Frank opened the door to his house and quickly walked in, slamming the door behind him and backing up to where his back was pressed against it. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, deeply breathing in and out for a few seconds.
He and Gerard had continued conversing with each other for another hour or so, 10 minutes of that time being spent by Gerard talking about his fiancé. His name was Michael, and he was a doctor. Gerard said that he met Michael when he took a friend of his to the hospital after he broke a bone from falling down. Michael had been his friend's Doctor.
Gerard kept talking about Michael for a while longer, but Frank wasn't really paying attention. He remembers little bits and pieces, like that they began dating about a year ago and that they just got engaged only a couple weeks ago. Other than that, Frank doesn't remember anything else. He was too focused on the fact that Gerard was actually getting married. This was unbelievable.
He just never expected to hear it. After how long they were together, he never even imagined Gerard being with someone else, let alone getting married to someone else.
But who was Frank to be saying that? Gerard is absolutely free to be with whoever he wants, and Frank is happily taken as well, so why keep letting it bother him?
But, Frank gained something that night, something he wasn't sure if he really liked or not. He got Gerard's new phone number.
"Just to chat or hang out," Gerard told him while writing his phone number down. Frank has had the same phone number for pretty much all his life, and surprisingly, Gerard said he still had it in his phone.
How odd.
They both left the cafe with the promise that they would be hanging out soon. Frank wasn't sure if he could keep up that promise. I mean, he had a boyfriend to hang out with and Gerard had a fiancé to do the same with so why did they need to hang out with each other? Frank didn't really see the point in it.
He walked to his bathroom and took a long, long shower. He spent a lot of time just thinking. Thinking about himself, about Gerard, and about their past relationship.
After Frank met Gerard and spent a couple hours at the nurse before going home, Frank started talking to Gerard more and more. First, it started out as just little small conversations about music in the hallways between classes. Then it became longer conversations at lunch, spending time talking in the lunch line and on the way to their separate tables with their different groups of friends.
However, sometime during the second half of the year, Frank's math teacher decided that he was way too bright for the class he was taking and ended up moving him to a more advanced math class. This was a math that sophomores and juniors took. Guess who was in the class that Frank was put in? Gerard of course.
Having that class together brought them even closer than ever. At first, Gerard's friends ignored Frank, which Frank definitely didn't mind. But after a while, they got used to him and even started talking to him as well.
The math teacher in their class assigned a partner assignment that would last about two months. She let everyone choose their partners. Gerard chose Frank. This made Frank both ecstatic but also extremely nervous because the teacher announced that the only way to get the assignment done in time was by spending lots of time with your partner, working on it outside of school. This means that Frank would be completely alone with Gerard, not surrounded by other school students and teachers. It would just be them two. By themselves. Holy shit.
In the course of those two months, a whole, whole, whole lot went down between the two of them. Frank met Gerard's parents and younger brother named Mikey who was a sophomore, and Gerard also met Frank's parents. They became best friends, and before they knew it, Frank had totally and completely fallen in love with Gerard, but was constantly crushed at the fact that Gerard could never feel the same about him. They were together almost every day and even when they weren't together, they were texting. They told each other everything, including Frank telling Gerard he was gay and that no one but his parents and two friends knew. Gerard even became very touchy. He would always hug Frank and put his hands on his face, his back, his shoulders. He even tickled Frank, and would sometimes even lift him up and carry him around bridal style. These things always excited Frank, but his face would constantly turn as red as a tomato. Gerard never seemed to notice. They hung out together everywhere too. They would go to each other's houses, the library. They would travel to the closest beach they could get to and spend the day together there, and they would even go to parks and malls together. Frank loved every single second he spent with the guy he had fallen completely in love with. But sadly, he had to face the facts that Gerard could never love him back.
One day, nearing the end of the two months, the two of them were at Frank's house, hanging out. They had finished the project extremely quickly so they were completely free to just hang out together without having to worry about the project.
Frank was lounging on his own bed, reading a book, while Gerard was laying down next to him, completely concentrated on his comic book he was currently creating. He was extremely talented. Frank found out that Gerard's passion was to become a well known and famous comic book artist. Frank knew for a fact that Gerard would be able to do that, because his talent and passion were out of this world. Just another reason out of the many that Frank was in love with him.
After about thirty minutes of silence, Frank got up to go to the restroom. Once he came back, Gerard was sitting straight up on Frank's bed. He was still looking down at his comic book, but he wasn't really looking at it. He looked like he was zoned out. He also looked extremely tense and almost...worried about something.
Frank slowly closed the door, and walked back to the bed. Gerard didn't even glance up. He just continued looking down with that same black stare.
Frank put his hand on Gerard's shoulder, ignoring the fireworks that erupted in his heart at just the feel of Gerard.
"Gerard? Is everything oka- "
"Frank."
Gerard suddenly cut him off. His voice was firm, but also very soft at the same time. Something was wrong.
"Yes?"
For the first time, Gerard slowly looked up and finally met Frank's eyes. Those eyes. Frank wanted to be able to look into those eyes for the rest of his life. Every time he looked into his beautiful eyes, he got absolutely lost in them.
Gerard let out a long and shaky breath.
"I have to tell you something," he whispered.
He looked so nervous all of a sudden, but Frank had no idea why.
"Gerard, what's wrong? Come on, you can tell me anything. You know I wouldn't judge anything you do."
Gerard just kept staring into his eyes, but he slowly smiled. However, after a few seconds, he stopped smiling and he took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a couple moments and then opened them again, looking right back at Frank.
"Okay. Here goes nothing. At the end of this speech, if you don't ever want to seem me again, feel free to kick me out of this house. I wouldn't blame you if you did. But, okay here we go."
Frank raised his eyebrows. What the hell? Kick him out of the house? What was Gerard talking about?
Gerard slowly turned his whole body, to where he was facing Frank fully. He grabbed Frank's hands and intertwined their fingers. This wasn't new to Frank, though. Gerard always held his hands without being flirty about it or anything.
Frank looked down at their hands, squeezing Gerard's in the process to tell him he could keep going.
"Okay, so I'm gay. You know that, of course. But never have I really had any true feelings for another guy. I mean, of course I've looked at other guys and thought they were attractive. How else would I have found out I'm gay, you know? But never have I actually looked at another guy and thought that I'd really like to date them. Because to me, I don't want to date anyone unless they really mean something to me. I won't just date someone who is attractive or something. Anyways, I've never felt strongly about someone...up until a couple months ago."
When he said those words, Frank's heart felt like it exploded. Did he just say he's never felt anything for someone until a couple months ago? Well, he met Gerard a couple months ago. Unless Gerard met someone else and Frank was about to be heartbroken yet again.
"You see, a couple months ago, I met a guy who's a little younger than me. We became pretty good friends and when I started to realize I developed feelings for him, I was a little weirded out by it, mainly because I'm a few years older and I didn't want to look weird. But then, I slowly realized that the age part didn't matter to me. I've become best friends with this guy, and every second I am with him, my feelings for him just get stronger and stronger. I feel like I can really be myself around him and not be afraid of it. He brings out the best in me. So who cares about the age or what other people think? As long as I'm happy, that's all that matters. But Frank, I'm telling you all this because of one important reason."
Frank couldn't breathe. He felt so nervous, he was pretty sure he was sweating. What was the important reason? Well, he was about to find out.
Gerard looked down at their hands, slowly pulling his hands away from Frank's. He looked back up and just stared right into Frank's eyes, in complete awe. He slowly moved his hands up to Frank's face, cupping one of his cheeks with one hand and moving some of Frank's hair out of his eyes with the other. He then slowly ran the back of his fingers down Frank's cheeks.
Frank was absolutely frozen. The way Gerard was touching him, the way he was looking at him, it was the most intimate they had ever been. Frank could only keep staring right back into Gerard's eyes. He turned his body to where he was facing Gerard completely too now.
Gerard moved his face closer to Frank's, while his hands just kept stroking Frank's face. Finally, his hands stopped and just cupped Frank's cheeks.
Gerard leaned in even closer to Frank's, his mouth only a couple of inches from his mouth. Frank's mouth went completely dry. This was the closest they had ever been. Frank was actually looking at Gerard's mouth now.
Finally, Gerard spoke once more.
"I'm in love with you, Frank."
Frank actually whimpered. Those words. The touches he was receiving from Gerard. They were what Frank has been dreaming about ever since he first met him. For such a long time now, he has been waiting to hear those words from him and now he finally was. He couldn't believe it.
Gerard noticed Frank's silence and immediately backed off, taking his hands off of Frank's face but still keeping his face close.
"Please say something, Frank."
He looked at Frank with pleading eyes.
Well, there was only only thing he had to tell Gerard.
"I-I'm in love with you too, Gee."
The smile he received from Gerard had been the happiest and brightest smile he had ever seen, which was really saying something, considering Gerard was almost always smiling. But this smile, it lit up his whole face. He was breathtakingly beautiful.
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life, Frank. From the second I first saw you, which was way before the day we properly met, I thought you were absolutely gorgeous. I could never take my eyes off of you. I tried to find some reason to talk to you, but I kept thinking I was going to scare you off, so I never knew how to approach you. Then suddenly, one morning, you fell down on the floor and I knew that was my opportunity to finally talk to you. I was so happy the rest of that day. I found out that the guy who I found beautiful on the outside, was also beautiful on the inside. Then, when we started becoming closer and closer, my feelings were getting so much stronger. I just...couldn't go any longer without letting you know how much you mean to me. You mean the absolute world to me."
By that time, Frank had tears streaming down his face, and Gerard's eyes were starting to become wet as well.
"Gerard," Frank started, his voice extremely shaky and soft due to his crying.
"I've had the biggest crush on you ever since I first laid eyes on you. I wanted to talk to you so bad and I wanted to exist in your life, but I always figured I was a nobody, and that you would never know who I was. But when we first met and then started becoming friends...well, somehow your charm and beauty and humor made my crush turn into love for you."
Frank's hands were still sitting in his lap, but Gerard grabbed them and placed them on his shoulders. Frank gripped them and stroked his shoulder blades with his thumbs.
It was silent as they both just stared at each other, in complete adoration of each other, both knowing what was about to happen next.
Gerard moved his face even closer to Frank's, so close that Frank could feel Gerard's breath on his face. Frank wanted to grab him and kiss the hell out of him, never stopping. But he really wanted to take it slow, to savor it.
Gerard tilted his head to the side and questioned Frank with his eyes, asking permission. Frank closed his eyes in response. Gerard's hands cupped his face again and a few seconds later, their lips were pressed together.
All of the fireworks that were explained in the movies and books, those were real. They were erupting all around them. Frank's whole body was electrified by the power of that kiss.
Frank had never been kissed before, and when Gerard pulled his lips away, he feared he did something wrong.
But Gerard just looked at him with eyes full of desire now. They were much darker than before. Frank knew his must have been as well. Gerard gripped his face with more force than before, and kissed him again. This time, Frank started to move his mouth with Gerard's, deepening their kiss.
It felt so good. Frank never wanted it to end. But soon enough, they were beginning to run out of oxygen, so they separated, with their lips making a satisfying smacking noise. Frank's hands, which had still been gripping Gerard's shoulders, now moved to his back. He placed his hands on Gerard's shoulder blades, and slowly moved his hands down to his lower back. Gerard's mouth dropped open a little and he closed his eyes.
They both knew what they wanted. They wanted nothing but each other in that moment. Nothing else in the world existed.
This time it was Frank who dove back in, kissing Gerard with a lot more force and confidence. He moved his lips very fast now. Gerard caught on quickly, kissing him back with just as much fiery and enthusiasm. This time, Frank felt a tongue run across his bottom lip. He opened his mouth in response and Gerard's tongue entered his mouth, making Frank let out a loud and very embarrassing moan. Gerard abruptly pulled his mouth away from Frank's.
"Okay, if we don't stop now, I'm not going to ever stop and I don't want to take advantage of you in any way. Besides, I'm starting to get way too turned on and all we did was kiss. See the effect you have on me?"
His eyes were still lust filled, but he was now smiling, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Frank agreed with him, his heart pounding at the sensation of his first kiss being with the guy he's been head over heels in love with for months. He smiled at Gerard and ran his thumb across Gee's bottom lip.
Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank and then laid down, pulling Frank down with him. They both landed on their backs, but Frank's head was now resting on Gerard's outstretched arm. He turned onto his side, now facing Gerard.
Gerard turned his face and was now looking right back at him.
"I love you," Frank said while smiling.
"I love you, too," Gerard said in response.
The front door closed, snapping Frank back into reality. He had been in the shower for such a long time, thinking about that day he and Gerard kissed for the very first time. The shower water had even run cold by that time. Frank now realized how much his body was shivering. He quickly turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around himself.
There was a knock on the bathroom door.
"Frank? Hey, I'm home."
It was Andrew.
"Oh hey. How did it go with that crazy lady?"
Andrew loudly sighed through the door before opening it and walking right in. Frank was standing in front of the mirror, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. Andrew came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Frank's waist. He rested his chin on Frank's shoulder, staring at the two of them in the mirror.
"It was terrible. As soon as I came in, Emily just started screaming at me for letting her dress be ruined, as if I had anything to do with it. She made me go buy her a new dress and have it dry cleaned, oh yeah, with my own money. She said it was punishment for what I did."
Frank winced. God, that woman sounded like such an awful person.
"I'm sorry, baby," Frank mumbled, while brushing his teeth.
Andrew sighed again.
"It's a price I have to pay for choosing to work for that woman. Anyways, I'm really sorry for having to leave so suddenly at the coffee shop. But that man, was that a friend of yours? Did you get to talk to him?"
Frank's heart dropped. Well, how was he going to get himself out of this one?
"Um..yes. A very old friend."
Well, that wasn't a total lie. They were friends at one point...at an older time...that made no sense.
"Oh, cool. What's his name?"
"Gerard."
"Oh, okay. He was very interesting looking," Andrew said while snorting.
Immediately Frank tensed up and became defensive.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Andrew just kept chuckling and smiling.
"Well, I mean, how old is he? Late twenties, I assume? But that red hair? That's got to go. No one at that age can look good with hair that color, including him. I just thought that was funny, that's all."
Frank narrowed his eyes at Andrew.
"Well, what if I thought it liked amazing on him?"
Fuck. Why did he have to say that? Why did he even want to say that?
Well, he was only defending Gerard because they were friends and that's it. Yeah, that's all. Nothing more.
Andrew stopped smiling, completely.
"You thought that hair color looked good on him? Is your head feeling okay today, Frankie?"
He started to laugh again, only fueling Frank's anger.
"Shut up," Frank snapped at him.
He finished brushing his teeth and turned around, shoving past Andrew. He walked into the living room and Andrew followed him out.
"Whoa, what the hell Frank? What's your problem?"
"How about you stop judging others because you're definitely not any better than Gerard."
Frank stormed into their shared bedroom, and he laid down in bed. He knew he must've made Andrew angry by saying that, because he hasn't even followed him into the bedroom.
Frank heard the bathroom door close, meaning Andrew was most likely going to shower. Frank knew he was going to have to apologize for snapping at him out of nowhere, but it was going to have to wait for the morning because Frank's head was filled with way too many thoughts and he really just wanted to sleep on it.
Then Frank realized something.
He had actually snapped at his own boyfriend for making one comment about Gerard's hair. He got that annoyed and angry over one comment. Why was Gerard getting inside of his head so much?
Frank groaned and turned over, shoving his face into his pillow.
He knew one thing.
He knew for a fact why he was so bothered tonight. It was time to admit it.
Frank was sad that Gerard was getting married. He couldn't stand the thought of Gerard entering a permanent marriage with another man.
All of his memories with Gerard were still fresh in his mind, but to Frank, it seemed like Gerard has forgotten all about their memories and time spent together.
Frank closed his eyes, with the image of Gerard's smiling face in his mind.
Gerard was engaged and there was nothing Frank could do about it.
