Chapter Four
"Hope?" Mom says when she, Dad, and Mark walk in with, Angel, Collins, Mo, and Joanne trailing behind them. I don't answer. Just close my eyes and pretend not to notice.
"She's outside," Maureen says motioning to the window. Mark walks past the phone and sees the red light flashing on the answering machine.
"And apparently not very talkative," he says as he presses the button to listen to the message I know none of them are expecting. I wonder if they realize I can hear every word they're saying. At this point, Mom, Angel, and Collins have all sat down on the couch, Dad is back in his and Moms bedroom putting things they bought away, Mark is by the phone, and Maureen is raiding the fridge while Joanne tries to get her to come sit down.
"Maureen, come here," Joanne says. "We have food at home you know."
"I'm starving," Maureen replies. "And you guys have nothing," she says looking at Mom who only shrugs. While Maureen is talking they miss the beginning of the message but they know who it is when they hear him say test results.
"Roger, come here!" Mom yells.
"What?" Dad says when he walks out of the room.
"Shhh," Everyone says.
"I'm sorry to tell you that the results came back positive." Mom puts her hand brings her hand to her mouth and tries not to cry. Angel puts her hand on Mom's shoulder to comfort her, but she pulls away.
"Meems," Dad says walking over to her, but mom pushes past him and walks into their bedroom. Dad stands for a second trying to figure out which way to go.
"Talk to your daughter," Angel says. "I'll go talk to Mimi." Dad nods and walks out onto the fire escape. I turn around and pretend I haven't been watching them.
"She's crying isn't she?" I ask. Dad walks over and sits down next to me.
"Hope," he says. "Your mother and I made the choice to keep you knowing that it could affect you and the way you live, but we've always hoped it wouldn't come to that. She's just upset." I turn and look at him. A few tears run down my cheeks and he lifts his hands up and wipes them off with his calloused thumbs.
"I can't help feeling that I failed you guys," I say.
"You know this isn't your fault Hope."
"But that's the thing. Isn't that what I'm supposed to be? Your hope?"
"You always will be. No matter what."
"Dad, I'm scared."
"I know," he says. He puts his arm around me and kisses me on the cheek. "I know."
After a few minutes of sitting there Dad tries to get me to come inside.
"Come on," he says. "Let's go inside."
"Can we not go inside? Ever."
"Hope come on it's freezing," he says standing up.
"But everyone's in there and they all know."
"Yes everyone is in there which means it will be very warm, and may I point out that half of the people in said room know how you're feeling right now."
"Hope, I'm cold," He says rubbing his arms.
"Fine," I say standing up.
When we get inside everyone looks at me. I notice that Mom is back on the couch again. When she sees me she comes and hugs me and I can't help but cry.
