Hi there everyone! I know that I have been leaving you hanging for a while but I have come out of hiding and put this up!
Disclaimer: All characters and all that good stuff belong to the wonderful Eric Kripke and thank you to the wonderful writers of this show because without you there is no basis for this stuff!
Swan Song
You know as I was standing in that cemetery in Lawrence I wasn't thinking that I was going to save Sam. I was there to die with him. Be there until the very end. As I tried to talk to Sam/Lucifer He wasn't too happy about that. Quite frankly he was annoyed.
"You know. I have tried to be nice." He started to walk toward me. "For Sammie's sake, but you are such a pain in my ass." He grabbed hold of the lapels of Dad's leather jacket and flung me straight onto the roof of the Impala; cracking the back of my head off the wind shield. That had me seeing stars. It took me a second to catch my bearings.
As he was walking forward I heard a gun fire. It was Bobby. He clipped Sam/Lucifer in the left shoulder and as he turned toward Bobby he fired off another round; straight through his heart. He looked down to the gapping whole in his chest and back up to Bobby's face. I Looked at Bobby and he had that "It was worth a shot" look on his as he shrugged his shoulder. Lucifer/Sam raised his left hand and twisted it as Bobby's neck snapped and he dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
"NO!" I screamed. This wasn't happening.
He turned toward me and said "YES." He grabbed my left leg and dragged me toward him and gave me his right hook. I was in shock my body just shut down. The blood pouring from my mouth didn't phase me. I was here for a reason. I turned around to look at him.
"Sammie? Are you in there?"
"Oh. He's in here alright." He pulled his left arm back again and his fist barrled on through and connected with my face again. The sheer force had me staggering on to the Impala for support.
"Ughh."
"And he is going to feel the snap of your bones." Bam. That last hit had me on the ground. "Every single one." He picked me and pinned me to the side of the car. "We're going to take our time." Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam." My jaw was numb. I reached out for Sam.
"Sam it's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here." I looked into his eyes, searching and hoping that he could hear me in there. "I'm not going to leave you." Bam. Bam. "I'm NOT going to leave you!"
As I lay there pressed up against my car and Sam/Lucifer pounding my face all I could think about was how I wanted it to be over. For Lucifer to beat me to death, so that I didn't have to witness Michael/Adam and Lucifer/Sam fight to the death. At least this way if Sam is the one that dies according to the "prophecy" and all that other bullshit those god-damn angles say I will be gone to.
I have dodged one to many bullets. I started this whole thing! I broke the first; I was the righteous man that spilled blood in Hell and for that, I am paying with what is left of my life.
If you can even call it that.
I was getting prepared for another blow as he raised his right hand to hit me his left held dad's jacket. Then all of a sudden he had this spaced look on his face. As if he wasn't there anymore. Like his mind was somewhere else. He slowly unclenched his fist and let go of his firm hold on me. He staggered back and he grunted. He was breathing heavy. I lolled my head in his direction and as we locked eyes I knew it was "my" Sam.
"It's okay Dean. It's gonna be okay. I've got him." Still breathing heavy Sam reached into his front jeans pocket and pulled out the Horsemen's Rings. He threw them at the ground and began chanting. Then the ground began to implode onto itself and the wind began to whirl as the hole began to suck it down under. Sam and I looked at one another. I could tell that he was terrified, hell so was I. I saw his goodbye in his eyes. He was scarred he was taking deep greedy breathes to prepare himself for the plunge. No amount of breathes was going to end this.
"Sam!" It was Michael.
Sam turned his head toward his voice stunned. I guess Cas was right. It was only going to stall him for a bit.
"It's not going to end this way! Step back!" his voice was raised to compete with the howling wind.
'You're gonna have to make me!"
"I have to fight my brother Sam! Here and now! It's my DESTINY!"
I watched as Michael tried to convince Sam to stay put. Sam wasn't hearing it. We had our final goodbye in a single glance. As he reached down within his soul to fight off Lucifer and he closed his eyes ready to jump in the hole. I could hear Michael scream "No" in the distance. But I couldn't take my eyes off of Sam. As Michael rushed toward him Sam took pulled him into the hole and they fell.
Together.
That hole reformed and a bright white light flashed before my eyes as tried to shield them. I lay there with my back against the car in utter defeat. It was over and I couldn't breathe. Sam was in the fucking cage! And there was nothing I could do about it. I could feel my throat closing and the tears welling n my eyes.
Cas.
Bobby.
Sam.
They were all gone and I was left here all alone. I was on my knees at the hole that is no longer there and picked up the rings. I felt a presence behind me then. I turned my mangled face toward it.
"Cas. You're alive?" He put two fingers to my forehead and the pain that I felt in my broken cheekbones and eye socket were gone. I was looking around hoping that this wasn't a dream.
"Cas are you God?" That was the only way I could explain the new super powers.
"That's a nice compliment. But no, although I do believe that He brought me back." He turned and walked away. "New and improved."
I was still astonished. I reached to touch my face and then I remembered. Bobby. Cas kneeled and did that juju thing he just did to me and Bobby was breathing again. I looked down at my hand and looked at those God damn rings. Hmm now what?
Driving away from the cemetery was the hardest thing I think I have had to do in a long time. Losing Sam isn't like losing your wallet or car. It's like losing a friggin limb. He was all I had left in this world. He kept me grounded. It's something in my life that was real. He was my brother. Is my brother. Now the question remains. What now? I looked over at Cas and asked him.
"Return to Heaven I suppose."
"Heaven?" Is he frickin' serious right now?
"With Michael in the cage I am sure that its total anarchy up there."
"So what? You're the new sheriff in town?"
"I like that yeah. I suppose I am."
"Well God gives you a brand new set of shiny wings and suddenly you're His bitch again."
"I don't know what God wants. I don't know if He will even return. I just…it seems like the right thing to do."
"Well if you do see Him, tell Him that I am coming for Him next."
"You're angry."
"That's an understatement."
"He helped" I scoffed at that bullshit. "Maybe even more then we realize."
"Well that's easy for you to say. He brought you back! But what about Sam? What about me? Huh? Where's my grand prize? All I got was my brother in a HOLE!"
"You got what you asked for Dean." Excuse me! "No Paradise. No Hell. Just more of the same. I mean it Dean. What would you rather have? Peace or Freedom?
To this day I ask myself that exact question. Was THIS all worth it? I had to have been for something. If hadn't have been for this I don't think I would have been standing at Lisa's door step again.
Ever. I had no business there. I was there because Sam asked me too. Right?
It's just Bobby and I now. Once there Bobby knew that I was gonna leave. I told about the promise I had made to Sam and that I intended to keep it. Bobby pulled me into a hug and we said our goodbyes. As I drove off I had it in my mind that I was going to do whatever it took to get Sam back. Or I was going to go on a suicide mission and be one with it. But I can't I had to do one more thing.
Knock, knock, knock
I could see her then, walking to the door through the window. It almost that evey time I do this she looks surprised to see me. This time It was different. It wasn't that she didn't expect me to be at her door step it was that she was surprised that I was alive.
The first thing to come out of her mouth was "Thank God." After all the bullshit that I have been through with that- I can't even be mad right now I am to numb to care. I realized that seeing her face and coming here was the only place I had to go to. The only place that was safe and warm for me to out my head down and forget.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah. Umm If it's not too late I think that I'd like to take you up on that beer."
"It's never too late." She had a smile on her face then and I was ready to fall apart. She motioned me inside and as I was about to cross that thresh hold I grabbed onto her for dear life.
"I lost him."
"Shh, shh, shh, shh. It's okay Dean. It's gonna be okay." I wanted to believe her so bad. I couldn't feel it. I could feel her arms wrapped around my neck and I search for solace there. I found it as the flood gates opened and I let it all go.
I wanted to go to bed that night, wake up to find that day had all been a bad dream.
I'm a Winchester.
What The HELL Was I Thinking?
Okay guys so I hope that I have done it justice! There a few more to come! Don't be afraid to hit that review button! :) Love Alisha!
