Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns everything

Author's Note: NeonDomino Remus will continue to be morose for another 5-7 chapters for sure! So buckle up the ride is going to be long!

I see that SIL is getting many visitors but none of you guys are reviewing! I would really love your feedback! I will even hasten up the romance if you guys are nice enough to me! :P

Moving on…

Chapter 4

Remus got out his customary tweed jacket. His well loved and worn out tweed jacket. Dora loved the jacket. She thought he looked sexy in it and was probably the only witch to ever find him sexy. He smiled at it. He would never know what she saw in him. They never really bonded over intellectual conversations either. He guessed it had something to do with the patrols they did on those moonless nights in the dangerous corridors of the Ministry.

He didn't know why he was going. Maybe it was Molly. Maybe it was the entire family. Maybe he just missed company. Maybe he just hated himself too much to spend any time by himself. A cruel laugh escaped his mouth. He knew this was going to be a really bad idea. He dusted the jacket after putting it on and left to apparate to the Burrow.

He reached a few feet away from the fence. It was eerily quiet. So much so that even the garden gnomes were not creating a ruckus. He didn't like it one bit. This was where he and Dora got married, surrounded by love and laughter. Dora would have hated what it had come to know. He sighed and walked towards the door. Molly opened the door before he could knock and his breath got caught in his throat.

It was worse than he thought. Molly looked like she had aged a decade in a few weeks time. Her face was devoid of any kind of warmth. It was gaunt and emotionless. Molly tried smiling but it ended up looking like a grimace. She hugged him anyways. 'Its really nice to see you Remus. I am so glad you came. I thought we had lost you forever.' her hug which was once comforted him and reminded him of Dorea Potter, now felt cold and empty. He could not respond so just hugged her tight, hoping he had conveyed everything he could not say.

He heard Arthur's soft voice 'Ahh Remus! I thought we would never hear from you again'. Remus frowned and let go of Molly. Why did everyone seem to have an opinion on his aloofness? But Arthur's smile stopped him from making any kind of comment. His red hair had lost all pigment. He had lost his child too. And now he was on the brink of losing another. He too wasn't able to protect his family as he would have liked to. He wanted to cry. He wanted to break down right there and cry like a little boy. The way he did after Dora's and his baby's funeral.

Arthur seemed to have sensed his grief and hugged him as he had taken to holding George during his insomnia ridden nights. Remus seemed so lost when he turned up at the door. Arthur knew the man needed as much support as could get, but seeing how he had been reacting in the past few months to any kind of friendly gesture, he didn't know how to help him.

'I thought for once I shouldn't be a jackass. I bumped into Hermione at the Ministry the other day and she invited me over for lunch. I am really sorry about Ron. I wish I had told you that earlier' Remus muttered. Arthur slapped his back and said, 'You are always welcome here Remus. You are very dear to all of us. And please don't talk like my boy is dead. There is still hope for him. He might just decide to grace us with his presence today.' Remus wanted to snort but stopped himself out of courtesy. His eyes locked with Hermione's while she was coming down the stairs and he looked away. He knew if she had overheard the conversation, she would have had a lower tolerance for cheek than Arthur did.

He walked to the kitchen where he found George mulling over a pot of tea and joined him. George surprisingly seemed like he was finally coming to terms with Fred's death. At least one of them was dealing with the death of a loved one well. He didn't look lifeless like Molly or Hermione. He didn't even look resigned like Arthur. He just looked sad and like he had accepted the fact that he would never get to see Fred again. George looked up and nodded at him.

'You look like you have had enough of the pity party' George noted wryly.

'Yeah I was hoping you would rescue me' Remus half-attempted at a joke. The expression on George's face made him feel a little lighter on the inside. He felt less agitated about the lunch. He noticed Hermione had quietly slipped in and George gave her a small smile which she returned.

'I don't know about your rescuing Remus but I definitely think Angelina needs some rescuing now' Hermione noted. George's face turned towards the living room where he saw his mother conversing very passionately with Angelina. 'Sorry Remus, will have to join you later' George said and sped off to take Angelina away from his mum's clutches.

'She is pregnant you know. With Fred's child. That's why Molly is so stressed. She wants her to move in as soon as possible because she feels like its her responsibility to take care of Fred's child and its mother.' Hermione told him. As he let the thought sink in, his eyes darted to her slightly swollen stomach. She was having a baby. She was going to bring it up without the father. Granted the whole Weasley clan would look after Fred's offspring, he couldn't help but feel for the child. The child would probably go through what Harry went through. But it at least had a mother and a loving extended family. He often thought of what would have happened had he stuck to his original plan of separating from Dora and not giving the child his name. Would his child grow up happy to not have a werewolf for a father? Or would his child feel betrayed?

Hermione recognised the distant look in his eyes while he stared at Angelina's small belly. He was probably thinking of his own child whom he never had the chance of meeting. Fred too would never see his child. Arthur and Molly might never get to see their youngest son move again. She might never be able to have Ron's babies the way she had always dreamed she would. The war had taken so much away from everyone. She wanted to run. Run away form this world.

Living as a muggle in some obscure part of the world without ever thinking of magic seemed very appealing now.

'Stop feeling sorry for me.' Remus said tightly. Hermione snapped out of her reverie and looked at Remus thoroughly again. 'It wasn't you I was feeling sorry for. It was for myself.'

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA.

Remus's loud and cruel laughter echoed through the whole of the Burrow.

'Feel sorry for yourself?! FEEL SORRY FOR HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER?!'

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

'Little Miss Perfect with the perfect grades and the perfect job feels sorry for herself because her boyfriend is asleep and refuses to wake up to have her babies. What would you know about life! You are not even two decades old! You have had the most sheltered upbringing and have gotten all the privileges that come along with being the teacher's pet! If Ron doesn't wake up tomorrow you will move on and get knocked up by someone else…'

He was stopped by a hard slap across his face.

Hermione was seething in anger. 'How dare you Remus?! I know you are grieving but so are we! You are not the only one to lose someone you loved! I loved Tonks too you know! And just because I am not a werewolf doesn't mean I haven't faced any kind of discrimination. Me being a muggle born has come in the way of my appraisal at various times and you know that! And how dare you say that about Ron! I will never be able to love anyone the way I love Ron!'

He turned around abruptly. 'I knew it was foolish to come here.'

He took long steps to get out of the Burrow as fast as he could and no one stopped him. Everyone looked shocked and hurt. Except for George. He looked outraged. Remus had no intention of ruining his day further and avoided making eye contact with young man. On his way out he bumped into Harry who looked overjoyed on seeing him. His expression soon changed as he saw the faces of the others at the door and through the windows. It sobered Remus a bit who looked back with what he thought was an apologetic face. He hadn't meant all that he said and he knew he was wrong when he felt like he dealt with the worst.

He just become so lonely. He had lost the only woman who loved him, he lost his mentor Dumbledore and all his friends. He only had Harry now. The Weasleys and the others were a part of his life only because he was important to Harry. He hadn't meant to be so harsh on Hermione. He sighed, 'It's a long story Harry. Its best if we talk about it some other time.'

Harry looked once more at the others and put his arm around his father's best friend, 'No its high time we talked. You owe it to me now. Lets go somewhere else.' Remus had no choice when Harry put it like that. He knew it was true. He let Harry apparate them to Grimmauld Place where he brewed the both of them some hot chocolate. Remus hadn't had chocolate in a long time. He didn't want to have chocolate. He didn't see the point in having any.

'Have it. You will feel better' Harry told him without any smile or hint of humour.

Remus took the tiniest sip. He had to admit he missed the smell of chocolate. 'What do you want to talk about Harry? I don't think it's a good idea to skip Molly's cooking for any kind of conversation with me.'

'I know which is why I want to fucking stay away from the Weasleys and Hermione.'

Remus was too shocked to respond to him. The only other time Harry addressed him this way was when he offered to join them on their Horcrux hunt and leave Dora behind to deal with the baby on her own.

Harry's gaze was flinty as he spoke, 'We care for you deeply Remus but that does not give you the right to disrespect us or disregard our feelings. You are not the only person who was affected by the war so its about time you stopped acting like a petulant child. Even Dudley seems to show more maturity than you do. All you have been is selfish. Right since Tonks got pregnant, all you have been thinking of is yourself. Its either your sense of righteousness, your conscience, your guilt or your loneliness. We have all been through similar conflicts during war. You have no right to go around mocking people's loss when all they are trying to do is move on, which you refuse to do because of your selfishness. I don't know what has come over you. I don't know about my dad but I know for sure Sirius and Tonks would be very disappointed in you if they saw you like this. I know I am.'

That's all that Remus needed. That was the last straw. The very last thread that held him together. He broke down. He broke down like a little child and cried. He cried for everything and everyone. He cried for James, Lily, Sirius, Peter, Dumbledore, Dora, Fred and Ron. He cried alone. Harry did not comfort him while he relived all those moments. Harry left the second he saw Remus falling apart. For all those times when he rejected their unconditional support, Remus would have to deal with his pain alone.