Unbroken Promise
A/N: The reviews made me get my things together and write a couple of chapters. I think there's like one or two chapters before the end. I don't want to write without a good plot. If you have any ideas let me know. Also, I plan to always have one chapter ahead of the one I'm posting that way I hope to not fall behind. Updates won't always be this quick, this is just to show you that I will continue the story.
If you guys want to know what it sounds like to Kate with her hearing aids check on my profile, I've posted a link that helps you understand hearing loss and what it sounds like.
This is Jonah's first year of life and how Kate adapts to being a deaf mom. Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review.
They struggle at first trying to adapt to having a newborn in the house. It's especially challenging for Kate who's still not used to their new adapted baby equipment. The baby monitor vibrates and records video but Kate hasn't been able to get used to the whole vibrating principal of the device.
"It is no use!" She says, defeated.
"Kate, give yourself time it's only been a few weeks. You'll get used to it." Castle tells her.
She sits on the couch and picks up a baby book. She flips through a couple of pages to try to see if it were normal that the devices weren't working for her.
Alexis comes over later that day claiming the need to spend some quality time with her brother. "I just miss him so much." She pouts looking at Jonah who's sleeping soundly in his crib.
"Why don't you stay here overnight and tell us how that goes for you?" Castle mocks.
"No, it's okay I'll just stay with him when he's being a good boy." She picks up a bear from the side of his crib. "Hey, you guys put the bear I got him in his crib."
"He loves it already." Kate signs.
That night they're in bed after putting Jonah down to sleep (even if they knew he'd be awake in a couple of hours) and decided it was time for them to talk.
"Kate," He pats her shoulder.
"I think we should teach him sign language." Castle tells her.
"Rick, he's a month old I don't think he's capable of understanding hand movements." She says.
"I mean, not now but I read in a book that we can start signing to him when he's 5 months old to get him used to the idea of it."
"Okay." She says before resting her head on his chest.
It scares her sometimes when she's lying down in bed with her eyes closed because she's so unaware of what's happening around her. All she hears is a little ringing and it scares her to death. As an NYPD officer she was always on her guard, using noises to spot danger.
She was vulnerable now. She wasn't the same Kate Beckett. She wasn't a detective anymore. As much as she loved staying home with Castle and Jonah, it was driving her crazy. She needed to work; she needed to help bring closure to other families.
She doesn't know how long she'd lie there thinking but the vibrating of the baby monitor pulls her away from her thoughts. She looks over at Castle whose still sound asleep and hasn't heard his own baby monitor yet. She pulled herself out of bed and went to Jonah's room.
"Hey there baby." She smiles as her son and picks up the crying baby.
"Are you hungry?" Jonah stops crying once he's in his mother's arms. She sits down on the rocking chair Castle had gotten for her and begins to feed him. She hums to him and tries to imagine how it will be like a few years from now.
She wonders if she'll have her hearing back by then.
She finishes feeding him and keeps him in her arms for a while until he falls back asleep.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat
And if that billy goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over,
Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover
And if that dog named Rover won't bark
Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
She puts Jonah back in his crib and goes back to her own bed. Sleep invades her almost immediately: she's exhausted.
Her appointment with the audiologist had been pushed back to March after she'd given birth to Jonah. They thought it would be best if they adapted to having the newborn before making them come in to test the aids.
There's a small breeze outside and they've dressed Jonah for his first outing. It wasn't exactly the kind of outing they had both hoped to remember if they would have been under normal circumstances. But for them, this was the best first outing they could think off.
Kate might be able to get some form of hearing back.
Jonah's been sleeping through the nights by now. He still wakes up for the occasional feed but Castle and Beckett are glad to get some more sleep.
A few weeks ago, Jonah had started trying to lift his head when they'd put him on the ground. It amazed Kate to interact with her child. "He is growing so fast." She'd said one evening while going through the clothes that didn't fit him anymore.
They're in the car and Kate looks around. She might be able to hear around her after this appointment. She might be able to hear her son gurgle and laugh.
She's seen him smile and Castle has tried describing to her how it sounds but she just doesn't know how it would feel to actual hear him.
They wait in the waiting room and Jonah looks around, fascinated with all the colors around him. He tries to kick and move his arms out in its direction.
"Kate Beckett." A woman signs to the waiting room. Castle gets a firmer grip on his agile son and takes Kate's hand. They make it to a small room and the woman tells then that the doctor will be with them shortly.
"Are you nervous?" Castle asks her. She nods.
Doctor Ukelia walks in the room and welcomes the new parents. "Wow, he's adorable." She signs to them. "What's his name?"
"Jonah." Kate tells her which makes the doctor smile.
"Now, we have the behind the ears hearing aids like we talked to you about in our last appointment. It won't bring your hearing back to normal but it'll amplify the noises and it'll help you locate sound and understand speech a little better. You'll have one for each ear." She explains to them the basics of the aids and gets Kate seated so they can try them on.
Jonah tries to reach for his mother and Castle takes his bear out of the baby bag and gives it to him. He tries to reach for it and smiles proudly when he sees his mother.
"He's adorable." The doctor tells them.
She places the hearing aids in Kate's ears and they wait as she gives them further instructions. "I'm going to put them on now, okay?"
Kate's nervous at first. It scares her not to hear a thing but now, the fact that she might be able to hear some things again it scares her even more. She's lived in silence for so long she doesn't know if she's ready for such a change.
"Okay, put them on." She whispers.
At first she doesn't feel any different. There's still no noise around her, no one is moving or speaking. They're letting her adjust.
"How does it feel?" Castle asks.
It takes her by surprise. She puts a hand to her mouth and she tries to fight back the tears. Nonetheless, she lets out a small laugh and it amazes her. After almost a year without hearing, she's able to hear some sounds. It doesn't sound like the Castle she used to know, his voice is disoriented but it's close enough. She can make out what he's saying.
By four months, Jonah amuses himself. Kate and Castle would be in the living room wondering why it's so oddly quiet in their son's room until they go in and see him playing with his hands and feet. "What are you doing buddy?" Kate asks picking him up from his crib.
He mumbles in baby talk and grabs his feet with his hands. It brings tears to Kate's eyes. She can hear him. It might not be perfectly clear but she can make out her sons babbling.
"What's wrong?" Castle puts his hand around her waist. She turns around until they're face to face. "It's happy tears." She tells him.
They're about to kiss until Jonah starts laughing from his crib.
Kate turns around and picks up the baby. "You silly boy." She chuckles and kisses her husband.
"I love you." Castle says as he signs. "Both of you."
And they're happy again.
Later that week, when Alexis comes over to visit her family they're awed when they see Jonah roll for the first time. He's on the floor, surrounded by pillows, blankets and his big sister when he rolls over on his stomach.
"Dad! Kate!" Alexis screams in the house. "He's rolling!"
For Kate and Castle, the fun has just started. Jonah is in his fifth month of life and starts being fascinated by everything around him. He's sitting up on his own, something that had scared Kate at first.
"He's sitting!" Castle had exclaimed before their son had fallen backwards into pillows they had surrounded around him.
Jonah had cried almost instantly and Kate, who could briefly hear her son's wails, had picked him up and he'd stopped crying. It wasn't until a few days later that they'd realised Jonah would cry when they would leave the room to have them come back and pick him up. He'd also figure out that if he'd raise his hands his parents would pick him up.
They've started signing to him as they speak. He watches his parents as they sign and it amazes him. Castle is convinced he'll start signing back to them within the next few months. "He's going to be a genius!"
Jonah amuses himself by throwing everything in his reach on the ground either to see where it lands or to watch his parents pick it up. It's mostly Castle who does the picking because he hears the object fall but whenever Kate sees it, she picks it up and watches her son laugh.
The following month, Jenny and Ryan announce that they're expecting a baby. Esposito, Lanie, Ryan and Jenny had come over to the Castle's for a dinner. They hadn't seen each other in a while and they all wanted to see how much Jonah had grown.
They were aware of the fact that Kate had aids but it seemed a lot more real when Kate had started communicating more when they would talk. Lanie had learned a bit of sign language but not enough to formulate complete comprehendible sentences.
"Castle has made progress." They laughed, referring to Castle's amelioration to signing.
Jonah has moved on from crying to using his hands to show what he wanted. Castle tells them it's because he's learning sign language but Kate just tells him it's normal for a six months old to find a different way to show what he wants.
"No, I still think it's the sign language." It makes the table laugh.
Jonah, who's in his high chair, tries to join the conversation by babbling away vowels or squealing. "Seriously, he's just too adorable." Jenny says as she babbles back to him.
They've made it a habit to read Jonah a bedtime story while signing. The little boy is tucked in his crib as Castle invents him a story.
Castle is away for most of his son's seventh month of life on a book tour. He's just published the next instalment to Nikki Heat and Gina had almost forced him to go on that book tour.
"Jonah and I will be fine Castle." Kate tried to assure him. Alexis would come live with them for the next month because they still weren't sure about leaving Kate alone with him. Even if she was his mother and she was capable of taking care of him, the fact that she couldn't hear worried everyone. What if something happened and she couldn't hear it? They wouldn't risk it.
Jonah's two bottom teeth's had started growing and he'd developed some separation anxiety. Not having his dad around everyday affected his sleep pattern. He'd wake up, crying and once in a while Kate would bring him in her own bed to make sure he was safe.
In the morning, Alexis would spend hours playing with her little brother. It intrigued her to watch him play: he was learning the relation in-between the objects surrounded him. He had also grown a very big attachment to his bear: he wouldn't go anywhere without it.
Jonah has started responding to his parents with hand motions: he's picking up on some signs. Kate enjoys spending time signing with him as he tries to copy his every move.
When Jonah is eight months old, it becomes hard for Kate. Jonah has decided exploring the act of standing and crawling and sometimes, when Kate has her attention turned around for just a few seconds he'd crawl away.
When Jonah has his first fall Castle isn't there and Kate doesn't hear him. She's thankful to have had Alexis with her. Alexis had heard her little brother fall and had gone to him immediately to soothe his sore head. He grew a little bruise and Kate hated herself.
That night, when Jonah had been tucked into bed, she lay awake in her own bed debating how she could be such a horrible parent. She knew it wasn't her fault but it was still hard to accept that she couldn't protect her child completely without having someone there to help her.
Castle comes home a few days later, glad to finally be with his family. He thanks Alexis for staying and she says, "It's my pleasure. I missed this living here and I got to spend some quality time with my brother."
Castle talks back to his son in the morning and they have normal baby conversations. Jonah is sitting in his high chair eating baby cereals when he mumbles "Mama, mama, mama."
Castle is stunned at first, he knows Jonah probably doesn't know the meaning of the vowels he'd just repeated but it didn't matter. To him, Jonah had said his first word. Mama.
"Kate, Kate!" He exclaimed and she walked into the kitchen.
"He's saying Mama." He signs to her. She sits in front of her son and, with her hearing aids on, tries to formulate what he's saying. She can hear his voice but she knows it's not the same.
She's fighting back the tears, "All I hear is mumbling."
It's been a year and a half since she's lost her hearing. Jonah is 9 months old by then and he's started to walk.
They had been sitting in the living room when Jonah had grabbed onto the couch and walked towards the TV. It had taken both of them by surprise and Castle had searched for his phone. They had a part of it on tape and when Alexis, Martha and Jim came over the following night they'd shown them the video.
In November they decide to go up to the Hamptons. Jonah is able to communicate with his parents through sign language and baby babbling. Kate is happy, she has a way to communicate with her son. They've formed a bond.
"He's just like you." Kate tells her husband when they're sitting on the beach.
"How come?" He signs to her.
"He's so social. We went for a walk earlier and he tried to talk to birds and then he met this little boy his age and he tried to be his friend." She signs back.
When they come back into town, Jim babysits his grandson for the first time. Kate and Castle get to spend some time alone and it feels different. It's the first time they go out without their son. Castle tries his best to hold out from calling his father-in-law to make sure Jonah is okay.
They only end up calling 14 times.
First, Beckett and Castle go for a walk in central park. Kate tries to adjust to the sounds surrounding her. It's different, she can hear car honk and she can make out people talk around her. They stop in the middle of the park, near the lake and she turns around so she's facing him.
"Thank you Rick, for everything." She signs. She inhales and says, "I love you."
After their walk they go to the restaurant, where Castle had made reservations for them. Kate enjoys the moment more than Rick does: she focuses on him. She doesn't hear around her, her attention is on her husband.
They come home to find Jonah and Jim fast asleep on the couch.
They pick Jonah up and tuck him into his own bed. The toys are lying all around the house: they figured out Jonah had had a lot of fun with his grandpa.
By the time Christmas comes around, Jonah has become a handful for his parents. He'd started testing the limits of no. He's communicated even more with everyone and he's started to catch on to some words. Signing has become a normal way to tell his parents what he wanted, when he wasn't able to say it out loud.
He walks on his own by then and Castle amuses himself by chasing his son around.
The whole family is gathered around the Christmas tree along with Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Jenny (with her growing belly). Alexis is there with her boyfriend, Pi that she'd met in Costa Rica.
When Jonah turns one, it's hard on Kate.
Years ago, her mother passed away on this day. She mourns her mom's lost but she's grateful to have her son with her.
It amazes her, though, how far they'd come along in the past year. She's happy, Rick is happy and their son is delighted.
She's thankful to be here.
