or practical decision, but if you stop and think about the experiences Rose was having and her frame of mind, especially with fear about becoming a mother, Olena seemed like the most crucial option, all things considering the relationship with Rose's own mother and the friends from home. Fear as well as any other powerful emotion causes people to do things that we don't understand. And I don't believe in kicking guys in the groin except in extreme cases, either, but Dimitri deserved it. Having babies hurts, and being dropped or falling like that could rip stitches, and seriously injure someone who is still recovering from having a baby. And Dimitri was being an abominable dirtbag anyway. And questions for Yeva's behavior in this chapter, she's keeping her nose out of things so people learn to put their big-person panties on and work things out on their own. So there. Enjoy. I don't own Vampire Academy. On a lighter note, anyone who is interested in following me as a writer, I have a goal for a publish date on my debut novel. I'm shooting for December 15, so we'll see what happens.
After my little showdown with the father of my children, Dimitri finally went back to avoiding me. I was grateful for that, because I didn't want him anywhere near me. It was almost kind of funny the way his eyes would fill with a sort of terror every time he caught my eye. Asshat.. Now he understands how it feels. The weeks progressed, and I couldn't shake the sudden paranoia that had begun to plague me over the idea that Dimitri may have alerted the Queen and the rest of Court to my whereabouts, and that scared me. I didn't want to be found, for my children's sake. No Dhampir had ever conceived and bore children with another dhampir or human, and the last thing I wanted was for the Moroi to try and take my children and treat them like science experiments. I actually became increasingly jumpy as time passed, not liking the way Baia seemed so calm; too calm, like the calm before a storm. Maybe it was all in my head, but maybe I truly had a valid reason to be concerned. It was hard to tell. I was sitting living room of the tiny Belikova home, nursing my babies by the warmth of the fire. Yeva sat adjacent to the twins and I in her rocking chair, knitting furiously away at what looked like a baby sweater in soft, dark green fabric. It looked like it was intended for my little Nikolai who was still meek and frail. My son needed so much care and attention, but it was hard when Thalia had a very loud set of lungs and tended to be very fussy.
I hadn't slept very well the past several weeks, and my fear of being dragged back to Court, my violently conflicting feelings over Dimitri, and the fragile, weak health of Nikolai and followed by Thalia suddenly becoming colicky and crying what felt like every second of every moment, of every hour, of every day was finally too much. Yeva didn't seem to be in tune with my distress, and Olena and Dimitri's sisters were out either at work or out shopping. Thalia screamed at the top of her lungs and refused to be consoled, and her wailing was soon joined by Nikolai's frail cries. Finally, everything came to a head, and I snapped and started crying too. I didn't know what else to do to soothe my children, I didn't know what to do about the mess the rest of my life had become, Hell, I didn't know what I was doing at all. Yeva serenely ignored me, focusing solely on her knitting.
Dimitri, however, did not.
All I heard was a thundering of steps, and suddenly his face was three feet from mine, his face worried and concerned.
"Rose? What happened? What's wrong? What can I do?" he asked, but all I could do was shake my head as embarrassing sobs hiccuped from my mouth. Dimitri looked panicked, but he didn't hesitate at all when I handed him his screeching daughter with a wail of my own.
"Help! I-I can't! She won't stop crying and Nik-kolai won't eat, and, and I'm so tired!" I bawled. This was his fault. He knocked me up. I couldn't handle being a mother, and he'd knocked me the hell up with not one but two screaming gremlins. And now I was a screaming gremlin because I couldn't take it anymore. Well... Not screaming, exactly, but I felt like one of those stupid cartoons where rivers shoot out of their eyes like fire hydrants when the cry.
Dimitri looked a little alarmed by all of this, but he held our daughter securely in his arms, gently rocking and bouncing her, lightly patting her on the back after he'd thrown the burp blanket over his shoulder, humming softly. Thalia eventually calmed down, and Dimitri took that opportunity to sit right next to me, with Thalia starting to fall asleep with her tiny limbs starfished over his broad chest. Dimitri carefully reached around my shoulders to pull me against him so my head rested on his shoulder as I still clutched Nikolai to my chest. I sat there, topless with only my son and his blanket to cover me as my tears soaked the soft jersey knit of Dimitri's t-shirt.
Dimitri kept humming softly, as his hand began to lightly stroke over my skin, sending shivers down my spine. My uncontrollable sobbing gradually began to weaken and diminish into stupid sniffles and ragged gasps, until I could finally refocus on trying to get Nikolai to latch onto my breast and feed. It took a long time, but eventually my son succeeded. Thalia had already eaten and finally was sound asleep where she rested on Dimitri's chest, and as Nikolai suckled where he lay safe and secure between my body and the pillows supporting him, I felt my own eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. I felt Dimitri shift slightly only to feel his lips brush over my hair, and I sighed, feeling safe and warm and content. I barely noticed Yeva finally look up and give a smug smirk of satisfaction as she noticed us before going back to her work. Finally, I managed to close my eyes and get some rest, feeling pretty grateful Dimitri had come to my aid, even though I hadn't asked him too. I had to give him some credit, though, considering the twins were his children too. Unexpected miracles that neither one of us ever anticipated.
8888888
A little while later, I woke up and found myself laying on top of the couch... Well, that wasn't quite accurate. Dimitri was laying on the couch, and I was laying on top of him with my face smushed against his chest, and our two little miracles cradled protectively between us where they laid on Dimitri's chest and curled up close to mine. Dimitri snored softly, his breath gently stirring my hair. I looked up at him, and he'd found a pillow to support his neck, and I smiled, slightly amused at the sight of his legs hanging off the couch from his knees from how tall he was. He'd covered my torso with a blanket for modesty and warmth, and I appreciated that.
I listened to his heart beating steadily in his chest, as I kept my arms looped protectively around our babies. For the first time since the cabin, I felt whole. I wanted this moment between our little family to last forever, but I was too afraid to hope. To be honest, I was terrified that the minute Dimitri woke up, he would run away and tell me I meant nothing to him again. I didn't realize he stopped snoring until he tightened his arms around me. I looked up at him, startled, and saw that he was looking down at me with those soulful chocolate eyes, and very much wide awake.
"Am I dreaming?" he murmured, his voice thick and rough with sleep. Surprised, I looked at him with wide eyes, a little dumbfounded. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming... Please don't go away, Roza," he begged softly, his eyes frantic. My heart lurched painfully. Dimitri's fear looked like the fear of a child, small, vulnerable and lost, and he clung to me and our babies as if he was terrified that we would fade away if he let us go. My voice cracked slightly when I finally found the words to answer.
"You're not dreaming, Dimitri. We aren't going anywhere. Go back to sleep," I said softly, so we didn't wake the babies. I wasn't ready to relinquish my nap, to be perfectly honest. Dimitri calmed down somewhat at my words
"I'm sorry, Roza..." he whispered softly, before slowly nodding off to sleep again. Yeah, buddy. Back to sleep , because you're helping me with our two little bundles of joy from now on, and you're going to need all the rest you can get, Mr. Dad. I shook my head relaxed back on his chest, listening to his heart, and feeling the warmth of his body soak into my skin, falling back asleep, and praying for as much rest as I could get before Parenthood called again.
