Lovino joined Antonio and Roma for breakfast that morning, yet he couldn't bring himself to say a word, feeling humiliated after running into Antonio while wrapped in his blanket. It was mortifying for him to even think about, let alone acknowledge that it had even happened! He hadn't woken up like that in so long, but now he was all messed up ever since that damn Spanish bastard had shown up. Lovino cursed Antonio inside of his head, yet at the same time prayed a silent prayer to counter each curse.
Antonio chatted it up with Roma as they all ate together, occasionally stealing glances to Lovino, who would flare up with a blush every time. But Antonio, oblivious as ever to what had happened that morning, paid Lovino's true reason for blushing no mind and just considered it the crush part of all of it, so he made sure to smile kindly to him every time their eyes met, causing Lovino to turn even more red than normal. He would smile each time that would happen, happy to make someone blush, even it it was a brat like Lovino.
Roma noticed that Lovino was acting oddly, but decided not to draw attention to it. He was already swamped enough inside of his head with the storekeeping and the plans for staking out the places where the artwork would be saved. He didn't exactly have the time or energy to be wondering why Lovino would be turning all sorts of shades of red that morning.
Lovino was the first to rise from the table, having eaten quickly so he wouldn't have to be around Antonio for too long. After all, that Spaniard seemed to know what he was doing every time he would smile that handsome, perfect smile at Lovino. It was aggravating! He almost wanted to punch him, but he worried that Antonio would never smile at him again if he were to do that.
"You ate pretty fast, Lovi," Roma observed. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Just fine," Lovino quickly said, rinsing off his plate in the sink. He then hurried up the stairs to get dressed. After all, he had been the only one still in his pajamas, and that alone was embarrassing enough to be an excuse for him to have been blushing all throughout breakfast if his grandfather were to ask him.
Antonio turned to Roma. "He seems slightly friendlier," he told him.
"Oh really?" Roma asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise. "That's interesting to hear." He took his last bite of toast and swallowed before looking at Antonio. "What makes you think he's seeming friendlier?"
"I was figuring that it was because he took time out of his day to insult me," Antonio told Roma. "He actually took the time out of his day yesterday to make fun of me."
Roma grinned. "Sounds like my Lovi having a good day. That's a very rare thing, mind you."
"I can only assume that," Antonio said with a nod. "It's only happened once." He got up and rinsed off his plate. "Roma, do you need any help in the shop at all?"
"Not at all," Roma insisted, shaking his head. "I want you to get to know Lovino better. I know he's a very difficult person, but I need you two to be able to cooperate if you want to make sure the operation will run smoothly."
Antonio sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that. He's so hard to get along with, Roma."
"Try a new approach," Roma suggested. "Use music or something like that. Play that song you learned so you could teach it to him. That could work."
"I guess I could do that," Antonio thought aloud. "Yeah, I'll try that. Thanks, Roma."
"No problem," Roma said. He then paused. "And Antonio, you say you've never been in love before, correct?"
Antonio gulped. "That is correct, Roma."
"Then you had better make sure the first person you fall in love with is not Lovino," Roma said. "I would not be able to accept that. My grandson is fragile and has had his fair share of heartache. I can't have you two falling in love and you leaving him behind."
Antonio nodded. "I understand, Roma. I will not fall in love with him."
"Then we are understood," the older man said with a nod. "Carry on with your day." Roma gave him a cheerful smile and a wave. "See you around, Antonio."
.
Antonio found Lovino reading up in the living room later that morning. He took a deep breath and entered the room, hoping that Lovino would be in a good mood. His footsteps caused Lovino to look up from his book, making Antonio stop in his tracks for a reason he couldn't explain.
"What?" Lovino asked him. He raised an eyebrow to the Spaniard, who was awkwardly standing in the doorway. "Can I help you, bastardo?" Internally, he cursed himself for calling Antonio that. He didn't understand why he couldn't even be nice to Antonio.
"I was just coming to spend time with you," Antonio said. "Your grandfather requested it."
"Of course he did," Lovino sighed, closing his book. "And you're going to follow his request, aren't you, Antonio?"
The Spaniard blushed. "Well, of course. I kind of have to."
"That's where you're wrong," Lovino said. "You don't have to do anything."
"Then I'll say that I want to."
Lovino felt his heart skip a beat in his chest before leaping up into his throat. "You want to?" he asked. "I don't understand. I thought I was a difficult person to deal with. Don't think I don't hear what you and Grandpa say about me."
Antonio frowned. "You're difficult, yes, but I've always been up for a challenge."
The young Italian pressed himself against the back of the couch as he watched Antonio come closer. "No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm difficult. I want to stay difficult. I don't want to be friends with you, bastardo."
"What's so bad about being friends with me, Lovino?" Antonio asked.
What if something were to ever happen to you? You're just going to leave me anyway. Lovino couldn't say that out loud, so instead he just shook his head more vigorously. "I just don't want to be your friend. You are a bastard, and you're only here for a short while. Why befriend someone who is only in your life for a limited amount of time? It's completely pointless. It won't matter."
"Okay, I can see your point, Lovino," Antonio simply said. "But if we are friends, we can work together better."
"I don't need you," Lovino snarled at him. He wanted to stop being so hateful to Antonio, but he just couldn't stop himself. His life motto was always, Hurt them before they can hurt you. But why did it hurt him so badly to hurt Antonio? "Grandpa just wanted someone to accompany me."
"I can understand that," Antonio said, nodding. "Maybe it's just that I want us to be friends, Lovino."
"Why would you want to be friends with someone like me?" Lovino demanded. He tried to keep himself from getting emotional, but he couldn't help himself as he felt his tears coming to his eyes. Damn his stupid emotions! He wished he could just stop feeling everything!
"Because I know that you feel everything, even if you pretend not to," Antonio softly said.
"Bastardo!" Lovino shouted at him. "What the fuck would you know?!" That was when the tears blurred his vision. "You don't know a damn thing about me!"
"That may be true, but I am also very observant, Lovino," Antonio told him. "I know more things than people think. You hurt deeply because you feel betrayed by your brother. You feel like you need to be more responsible to prove yourself to your grandfather, but that also feels like too much pressure on you."
Lovino shook his head, covering his ears. "Shut up!"
"And you're afraid to be friends with me," Antonio told him. "You're afraid because you think I'll leave like your brother. You think everyone is just going to leave you one day."
"I said shut up!" Lovino barked at him, tears of anger nearly brimming over. "You don't know a fucking thing about me! I don't want to be friends with you because you are a fucking Spanish bastard!"
"But what makes me such a bastard to you?" Antonio asked him. "I don't recall ever doing a single thing to you."
Lovino pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them before Antonio could see the tears of frustration and hurt spill over. How did Antonio know him so well? How did he figure him out so easily? "Just go away," he pleaded. "I'll talk to you later. Just please go away."
Antonio turned around. "I'll be in my room," he simply said.
"It's my brother's room," Lovino corrected without looking up. "It was never just yours."
Antonio made sure to make a note of that response from Lovino before heading to the room he was staying in to wait for Lovino to calm down enough to talk.
.
Lovino wandered to his room once he was sure that Antonio was in Feliciano's room. He didn't want Antonio to see him with puffy eyes or a red face at all. He knew that Antonio knew that he had been crying, but he didn't want Antonio to see the after effects. That would just be too much for him.
"Stupid bastard," he muttered to himself once he was safely in his room with the door closed. He leaned against the door and breathed a deep sigh. This was the worst he had felt in a long time, ever since Feliciano had left. How had he been able to suppress everything up until now? It was terrible?
His tears began to flow once more as he muttered, "I hate you," to himself. Though what he was wondering was whether he meant that for Antonio or himself. He kept repeating it over and over, no longer caring who it was for. He just wanted his heart to stop aching, but he had no idea how to make it stop. It was all he could do to keep from screaming.
As the tears streamed down, he began to feel more and more calm, like maybe the more he cried, the better he would feel. He could try crying until all of his bad feelings were gone, but then again, what exactly would that get him other than a wasted afternoon according to Roma. He knew he had to talk to Antonio, but he was too scared to, knowing that he had made an ass of himself just before.
Would Antonio forgive him for the things that he had said? Was Antonio kind enough to forgive things like that? Lovino didn't know those answers, and the only way to find them out was to go to Antonio.
His heart raced as he stood up and walked across the hall. He reached out and knocked on the door, wanting to run back to his room and slam the door. He was humiliated once more when he realized that he definitely looked like he had been crying.
Antonio answered the door, a look of sympathy immediately crossing his face. Without a word, he pulled Lovino into an unexpected hug and muttered things that sounded kind, but Lovino would never know since they were in Spanish. The only thing he could truly make out was, "Lo siento."
Though Lovino was never keen on hugs, he still found himself hugging Antonio back as a few more tears trickled down his cheeks. He couldn't understand why he was still crying. What was going on? Why was Lovino so emotional today?
Antonio pulled away. "Oh, Lovino," he sighed. "Perhaps a song may cheer you up, yes?" He smiled as Lovino nodded. "May I use your guitar?"
Lovino went into his room and got it, bringing it out to the living room for Antonio's use. "What are you going to play?"
"I figured I would re-teach you 'I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire'," Antonio told him. "If you would like that."
The Italian simply nodded and curled up against the back of the couch, facing Antonio as he played and sang.
Lovino found himself smile slightly at the song. He wanted to listen to Antonio sing it over and over as his eyes drifted shut. He couldn't seem to keep them open for the life of him. Did crying really exhaust him that much?
Antonio took the time while Lovino's eyes were closed to really admire him. He had a firm jaw line and his hair seemed to fall into place perfectly except for one curl that just stuck out from the middle and curled off to the right. His skin was so pale, but so beautiful to Antonio, who had only been around people with tanned skin all his life. He had never really been able to admire someone like Lovino before.
Lovino's eyes flicked open as he saw the look in Antonio's green eyes. "Why are you looking at him like that?" he asked, dazed. Was he dreaming, or was Antonio really looking at him in an admiring way?
"Like what?" Antonio asked, trying to get his gaze to return to normal, but now those nearly bronze-colored eyes were open. He couldn't seem to look away. Were Lovino's eyes always that beautiful? Maybe they were so beautiful because this time they weren't set into a hard glare.
"Nothing," Lovino finally said. He blinked a few times. It was real. Antonio really was admiring him. Did he even realize that he was doing that? Lovino decided not to point it out and instead focused on keeping from blushing. If he blushed, then Antonio would know that something was up, and maybe he would stop looking at him.
"If you say so," Antonio said, absently playing the chords to the song. "Are you sure you don't sing, Lovino?"
"I am quite sure," Lovino answered. He smirked. "Why do you ask, Antonio?"
"I would just love to hear you sing this song," Antonio said. "You've heard me sing it, and I've heard your grandfather sing it. I guess i just wanted to hear you sing it is all."
"Oh," Lovino said. It wasn't a bitter or sarcastic sound like usual. This time, it was full of genuine surprise. "You really want to hear me sing?"
"Of course I do, Lovino," Antonio said. "Singing is a way of expressing yourself when you have nothing else left."
"I didn't know that," Lovino said, contemplating it. He thought for a moment. "I mean, I guess I could sing…"
"Only if you want to," Antonio said, grinning. He was excited to hear Lovino sing, though he wasn't going to press too much harder and scare Lovino away. After all, he thought of Lovino like a turtle coming out of his shell. If the turtle was spooked, it would just go back in, and Antonio didn't want that, not when he had made it this far.
Lovino managed a half-smile. "I'll do it," he decided after another moment of thought. "If you would play the first few measures of the song again, Antonio."
Antonio did as told, anticipating Lovino's singing.
As Antonio listened to Lovino sing, he closed his eyes to make the Italian more comfortable. When he was younger, he always like it better when the people around him closed their eyes when he sang, so he didn't feel so many eyes on him. If they didn't close their eyes, he would just close his, so he wouldn't have to see them, but his aunt would get upset because she couldn't see his beautiful green eyes. But as he listened, he didn't realize that he was leaning more toward Lovino, only that Lovino's voice was slowly becoming slightly louder.
When Lovino was finished singing, Antonio opened his eyes and realized that he was face to face with Lovino, close enough that if he puckered his lips, he would kiss him. His heart began to race as he looked into those bronze eyes of Lovino's. What was going on? Why was he feeling that?
Roma's footsteps were suddenly heavy on the stairs, and both men looked away from each other, faces bright red. "Lovino, Antonio, are you two up here singing without me?" he asked.
"Sorry about that," Antonio said, addressing it to Roma, but meaning it more to Lovino. He saw Lovino nod to show he had understood, or at least he hoped that was what it meant. "We were just bonding over music is all."
Roma grinned. "That tune is one of my favorites, you know," he said. "Anyway, I was coming up to tell you that lunch will be ready in five minutes."
"Oh," Antonio said. "Grazie!"
That made Roma smile wider. "You're welcome, Antonio." He looked to his grandson on the couch. "Is everything okay, Lovino?"
"Everything is fine," Lovino stubbornly muttered at him. Though his brow was furrowed angrily. Antonio couldn't help but wonder if Lovino was mad at him or not.
"Okay, I'll be going back downstairs to finish lunch then," Roma said. "See you both in five minutes." He then went back down the stairs.
Antonio turned around to look at Lovino. "Hey, are you-"
"What was that?" Lovino asked, looking up at him. "Why were you so close to me like that? What were you thinking, doing that to me? I can't get my heart to stop racing now…."
"Your heart?" Antonio asked.
Lovino rose to his feet. "Forget it," he said. He walked over to Antonio and took the guitar from him. "Tell Grandpa I'll be down in a few minutes." With that, he went to his room and slammed the door after himself.
