It
was already the New Year Day. Abby was sitting, comfortably on the
livingroom's couch. The TV was on. She was watching cartoons. She
didn't work today... and without Luka, this day would seem to be very
long. Suddenly, she jumped when the phone rang. She picked up
it.
"Yes?"
"It's me. Everything is
okay?"
"Luka... Will you call me all 5 minutes to ask me
that?"
"Yes, because I miss you."
Abby giggled
and nodded.
"You too, can't you ask someone to take your
schedule?"
"Everybody is busy or not here. Morris is
leaving with Albright, Neela is very busy and I don't want to ask
her, Ray doesn't here..."
"Okay, okay. If you can't. Me,
I can. I'm borin' in front of the tv. I will come."
Abby felt
that Luka didn't listen to her.
"Luka? Are you here?"
"Sorry,
baby, I must go."
"Okay. See you later."
"Yes.
I love you."
"Me too."
Abby put the phone and
went to the bedroom. The bed wasn't made. She opened her closet and
took a shirt and black pants. Suddenly she wasn't feeling good.
Everything around her moved. She helped herself holding to the wall.
She began to run to the bathroom and she brought up. She leant back
against the wall. She rubed her eyes and wipped her mouth. She
sighed, believing that it was finished but, she vommited again.
What's
wrong with me? I wouldn't say if I felt myself better or not... I
was still on the floor in the bathroom. I managed to stand up in
spite of my trembling hands. I made a stepd behin when I saw my face
in the mirror. I had the impression to see a ghost. I began to panic.
I threw myself above the sink and made wet my face. I tried to take
my breathe again. Now, it was my whole body which trembled. I stayed
in front of the mirror until my skin begin its original
appearence.
What happened? Oh God!... I knew what it
was!... The chinese food that Luka bought last night.
I kept this
answer until I arrived in front of the hospital. Luka was going to
me. And at this moment, I realised that this answer wasn't the
only... I remembered all nights...all wild nights that Luka and I
spent since two months.
"Hey!" He exclamed. "You're
pale. Are you okay?"
What would I answer? Hey Luka! I
think I'm pregnant! No! I couldn't be! We made attention...
"I'm
not really fine."
Cheers Abby! Like that he would ask
you a lot of questions and as usual he would be worry for you.
"You
should stay at home."
"I know...but I wanted to see
you."
His interrogative glance appeared on his face.
Oh!
Luka! Don't look at me like that...! I will break down and I'll
reveal my thoughts... Please...
He smiled.
Thanks! I
nodded. He kissed me and caressed my cheek with his nose, then he
whispered :
"I finished in two hours, finally. I called
Ray."
"Really?"
"Yes..."
He looked
at me with his particular glance : sexy, provocative, nice,
disturbing, and which could say that he had a lot of ideas...
I
smiled as to answer him to his request and I felt he was
satisfacted.
"See you at home in two hours, so..." I
said.
"See you."
He went away after kissed me.
I
went to the druggstore and I went home. The first thing that I did,
it was this. The famous pregancy test. I didn't really know if it was
a good idea...this pregnancy...for a lot of reasons... I was old...
and... I don't want to think about him... I can't.. I would
wait three minutes. When it was the time to look. I heard the key in
the lock.
Oh God! No! Already! I heard his voice.
"Abby?
Are you here?"
The most important, it was that my voice
sounded...normal.
"Yeah. I'm in the bathroom. I'll
arrive."
"Okay..."
I heard that he switched on
the tv. I shook my head to not think about the sound and I put my
eyes on the pregnancy test.
I
was freezing. I couldn't move. It was... My eyes stinged me on
account of my tears which don't want to go out. My lips trembled. I
felt I was falling. Everything around me turned, turned and turned
again. I try to hold me with the sink, but the impression was too
hard... His voice called me in the reality.
"Abby? What do
you want to eat?"
I couldn't answer. My mouth was paralyzed,
any sound could go out of it. My heart bounced very hard in my chest.
"Abby? are you okay?"
Please Abby say
something...Say something..
"Yeah. I don't know, make
what you want."
"Okay. Will you go out of this bathroom?
I returned at home for you, baby..."
"I'll arrive."
He
didn't answer another question. I looked at me in the mirror. I was
the impression to see a unknown. I was already pregnant... Luka
wanted another child... We wanted another child... we needed more...
we needed to buil our family... But why do i react like that? A
million of questions came through my mind and they settled. I
couldn't erased them. They made too noise in my head. I felt like
shots of hammer. I took a deep breathe and I went out. When I arrived
I saw Luka on the couch. He was asleeping. I smiled and nodded. I was
lying down next to him, against him, to felt him close to me.
"I
love you, Luka..."
He moved a little and kissed me on my
hair.
"I love you too."
I
was lying down on the beach. There was a sunset and I could hear the
birds' song. I just turned my hand to see next to me. Luka appeared,
stretched out close to me. He took my hand and sighed gently. I was
happy and quiet. The wind blew slowly on our face and we could smell
flowers' scent. I had the impression to be in heaven. Luka put a kiss
on my lips which began to burn at his contact. I closed my eyes to
take advantage of this wonderful moment. He whispered in my ear :"I'm
so happy..."
He kissed me again...
"Abby?
Abby?"
I opened my eyes, all a sudden, Luka appeared knelt in
front of me. I was on the couch.
"Abby, are you hungry?"
I
tried to take my mind again.
"Yeah...why not..."
"Sorry
to wake up you but it's already 9pm..."
"Oh god, it's
late. How many time we slept?"
"5 hours. (He leant on
me.) And I never slept like that..."
He kissed me, he slid
his hands under my shirt, I shivered at his contact. He caressed my
belly. I made my lips parted his.
"Luka...I'm hungry..."
He
glanced to me.
"Okay... I prepared Croatian's speciality
food."
"Great."
He went away in the kitchen. I
felt that he was a little bit disappointed. I felt myself guilty. But
suddenly, I reminded me about the pregnancy test. Oh god... I
stood up violently and I ran to the bathroom. It was on the sink.
"I'm totally senseless..." I whispered. I thought that
I whispered too loud because Luka said :
"What happen?"
I
rolled my eyes.
"Nothing..."
"Right?"
"Right."
I
took the pregnancy test and threw it in the garbage can. I hid it
with some tissue.
"Abby? It's ready."
"I'm
coming."
I went out and I saw Luka who was waiting for me in
front of a wonderful dressed table.
"Wow."
"Madam..."He
helped to sit me. He sat too. When I wanted to take my napkin, I saw
a diamond ring. Oh... my... god... ! Crap!
I couldn't
prounonce a word. Luka didn't dare to talk. I looked up to his eyes.
Unconciously my fingers took the ring.
"Luka..."
Oh
my god... I say something!
He smiled and came to me, he knelt
in front of me and took my hand slowly. He didn't stop to
smile.
"Abby... I love you so much...We overcame a lot of
situations, a lot of troubles together... I let you to leave one
time, five years ago. I don't want begin again. Will you marry me?"
I
was sure that he would ask me this... but... I couldn't think... it
was impossible... I remembered when Richard proposed me. But Luka and
him were very different. Luka was the man that every women desire in
their life. I felt a wave went up in my body, I felt a electric shock
in my back, in my stomack, in my heart, in my head... I was losing
the control of my mind... A word went out of my mouth :
"Yes."
I
took my breathe again.
"Yes, i will."
I knew a smile
was on my face. I nodded and leant to his face to kiss
him.
"Oh...god..Luka..."
Luka smiled. He took me by
the waist and squeezed me against his strong body.
"I love
you, I love you so much."
I smiled. He put on the ring on my
finger and kissed me again.
Abby
was lying down on the couch in the gynecologist's office. The doctor
was next to her and turned on the ultrasound.
"Did you make
a pregnancy test?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"When?"
"Three
days ago."
"Right..."
She was looking
attentively the screen. She turned it for Abby looked at it.
"You're
pregnant since 4 weeks. Congraluations."
"Thanks."
"What
do the daddy think?"
"I don't know it yet."
"Oh..."
She
nodded.
"What do you want to do? Keep it or not keep it?"
"I
want this baby... but i'm affraid of the future...if it will happen
the same thing... that with Joe... I will not be able to overcome it
again."
"Keep hope."
Abby smiled then she looked
up.
Abby arrived in the rest room. Luka was watching tv.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"You're taking your
break?"
"Yes. Where were you? I looked for
you."
"Luka... I was in ..." All of a sudden, Abby
winced. She put her hand violently on her stomach.
"Abby? Are
you okay?"
"Yeah... I'll return..."
She went out
and went to the toilets. She bolted the toilet's door. She looked her
hand... it was bloody... Abby trembled. She sat and began to cry. Ten
minutes later, she heard Luka ho entered in ladie's room.
"Abby?
What happen?"
"Go away!."
"No, went
out!"
Abby opened the door. Luka saw her hand. Abby washed
her hands. Her eyes were wet because of tears.
"What..."Luka
began.
"I was pregnant... I had a miscarriage."
Luka
moved close to her and took her in his arms. He squeezed her more and
more and soothed her slowly.
"Ssshh... calm down... I'm
here..."
"I swear you Luka... I wanted to say it to
you..."
"I believe you... I believe you, Abby."
Abby
cried more and more. Luka bit his lip to not break down.
"We
lost one again..."
Luka obliged her to glance to him in eyes,
cupping her head.
"Abby... We'll have a baby... soon... let
time... We lost our child, we began to overcome the situation and
we'll marry together soon. We'll have a baby, the only thing which
miss to our happiness."
"Will we try?"
"Everyday."
He
nodded and grinned.
"Every night."
Abby sobbed,
smiling and her lips were trembling.
