2. Past Pain;

Bella and Jacob held each other for a few more minutes. Shockingly, Jacob was the one to pull away. The tears were gone, but the hurt and pain never left the two of them. This was new for them. Even though Bella had always run to Jacob for help and to pull her together, this was different. She needed him more than ever and she had nowhere else to go. Jacob knew how much he loved Bella, but was still angry at her for leaving and not giving any warning. What the hell are we doing? Jacob thought.

"Bella." He breathed, pulling away.

She sighed, letting him go.

"What… H-how…?" He tried to pull himself together, but it wasn't working. He finally found his words and anger left his body. "Why did you leave?" His voice was shaking and his body started to tremble. He didn't want to yell at Bella or hurt her, but he was losing control.

Bella jumped at his voice and looked down. "Jake, please, let me explain."

"Let you explain what? Explain how you left and never came back. Goddammit, Bella, I thought you were dead!"

She shivered. She knew this was going to happen, and was always scared of it. She breathed in and looked into Jacob's booming eyes of anger. "Please, Jake. Just let me… let me tell you what happened, please. I- I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't, Jake. It hurts me to do this to you. And I can't anymore," She said softly.

He sat down on his small bed, running his fingers through his silky hair, looking up at Bella. "Fine. Explain."

Bella nodded. Her voice was soft and scratchy. "When I agreed to marry… Edward, I didn't know what I was doing. I was confused and in love, but I knew there would be consequences. Edward would always promise to turn me after we got married, but I finally realized that's not what I wanted. I realized I wanted to live and have a life and not stay frozen forever."

Jacob's expression never changed, so Bella went on. "And when I last saw you… that June night when you were hurt… I felt so bad after what I did. I agreed to go off with someone and I didn't look at the other options. I should have chosen you, Jake, I'm so,so sorry." She looked down, another tear pouring out of her brown eye. "Two weeks before the wedding date, Edward and I got into an argument about changing me and he said he didn't want to marry me anymore."

Jacob's current expression changed into shock. "Bella, I-"

"No, Jake. Please, let me finish. That was just the beginning." She continued, crying to herself. "I couldn't believe he said that, so I tried to figure out why, and he said he didn't want to ruin my life. So I packed my clothes and left a note for Charlie, and I drove to Los Angeles. Alice landed me her car, so I didn't worry about transportation. I took some of my college money and got a job and small apartment. I was working in a restaurant until Alice called me one day, which was last week, telling me that Charlie was getting married to Sue. So I finally came home."

"And you never told me." Jacob added in.

"I wanted to. I wanted to tell you everything, but I figured it'd be best if you wait." She cleared.

"Really, Bella? I figured you'd understand that I hate waiting." He sighed. "You could have come to me after he said that. I would have been here for you. But no, I'm always your last option."

"No, Jake, please, don't put it that way. The only reason why I didn't come to you was because I didn't want you to think I was using you. I didn't want to hurt you again if I did leave anyway."

Jacob took a long, deep sigh. "And he just let you go? Just like that?"

"It wasn't easy running away from him." Bella sniffed. "I had to sneak out of Forks."

"Pathetic." Jacob mumbled under his breath. He hated Edward Cullen with all of his life. And he wanted to rip him apart for what he did, again. "Figure he'd be such a pus…"

"Jake, please," Bella stepped closer to him, laying her hands on his warm cheek, "Don't."

"Right. Sorry." Jacob hesitated for a moment. He wanted so badly to ask her if she still loved him like she said five months ago. But Jacob was afraid of that same answer. 'Yes, but it will always be him.' Well, it couldn't possibly be him this time. He left her, or she left him. He wanted to ask her, but he was also afraid of that answer, so he kept it to himself. Bella stood there, depressed and vulnerable, and she kept her eyes glued to the dark floor of Jacob's room. Her eyes were red, her hair was messy, and she didn't care. Jacob stood up and held her soft chin up, looking so deep into her chocolate eyes. All he saw was hurt and pain. She looked into his eyes as he looked into hers. They exchanged each other appearances, never looking away.

A sudden knock on the door startled them both.

"Jacob, you in there, son?" Billy's voice boomed from the other side of the door.

Jacob released Bella's chin and stepped away. "Yeah, dad. I'm in here, come in."

The door opened quietly as Billy's head popped in. "Hey Jake- Bella?" Billy almost gasped. "Bella! Welcome home- I mean… Welcome back!"

Bella smiled faintly, "Thanks, Billy. It's nice to be back."

"Wow." Billy grinned. "Well, Jake, I came to say that Sam called and you don't have patrol tomorrow."

Jacob nodded. "Got it."

"Well, I'm off to bed, kids. Bella, feel free to stay over. I'm sure Jacob won't mind. G'night!" He rolled himself out and into his bedroom.

Jacob chuckled quietly to himself, "Crazy old man," And returned his dark eyes to Bella's confused ones. Bella smiled softly, looking downwards.

"Would you like to stay over?" He asked her softly. Her breath hitched at the back of her throat. She wanted to badly. She nodded to his question.

Jacob had never felt so relieved and grateful in his life.

Two hours passed; Jacob and Bella were sitting on the couch watching television. The old, usual, Jacob and Bella hangout. Jake offered her to cuddle in his arms and she couldn't resist the warmth of his werewolf body. It was nearly twelve-am and Bella's eyes were drifting close every five minutes. Jacob felt her squirm in his arms and shook her lightly. "Bella?"

She sniffed quietly. "Hmm?"

"You're sleepy, honey."

"I am not." She protested, yawning.

"Yes." He grinned. "You are. C'mon Bella, let's get you into bed." He stood up, grabbing her hand. Bella refused, then he gave her a beautiful smile and she gave in. When they walked into his small bedroom, Jacob reached into his drawer and pulled out a green shirt, handing it to Bella. Her eyes widened.

"Uh, Jake, what's this?"

"Well, you don't think I'm going to let you sleep uncomfortable, do you?" He smirked.

"B-but. I won't be wearing jeans…"

"Just take the damn shirt, Bella."

She didn't argue this time. She nodded lightly, taking his shirt and walked into the tiny bathroom. Jacob quickly threw off his shirt and shorts, changing into only sweat pants. He climbed into bed, waiting for Bella to return. When she opened his door, she padded her way to his bed and slid under the covers. His small bed was very comfortable, to Bella.

Jacob's large hand slid over her waist and he pulled her close to him. She gasped.

"Bella, just… just let me hold you, okay?" He said, his voice shaking. She didn't protest and she cuddled to him. Jacob heard her heart beat faster, then slower as she fell asleep.

"God, I love you so much, Bella." He sighed deeply. He listened to her heart beat slowly until his own slowed down as he fell asleep in a blissful slumber.