Fear is a disease; hope is its only cure

Chapter 3

4 years later…

My body turns as, if in slow motion, the giant lizard throws a weak, meaningless punch into my direction. A smirk follows onto my face follow this as I can see the defeat clawing away in his narrowed eyes, the eyes I always wish to see closed when fighting these beasts. Trandoshans, creatures I hate with a burning passion of a thousands suns, maybe even more, they are the scum of this galaxy if I have ever laid eyes on them. Taking my left hand I quickly snap it at the scaled creature, his head jerks backwards as my fist collides with his mouth, half of his tongue flying onto the ground below; good riddance. The floor around us has blood spatter from his dismembered body part, this makes me only want more from him as my body starts to go into a blood frenzy. Taking my leg I raise it to his weakening knee and swiftly kick at it using my left leg to balance, swingin myself into a side swipe.

The giant mass falls over as if he had forgotten how to walk, his entire body going limp as he hits the ground, he has no energy left to try and stop himself from hitting the concrete. A metallic taste comes from my mouth, I spit it out on top of the creature as I kick his side more violently with each grunt he makes; his breath shallows. Our eyes lock as he begs me for mercy, his eyes are overflowing with tears, most likely fake ones, I sneer at his attempt of plead and spit at him once again; I laugh slightly. Taking up my leg, I tell him I will give him mercy from his pain, my opponent looks relieved for a moment before I bring my foot right down onto his head; a sound of breaking bones echos through my head. The creature stops suddenly, his hand comes limp from him holding it out to me in a thanking manner, I roll my eyes at him before spitting near his body once more; clean up would deal with this.

Bringing my blue eyes up to the crowd I see them all going wild and cheering at the execution of my performance, I raise my hands victoriously making them cheer louder; they were the approval I needed to win, not the actual win itself. Brushing off the slight dirt on my fighting uniform, I look back at the creature once more, the way his half tongue hangs out of his mouth gives me the indication that he is dead. I shrug at this thought, he was an opponent that had to be dealt with anyway possible, he should not have tried to go against me, it was as simple as that; kill or be killed. Jumping from the stage, the adrenaline flowing through my body begins to decline as the metallic smell of his blood vanishes from my sense of smell, my shoulder is a bit sore from where he had gotten the drop on me but other than that I am unharmed. I can see my master, Hondo Ohnaka, sitting on his overlooking throne, I make my way to him promptly.

"Master." I keep my voice tight, showing no emotion, as I bow to him. "I hope you were pleased with tonight's entertainment."

I see his eyes close behind his glasses. "Yes, yes very impressed indeed. Your latest trip to Zygerrian slave processing facility was a greater success than anticipated." My blood freezes in my veins at those words. "To prove your worth, however, I have a bigger challenge for you to face...the fight will bring us a grand profit. That is if you are to win."

"Ya, if you can win." I turn my head slightly to Hondo's first mate, my cold eyes resting on his as if looking into his soul.

"I would not question her ability in the ring if you knew what was good for you first mate. If she can take on a Trandoshan she will certainly have no problem showing you her skills in the ring." Hondo snaps at him, I was grateful for this remark. It makes me prideful my master believes I am useful and well educated in the ring. "Now, before I was rudely interrupted...yes, yes we will be going to a far away place to test your skills. Corecausnt to face a grand opponent!"

I look at him, a baffled look etched on my face. "Corecausnt sir? The place of the Grand Republic Army, Senate, and Jedi Or-"

I feel my head being snapped to the left, a sting is burning on my right cheek. "You dare question me child?" He spits at my feet, tears blind my eyes from the impact of the pain.

"No, no Master I am sorry. I am grateful you believe I am ready for this. When do we leave, I shall get ready immediately."

"Good, good because we leave tonight and will not be returning for a year, if everything goes as planned!"

I bow my head to him promptly before making my leave down the hall towards the slave quarters, my mind and heart racing from the words exchanged. I run a hand through my hand as I round the corner, my destination to the outside to see my friend one last time; the one thing to never have lost faith in me. I am very appreciative of my master, he has been so kind to me and believes in my ability by giving me better and bigger skilled opponents, always testing me in the best possible way; that is what he claims. I am always upset when I question him because I am just being a immature, idiot of a child who would be dead in a boneyard somewhere if he had not taken me in and taught me; nurtured me in a way. I open the door to the outside, squinting slightly as the sand around me kicks up, the slight rays of the pleating sun catching in my eyes. Making sure no one is around, I duck to the rock of the ground and begin my crawl into the depths of the junkyard, the last one I would probably ever have; at least for a while anyways.

Going to the makeshift door, I slide it soundlessly out of my way and turn on the old astrodroid who will probably never get to be used as he was designed. R7 looks around, dazed from being out for almost seven months now, my visits becoming more scattered and shortened, making him not able to use his memory board as often as he should. I pat his dome comfortingly as he regains his memory of what is going on, I give a sad smile to my little droid mate. "Hey bud." I say softly, patting his dome once more. "I have some good news, but I also have some bad news too." He beeps at me but I can not understand what he is saying, I probably never will. "Good news, you'll be able to finally test out your new legs I gave you, the bad news is I am going away from a long time, and you will need to leave this place." His beeps sounds like an outraged cry. "Listen it's not like I want to but my master wants me to travel with him, this is a big opportunity for him and I do not want to mess it up, he is like a father to me R7! I would be devastated if I upset him." I give my little droid a hug before patting him for the last time. "Now come on, I need to get you outta here."

The little guy beeps at me before following in my footsteps as I lead him through the maze of paths I had made to take snooping guards off my hiding spot for him; it has worked becasue no one has found him. My heart is beating wildly as I think of what Hondo will do to me if he finds me like this, he will definitely had me right back over to the Zygerrians again; this time I will probably not return home. Shooing these thoughts away, I make sure the coast is clear before pushing R7 out of the junkyard entrance to the side of the facility, to no man's land where no one ever goes to check the perimeter. Taking giant steps until we are completely out of sight, even if someone was to come looking, I give R7 a little shove to tell him to go off into the caverns of the planet; he gives me a appalled beeping noise. I flick my thumb and middle finger together in both annoyance and worry that someone would come and check out the sounds the droid in front of me in admitting from himself.

"R7 seriously?" I groan, my anger reaching point. "Listen, you are free, finally free of the junkyard and being kept in small confinement. Just for this year, until this time on the 18th of Welona next year, just stay in the caves and canyons and wait for me; shut down for the year if you want!" I give my little droid a pleading look, a lone tears in my eyes as I speak. "If I do not return for you in a year leave, leave this awful planet and go be what I had built you for, be an astrodroid and help a pilot in need. You don't want to be stuck here forever, that is my job now. Go with any pilot that will take you, go and fi-find Red." My heart breaks slightly at the sound of a name I have not heard in years roll of my tongue as if I had just spoken to him. "Find him and tell him an old friend sent him, and R7 you work hard for him and try not to get him killed please." R7 makes a beeping noise before turning to me and then the caves, back to me once more. "You want me-you want me to go with you?" He beeps happier this time.

I look out to the caves, the freedom and solitude that radiates off the miles upon miles of mazes that would be able to hide me long enough until I would be able to leave this place. My heart begins pulling me towards the dream I had long ago, I look down to R7 to see he had popped up something I did almost not recognize; the necklace my parents had given to me. The dream of wanting to find my parents and have them recognize me as their daughter and love me as though I was never gone floods through my head rapidly. My thumb traces over the worn metal as if had years ago, a slight spark of hope ignites in my soul as I look back out to the openness of the planet; I crush it down, fear overcoming me. "No. No I can not come with you." I put the necklace back into his compartment as if it was burning me just to look at it, let alone touch it. I turn my back slightly. "My place is here with my master as it will be until the day I die. Now please just go and never return." The droid beeps at me, but starts to trek on, I watch until he can no longer be seen in the horizon; the fight in my head still raging on.

My entire body spins violently as a cold, scaly hand squeezes the muscle out of my arm, the animalistic cry does not sound human as it comes from my vocals. "Well, well, what do we have here 'eh?" The tears in my eyes from the pain enable my capturer invisible but his voice crystal clear, my master; Hondo. "Trying to run away! This is unacceptable! You shall have no mercy for this treachery!" My breath catches in my throat as his hand goes from my arm to the familiarity of my throat, everything burns as my oxygen supply runs low.

"N-no Ma-Master I was-" His hand closes tighter around my vocal cords. "-n't trying t-to run away." Blood pounds through my skull as if my brain will explode at any minute. "I-I thought I hea-rd a no-ise." Even in my state of dying, I would not allow R7 to be found; Hondo's grips slightly loosens but remains firm. The tears fade slightly from my eyes, although cloudy the scenery has changed to a huge metal object; he had dragged me and I had not even known. "I-I am sor-soory I wou-ld neve-r le-ave."

To my words, he takes my body and throws me onto metal ground, I groan at my bruised body bounces slightly back; I slide down slightly. My body goes into overdrive mode as it tries to regain oxygen lost, my lungs pounding in my chest and heart racing beyond control. "Very well then, it is still unexcused but you do need to be in top condition if you are to fight." He strokes his chin as if thinking. "No food or water for two days!" I open my mouth to protest, the lack of food and water will surely make me lose in Coruscant. "Or maybe I will send you back to the training camp, yes yes I might just do that." My mouth instantly closes, my fears shaking me down to the core. "Now get up, I will personally take you to your cell."

I nod to his words, my voice lost, rolling onto my side. Everything is spinning as I slowly raise myself from the platform, the platform to the cargo ship we were going to take; one I was all to familiar with. This ship was the same as the one that takes me to the training camp, my body continues to shake as blots of images from the hell come back to me; everything continues to spin as I walk wearily with my Master. "Yes, yes everything is in order now, we shall begining take off soon!" My Master looks between the holding cells and cells of cargo, noting that everything is in accordance and well. We come to an open cell, one sole slave is beging roughly pushed in as we approach. "Ah yes, now my young children you are both my prized possessions so you will be treated like royalty until we arrive."

One of the men push me into the cell, the familiar buzz of the ray shield door follows. I fall to my knees from the shove, the men laugh but soon their laughter fades as they return to their tasks. I close my eyes, wanting the spinning to stop as my heart pounds and my stomach churns multiple ways in my body, everything feels as though it is being clawed away. Slowly I stand to my feet, my blurry vision clouding my cellmates face but I can tell from her outline that she is a Twi'Lek a creature I have faced many times. At least R7 is safe, I shake my head as the ship begins ts take off, hopefully he will listen to me and not do something irrational.

Hondo has kept true to his word, no food or water has been placed in front of me for two days but now I will not eat and it has been 5 days; the night we arrive in Coruscant. A guard stays by the door to make sure I eat and the Twi'Lek does not steal my untouched food; even though I never eat. Not that I would mind, my stomach grumbles in defiance as I watch her eat, she looks half starved herself. I begin my workout once more, my Master making it clear to me the consequences if I were to lose, not only would I be sent back to the hell hole but he would leave me there for two years time; the longest any slave would stay. My face reaches my knees and a shiver travels down my spine, I do not think I would make it back; I have not fully recovered from the last time I was there. Up. Down. Up. Down. The continuous motion of my body relaxes me as the adrenaline keeps me moving, my body running past the point of fumes; this will not be the first time today I have passed out; but I can not eat I must grow strong.

Up. Down. Breath. Up. Down. Breath. Up. Do- Cough. My rhythm breaks from startlement as the frail, soft cough seems misplaced. I look up to see the blue Twi'Lek standing over me rather awkwardly, she eyes, brown in color, show the sadness and misery of the world she has seen; she looks no older that 18. My face scowls slightly as she had interrupted me and she backs off almost immediately, some sort of pain warps in her eyes as I do this. "I-I apologizes, I was just going to offer you some of the scrapes I had hidden away." My brows furrow at her words, but I do not say anything just get up and walk back over to my cot. "I have noticed you fainting yet our Master does not force food upon you"

"Do not talk about him that way." I snap at her, she shrinks back, looking now like a 16 year old. "He is fair and just, he found me wandering looking as though I would escape, he is teaching me a lesson." I turn away from her. "It would be wise to not use his name as such or he might send you to hell and back." Visions of pain and suffering cloud my thoughts. "And trust me young one, you do not want to go."

"Kaia." Her voice is soft, almost as if I have heard it before. "Do you not recognize me?" There is pain in her words, I look towards her now at her face, vast recognition is all I can feel. "It is I Kaia, Ahsa. Remember?" At her words all I can see s a young girl with a spark in her eye and determination to escape. "I have grown yes but so have you, everything about you is different." Now I can see the resemblance, the spark growing in her eyes as she talks. "I have a plan to escape him, and I would like for you to join."

I shake my head at her, all the emotions I had had, slowly fizzling away. "No. No. No. This is who I am. This is who I have become a loyal fighter to Hondo and that is all I will ever be. He has molded me into something that I can never recover from." She tries to speak but I put up a hand. "I have seen more harm than good in this world, I have been to hell many times and each time I have survived but if I was to escape and taste freedom and be captured again, I would surely perish." I sigh, taking the small food she has tucked away and slowly bite into in, my taste buds numb. "Ahsa, I can not come with you, that I know, but please go through with your plan and run. Run until you can run no more. Please for me, run from this life into a life you can live and be free." Her eyes are saddened but her spark growing stronger at my words. "I will try to make everyone's attention on me but when you get the chance, do not think. Do not look back. Do not come back. If you do you will surely die." Tears spring down her cheeks as she nods. "My destiny has already been determined but you are so young, you can have a life."

Tears drop from her cheeks, a sight that would make me feel sad if I was younger, stronger but now they bring a sort of resentment into my heart. This is why I could never have a life outside of this, I was molded into something that I would never recognize as anything but a killer; a numb, psychotic killer. The ship surrounding us jolts slightly as we make our descent, my stomach turns with both anticipation and nervousness, every time I am on a ship I am brought to hell. Ahsa looks different as she stands straighter, determination brought into her eyes, into her soul as she knows this will be her last time a slave. Jealousy grows in me as I wish to have her spark again like I had years ago before that slime had first punch me bringing me down the path I stray further and further down.

"Ok you slime, get up," Hondo's first mate is opening the door of our cell. "Let's go, let's go I don't have all day for this."

We follow him, my feet almost dragging against the metal floors of the ship. Something felt off about where we had landed, as if an unforeseen event was about to take place. I shake it off though, my nerves and mental sharpness have to be prepared for what is about to take place. I have read about the Wookies in what studying time I was given, they are angry, violent creatures that can rip the arms off a mere human without increasing their heart beat the slightest; they are almost one of the most intelligent creatures. My back shudders involuntarily at the thought of losing this challenge, going armless into hell. I would never return, I would die a slave in the ring before I returned to hell; I would do everything in my power to be put down under this Wookie if I was not to win.

"Ah yes, my two most prized possessions." I bow instantly at the sound of his voice, Ahsa following closely behind. "Stand, stand my lovelies. You will both do me better honor making me a fortune tonight." His voice is honest, he have faith in us making him the fortune he has always dreamed about. "Yes, yes my best team of money makers. The one I place my bets on and the one to comfort the losers." Ahsa shivers, I scowl at her childishness. "Now, the fight will begin in less than 30 minutes so lets go, Kaia you know what to do."

I nod slowly and make myself as small as possible. It was an old trick I was taught by an old friend long ago. Make yourself look as small and weak as possible so the enemy underestimates your ability. My shoulders slouch making me look smaller and I cast my entire head downward, making it seem as though I was incompetent in my ability; as though I was just the bait before the fight. My body never felt right in this position, always clawing to make me stand bolder and tallet, less afraid and fearful as I was letting on; as if something inside was to proud to let anyone see me this way. If it was as proud as it was in these moments as it was through everything I would have the same spark as Ahsa has, the same boldness to fight and run to freedom or escape with R7.

"Are you ready?!" The voice in the center of the ring drives the outsiders wild. My body is shaking from anticipation as every nerve in my body is pumping with adrenaline. "Place your bets now folks, you have Kaia the human ooooorrrr Snoova the Wookie." Before me is a very hairy creature, something I have never witnessed before with my own eyes.

A grip of dead shakes my shoulder, "Remember do not disappoint me you worthless, pathetic pile of meat." Hondo's almost sweet voice has disappeared completely. "If you are to lose I will personally drag you to your hell and leave you there, you will never return and I will see to it they do everything imaginable to you until you suffer a death of pain and suffering. Are we clear?" His words had my heart pumping into overdrive, I can simply only nod; not even a whisper of a word is capable of escaping my lips. "You have been spared from my crew but I assure you I will be the first to ruin the only thing you have left to dignity on your pathetic body, so do not lose child or you will find a new definition of torture." My body freezes at his words, my face pales and my knees draw weak.

It was true, I had never been forced to lay with a man before; I was chosen to fight before I was pooled into doing such deeds. My virginity was the only thing Hondo has let me keep pure to myself since I was of 'suitable' age to start throwing myself at men. Having everything ripped, burned, clawed, and scarred on my body it is one of the things that I will never lose, it is a reminder to me that I am not truly as dirty and pathetic as I could be. Hondo sees my freezing as grips my inner thigh, my body shakes with fear as liquid builds in my eyes, he knows that is the one thing I truly have left to myself and his words ring not an inch of deception; I can not lose.

"You have been warned." His words whisper into my ear and I involuntarily shake as a single tear leaks through my eyes down my cheek, the salt stinging the wounds that have never been able to heal properly; almost reopening them.

My body is shaking to heavily for my brain to take control and throw the switch to fight mode, everything that usually would enhance my instinct is fighting against me making my stomach turn and churn with nausea. Get a hold of yourself, I try and scold, shaking my head only making the nausea worse. You will wi-my body is thrown down as a clap of thunder rings in my ears; my head bobbing from the pain erupting through. The hit had straightened me out as I look to see the hairy beast standing above me know, bringing it's hands together to slam into me. Fuck, I roll to the side just as it's hands slam into the concrete. Everything else blocks itself out as my pounding head dulls to the adrenaline flying through my system, not out of fear but anger and rage.

Leaping I land of my feet and get into fighting stance, arms raised protecting my throat and as much of my face as I can; feet bouncing back and forth as I circle the Wookie. Alright big guy, you got one lucky shot but that's the only shot you're going to get. Raising my foot I speedily crash it into the side of it's ribcage, pivoting it's body three feet to the right. Without break I take my right hand and smash into the bottom of the sternum, then bring my left knee up and into the crouching figures stomach; paralyzing for only 30 seconds or less. It's all the time I need to jump and bring my leg around it's neck and throw my body to the ground, bringing the beast down with me into a choke hold. It's claws dig into my side, fresh blood exploding through the air making my frenzy only grow; the pain I feel putting black dots in front of my eyes but I rapidly blink them away.

My leg gives some pressure from the pain and it's claws drag slowly down my sides to my hips, it seizes this chance to swing me around and throw my body into the corner of the pit. A crack echoes through the air as my two bottom ribs break from impact, my body limps slightly but the harsh words of my master roll over and over in my head bringing another wind of energy back. The Wookie charges, slamming its foot into my stomach, I puke up blood instantly not being able to keep down the inevitable. More spots cloud my vision as the pain, everything in my body wants to shut down and never wake up. NO! Something screams inside of me, something new a foreign takes over my body, as if I was never injured or in so much pain; I had more energy then ever.

With one swift movement I bounce from the ground, every bone in my body in sync as I take my knee and implant into the Wookie's temple. My fist locks into the stomach of this creature, taking my elbow after and ramming into its shoulder. An animalistic cry comes out from its mouth, but stops once my foot dislodges its jaw. It was like I was on a drug that made me feel invincible, feel as though I was immortal. The creature tries to claw at me once more digging it's huge claws into my leg, but I do not feel it as I had before; I simply feel a slight pressure that gives way as I take its arm and throw my down backwards and my leg out. A snap follows as I dislodge the shoulder all together making its arm limp and immobile.

My fists keep bashing against its skull, the single arm it has remaining pulling against my shoulder; I can feel it ripping out of my socket but continue with the use of my other fist banging repeatedly into the Wookie. Our breathing together becomes shallow as the energy depletes but neither of us want to stop, neither of us liking the consequences if we do. Using my legs once more I tighten them around the Wookie's neck, my energy supply that I was given running out but just giving me enough to do what needs to be done. Kill runs through my head in numerous forms, my veins burning as the poisonous word flows through them, pumping directly into the vessels of my heart.

Suddenly it was over, the clawing had stopped and the shallow breathing of two different souls becomes one, but I wouldn't let go. My blue eyes slowly enclose over the beast I have tangled in my legs, everything my master had said to me boils in my head know and I stop to think of what this creatures punishment will be; it is even has a master. My ears begin ringing as waves of noise over flood them, from my own heart pounding blood to the crowd surrounding me going hysterical. I scan the room, making eye contact with someone, I give a nod letting them know that this is their chance and they better take it while everyone is focused on me. Ahsa gives a small sad smile before slipping away into the cheers and boos, my heart stabs at itself with this unknown feeling I am overcome with.

BANG!

"Go! Go! Go!"

Smoke clouds over my eyes as an earth shattering explosion sounds above me. Rubble and debris shower down on me crawling into every open wound and making some of its own. Master! I discard of the unconscious body entangled below me and stand up. Chaos is erupting as men in white and red suits storm from all over, their weapons blasting at those who shoot back. Frantically I stand, jumping out of the pit, I try and search for my master but everyone is pushing my body down; a vision of a young girl screaming clouds my eyes as the smoke enters my lungs. Blindly I run, somewhere, anywhere calling out to my master for him to save me. There is another loud bang and my body is flown to one side, I collide with the ground instantly.

"Stand down you are hereby under arrest!" A voice rings in my ear as the weight crushes me.

"Master!" I cry out before a shock convulses over my body.