If I owned Death Note, L, Matt, and Mello would still be alive. Are they? I didn't think so, therefore Death Note is not mine.

This chapter is more Mellocentric then Mattcentric, but only slightly.

Much thanks and love to my beta reader Forgotten.Thirteen aka Rasko! :D


"What the fuck are you doing, Matt?"

He heard the voice and wanted to reply, but he could only grin like an idiot as his knees and chest were turning purple. The mix of being disturbed and being confused that appeared on the blonde's face almost made the other want to burst out in amusement. Several long moments passed that consisted only of the odd stares from Mello and the thumping around on the floor from Matt.

"It's called the worm, Mells," Matt responded as soon as he stood up from the hardwood floor. True, he hadn't exactly mastered the dance move, but practice made perfect.

"Why the fuck do you want to be a worm?" Mello's voice was slightly distorted due to his biting and chewing of his half gone chocolate bar.

The redhead flashed another goofy grin towards his best friend and sat down next to him on the couch, enjoying this moment.

"Because we need to go clubbing sometime soon, and think of the money we'd make if we became street performers!" the gamer's voice indicated actual excitement, much to the blonde's dismay. Within moments of realizing just how serious the statement was, Mello's eyes narrowed as he swallowed the chocolate in his mouth.

"Matt, what the fuck are you thinking? I was in the Mafia in America. I blew up a Mafia base in America. If anybody finds out who I am because I start street performing that'd be even more embarrassing then losing a game show to Near because I got a question about leather wrong."

"That reminds me."

Mello blinked in confusion at his best friend next to him, any previous irritation suddenly gone now that he had this new headache. He didn't have to speak or grunt a noise to force him to clarify.

"I read a few things online – don't hit me, Mello... put the gun down – about you and Near going head to head and the final question, which would be a tie breaker, would be about leather."

"And did I win?"

Matt ignored him.

"Then there was one where L and that unknown kid Light Yagami were on the American show, 'Cash Cab', which I watched yesterday by the way, and we had to help answer questions and... and... and... it's entertaining."

Matt blinked when he was explaining the awesomeness that was such.

"...what the fucking hell, Matt." Mello snapped in sync with biting into his chocolate bar.

A pout appeared on the redhead's lips. "Just read it, Mells. You might not like it, but at least do something for me. I feel like a slave bitch because I constantly kiss your ass and work for you."

The older, blond haired roommate growled something that was rather impossible to make out and narrowed his eyes as the younger boy opened up the Internet, clicking on the bookmark that opened the desired webpage.

As Mello's eyes scanned the fanfiction, Matt just sat there staring at him and grinning foolishly once more. Something had happened to that boy, and it wasn't anything good.

"...WHO THE FUCK IS LIGHT YAGAMI?!" Mello's shrieking, high octave scream almost caused Matt to fall backwards and knock the lamp off of the coffee table.

"I... dun...no..." the redhead panted, rubbing his ears. It was amazing that they didn't start to bleed.

"WHY DID HE MAKE OUT WITH L AND… AND… AND… WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYONE MISTAKE ME FOR A GIRL?!" The gamer almost wanted to snatch his laptop from in front of his friend out of fear that it was going to get crushed by the angry blond.

"AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW THE HELL DID PEOPLE KNOW THIS HAPPENED JUST A WEEK OR SO AGO?!"

That one made Matt look up. "What're you talking about, Mells?"

Mello was breathing heavily, his once red face now returning to it's normal pale pallor. "I mean that when I told you about those people calling me a cosplayer, y'know that day... I saw L and that Yagami kid and the Yagami kid was screaming at me and calling me a girl and I told L he answer was Corinthian leather." The statement was closed by the sound of chocolate snapping vigorously.

"...why the fuck didn't you tell me, Mello?"

"You never told me about this fanfiction shit until a couple of days ago, Matt."

"But was it not important enough?!"

"Uh-uh."

Matt seriously felt like bruising his roommate's ribcage again, but all he did was flex his hands so they changed from fists to open palms multiple times. After a couple of minutes of a narrow eyed staring contest between the two boys, the blond stood up and began to head for the door, picking up multiple chocolate bars along the way.

Matt heard the jingle of the doorknob as Mello's hand turned it, and he was still seething enough not to really care whether he said that Mello hated him or asked if he wanted to fuck. Therefore, it took another minute for the words to hit his eardrums.

"Why have you been so paranoid and foolish lately, Matt?"

"Videogame withdrawal," was slurred slightly when he placed a lit cigarette between his lips.

"Your DS is charged and is sitting in the bedroom, you moron."

The redhead grinned sheepishly. "Too lazy to go get it. Plus, the Mello Sim keeps fucking with the Amane Sim, and it's getting on my nerves that they both drown in the pool with a ladder there."

Mello rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded like "Why do I even fucking bother" and it took Matt longer than it should have to respond to the hushed words.

"Smooches."

He could've sworn he heard some chuckling a split second before the door slammed shut, engulfing him in silence and loneliness.


I HAVE A REQUEST FOR YOU ALL.

GO TO YOUTUBE AND SEARCH FOR JUMP BY MADONNA OFFICIAL VIDEO AND TELL ME IF YOU TIHNK SHE'S COSPLAYING MELLO OR NOT. D:

Depending on whether or not I make yearbook staff at my school, this story will be updated on the weekends. With yearbook we need to take pictures of the games and stuff and I'm not fully aware of whether or not some of those are on the weekends. Anywaaayyy.

Review and such. They make me happy. Sorry this was so short, by the way, but I haven't been in the mood for writing anything humorous lately and have been thinking of only angst so.. yeah. xD

Same requesting deals are allowed and now I'm taking requests for fanfiction, cosplayers, and fanart peoples! :D

Fanfiction: Cash Cab Insanity by Hari-Aisu.