Hey guys! Sorry its been a few days, but I told you I don't have internet every day! Your reviews have honestly made my life so much better, I love all the feedback! I love you guys! Oh I have a question, do you want me to do the traditional law and order scene change thing where it says like "apartment of sdfjsdf" or only when it pertains to the case? I'm going to try it out now as just the case.

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I slip on my point shoes and stand upright. I wear a black leotard and a black tutu. I look around to realize I am back in my old dance studio in Georgia.

I am in my favorite room. The walls are lined with mirrors on one side; a large black ballet bar runs along the opposite wall. The walls are all black. On one of the side walls a silver ballerina is drawn dancing with a partner in wisps. It is beautiful.

When I look forward to the mirrors I am shocked to see I am not 18, but my current age. My hair is pulled up in a traditional bun.

I walk to the ballet barre and gently rest my hand on it, like I was trained. My studio excels in Russian ballet and that is how I was taught.

I feel giddy as I rise on my toes and go over my box. I haven't been on pointe in years. It doesn't make sense how I got back to Georgia and into the studio but I don't care.

I continue to rise on my toes and then back down flat. Once my confidence increases I ditch the bare and go back to the middle of the room.

Familiar music plays over the sound system and I smile. This was the last song I ever danced to. The melody is beautifully sad, a tribute to my dance career.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My last recital with the company. The solo was choreographed beautifully. It was tricky yet understated, elegant yet in your face. My tutu was an elegant black and white, and huge.

I can still remember the younger girls watching from the wings, tears were in their eyes and in mine.

The music gets to a familiar place and I instinctively start to dance. Muscle memory takes over and I am lost in the music.

I go to leap and it stops. I hear a noise to my left and smile. Nick walks in from the door and kisses me on the cheek. "You look beautiful Amanda."

I smile and we are suddenly in the recital hall. I am wearing the black and white tutu. I am too shocked to do anything, but Nick isn't.

He takes my hand and spins me into him. He moves away and I rise onto my toes and tilt forward. This routine is new to me.

He spins me while I am on my toes and suddenly he has lifted me into the air. I giggle and he drops me down so we are face to face. He goes to kiss my lips but instead kisses my nose.

In a fast motion he spins me out and away from him. A typical tango move.

I feel his pull back and I spin back into his arms. I go to look into his eyes and I stifle a cry. It isn't nick.

Chief patton looks down a smiles at me. "Hello Amanda. How are you darlin?"

I got to scream but I am spun back out again. I am still on my toes as I try and claw out of his grip, but once again I am pulled back into him.

This time I look up and it is not Nick or Patton, but Patrick. "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda" his voice makes me want to die.

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"Amanda, Amanda, Amanda" I move from my chair across the room to the chair next to her bed. 5 minutes ago she had started to move in her sleep, now she is flailing and crying. The names "Patton" and "Patrick" leave her lips.

I say it again "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda" as I reach out and touch her hand. My hair gets in my face and I have to pull it back into a pony tail. I'm not used to it being so long again.

She doesn't feel my hand on hers so I move it to her shoulder and shake. This time she feels it and her eyes bolt open.

Instead of continuing to thrash like I figured she would, she calms and sets her hand over mine. I think she can sense I am a girl, so she feels safe.

"Gee I'm sorry Liv, I really didn't mean to scare you like that. I get nightmares sometimes" she rolls her eyes and shakes her head "nothing to worry about, they happen sometimes." I notice her slowly trying to shake off my hand and move toward the other side of the bed. Her accent has become stronger.

"You don't have to apologize Amanda" my voice is soft, the one I use with victims. I remove my hand and set them in my lap. "Would you like me to tell me about your dream?" I am heartbroken to see her like this. She looks so confused, scared. Of course she's putting on a strong face.

She is at the other side of the bed now. "Not really, Liv. It was stupid. I'm fine honey, really I promise I am." Once again the accent comes out thicker.

I want to bring it up but decide to leave it alone. "Well I have good news, the doctor said once you wake up you can be discharged. The stitches in the back of your head will dissolve in a few days, so you're all set. Your ribs will be sore though."

That brought out a genuine smile "good, I hate these damn hospitals." Amanda turns to her left and finally notices the amount of flowers and balloons. Her face twists and she looks back at the ceiling, blinking multiple times to hold back tears.

"Where is Nick?" She tries to ask nonchalantly because she does not know that we know. It is cute how hard she is trying to keep her voice indifferent.

"He stepped out to get you both a cup of coffee. You can leave when he gets back, I'm sure you want him to take you home."

Her head snaps to mine and tilts to the side. I nod and so does she, understanding that we know.

The door opens and Nick steps in. His eyes immediately go to Amanda and a smile graces his lips. "You're awake?" He stoops down next to her bed and hands her the coffee giving her a quick kiss on her forehead.

I cough and they both turn to me, oblivious to my presence before. Before they can say anything I stand to leave. "I'll see both of you in a few days, not before then okay? If either of you walk into the squad room before Monday you're fired. Now if you excuse me, I have some people to interrogate." My voice is tuff but I wink at them before I walk out. It is Wednesday.

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Once Liv leaves Nick and I break out into laughter. He slides into the bed next to me and I automatically scoot closer to him.

We are silent for a second, but then start laughing even harder than before. I can tell Nick is pleased that I am laughing. For a second I feel fine, great actually.

"It's like we just got caught by your mother." I say in between gasping for breath. Nick responds by laughing even harder, it was true. That's how it felt.

For a few minutes we just lay there. His hand plays with my hair. I almost fall asleep I am so relaxed. The door opens and the doctor presents me with discharge forms.

While I sign them he watches me, pity plays over his face. I try to hide the disgust as I give back the forms.

"Alright, let's get you home." Nick stands first and walks to the other side of my bed. He holds out his hand and I take it.

I stand on my feet for the first time in days and quickly my vision starts to go. I start to sway.

"Woah, Woah" Nick catches me underneath my arms and holds me close to him.

For a second I think I am going to fall. I should have known Nick would catch me.

"I'm sorry Nick" my voice comes out weak and pitiful. I start to cry, I am good for nothing. I try and turn away but he grabs onto my wrists and spins me back to him. Not in a forceful way, not enough to make me panic.

He cradles my face "Amanda, shhh it's okay. It's okay. It's okay." He wraps his arms around me and I burrow my face his chest. "It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."

I almost start to believe him.

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SVU precinct

Wednesday, June 10th

2:00 PM

I slam down victim pictures from the last 5 rapes. It stings when Amanda's picture makes the victim number jump to 6.

Max Johnson sits on the other side of the metal table with a smirk on his face. Finn is standing against the far wall holding the bar. Frustration graces his features.

"Regina York, Amelia Montgomery, Spencer James, Cassidy Sanchez, Kelli Hastings, and Amanda Rollins" I sit down and push them closer towards him so he has to look at them "you're going to sit here and tell me you don't recognize any of them?"

They are all carbon copies of each other. Each looks almost identical to the next, small details make them stand out from each other. Amanda stands out the most; I'm not sure if it's because I know her or if she actually looks slightly different.

He touches each one of the pictures and looks back at me. "I don't know what to tell you, I guess I might have seen all of them. I mean they all look the same." He picks out Amanda's picture "except for her. She's got something about her, a certain sparkle. I like her."

Finn bounces off the wall and kicks the extra chair next to Max. "We have video of you talking to each and everyone one of them. See here's what we're thinking, you're an accomplice. Maybe you and Patrick pick out your girls together and you're his cover."

Max smile falters slightly but he remains confident. "I talk to a lot of girls in one night. Some of them come on to me and we go home together, I don't make anyone do anything."

I think for a few seconds. "If you still aren't willing to cooperate I guess we'll just have to search your apartment, maybe your office? How about your bar? These girls don't do anything willingly, GHB is found in their systems. If we connect you to the drugs then you go down for the rapes."

That seems to shake him up a little bit but he still doesn't say anything. "Suit yourself."

Finn and I walk out and see Barba standing on the other side of the glass.

Barba shoots me a look and I throw up my hand before he speaks. "Can you get those warrants or not?"

He lets out a breath and rolls his eyes "I can get them but you're walking on thin ice, Olivia. You have to be extra careful with this case. If it looks like you're suddenly pushing too hard then people will question whether you want justice for everyone or just Rollins."

I start to protest but this time he stops me "I'm not saying you are but everyone is too close to this case. We need a conviction so tread lightly. Do everything by the book, be extra careful."

I roll my eyes and Finn crosses his arms.

"And get Amanda in here ASAP for her statement. The club is shut down but I have a feeling Patrick will strike up new hunting ground." Without another word he turns on his heels and leaves

I turn to Finn "As soon as those warrants come through check his office, apartment, and bar. Something in there has to lead us to Patrick. I have to go talk to Amanda."

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Apartment of Max Johnson

Wednesday, June 10th

3:30 PM

"Anything?" I shout at uniforms from across the apartment. We've been going through the place for hours.

The apartment was a good size and only a few blocks away from the club. I don't know how a night club manager can afford a place like this.

It had a modern feel- just like the office at the club. The same black and white design was present here as well.

"Detective, check this out" a fresh out of the academy cop approaches me. I distinctly remember his name being Rick Lopez. "I was checking out the book shelf because I thought something looked weird. A nightclub manager that enjoys reading encyclopedias? Nah. I was looking through this book and realized it's hollow."

He hands me the book and raises his eyebrows. I flip through the book with my gloved hands until I find the hole in the middle of the huge book.

Dozens of white capsules were in a small Ziploc bag. I can't help but smile as I pick up the plastic bag and look at the other officers.

"Let's collar the son of a bitch. Lopez good work, ride with me. Everyone else keep sweeping the apartment, when you're finished with the apartment double check it and then check the club. If you feel yourself getting tired run a few blocks or hit the crib, we can't miss anything."

I walk out of the apartment and hear Lopez follow me.

"Where are we going, sir?" He jogs to catch up with me, an eager puppy.

I laugh and go a little faster to see if he continues to try and keep up with me, he does. I slow down to give him some leeway. "First of all bro, don't call me sir. Call me Finn. Second, we're going to see Melinda Warner, when the test results come back we can arrest Max- if I don't kill him first."

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I help Amanda into her apartment and close the door behind us. She is still sore from the attack. The bruises are still as big and nasty as ever.

Frannie immediately rushes from the couch in the living room to Amanda's side. A smile appears on her face as she kneels to great her dog. "Hi baby, hey Frannie."

The dog lets out an excited whine and wiggles her tail faster.

Amanda looks up at me "did anyone take care of her while I was….." she doesn't finish the sentence. Pain washes over her face.

"I came over every day to feed and walk her, I hope you don't mind. Finn and Liv wanted to do it but I already had a spare key." I've had the key for a while now. I was thrilled when Amanda had given it to me. Since then I have wanted to tell her how I feel, but I stop short every time.

Amanda doesn't answer; she just looks up at me and smiles. She gives a quick nod and is back on her feet. "I'm going to go take a shower, help yourself to food in the fridge." Without another word she takes off.

It is sad, to see her like this. Distant, almost cold. I know the road to happiness won't be easy for her, but I plan to be here every step of the way.

I snap out of my thoughts and migrate towards the kitchen. It's been days since Amanda's eaten, not that she really has an appetite anymore.

I realize it's been a while since I have eaten as well.

I open the fridge and sigh, there's virtually nothing in here. Some peppers, Gatorade, and chicken. It's a miracle she's even alive.

I search the cabinets for anything else when I stumble upon rice. I smile and take the rice, chicken, and peppers.

After 45 minutes I've sautéed the chicken and peppers and put them over rice. I set the small table, and even light candles. The only thing missing is Amanda. I wait 15 more minutes before I start to worry.

The shower is still running, I can hear it occasionally squeak.

I walk to the bathroom door and knock. "Amanda are you alright?" When I get no answer dread starts to rise within me.

I slowly open the door as to not startle her. The small bathroom is filled with steam. Towels are thrown all over the bathroom floor.

The shower still runs and I can hear muffled crying. My heart breaks into a million pieces.

I pull back the shower curtain and see Amanda sitting in the bottom of the tub. She doesn't address me, but continues to stare at the bottom of the tub.

She is fully clothed, blue jeans turn black; the white shirt clings to her.

"Amanda" I try again softly but she still doesn't register my voice. She is drowning in pain while the rest of us are swimming.

I step into the tub in front of her and feel the spray of water now hitting my back. With the loss in heat she finally looks up at me.

"You've got to get out while you still can Nick, I'm a mess. A good for nothing mess." Tears fill her sky blue eyes.

I scoot her forward and slip behind her so that my back is against the tub and her head is in my chest. "Amanda I don't want to go anywhere, I am right where I want to be."

She cries and cries, and then suddenly she stops. She starts to claw at her skin.

"I can feel him on me, I can feel him on me" she madly scratches any surface without clothing "help me clean him off of me HELP ME." Her eyes are wide as she continues to try and clean away his touch.

Her eyes dart back and forth and she scoots into the corner of the tub. I suddenly notice how hot the water actually is.

"HELP ME GET HIM OFF OF ME." She screeches in an animalistic voice. She is scratching at her face now, her arms, her feet, anywhere.

I jump up and drag her with me. I slowly start to peel off her clothing and search for any resistance. But she is off again somewhere else, a dreamy look on her face.

I leave her bra and underwear on; I don't want her to get flashbacks at my account. Water drips down her face as she stares at me, trembling. In a weird way I don't think she has ever looked more beautiful.

The scratching begins again and I hand her the soap and a wash cloth. She washes and washes and washes her skin and I help her, anything to make her feel better.

The soap circles the drain and goes down, along with her tears.

After the fourth time she is content.

We assume our position and lay back down in the tub. I stroke her hair and kiss her head.

"I'm sorry Nick" I can hear guilt laced in her words. It makes me sick, not are her but at the situation. She shouldn't have to feel guilty. She begins to cry again.

"It's okay Amanda shhh it's okay. I love you Amanda, I love you." I wait for a response but I don't get one, her breathing levels and I realize she is asleep.

I wait for a few minutes and then I lift her out of the shower and take her to her room. Slowly I take off her wet clothes and put her in one of my big t-shirts that she always sleeps in.

I take one for myself and crawl into bed next to her. I hold her close to me and drift off, food forgotten.

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THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING! Sorry the update took me so long, review if you want, love you guys! Oh and we'll see it from Patricks point of view again next chapter!