Shepard's POV

I could feel the tiredness leaving my bones with each full night's rest I got. My dreams had been very realistic lately. It was like I could touch him for real, in my dreams but the moment we did, I would wake up.

I could pull up with perfect recollection Thane and our time together. It was hard not to just spend a day reliving our time together. It helped me though, helped me push myself. Each dawn of the first sun I would search the city, looking in every crevice I could find to try and find a way off this rock.

I found a lot of dust, skeletons, but not much else. After weeks it got harder to stay objective. I did find a storage unit with some clothes in it that just fit. Eating regular had me putting on a little weight. I wandered around, trying to go a little farther out each week. After 3 months though my optimism had faded. I laid in bed thinking of Thane most nights. He was the only hope I had left in the darkness that seemed to be closing in.

I survived Saren, the reapers and the citadel to die on a distant uninhabited planet. I sighed when I heard Thanes words in my ears.

"I love you Siha"

I couldn't just stay here and wait to die.

"I love you too Thane. I promise, I won't give up"

I said to him as if he was there, as i got out of bed and left to go look some more. That's when I had a sudden flash of brilliance. What if they didn't want their ships found? Maybe I should stop searching the big buildings and look for a home of an officer and pull his logs.

I looked for the apartment building to the nearest to a militarised building. It took a few days but I finally found a high ranking generals apartment. But the sheer amount of logs he had were... Well this would take awhile. Every day though Id come and listen to the logs until I couldn't keep my eyes open.

After the first three days of journals it was pretty apparent that protheans were assholes. I took a break for a little while and walked across town to the beach.

I took off my worn boots. The warm mid day sand felt awesome on my feet. I walked to the water and sighed as the cool water washed over my feet. I closed my eyes and let the breeze roll over me. I could feel the stress melt away.

"Good afternoon Siha"

I gasped and turned around looking for him. The words sounded like they were spoken right into my ear. I smiled at his voice. The fact that I was hearing voices, was disconcerting. But if I'm going crazy, but there are worse ways to go than hearing the voice of the person you love. At least it was his voice and no one else's.

I turned back to the ocean and relaxed looking to hear his voice again.

"I miss you Thane" I said to the voice as tears slipped from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

"Do not fear, I will wait for you Siha"

I sighed and smiled sadly. I missed him so much. It hurt so badly to be without him. I knew the nanites wouldn't last forever so I had to find him if it was the end of me so be it. I went back to the Journals with renewed vigor. There had to be something. I grabbed a stack of them and went home to my little pad. I curled up in bed and started listening to the logs.

I put the last one down from the stack I grabbed. Nothing yet. I made the trek back towards the generals apartment. I grabbed another stack and was about to head out but there was a big black predator, eyes locked on me. It was big as a varren about was built like a panther. It had two rows of teeth and 4 paws full of claws.

I dropped the datapads and backed away. Suddenly it vannished. I flipped out my omni blade and put my back to a wall. I waited. Suddenly it's weight hit me and I braced. It was powerful but my omni blade seared into its chest. It slid away a clawed paw cutting into my leg. It was no flesh wound. I tried to watch for the cat. He flickered into being licking its wounded chest. I crouched and it growled at me as I moved toward it. It then pounced and I lept at it and plunged my blade into its chest. It let out a dark piercing sound. It's claws lashed around both my arms as a last ditch effort, but soon went limp. I shoved the creature off and to the ground. My lungs screamed for air and my heart threatened to break from my ribcage, it was pounding so hard.

I say down for a moment to take account of myself. The wounds on my shoulders were deep but nothing that wouldn't heal on their own. One cut on my hip though, would need to be stitched. I applied some omnigel to my wounds and grabs my data pads. I glanced at the animal for a moment before making my way slowly back to the apartment.

Once back I pulled out my first aid kit I'd put together, just in case. I bit down on a dowel of wood. I careful cleaned the wound, then was the hardest part... I started to stitch it closed. I bit down hard on the dowel, I felt like I was going to break my jaw. My vision faded after the 5th stitch. I panted with the pain of it and started again. I screamed as tears ran down my face, my jaw ached from the force. I continued until the wound was crudely, closed. I leaned back in the chair and everything faded away.

I awoke a few hours later, my neck sore, but it was the chills that had awoke me. I shivered violently as sweat poured from my pores. I crawled to the bed, I checked my leg, the sutures still intact and though red, were not infected. I was apparently have an adverse reaction to something to do with the injury. perhaps a venom of sorts? I couldn't think clearly as the fever ravaged my body. I curled up trying to feel warm as I shivered.

I closed my eyes trying to focus on anything but the chills that rolled through my body. Nothing worked as I finally opened my eyes.

There he was. I looked around unbelieving for a moment.

"Siha" he whispered as I laid there shivering. Great, now I was hallucinating. Seeing him there made my heart ache.

"Thane", I whispered back wishing he really was there... he reached for me and I moved away. I'd had the dream enough to know if we touched, he would disappear. His face saddened as I shivered again.

"You are sick", he said trying to reach for me again. I sank away once more, glad to have something, someone to focus on that wasn't this awful fever.

"Yes but it is only temporary, it's the cost for being alive", I mused.

"Alive." He said, his voice trailing off. It was strange but it was like the word was less a statement and more of a question.

"Yes" I said a little unsure why my figment of my imagination was questioning me being alive... His eyes looked up, something, there I couldn't quite pin point. He reached for me unexpectedly and he was gone again the moment his hand touched me.

I sighed and shivered again. I closed my eyes focusing in on Thane, trying to think of him again. Trying to think of the moments we had together, to somehow take my mind off of the fever.

My laughter filled the air as I ran down the beach, Thane in hot persuit. I ditch and dodged through the sand. The ocean waves crashed in as we chased one another. I ditched, but this time he jumped and we both tumbled to the ground laughing. It was nice to get shoreleave somewhere nice for once.The shores were void of people, it was just us today. Thane smiled down at me. My hand reached up to touch his face, he gently leaned into my hand, his eyes closed. So I leaned up to place a kiss on his lips. One of his sand covered hands touched my face as he kissed me back. If bliss were a place it would be right here.Another violent shiver pulled me from the memory and I sighed, it was going to be a long night.