It was never awkward with Sophia. She was beautiful and enjoyable, and kind, and sexy. He should not feel bad for wanting her, drunk or sober, he should not want to feel shitty for fucking her.
Yes, he felt a bit bad for only fucking her, not wanting to be too close to her after, and being a man with no words. Of course being her superior made things worse, and the fact that the lab was gaining knowledge of their affair. Those were great reason for standing up and leaving her bed and leaving her love life. But he did not want to. He wanted to go again, for he felt so much better when he was in her.
Sophia of course knew she was being foolish. Sleeping with her boss, but she enjoyed the triumph she felt. Even though she was starting to get emotional, she reminded herself that Grissom's motives where the same as hers. Sara. They both wanted to hurt Sara.
This time, waking up was a grand improvement. The two made the bed, and washed their meals of their plates, and even found time to have sex before Gil needed to leave. It was a good morning and it made both Gil's and Sophia's conscious a bit lighter.
---
She had made her decision, and it was sitting in his house mixed with the mail. She was going to San Francisco. She was going to destroy herself. Grissom knew he had to talk to her.
He drove to her apartment, all the while trying to figure out what he would say to her.
"Hello." It was all he had come up with.
"I take you got my form… Come in." She looked so pale, so much that he could see her veins crawl through her bare arms and up her neck ending at her forehead. She had been crying there was no doubt in that. The whole two-foot apartment smelt of salt. Yet that was not what gave her away, the blood red that cracked her eyes gave her away.
"I wanted to give it to you personally but I couldn't find you… And then I remembered you were busy, I didn't want to interrupt with a phone call just to give you two pieces of paper." She passed him a bottle of water from the fridge as she spoke.
His eyes scanned the room like they were trained to. The place was not as tidy as it had been when he was there last. She had books scattered cross her coffee table and her desk and her bed. All forensic books and magazines and printed pages, her home was full of information, all that she forced into her mind. Her sink was full on dishes, and as Grissom quickly noted her refrigerator had no food. It kind of hurt him to wonder about the things she was reading about, and the way she was treating her body. He knew all to well that sometimes when learning about crime one comes across these horrendous details that haunt the mind.
Her eyes looked haunted.
"You know Grissom you don't have to stand at the door… Unless you forgot your field kit and want to go get it before you come in." Gil took his eyes away from his worries. He took a step into the apartment and sat on a bar stool that lined up with a game of solitaire. Sara sat beside him.
"I wouldn't have minded if you called. I sort of hoped you would talk to me before you made your decision… I thought that we were being open with one another… that is what we've been doing lately, right?" He did not mean to sound so hurt as he spoke.
"No, I don't think that's what we've been doing… I mean I know I have but you certainly have not."
"Sara…"
"No." She interrupted, not that he had something to say. "You can speak after… When I told you about my family, I wasn't expecting you to tell me about yours. When we had our PEAP session, I defiantly was not expecting any retort. However, I did want me opening up to you, make you feel like telling me something… Anything, but you haven't… I am not undermining what you've done for me the past year. You've helped me tremendously… I want to go to San Francisco… does that make you want to say something?"
They both let the silence come. He felt suffocated by the crickets that must have been chirping.
Sara Sidle was looking right into him, and knowing his struggle, she automatically regretted ever trying to be bold but couldn't help but continue.
"I know you care about me Grissom, and I know you see my decision as the worst I could possibly make. I can tell… Why can you tell others and not me? You told Ecklie, you screamed it into his head. You told Dr. Lurie… If you can't say it to me than fine, you have some sort of issue and I am not going to force you into anything. However if you're not going to deal with that issue then stop torturing me and sign my leave of absence… I want your name there, not Eckile's. I need your support."
Grissom let every single word she said repeat in his mind, as he did he let it sink in. How she knew about Ecklie and Lurie, he was not sure, but that was not the point. The point was that she was right. After fidgeting with her solitaire game awhile, he pulled out her forms and a pen.
Sara felt lighter.
