A/N: I just couldn't wait to post this. Enjoy! Not sure how long it will be, but can you really complain? Three updates in a full span of 24 hours. Love me :DDD Sorry for any errors ahead of time. I've read it but I still can miss a little mistake here and there.
Chapter four:
Santana crossed her arms and stood motionless near the entrance to the Lima Holiday Fair, determined not to give any outward sign of the storm brewing within her. She refused to show any weakness or to let anyone see how she was dreading for the evening ahead of her. She'd had an easy out, but like a stubborn ass, she refused to take it, and now, she will have to suffer the consequences with a stiff upper lip.
Cutting off your nose to spite your face. Real smart, Lopez.
Santana sighed, it was true. She was an idiot. She should have taken Brittany up on the offer to cancel. If she had, she'd be at home relaxing and watching a football game showing on TV, with a plate of buffalo wings, maybe jacking off later. But, instead she's standing on a street corner trying to keep a poker face while her stomach digested her heart.
But, this afternoon, when Brittany had been standing in front of her, her blue eyes boring into her brown eyes, full of compassion and her concern for Santana in her expression, so clear, something inside her felt like she had to be rebellious She refused to accept anything from Brittany, even her compassion. She didn't want Brittany to pity her. Santana didn't want her to worry about Santana. She didn't want Brittany to feel anything for her except complete aversion.
In fact, she wanted Brittany S. Pierce to be so damn uncomfortable that she would reconsider her plans to stay in Lima. Santana wanted to send Brittany running back to New York or whatever she called home before she stormed back into Santana's life, and disrupted her even-keeled existence.
Until Brittany had shown up, Santana had been doing just fine. Not, great, but not bad either. She had a routine, a close circle of friends, a certain rhythm. But Brittany's arrival had shot her careful balance to hell. Now, she was grumpy at work, unsettled at home, and downright miserable whenever she was within ten feet of the blonde.
She couldn't deny the reaction she had towards Brittany. She did things to Santana- crazy unexpected things. If someone had told her yesterday that less than twenty-four hours after the auction she'd want to pull Brittany into a hug, to tell her to relax and stop worrying about saying the right thing when she knew her heart was in the right place, she would have laughed in their face.
But when Brittany had started babbling outside the fire station, a part of Santana had wanted to do exactly that, to put her at ease. Another, more dangerous part, she wanted to cup her face in her hands, let her thumbs brush over Brittany's bottom lip and find out if it was still the softest thing she'd ever touched.
Once, Santana had been addicted to those lips. One brush of Brittany's mouth against hers had been enough to make her blood rush straight to her head and groin. Her head would light up and the entire world would feel full of wild, wonderful possibilities. Brittany didn't just kiss with her lips; she kissed with her soul. Her kisses took Santana to places she could have never imagined on her own, creating worlds where nothing existed but the two of them, her touch, and the promises she made every time their bodies moved together.
But her promises had been lies.
Brittany S. Pierce had never loved Santana the way she loved Brittany. If she had, she couldn't have left the way she did, or spent the next fifteen years flitting from one man to the next like she was sampling ice cream and determined to try every flavor.
Brittany was thirty years old, and to Santana's knowledge had never come even close to settling down with anybody. She believed people could grow and change, but Brittany clearly hadn't. She was still the same careless girl she'd been back then, and Santana had zero interest in being friends with her.
Because you can't be her friend, not when you still want her as much as you ever did. Maybe even more.
Santana would have liked to deny it-to tell her inner voice to shut up and keep it's opinions to itself-but at that moment, Brittany appeared around the corner. She wore a black coat over a red dress, and black boots that skimmed down her kneecaps. As she moved down the sidewalk towards the entrance to the park, the last of the pale winter sunlight caught the golden blonde locks, streaks of sunlight in her hair, surrounding her in a warm glow that made blue eyes shine and red lips look so tempting Santana couldn't tear her eyes away from Brittany.
She was breathtaking, literally. Just looking at her was enough to make Santana's body go entirely warm and ache in her chest. It was the same ache she had from this afternoon, that longing to have Brittany pressed against her so tight she lost track of where she ended and began.
When she stopped a few feet away from Santana, looking up at her with a smile, Santana wanted nothing more than to pull Brittany into her arms and hug her hello. Instead, Santana gave a terse nod, and turned towards the entrance without saying a word.
She wouldn't even succumb to temptation, not tonight or any other night.
"Hello to you, too." Brittany said in an upbeat voice, obviously determined to ignore Santana's cool reputation. "Here, let me pay for the tickets." Brittany said, laying her hand on top of Santana's, stopping her as she reached for her wallet.
"I've got it," Santana cut Brittany off, voice flat as it had been this afternoon, hopefully giving Brittany no clue how aware he was that they were touching for the first time in fifteen years. No clue that even a brush of their fingertips was enough to make her heartbeat thump faster.
"Don't be silly, San." She said. "It's for charity. Besides, you're my date. The rules say I pay."
Before Santana could offer any other protest, Brittany slipped around her, stepped up to the ticket booth and began quizzing the attendant about various packages.
Beyond the booth, kids swarmed over the colorful playground equipment as couples strolled along the dozen of attractions that had been set up all over the fair. There were games, exhibits, local artists and craftsmen selling their wares, and best of all- a cluster of food of tents with delicious smells eliminating from them.
Santana spotted a teenage boy gnawing on a roasted ear of corn, and her mouth began to water.
As Santana accepted an obscenely large roll of tickets from the cashier-it would take them hours to play that many games- Santana's stomach grumbled in hunger.
Brittany smiled over at Santana over her shoulder. "So, food first, I'm guessing?" She asked with a laugh.
Santana shrugged. "I could eat." She fought the urge to return the smile. Brittany had always had an affectionate grin on her face, but Santana had been vaccinated against it. She was immune to her charms and refused to respond to Brittany with anything, but civility they'd agreed on.
"Great!" She said, keeping her enthusiasm. "Because I'm starving. I only had cookies for lunch, and they are all long gone. So what do you think?"
She paused studying the food vendor signs on the fence surrounding the soccer field where the refreshment tents had been set up. "The southern girl in me say a turkey leg ad cheddar mash potatoes, but my inner gourmet is curious about the Thai food. When did Lima build a Thai food restaurant?"
"Not sure." Santana shrugged.
Brittany pressed her relentless perky voice, "Have you been there?"
Santana, determined to not be drawn in. "No."
Santana would eat whatever Brittany decided on what they should eat; she would not make this fun for her by spending half an hour discussing about food. Santana knew how much Brittany loved these things, and she would not contribute to her enjoyment.
"Okay" Brittany started walking, forgoing the main path to cut through the grass near the fence, taking the shortest route to the entrance of the soccer field. "What are you in the mood for?" She asked.
"Don't care." Santana spoke dryly.
"You don't care.." Brittany repeated, irritation seeping into her tone. "Since when do you not care what you eat?"
"Since right now, Pierce. This is your show." Santana said.
Brittany stopped, turning to face to Santana beside the shrubs taller than the both of them. The shrubs blocked Santana's view of the picnic tables, which was good. If Santana couldn't see her friends or neighbors, they couldn't see her. The last thing she needed them to see was the ridiculous date they were on. Though in all honesty, they knew that would be hard to avoid.
Brittany spoke angrily, "What does that mean? My show?" She placed her hands on her hips dramatically.
"That means, you're calling the shots." Santana shrugged, "Pick something and I'll eat it."
"What if I don't want to pick something?" Brittany questioned Santana, feeling fed up with her attitude already.
Santana shrugged again, noticing her aggressiveness. "The we don't have to eat." She paused, "Whatever you want."
"I want you to stop shrugging," Brittany said with a long sigh. "I thought we were going to be civil."
"I am being civil."
"No you're not, you're being a jerk."
Santana forced a smile. "I'm not being a jerk, I'm just not giving you what you want."
Brittany's eyes narrowed at that. "And what is that?"
Santana rolled her eyes and turned to gaze across the soccer field, wishing she were anywhere but here, with anyone but Brittany S. Pierce.
"I'm serious, Santana. What do you think I want?" Brittany said tugging on Santana's sleeve.
Santana glanced over to Brittany, willing herself to not notice how pretty she looked with the evening breeze blowing her hair around her shoulders, and the chilly air flushing her cheeks a pinkish color.
"You want to write the script, like always." Santana said.
Brittany shook her head. "Not true at all."
"All you want is to breeze back into this town, be charming and get me to be your friend again. Be spunky until I finally give in." Taking the satisfaction on Brittany's face, she continued "And you're using these dates to force me to stick around and put up with it."
Brittany slumped her shoulders.
"And I don't remember you being interested in the kind of life a small town had to offer." She stood there crossing her arms and glared at Brittany.
"I wasn't.." Brittany mumbled. "But then, everything in my life fell apart. I realized this is the one place I felt safe and right." She took a breath, "And Lima, here is my home. I'm not leaving. Get used to it."
Santana's eyes narrowed. "Why, why now, after all these years?"
"This is a special place." She continued, "This is a special place where I want to start my family."
Santana's eyebrows lifted.
A family..
Was Brittany with someone? Was this mystery guy or woman planning to move to Lima, too? Were they hoping to get pregnant- was she already pregnant with some Hollywood pretty boy's baby?
The thought made Santana's scowl deepen. She didn't like the thought of Brittany having some famous creep's baby. She didn't like it one bit.
Brittany tapped Santana's chin softly with a laugh, pointing out her pout.
Santana fought the smile pulling at her lips and lost.
"There it is," Brittany said with a small chuckle. "I've missed your smile."
Brittany's sweet voice summoned a wave of longing inside of her so fierce and unexpected, it took Santana's breath away. She could play tough all she wanted, but deep down, she wanted to smile at Brittany. She wanted to laugh at all of Brittany's jokes and play carnival games until their throwing arms were sore and she really, really wanted to see if their hands still fit perfectly together.
But Santana couldn't, she couldn't do this. She couldn't relax and let her in. If she did, she'd be defenseless against Brittany. She was like that fifth beer on a Saturday night or the third doughnut Sunday morning- irresistible, but bad for Santana.
So bad.
"I have to go." She said taking a step back.
"Wait!" Brittany caught her hand with Santana's and held tight. "I'm sorry. There's no pressure to smile. Please, just, lets try to enjoy the night, And the other nights, too. If by the end of the last date you still don't want to be friends, I promise I'll leave you alone."
"No, no you won't." Santana said, the muscle in her jaw leaping as Brittany threaded their fingers together.
"I will, I promise." She said, eyes wide in her heart-shaped face, red lips parted in a silence invitation Santana wasn't even sure she knew she was making.
But Santana got it loud and clear, and she knew if she stuck around much longer she was going to take Brittany up on that invitation.
Santana was going to pull Brittany in her arms and claim her mouth with her own. She was going to cup Brittany's sweet ass- her favorite ass, the one that through her dreams when she went to bed aching and alone- in her palms and pull her up her own body until her feet dangled. Then she was going to kiss Brittany until her toes curled.
And chances where they wouldn't stop there. Chances were they'd end up kissing in her truck, then on her couch, then in her bed, and before she could say "My soul is willing, but my flesh is weak." Santana would be showing her all the things she'd learn in the fifteen years since she'd left, letting her lips explore every inch of Brittany's flushed skin, until she begged Santana to push her cock inside of her.
The last time she'd been with Brittany, she was a girl. Now, she's a woman, a woman with experience and a woman's self-control. It had been hot between them before, but Santana knew now it would be even hotter. She would be able to make her come in ways she could only have imagined at eighteen, to drive into her slowly, wickedly out of her mind with wanting Santana before they came together. Before she felt Brittany's body grip her tight and her nails dig into her back as they reached that place where there was nothing but Santana and Brittany, nothing but their breath panting fast and their hearts beating faster and faster and all the love they felt for each other lighting up the world, making it something better and beautiful than it had ever been before.
God, she loved Brittany. So fucking much.
The memory of it was so sweet it made her heart ache, and so sad it was hard to pull in her next breath because that was in the past, too far gone for it to ever resurrect. She couldn't be Brittany's lover, and she sure as hell couldn't be her friend. Right now she couldn't even stand within a foot of her former flame, not without losing the last of her own self-control.
"I have to go, Just.. Please, just please let me leave." Santana said, throat so tight the words emerged as a harsh whisper.
With that Santana let go of Brittany's fingers and walked away calmly and in control, even if-thanks to Brittany-her insides were a complete wreck.
A/N: You know what to do, please and thank you. Drop a comment, let me know what you thought of this chapter. Also again, I'm looking for a beta. PM if you have any questions. Hope you enjoyed, until tomorrow? Maybe ;-) Depends if I get any reviews, more reviews, quicker updates. As always, great thanks to all who have reviewed and followed/favorite my story and me as an author. Goodnight!
