A/N: you know, you don't have to read this, cause I have nothing to say this time, really

Disclaimer: I own nothing, Blah blah blah

Chapter Four, Mysteries and Madness

Walking on the grey carpet inside the Sydney Military Base, Professor Haymen was ready to present his findings to General Adderbull in private. He stopped next to a pair of glass doors, and sat on the uncomfortable chair outside, waiting. The secretary opposite him was old, and had bleach blonde hair, and she seemed to have a constant sneer on her face. Haymen gave an acknowledging nod before picking up a magazine.

He sat there for five long minutes before Mrs Secretary muttered "You can go in now" Haymen was pretty sure she muttered something else, but ignored her.

"Ah, Bert, my dear friend, how are you?" Adderbull stood up from behind his desk, and leant over to shake Haymen's hand. Adderbull was in his casual uniform, a muddy green shirt and cameo long pants, and heavy leather shoes. He must've been over a hundred years old by now, the way his face was heavily lined with wrinkles, but his real age remained a secret. His and Haymen's friendship was made after the professor's funding had begun, and all friendships based on money were shaky. If Adderbull was being both polite and friendly, he must want something very badly.

"Not too bad, Craig, not too bad. Yourself?" Haymen replied, returning the handshake.

"Awfully busy, I haven't had much time off with my family lately, it's quite sad." Yep. If he was playing the pity game, he definitely wanted something.

"Now, should I report immediately? Or, do you want to continue discussing crap?" Haymen didn't care for politics, or wastefulness. There was so much to tell him in such a short amount of time. Adderbull frowned slightly.

"Go on then, report" he sat back down, leaning backwards in his chair. Haymen pulled out a clipboard from the shoulder bag he'd been carrying.

"First off, six days ago, three confirmed individuals came through Beast; one female and two male. Here," he handed three sheets with large faces on them, "are photos of what they look like." Sasuke's and Sakura's photos were of them asleep on their hospital beds, and Naruto's had him smiling and waving with a beige background. "The blonde claims his name is Naruto, the other two are yet to wake."

"Why are they incapacitated?"

"Here is my hypothesis to why that is." Haymen handed him another sheet. "Anyway, the other two should wake up any day now, their wounds have fully recovered. By the way," he looked at the photo of Naruto, "I am personally curious as to why he," he pointed to Naruto "woke up three days ago. It was one of the fasted recoveries I have ever seen." He looked thoughtful.

Adderbull muttered "Continue."

"Right. Anyway, when Naruto woke up, he communicated with us, and I can confirm he can speak our language. He also has human needs, such as food, water, the toilet and such, but he was able to break through the binds easily. The doctors are astonished by how fit they are. He has made no move of escaping, and the IQ test I provided show that he isn't very bright.

"I should also mention their possessions. No. 1 and Naruto had pouched filled with small knives and other weapons. No. 3 actually had a large sword." He gave him more photos. "The scars all over their bodies also indicate that they have been in fights with these weapons. I enquired Naruto to whether he was really friends with these people, and not enemies, and he replied 'I shall protect, and trust them, with my life.'" He took a deep breath.

"I have had Naruto run through several examinations and tests, and here are the results." Another sheet was handed over. "I have also implanted tracking devices in all of their arms. Is there anything else you wish to know?"

"Yes, how has Naruto interacted with you since he woke up, what has he done?" Adderbull asked.

"At the start, he was confined to his bedroom, but after some … persuasion, he convinced me to let him out of his room, and to wander the Laboratory, supervised of course. His favoured things to do at the moment are to hang out at the cafeteria and interacting with the other scientists, and to visit No. 1 and No. 3. He alternates between them as they are in separate rooms. He refused to do the IQ test, his excuse being that he got headaches from it and that he was 'too stupid'. I really cannot say how high his intelligence is, but if it is low, like I assume, then I will run the IQ tests with the other new arrivals." Haymen took a deeper breath.

"Can you tell me your personal thoughts?" Adderbull knew what type of man Haymen was, and if this Naruto character was something special, Haymen would boast to no end.

"Absolutely! He has super strength!" he began flexing his own muscles, and brimming with energy "He broke leather straps without even thinking! He refused to do any other physical examination to test his strength, speed, stamina, stuff like that! And he is so annoying! The only time I can find him serious or sad is when he is visiting his friends, and even then he is annoying. The others say that he isn't annoying, but sunny and happy and friendly, and easy to make friends with. I just don't see it. He also talks to his friends when he is visiting them, even though they are in a comatose. He is clearly devoted.

"And, he has severe nightmares. Doctor Pickle, my psychiatrist, believes him to have undergone severe trauma. But, I find that irrelevant." He put away his clipboard. "That is my full report, sir!" he saluted, "What are my orders, sir?"

Adderbull mind was wheeling very fast. He stood up 'Incredibly fit? Super strength? The ability to use weapons? Loyalty, and able to withstand trauma? Is he, and his friends … the perfect soldiers? For now, I should just let him play with his toys' " Haymen, you are to wait until No. 1 and No. 3 wake form their sleep, and you are to give me a full report on them as well a week from when they wake. You are to treat them nicely, and to grant any of their wishes if they do not endanger your people. Dismissed." Adderbull sat back down, ready for a nice nap.

Haymen bowed a little as he left, a fixed smile on his face. When he knew that no one could see him, he put on a serious face and began thinking. 'Craig, what are you thinking?'

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Darkness. He was floating in a void of never ending darkness. Flashes of his life floated around him, muttering into his ear. It went on for what felt like an eternity.

"Forgive me, maybe next time."

"Foolish little brother, your hatred isn't strong enough."

"… and someday, I'm going to become Hokage!"

"Sasuke, maybe you should tell someone."

"It's none of your concern."

"Ku ku ku …"

"See, I told you I could become Hokage! And, you're going to help me rebuild the village to its greatest! Look, I even made plans for five Ichiraku's Ramen stands…"

"You'll never understand!" 'Oh no, not this memory…"

"Don't I? You can't even begin to-" He hated this memory. He wanted it to stop. It was so shameful; the day Naruto literally knocked some sense into him. He struggled, flailing wildly, pleading with the darkness to set him free. He screamed-

And sat up jerkily, his tubes getting tangled, restraints snapped, and oxygen mask torn off. There were many bright lights and they blinded him momentarily. He couldn't think, the painkillers still coursing through his veins, but there was one voice that cleared his mind completely.

"Sasuke! Sasuke, calm down! Sasuke!" Sasuke opened his black eyes, his now clear mind observing his surroundings. He was in a white room, and machines were surrounding him, the heart rate monitor calming down.

And amidst the white lab coat wearing scientists, there was one face he was actually relieved to see. Naruto was sitting next to his bed, clutching the handles, and yelling at him to calm down. The yelling actually gave him a headache.

"Shut up, you retard!"

The scientists and doctors alike were revolted. They glanced at each other, wondering the same thing. They had all heard some form of story about him from Naruto about them being best friends, but to speak in that manner towards your best friend … it was atrocious.

Naruto just grinned widely, sighing in relief. "Good to have you back, bastard."

Huh. So they did speak to each other like that.

After everyone except Naruto had cleared out of the room, Naruto relaxed, and so did Sasuke. "How are you feeling? When I woke up, I was so thirsty. Are you? Maybe I should get some water."

"No, don't go. Stay, please." Sasuke's eyes fluttered shut, and he began snoring softly. Naruto never left his side until he woke back up three hours later.

"Hey again." Naruto murmured. "That must've been some nightmare. You actually forced yourself awake. You want to talk about it?" he already knew the answer he would get, but it was worth trying.

Sasuke looked away from him, and uttered "It's none of your concern." He didn't need to know, this time.

Naruto raised his hands and stretched. He had one eye open as he informed Sasuke "The have no clue who we are. To them, we're just a couple of kids."

Maybe the drugs were affecting him or something, because Sasuke full out laughed. He couldn't stop, "You're joking right? And they, they just, and you?" he laughed again, clutching his stomach. The staff observing were shifting edgily. Many took notes on this behaviour.

Naruto deliberately looked around the room, so that Sasuke could see what he was doing. "You know, right?" You know they see and hear everything? "Maybe we should talk naturally?" we should talk in our code.

Sasuke had been through this "code" too many times over. Naruto had insisted of just him, Sasuke and Sakura have their own code. The idea originally gave him a headache, but now, it was just the thing they needed.

The scientists taking down the conversation word for word were confused at the following exchange of words.

Being in an enclosed building deep underground did funny things to people. They would begin to grow a sort of bond with each other, and get to know each other. And talking to each other was about the only form of entertainment. The staff in the laboratory had been told to get a week's worth of travel gear, and to be ready to board the military submarine. In the lab, there was no reception for phones, only a landline connected to the military, no internet and no TV. Those who brought their iPods and chargers were lucky, but those who didn't…

Well, they talked to anyone they could. Especially Naruto, who was the strangest and newest of them all. During mealtimes, and sometimes the time in between, he would hang at the cafeteria, eating and being himself. Well, half of himself. He couldn't practice his shinobi skills of pull practical jokes.

Without even knowing it, he was gathering intelligence and other data from the staff. Most of it was unimportant, like how Greg's bitch was having a litter, and how Sarah bought a new dress before coming in here, but he also knew that everyone slept in the lab, no one ever went outside the lab, and that everyone was overly curious about himself.

The strange thing was, they weren't curious about who he was (nobody knew, strange…), but they were keen to know about everyday things, like what his home looked like, what the villagers were like, the technology, the language, etc. etc.

Whenever it involved the village though, he was careful to only let them know what any outsider would know, which were the very basics.

He was now putting that knowledge into use by telling Sasuke.

"All of the whites discourage foreign apples, and they are very proud and protective, but they need to reload." There are only people in white here, the same people are always here, they never leave, but they need to restock their supplies. Naruto said seriously, yet it had an air of casualty.

Sasuke frowned. "Refresh?" what else?

"I feel so naked, they even buried my shags" They took all of our real clothes and weapons and hidden them. Damn. Naruto sure could put a downer on things.

"Where's the position of the coop?" where exactly are we?

"They don't gabble about it to me, they feel restrained." They aren't allowed to tell me. "I believe that it's buried of swimming." I think it's underneath the ocean or underground.

Sasuke really wanted to tell more, but the nervous scientists realised they were talking in code, so Derek, the skinny and bald one, ushered Naruto out of the room, claiming that Sasuke needed more rest. Naruto could've stayed if he really wanted to, but Haymen's deal included good behaviour.

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"Awesome! Ramen! You guys finally got it!" Naruto was sitting at a table, steaming bowl of ramen laid before him, and Shayla, Greg and Christie sitting around him this time. Shayla was a mechanic, Greg was the doctor in charge of Sakura, and Christie was the maid.

"Well, we normally call it 2 Minute Noodles, and if we had known that..." Greg 's thoughts wondered.

"We could've gotten it a lot sooner" finished off Shayla. She was eating scrambled eggs and bacon on toast, since she had missed breakfast. Naruto was inhaling the ramen. "Whoa, whoa, slow down, you're gonna get sick

"No, his ramen eating skills are legendary. Trust me, it would be strange if he didn't eat at least three bowls." A voice said behind Naruto said. Naruto turned around, and practically dragged Sasuke down to the seat next to him. After a small "oof" he finished off "and since he hasn't had any in a week, my money's on him eating twelve bowls."

"Huh, we only bought five packets, I think we should order more…" Greg trailed off again, spacing out.

"How on earth can you digest that much salt?" Christie couldn't comprehend how he got that hot body while eating all that 2 Minute Noodles. She had first assumed he had salads and other rabbit food, but 2 Minute Noodles? It was all too confusing.

"Well, it's easy! Ramen is so yummy, I can't stop!" Naruto was already asking for his second bowl.

"That, and it's cheap" muttered Sasuke. Naruto shot him a dirty glare. Then he turned away and stuck his nose in the air.

Naruto was about to dig into another bowl of 2 Minute Noodle placed before him, when a nurse ran over to Greg. "She's awake!" She whispered urgently in his ear. Naruto and Sasuke both heard what she said, and Naruto left the room before Greg could stand up. Sasuke just started to finish off the leftover noodles.

A/N: Weeee! Longest chapter! Are you guys happy with the length? Do you want it longer, or shorter? Let me know, k?

Also, I thought that the word "retard" would be more effective than "dead-last" you might agree or disagree, but let me know, k?

See you guys next Saturday!

The Elusive Ochibi-chan