Author's Note: TOTALLY didn't mean to go almost a whole week without updating! I'll make it up for you by posting a few updates this week. On the other hand, I DID post two oneshots for your reading delight this week, so I guess you can forgive me (and two more oneshots are in the process of being halfway done, with a few more plot bunnies forming as we speak!). ;)
As you'll see from this chapter, I simply couldn't resist the idea of bringing back those silly audio tapes from "Luke Can See Her Face" (best scene ever, by the way!). I'm not sure if there is a hard copy version of what the guy is saying in the tapes in addition to the audio version, but for the sake of this fic, we'll just pretend there is. And April's and Luke's relationship progesses maybe a little quicker in this chapter than they do in the series, but hey, it's my story now. ;)
In this chapter, I also give a shout out to New Moon (NOT the Twilight book!), my favorite magazine when I was April's age. It's all about teaching girl power and has lots of articles written by young girls and features where they can write in about growing up and sexism, so I though it would be appropriate that April read it too (I have to admit I miss the times when New Moon was only a magazine and a cycle of a moon! Sorry, Twitards, don't hate me there).
And fyi, I still don't own Gilmore Girls. At the very least, I wish I could own Paul Anka...but I don't even own him. :(
P.S. Lauren Graham quote of the day: "These people are so dysfunctional. Why don't they just make out already?" (Yes, I've been watching more interviews on Youtube again)
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Chapter Three
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Luke and April arrived at the Dragonfly at around twelve the following afternoon, just in time for lunch. "Hey!" said Lorelai, as she saw both of them, from where she was waiting on the Dragonfly's porch. "You guys are in luck, cause I got someone to take over my shift, and I get to spend a whole few hours committed to you."
April's attention was instantly diverted to the furry creature besides Lorelai. "Is that your dog?" she said eagerly, bending down to pet him. Lorelai grinned as Paul Anka stuck out his tongue and responded to the girl's petting.
"Yes, that's Paul Anka. I guess you don't know who Paul Anka is?" April shook her head. "Well, he was this singer, who became popular in the 50's and 60's. I really used to love his music when I was younger. Paul Anka was actually a rescue, and his real name was Coco, but it just didn't seem to fit him."
"Definitely not," said April, rubbing his belly. "He's a Paul Anka, through and through." April gave Luke a quick glance. When she looked back at Lorelai, she had an impish grin on her face. "So what does this Paul Anka look like, anyway?"
Lorelai was confused by the impish tone in April's voice and the way Luke was glaring, but she assumed it had to do with April's eagerness to hear about a cute member of the opposite sex. Lorelai could not help smiling as she launched into her description. "Well, he's much older now, but he was definitely quite the looker in his younger days. Brown eyes…a nice sculpted face…brown hair…" Her grin grew wider, as she remembered a Paul Anka poster she had put up in her room, back in the day.
"Oh, brown hair," said April, seeming thoroughly interested by this. "You mean like Luke's?"
Luke sent April another withering look; Lorelai's heart pounded quicker, realizing she had no idea what was going on with them. "Well, uh, yeah, kinda like Luke's, only his eyes are brown, and your dad's are…blue." Noticing the way April's eyebrows had raised, Lorelai said quickly, "I don't usually bring Paul Anka around, anyway. It's not exactly good behavior for an inn owner to bring her dog along, and I'm sure if Paul Anka had been around the day I got interviewed for the article-not that I actually had Paul Anka at the time or anything-the article would have never been written. But Michel-he manages the front desk with me; you'll meet him, he's quite a character-has been bringing his chows here, and they keep making all this trouble, so I brought Paul Anka to show him what a well behaved, normal dog looks like. Aren't you, boy?" she said to the dog fondly, who wagged his tail in delight.
Luke stared at her. "A well behaved, normal dog? Lorelai, that dog is afraid of peas!"
Lorelai could not resist smiling, and she glanced at April, eager to see how the twelve-year-old had taken in this new information. But to her further surprise, April did not seem to have registered this. In a tone that was genuinely curious, April said, "So how tall is this Paul Anka, anyway?"
"Well, actually, he's only five-six or something," said Lorelai, grimacing. "As you can imagine, that put the damper on my fantasy when I was younger…I literally outgrew it, you could say."
April nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, I know it's sexist and traditional, but I think it's very important for a woman to be with someone at least a few inches taller than her or at least the same height. Being a tall woman, you seem like you would go best with a tall man." She glanced at her father. "How tall are you, Luke?"
Luke gave his daughter a long look before answering. "Six foot."
"And I guess you're about five-nine?" April said to Lorelai.
When Lorelai nodded, April said, "See, six foot, five-nine, those are the perfect heights there. Only three inches in difference, and about the same height in heels. If you could find someone six foot"-April gave a slight glance in Luke's difference-"then I'd just stop looking."
Luke was glaring at her. Glancing between the two, Lorelai had the distinct feeling she'd missed an earlier conversation between them-though what, she was not sure she wanted to know. "So, uh, April, I never pegged you for a Cosmo or Teen Vogue girl type," she said.
April wrinkled her nose. "I'm definitely not. I've only picked up a few of those magazines when the doctor's office had nothing else, and though it is an interesting commentary on the female sex, I prefer science magazines or New Moon." She grinned. "Those writers of New Moon would hate me if they knew I was having this conversation with you. It's a really feminist magazine, you know-I actually submitted an abbreviated version of my lab report to them, but I haven't heard anything back yet."
Lorelai was just about to ask something else, but Luke gave her a warning look, and she decided it would be best not to risk it.
Lorelai showed April around the Inn, and the three of them-four, counting Paul Anka-made their way to the stables. April especially enjoyed seeing the horses, whom she claimed were much prettier in person. After that, they decided to get some lunch. Although Lorelai offered not to come, since she was still wary of stepping over Luke's relationship with April, April was very adamant that she joined them, especially as Luke and she were spending some alone time together after lunch.
It was when Lorelai took a sip of her coffee and commented that it was nothing like Luke's that April turned to her father. "You know, you haven't told me the story of how you guys met," April said. "You said you were going to."
Lorelai's attention was immediately fixed. Ever since the past day, she had been racking her mind, trying to remember Luke's and her first encounter. As hard as she tried, she still had not been able to come up with anything. It seemed like Luke and his diner had always been a part of her daily routine.
Lorelai forced a smile. "Yeah, Luke, I'd love to hear you tell it. Was I on one of my famous coffee rampages?"
Luke hesitated, but both Lorelai and April were looking at him now, and he seemed unable to resist. "Okay, okay. I guess I could tell you." He took a breath. "It was at my diner, it was a very busy day, and the place was packed. I was just serving a table when this wild eyed woman comes tearing into my place in a caffeine frenzy…"
As Lorelai listened, the story began to come back to her, little by little. Mia had told her about the new diner in town, and she had been eager to try a cup of what Mia had insisted was the best coffee. She had recognized Luke from various town events, but that had been the first time she had talked to him. Although she had enjoyed the banter between them about the coffee, she had never guessed then how close friends she and Luke Danes would eventually become.
Luke finished the story with something she had forgotten about-his horoscope. "So I'm looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under 'Scorpio,' she had written, 'You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away.' I gave her coffee."
"But she didn't go away," April and Lorelai both said softly.
Luke smiled distantly. "She told me to keep the horoscope in my wallet and that someday it would bring me good luck. But yeah, she definitely didn't go away."
A long pause settled between them. "Wow," said Lorelai finally, "I, uh, can't believe you remember it that well. I mean, it's kinda coming back to me, but you…you should become a professional storyteller or something. That was really good." A new thought occurred to her, and Lorelai was surprised by how nervous she felt. "Did you keep the horoscope and put it in your wallet, like I told you to?"
Luke looked uncomfortable. "Uh, no. You know I don't believe in that horoscope crap."
"Oh," said Lorelai softly. She was surprised by how disappointed she felt, even though she knew she should have suspected as much. "I guess horoscopes are kinda silly, when you think about it. Don't you think, April?" she said, hoping the budding scientist would be able to help change the subject.
April, however, only shrugged her shoulders. "I do agree they're rather ludicrous," she said, "but under circumstances…well, it was a really nice story."
The awkward moment was interrupted by Sookie, the only person Lorelai had told about April besides Rory and Christopher. "Here you are!" she said brightly, carrying their plates. "Since I know you, you get special deliveries, fresh from the chef!" She frowned, seeming to realize how none of the members of the trio were looking at each other. "Am I interrupting something here?"
"No, of course not," said Lorelai quickly, and after a slight tilt of her head towards Lorelai, Sookie set down the plates. Lorelai, April, and Luke dug in, and the subject was dropped.
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Things were especially quiet on the way back to the diner. It was only when the diner came into sight that April said timidly, "That was a really nice story you told about Lorelai."
Luke parked his car, but did not turn it off. As he saw the intent way April was gazing at him from behind her glasses, he knew he wasn't going to be able to keep up this charade any longer.
"Yeah, well, it's too bad it took me telling the story for her to remember it," Luke muttered.
April shook her head. "No, I think you really got her at the end. It was only the whole thing about you not believing in horoscopes that bothered her." She glanced at Luke again. "Why haven't you asked her out before now?"
Luke sighed, as he thought about how he was going to explain things. "Lorelai Gilmore has always been…unattainable. I was attracted to her the first time I saw her, but I was still getting over another girlfriend, Rachel, and Lorelai was always so preoccupied with Rory. I had no idea we'd become so close friends or that someday, she'd be the first person I'd turn to with the news I had a daughter." He glanced at her, eager to see how she'd take in this new information.
"But...?" April prodded.
"Well, I guess the timing was never right. Even when she wasn't dating someone, Lorelai was always so charismatic, so full of energy, and me-well, I do better when I'm by myself." He forced a laugh. "I was kinda afraid you'd like her better than me at first. But there were so many times Lorelai was dating someone, and it wasn't until recently that I came to terms with how serious I was about her, and Lorelai just never seemed to look at me that same way."
"She might not have then, but I've seen the way she looks at her now," said April. "When I was talking about the sexual tension between you yesterday, I didn't just mean your feelings for her. Just because she's dating Rory's dad doesn't mean she doesn't feel anything for you. I bet if you tell her you like her, she'll dump him for you."
"April, it's not just that," said Luke, trying to find the right words to explain the situation to a twelve-year-old girl. He cleared his throat. "The thing is, even though I've realized now that your mom wasn't right for me-and I wasn't right for her-I did love her, at the time. And I really thought I loved my other girlfriend, Rachel, too. But while I don't regret having relationships with them…especially your mom, or else there would have never been a you…there was a lot of pain from them as well. If Lorelai and I were to get together, we'd have to stay together. The town's too small, and I don't want to lose our friendship. I can't stay with Lorelai unless I know things are going to work out between us-permanently." The word "permanently" shook Luke, as he imagined being married to Lorelai, but he put this aside.
"You mean," said April slowly, "for all these year's Lorelai's been…a fantasy."
Luke let out a breath. "Yeah. A fantasy."
He made a motion, as though to open the car door, but April touched his arm to stop him. "You know, when I was with my uncle figuring out the lab results, I found this self-help book he had, back from when he was single and trying to find the right woman," she said quietly. "I thought it was ridiculous at first, and I told him so"-April rolled her eyes, and Luke laughed-"but he made me read some of it, to give it a chance, and I guess it did help him meet my aunt, so it can't be all that bad. Anyway, there's this quiz I remember some of-well, actually, I remember all of it, because I have a photographic memory-that could maybe help.
"It's this exercise on fantasies," she said, tilting her head at him meaningfully. When he made no effort to stop her, she continued. "I listened to the cassette version too, and the guy's voice was really obnoxious, so listening to me should be less annoying."
In the same way as Luke had before beginning his story, April took a deep breath.
"Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see her face? Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see her face? When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? Do you see her face? When you're in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? Do you see her face? When something wonderful happens in your life-a promotion at work, a successful refinancing-who do you want to share the news with? Do you see her face?" Although April had vowed not to become as corny as the cassette tapes, she still spoke with exaggeration at the next words. "Whose face appears to you, my friend? Whose face?"
Luke was so taken aback that he did not even laugh at the comic expression on April's face. Though he still found the idea of self help books ludicrous and stupid, he wondered for the first time whether he would have been a different person had he bought one of these self help books or tapes a few years ago-before Liz's wedding, perhaps. Indeed, it had been Lorelai's face he'd seen during April's words…Lorelai, whose blue eyes had shone at him.
He'd definitely fantasized Lorelai before, as was especially evident by the continuous dreams he'd had about her lately, but that had all they'd been. Fantasies. In the nine years since he and Lorelai had met, he had had many absurd fantasies about being Rory's stepfather and getting Lorelai to stop drinking coffee, on account of her pregnancy with his baby (or babies, as was the case in that dream Lorelai had had about carrying his twins). Still, he had always pushed aside these fantasies, because he wasn't sure that things between him and Lorelai would work. For the first time, Luke wondered if perhaps things would work out…that Lorelai really was a fantasy that could become a reality, after all.
"You really did keep Lorelai's horoscope, didn't you?" said April quietly, startling him out of his thoughts.
Luke swallowed, his voice now rough. "Yeah," he said softly. "I did. Actually, it's in my wallet right now."
April grinned, pleased with herself.
In spite of his revelation, Luke's mind fixated on something else that wasn't quite adding up. He couldn't help himself; he was curious. "Hey, April," he said, as April continued to smile, "I'm, uh, really glad you're in with me on this, and you're the only one I've ever really told about my, uh, feelings for Lorelai, but I'm curious. How come you know so much about this? I mean, no offense, but you're twelve-years-old."
April took a long time to answer. "Well, you're my father," she said finally. "It's still new, but you are my father. And I like Lorelai. I think you'd be good together."
"Well, yeah, you've said that, but that doesn't answer my other question. How did you know so much about this in the first place? Don't tell me you were listening to your uncle's tapes and reading the hard copy because you had a premonition this would happen."
April looked out the window of the car, now tense. "My uncle made me."
"And…? April, I'm not dumb. You've given me a lot more relationship advice than just that."
April clenched her jaw. "It was for my mom," she said finally. "I thought maybe I could help her."
"Oh…" said Luke. April's arms were still crossed. "Well, uh, April, what's the big deal with that? You were trying to help your mother; that was a nice thing of you."
"It wasn't just for her," said April, looking down at her knees now.
Luke peered at her. "No?"
"No." April let out another deep breath. Finally looking at him, she said, "The reason I did so much research before was because I really wanted to find someone for her, and…I thought if she did get married…well, I've always wanted a dad."
Luke was filled with emotion at that moment. All at once, he found himself engulfed in memories of Rory; how he had watched her grow up over the years, how fond he had become of her, and that nagging feeling that had sometimes unexpectedly run through him, as he wondered what it would be like if she was his own.
"Well, I guess we have something in common then," Luke said quietly, surprised to realize how much he meant the last words, "cause I've always wanted a daughter, too."
April looked at him, surprised. "Really?" she said, and he nodded. "But…I thought coming to you…I didn't expect anything; not really. After Mom finally got the story of my experiment out of me, I told her how uncomfortable you were around me, and that I didn't think you were married and had any kids, and she said she wasn't surprised. I guess you hated kids when you were with her or something-she even said she'd probably have told you if you hadn't made all those remarks about kids at the time."
"April, that was who I was thirteen years ago," Luke said, a lump rising in his throat. "I guess you could say Lorelai and Rory changed me in more ways than one, because after I got my head around everything, I was so, so excited about getting to know you."
"Really?" said April, her face now guarded. "You're not just saying that?"
"I swear, April," said Luke softly. "I'm so happy I have a daughter."
An uncharacteristic sob escaped from April. She looked embarrassed when he looked at her, but he did not give her a chance to dwell on that for long. Instead, he reached across to the car seat next to him and kissed April on her head. It was April who initiated the embrace. And for the first time, Luke allowed himself to really believe in a future of starting a life with Lorelai and having more moments like this, with more kids of his own.
"Thanks for not being too freaked out by me," said April, breaking away so that she could look at him.
Luke smiled. "No, April. Thank you."
He knew he meant that in many more ways than one.
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Later that evening, Lorelai ran into Luke towards the front of Doosie's. "Hey," she said, looking at him. "How was the rest of your day with April?"
"It was really good," said Luke, and indeed, he seemed more relaxed and enthusiastic than she had seen him since finding out about April. "I let Lane and Caesar take the rest of my shifts, and we went up to my apartment, and April showed me this book she had on polar bears. I'm actually buying some celery, peanut butter, and raisins for her. I don't know when she's coming back, but I want to be prepared. Bugs on a log are her favorite."
Lorelai smiled, but did not correct him.
"So, what are you doing here?" Luke said, looking her over. "Don't you have a date with Christopher or something?"
"Yeah, but I have a headache," said Lorelai, holding some aspirin she'd grabbed. "I just wanted to grab this first."
Luke looked unsure of what to say, so she said, "You know…long day. Michel's really been on my case for taking so much time off lately, and I guess bringing Paul Anka wasn't such a good idea." She forced a smile.
"Yeah," said Luke. "Maybe not."
They stared at each other for a few moments, each unsure what to say, until Luke cleared his throat. "You know, Kirk let it slip that Breakfast as Tiffany's or something is playing at the movie theatre next. Audrey Hepburn's not really my thing, but, you know, I'm sure Rory and you have referenced that movie at some time or another, so I was thinking maybe you'd like to go to it…and that maybe if you were going, I'd stop by and see if I like it."
Lorelai's spirits rose. "That's great! I don't think they've played Breakfast at Tiffany's since Rory was a little girl." She smiled. "God, that brings back memories."
Luke was still watching her. "So, you'll be going?"
Lorelai shrugged. "Yeah, I'd like to. Well, I'll have to convince Christopher, but I should be there."
Although Luke's expression did not change, Lorelai must have said something, because she could feel a change in the air between them. "Right, you'll have to check with Christopher," Luke said. Removing his gaze, he glanced up and down the aisles. "Well, uh, I should probably find the celery and the peanut butter and the raisins now. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," said Lorelai, feeling a little dazed. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Luke nodded and disappeared into the aisles.
She wanted to say something else, but she was not sure what to say. She could still feel Luke's gaze on her, though she was sure she was imagining it.
Sighing, she went to the cash register to pay for her aspirin.
