I make my way slowly back to my cell, feeling every inch of me burning. The tears caused by Swoop's betrayal burn in my eyes, making it hard to see. My heart aches as all of the painful thoughts rush through my mind. It's here, it's all here. Right here in Ocean Bluff. My life; my real life was within arm's reach the whole time, kept only from my grasp by Swoop's lies.
Less than a mile from my apartment, the cell I've shut myself into for the last two years was the biggest lie of all, the one that finally answered so many questions. I doubt many people get to see their own grave. I've not only seen it though, I've wept over it. I wept for the loss of a life I never remembered until a few short minutes ago. I wept for the betrayal of a man I've known and in many ways loved, for all this time. I've always known he's been lying to me, but never in my wildest dreams could I believe he could do this.
My sorrow grows as I remember the worst part of all. I've seen my mate, my Lion. Jarrod, the first and only man I'll truly love with all of my being was only about 20 feet from me. He's alive, but he believes the lie Swoop has told us for all this time. He hasn't been looking for me, or even thinking about me for all this time because he believes I'm dead, and since the animal spirits of the three Masters are shown on the grave, they're all in on this.
As I come into the apartment, my senses perk up. He's here. He must have come to see me while I was at the funeral. I turn to see him standing in the centre of the apartment, a cold look on his face. The usual smirk is gone from his lips.
"You aren't meant to leave the apartment Persephone," he tells me, his voice low, with a hint of anger in it, "you know what could happen if you're discovered. Where have you been?"
I can't control myself much longer. He's been my father, my guide, my lover, and also my gaoler. He's been pretending to love me, care for me for so long, all the time he's been keeping me from the truth. Now he has the audacity to scold me like a child?
"I've been to the graveyard Swoop," I hiss angrily, moving around the room. I can see the look on his face changing. He can tell by my voice that I'm still crying, and the savageness of my tone lets him feel the anger in me, "I doubt the police are looking for a corpse!"
"Persephone..."
"I've seen my grave Swoop!" I spit in my rage, slamming my hands into his chest. I stagger him, shoving him roughly into some weight training equipment. "You've lied to me all this time! You've taken everything from me!"
"Persephone..."
"Kiran!" I correct him, slapping him hard across the face and sending him falling to the floor. "I called myself Kiran. Everyone called me Kiran, Jarrod called me Kiran!"
"Jarrod?" Swoop asks me from the floor, "you know about Jarrod?"
"I saw him!" I snarl at him, by now having lost all form of restraint. "One of the men I killed for you was his father. I saw him at the funeral, that's why I was at the graveyard!"
He breathes a sigh and stands up from the floor. I can sense a kind of defeat in him at this point. He has to have known this day would come, that one day I would remember, that he would have to explain everything.
"Did he see you?" Swoop asks me. That's it, that's the final straw. He owes me an explanation. He owes me my life back, and the only thing he cares about is whether I'm the only one who knows about his deceit? I launch into the attack, forcing him to defend himself.
"Kiran, listen to me!" Swoop snaps as he parries the first of my blows, spinning away from me into the middle of the floor to gain some room to move. "I didn't have a choice, there's nothing else we could do. Your condition was so serious; we couldn't stop you from trying to kill yourself."
"I was at the hospital!" I snarl, launching myself onto him, forcing him over a weigh bench, and locking my hands around his throat, desperate to squeeze the life from him. He knees me in the gut and twists himself sharply, dumping me on the floor. He pulls himself back up, rubbing his neck.
"You killed three people!" He reminds me. "Your forensic details are on police file. They don't know your name, but they do know who you are. You are a fugitive; that much is true."
I kip up back to my feet and launch a kick at him, connecting with his ribs. He catches my leg and throws me across the room, smashing me through the coffee table.
"When the Elders found out you had survived and were this dangerous, they wanted to have you executed." He informed me. There are tears in his eyes, and his voice is breaking. "I couldn't let them kill you any more than I could have let you die when you shot yourself."
I launch myself at him again, though this time he's ready for me. He catches my wrists and twists sharply, holding me to his chest, my hands trapped between our bodies as he holds me tightly.
"I volunteered to be your messenger if they kept you on as a hunter." He tells me, his voice becoming strained with his effort to restrain me. I continue to try and rip myself from his grip.
"You should have let me die!" I screech, lashing out at him, kicking him sharply in the shin. He stumbles away far enough for me to punch him in the face. "I had a mate!"
"A mate the elders forbid you to see before the accident." He spluttered as blood fell from his nose. "Their condition for allowing you to live was that I ensure you and Jarrod never see each other again."
"You had no right..."
"I had no choice!" He responds, latching a hand around my throat. I can feel the intensity of his grip. His fingers are squeezing into my jugular. He could tear it out if he wanted, end my misery right now. He loosens his grip and lets his hand fall. "I am sorry, this is exactly what I wanted to avoid. That is why I've lied to you all this time."
"You wanted to keep me for yourself." I mutter as I regain composure. Swoop has never threatened me like that. My life has never been in danger when he is with me. Of course I've never tried to kill him before. I had pretty much driven myself into a murderous rage at his betrayal. He sits on the bed, mopping some blood from his nose. "You never loved me..."
"I've always loved you." He tells me sadly. "Persephone, I never wanted for you to be trapped like this, but it was the only way. I knew you could never live out with the temple's doctrine. Either the police would find you and arrest you, or the Elders would have you hunted and killed. I couldn't bear for either to happen."
I look on him now, and I'm still as mad as hell. He's still the one who's kept me in the dark about all of this but now I see something in him that's been there all along. He looks different to me now. Through my rage I can feel something I never thought I would in this moment. I know he still truly loves me.
"This is the reason I didn't tell you," he sighs sadly, "I knew that you would have to live like this. It seemed merciful that you couldn't remember anything."
He reaches a hand out to me, which I find myself holding.
"I knew you would never be able to go back to your old life," he tells me, "you already know how you felt when you saw Jarrod, when you were so close to him. What was the point in having you remember what you could never have?"
I definitely never expected to feel this. I feel sorry for him. He's been my whole world for so long, in so many more ways than I could ever have known.
"Can you ever forgive me?" he asks me hopefully. My anger overtakes me and I slap him as hard as I can. How could he possibly ask me to forgive him for what he's done? He grabs me as he rolls onto the bed, trying to stop me from attacking him. I manage to shift my weight and we both end up on the floor, the covers wrapped around us. Swoop pins me to the floor. Our breathing is rapid and strained; our hearts pounding. I draw closer to him, and my lips meet his. Before I know it, he's returning the gesture.
A couple of hours later, we're lying on the floor of the ruined apartment. Furniture and training equipment is strewn all over the room. Our clothes discarded carelessly all around us. We lie in each other's arms, the sheets wrapped tightly around us. We're both exhausted, and covered in minor injuries. To look at Swoop's torso, one would think he's been attacked by a wildcat. I guess in a way he has. He reaches across, stroking some hair out of my face.
"The answer's no." I tell him softly. He looks a little confused.
"The answer to what's no?" He asks me.
"No, I can never forgive you," I tell him, pulling into him tightly, resting my head against his chest, "I love you, I understand what you did, but I can never forgive you."
"I guess I'll have to live with that," Swoop tells me sadly as he lifts up the blanket and pulls himself off the floor. He begins to get dressed as I pull the covers around myself, covering my body.
"I guess I have a lot of clearing up to do," I comment sarcastically as I look around at what's left of my apartment. Swoop laughs a little as I say this.
"I can stay and help for a while if you like," he tells me as he finishes getting dressed. I sit on the bed and think about it for a second. So much has happened today already. My head feels like it's going to explode with all the thoughts and feelings coursing through me at an incredible rate. I have a lot to sort through, I need to straighten out my head, and I know I'll never be able to do that with him here.
"I think you'd better go," I tell him. I can already see the look on his face as I say this, and I know what he's thinking. "I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" he asked me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Now I really am sure. Part of me wants to drag him into the bed with me, another wants to tear his head off. I really need to figure out what's going on in my head. I definitely know I can't do that while he's here. I'm more confused about him than anything else. "I could stay."
"No, I really need to be by myself," I tell him, "I won't go anywhere. I won't leave the apartment again."
He smiles at me and turns to leave. Picking up his coat, he opens the door, before stopping in the doorway.
"For what it's worth, I really am sorry Kiran," he said gently, "I never wanted you to get hurt. You've been hurt too much already."
With that, he left the apartment. I turn over onto the bed and cry myself to sleep. In many ways Swoop was right. Knowing the truth hasn't made things any better for me. If anything, they're a lot worse.
Fin
Chelle had planned a sequel to "Enemy Within", this was just a few pieces I was inspired to write to fill in the gaps. Hope you enjoyed them, and feel I did it justice. Thanks again to Chelle for letting me use the character.
