Even in dreams he's tormented.
Hitsugaya had no idea where he was. He stood alone in a place void of anything. Total bleakness and foreboding hung in the atmosphere around him. Suddenly he was overwhelmed by this incredible spiritual pressure. He tried to reach for his Zanpaktou but the pressure was too great he could hardly move. Toushirou's eyes grew wide as Gin materialized out of nowhere with Shinsou already unsheathed and aimed to strike. The ever present smirk still plastered on the dead man's face.
"Let's make sure," a female voice unexpectedly echoed in the air. Hitsugaya visibly paled when he realized who it was. He watched as Matsumoto appeared behind Gin, her body pressed intimately against his back. She wrapped an arm around Gin's waist while the other guided his weapon over Toushirou's chest. "That you don't miss this time, Gin."
"NO!" Hitsugaya awoke with a start, jolting upright in bed as he placed his hand over his chest. He winced as a searing pain ruptured from beneath his hand.
"AH!" Hanataro Yamada, 7th seat of the 4th division, screamed in fright and tried to duck for cover under the bed.
Hitsugaya blinked away the haziness, trying to decipher what was going on after hearing someone screaming. He looked over the edge of the bed only to see the young medic Shinigami clutching at his chest, his face white as a ghost.
He tried to speak, "Hanataro?" but found his throat dry and harsh.
Hanataro, who had managed to get back on his feet, handed Hitsugaya the cup of water that had been sitting on the night stand next to his bed.
Hitsugaya cautiously sipped at the cool liquid, sighing as it ran down his throat. "Thank you," he replied his voice still rather rough. Now that he had quenched his thirst Hitsugaya began to speak wanting some answers to his questions. "Hanataro," he called for the young man's attention but was quickly cut off as Hanataro bowed deeply and began to apologize.
"Pl…please forgive me Hit…Hitsugaya Tai…cho. I did not mean to disturb you."
"There is no need to apologize, Hanataro. But I do wish for some answers."
Hanataro visibly relaxed and nodded his head, "Hai."
"How did I get here?" It was quite clear that he was in the 4th division but the last thing he remembered was fighting off hollows and then nothing. Hanataro frowned he wasn't privy to the details about what had happened to the 10th division taicho. All he had been ordered to do was just simply check on his vitals. Before he could answer a woman's voice echoed in the room.
"Well you can thank both Juushiro and Kyoraku for that."
Hitsugaya turned his head to see Unohana Taicho entering the room.
With a light sigh, Unohana reached Hitsugaya's bed. The warm and gentle aura belied the irritation she held in her eyes as she noticed the bandages around Toushirou's chest began to spot with blood. She politely dismissed Hanataro and waited till he left the room before addressing her patient. "You really should be more careful with my subordinates, Toushirou-kun. I can't have you scaring all of them away."
Embarrassed Hitsugaya lowered his head not wanting to look the woman in the eye. If there were anyone, besides his grandmother, to make him feel like a little kid it was Unohana Taicho. A small smile appeared on her face as she made her way to his side. Carefully she began to undo the bandages and inspect his wound. Hitsugaya lowered his head even more in shame when he noticed Unohana shaking her head in disappointment. "It seems you've managed to rip a few stitches but nothing serious."
Hitsugaya cleared his throat while Unohana began re-stitching his wound. "Could you please tell me what happened, Unohana Taicho."
After reapplying new bandages Unohana sat gently besides him on the bed. "You were brought here by Juushiro and Kyoraku. Unfortunately there isn't much more I could tell you."
Hitsugaya frowned at what little information was given. Perhaps soon after being discharged from Unohana's care it would be best to visit the two responsible for his safe return.
"How long have I been…here?"
"Three days."
Hitsugaya's eyes grew wide. Had be been out for that long?
Unohana reassuringly reached out to squeeze his hand. "Besides the wound on your chest, all other injuries you've sustained were minor. It would seem your outing had taken quite a lot out of you. Your body just needed some time to recover."
Looking up he asked, "Has anyone..."
Unohana shook her head, "I ordered that no one were allowed to visit until you awoke." He nodded his head.
"But now that you are awake I will inform your fukutaicho and that you may now receive visitors."
Hitsugaya knew that his little trip outside of the Seiretie had caused quite a commotion. He also knew a visit to Yamamoto soutaicho was inevitable the moment he was released. He needed all the time he could get. His mind wasn't worried about his meeting with the old man but the apprehension he felt when he finally had to face her. "If it is not too much trouble, Unohana taicho I would rather not be disturbed by anyone."
A frown appeared on the woman's face, "Are you sure, Toushirou-kun? There are a few people who have been worried about you, your division, and quite especially your fukutaicho.
"Please Retsu-san," It was rare for the 10th division taicho to be so informal with his peers. That is why Unohana knew that when he called her by her first name that he was personally asking her a favor.
"I would rather not see anyone."
But she had to wonder, "What of Rangiku-chan. She is the one most worried about your welfare." Remembering the many times she had to order the young woman from visiting her taicho.
Just hearing her name brought on a pang of hurt to his heart. He closed his eyes and lay back in bed, "Especially her."
Unohana had noted the look of sadness in his eyes when she had mentioned his fukutaicho. Relenting to his request Unohana finally left the young taicho alone to his thoughts.
"Taicho! I hear that Hitsugaya taicho is finally awake. Shall I go and inform Matsumoto-san of his recovery?"
Unohana stood quietly for a moment regarding what Hitsugaya had asked of her. It was obvious that Hitsugaya had some falling out with Matsumoto but knew it was none of her business to question. Letting out a sigh she answered her fukutaicho.
"Yes please do and Isane," The older woman stared deeply into her fukutaicho's eyes, "Make sure that everyone is aware that Hitsugaya taicho will not be accepting any visitors until further notice."
Confused Isane stared at her taicho but Unohana simply shook her head. Isane understood and shunpoed towards the 10th division.
She callously threw her brush onto her desk unconcerned as it smeared ink onto the report she had been working on for the past hour. Resting her elbows on the desk Matsumoto dropped her head into her hands sighing in frustration. How could she possible concentrate on work when all she could think about was her injured taicho laying unconscious in the 4th division? What was even worse was that her interrogation with both Ukitake taicho and Kyouraku taicho had proven to be useless. They knew just as much as she did which, regrettably, was absolutely nothing. Something pivotal had happened that night she just knew it. Yet all she could manage to recall were hazy images and a sense of uneasiness.
Pulling away from her hands Matsumoto stared across the office towards the empty desk. It felt so odd not to see him there buried under piles of paperwork with sounds of rapid brush strokes filling the silent air. Matsumoto slammed her fist down onto her desk. She felt aggravated, annoyed, and most of all scared out of her mind. She nearly lost him that night and now this. "Damn it Toushirou what were you thinking?" Standing from her desk Matsumoto walked towards the couch where his captain's haori was draped across the back. Picking it up she clutched it tightly in her hands lifting the fabric to inhale his scent. Closing her eyes she remembers how it felt to have him laying limp in her arms. In that moment never had she felt so lost. Now, here in the present, she was reliving that fear.
She opened her eyes and stared out the window, hands now hugging his haori to her chest. Lost in thought Matsumoto did not hear the knock or the clearing of someone's throat.
"Matsumoto-san?"
Isane called out once again to gain Matsumoto's attention but to no avail. Cautiously she reached to place a hand on the woman's shoulder. Matsumoto jumped slightly from the sudden touch and twirled in defense to the intruder. A surprised gasped escaped her lips upon realizing who it was. "Isane…."
The young woman smiled and began to apologize until she noticed Matsumoto had been crying. "Are you alright Matsumoto-san?"
Only now realizing the state she must be in Matsumoto turned around to subtly wipe away any signs of tears and quickly placed his haori back onto the couch. Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she returned her attention to the other woman. "I'm alright."
As if finally registering who it really was Matsumoto began to panic. The fukutaicho of the 4th division was here. It could only mean she had news about Toushirou. Her mind began to reel with scenarios. Did something happen while he was unconscious? Had his injuries been more serious than what they had determined? "Isane!" She grabbed the woman's hands, "What's wrong with Hitsugaya taicho? Please tell me!"
Isane was quite taken by Matsumoto's outburst. Shaking her head she began to reassure that Hitsugaya taicho was alright. "Please Matsumoto calm down. Nothing is wrong I swear. Unohana taicho wanted me to inform you and your division that Hitsugaya taicho awoke earlier this morning and that he's fine.
Matsumoto let out an audible sigh. A bright smile appeared across her face. The first real smile she had in three days. Cheerfully Matsumoto pulled Isane into one of her famous hugs. "Thank you Isane, thank you."
Matsumoto was already half way out the door when Isane grabbed her wrist. "Where are you going Matsumoto-san?" There was still the issue of Hitsugaya's odd request she needed to relay.
Matsumoto frowned at Isane, "Why to see Hitsugaya taicho of course."
"About that, Matsumoto….."
"What is it, Isane?"
"Hitsugaya taicho is not receiving any visitors."
Matsumoto stared incredulously at the woman. "This is a joke, right?"
Isane shook her head.
Matsumoto's cheery disposition quickly faded. "I….I'm his fukutaicho…." She began to say then stopped. There was no use in arguing with Isane about such a stupid order. Instead she shunpoed out of the office and headed towards 4th division. Order or not she was going to see him.
Matsumoto was relived upon arrival that Unohana was nowhere in sight. Immediately she rushed into his room. Her heart was racing as her eyes landed on him sitting up in bed. "Taicho," her breath hitched as she called out to him. Hitsugaya fisted the sheets beneath him. He should have known that no matter what she was going to see him. When he didn't speak she hurried to his side.
He refused to look at her as she sat on the bed next to him. His heart began to pound against his chest. 'Please just leave,' he thought as he sat rigidly in bed.
Matsumoto suppressed the surprised gasp as she noted the large bandages covering most of his chest. She sat there studying his features. He seemed troubled, as if he was fighting some inner battle. Unable to resist any longer and just wanting to feel his warmth under her palm Matsumoto reached out to cup his cheek. Hitsugaya closed his eyes and absently leaned into her touch. They sat in silence until finally she spoke, "Taicho please tell me what happened."
Here question was like a trigger, tripping the memories of that night, of the kiss, and that wretched name escaping her lips. He tried to quell the ache in his heart but it was difficult now that she was actually here. Matsumoto was aware of the sudden chill in the room. Hitsugaya reached up to remove her hand from his face.
"Leave," was all he said.
Matsumoto frowned at his sudden coldness. "I don't understand? Toushirou please talk to me."
He had reached his limit. "You do not have the right to address me so intimately. I am your superior, your taicho. And as your taicho I am ordering you to leave, now!"
"But tai…taicho…" She stood there in complete shock, her body unable to move.
He finally looked up at her and what she saw in those teal eyes were an icy ferocity she had never seen before. "Damn it Matsumoto!" He began to yell even louder, "I said leave!" He pointed to the door but in doing so pulled at the stitches. His wound throbbed angrily as blood began to seep through the bandages once again. Matsumoto was a loss for words as tears began to fall from her eyes. Hitsugaya cursed at himself for making her cry but at the moment didn't care. The pain was a quick reminder of the reason why he was here.
"What is going on here?" Unohana demanded as she rushed into the room, soon followed by Isane and Hanataro.
Unohana stopped in her track surprised to see Matsumoto in the room. "Rangiku what are…." But upon seeing Toushirou clutching at his chest all questions were forgotten. Unohana hurried to her patient.
"Isane please escort Matsumoto outside. Hanataro I need your assistance."
"Hai!"
Isane guided Matsumoto who was still rather stunned outside of the room.
As they waited, Matsumoto tried to find an answer to Hitsugaya's sudden temper. Sure he had yelled at her for numerous times before and upon numerous occasions. But this…. She couldn't understand. What had she done to attract such ire from him? Before she could dwell on her thoughts the door to the room opened. Matsumoto rushed over to the woman, "Unohana taicho will Hitsugaya taicho be alright?"
After dismissing her subordinates Unohana guided Matsumoto to her office; upon entering she ordered the younger woman to take a seat. "Matsumoto I had been clear that Hitsugaya taicho was not to be disturbed."
Matsumoto lowered her head. The woman sure had a way of making someone feel like shit. "I'm sorry Unohana taicho."
Unohana sighed as she stood before Matsumoto. "I think it is best for both your sakes that you give Hitsugaya taicho some time to recover, hm?"
Matsumoto looked up ruefully and nodded her head.
"Now I know it is none of my business but did the two of you have a fight recently?"
Matsumoto stood up and began pacing the office. "That's the problem. I would greatly amend for whatever I've done wrong but I just I don't know what I did." She threw her hands in the air. "It's not like I haven't made him mad before but…." Matsumoto recalled how cold he looked at her. "I don't know what's gotten into him." Her lips began to tremble as fresh tears began to run down her face.
"Ran-chan," Unohana motioned for her to sit down. As she wiped away the tears she spoke, "Please do not be upset when I tell you this."
Matsumoto nodded her head.
"Since that night Gin died I've noticed a change in your relationship between you and Toushirou-kun."
Matsumoto pursed her lips. True, her relationship with her taicho had been different since that night. At first she had needed time to mourn over Gin's death. As time wore on she continued to keep her distance when she began to realize how much more important her little taicho was becoming. She was feeling conflicted between her love for Gin and these new feelings she was developing for Toushirou. Matsumoto was so confused she began to do work. Actually work!
"I don't know what to do, Unohana taicho."
Sympathetically Unohana patted the woman's hand, "Go home and give each other some space. In the mean time try to see if you can remember what happened that night, hm?"
Matsumoto nodded her head and left.
Unohana sighed for the umpteenth time that day, "Ah, love can be so confusing."
