YO! I'm back!
I have chosen the partner and it's... (Drumroll please)...TOBI!!
Think about it! Two playful guys with great prankster minds! Together they could DESTROY THE WORLD!!! (add evil scientist laugh here)
Enjoy!
Konoha
'Where are you Naruto?' were the thoughts of our favorite broody Mr Uchiha Sasuke, who was currently sitting on top of the Hokage monument watching the sun set.
--Hokages office--
Tsunade was currently drowning in paperwork when a knock came on the door.
"Come in." she said, relieved that someone came to save her from dealing with her worst enemy. And in stepped team 8 with downcasted looks on their faces.
"We couldn't find him Hokage-sama. We followed his trail until we came to a clearing where we saw signs of battle but there the trail ended." Kurenai said sadly as Tsunade was on the verge of tears. "We found no blood though." at this Tsunade brightened up a little.
"So that means there's still a chance he might be alive." she said as she breated a sigh of relief. "You are dismissed."
"Hai, Hokage-sama" they said in unison and walked out the door. As soon as they had left Tsunade reached for a floor board and underneath it was... SAKE! Lots and lots of sake!
Needless to say, she was in for one hell of a hangover.
Forest
Itachi sat down underneath a tree (He seems to do that alot) "Naruto-kun. No doubt you are stronger than us but we still need to work on your chakra control and teach you a few techniques before you can join our ranks." he said while chewing on a piece of Pockey.
"Yeah, you can't just rely on brute strength in a battle dude." Kisame said sternly while reading a book labeled 'Sharks: Kings of the ocean'
"And why is that?" Naruto asked sitting crosslegged, still tired from yesterdays events.
"For example, if you battle a long range fighter and don't have any long range jutsus. Who would win?" Itachi said pulling out 'Icha Icha Tactics' and began reading.
"The long range fighter... I knew that."
"Then you know why you need to learn some long and mid range jutsus."
"Yeah..."
"Well! Let's get started! I'm gonna make you the best fighter that ever walked this earth!" exclaimed Kisame while pumping his fist into the air.
"Yeaaah... We're gonna start off with chakra control. Learning to control might even make it easier to control your metal." Itachi said looking up from his book.
"So what are we going to do?" Naruto asked while backing away from an overly excited Kisame. "I already know tree climbing and water walking." he said as Itachi got up and took out two kunais and stuck them to the ground (sharp edge up). "You are going to sit on these whitout cutting yourself."
"What?! How am i supposed to do that?!"
"Using chakra. Quite simple really. But hard since there are no tenketsus in your ass so you have to consentrate harder." Itachi said as he flipped his book open and sat down.
"This is going to suck isn't it?" Naruto asked turning to Kisame.
"Big time!" Kisame exclaimed and grinned.
"Just great..." Naruto said and tried to focus chakra to his ass and sat down.
It took him a whole five hours and a whole lot of pain in his ass to get the control exercice. Poor Naruto could only sleep on his stomach that night.
1 year later; Konoha
Uchiha Sasuke sat with Kakashi and Sakura on the Hokage monument where they sat once a week and watched the sunset right next to a memorial in Narutos memory. Sakura had realized what a humongous mistake she made after she was slapped out of her fangirl persona by Sasuke and Tsunade took her in as an apprentice after the girl deeply apologised for what she had done. (Sorry all you Sakura bashers but i just can't bring myself to stay mad at this girl. She's too cute.)
"No sign of him anywhere... do guys think he's okay?" asked Sasuke.
"I don't know Sasuke... I hope so. I want to apologise to him." said Sakura while staring at the ground.
Kakashi, who had the decensy not to read his smut, said nothing. He just stared at the sunset deep in thought.
'Naruto. I'm sorry. I failed you as a sensei. Maybe if i would have berrated Sakura everytime she talked down to you she wouldn't have snapped like that... Maybe if i actually tried to teach you something and not push you away she would have thought higher of you.' were his thoughts as he looked back at all the times she hit him and insulted him. He was snapped out off his stupor by Sasukes voice.
"Kakashi-sensei we're leaving. See you tomorrow." He said as he walked away with Sakura.
"Yeah. See ya." said Kakashi lazily. 'If you come back i'll make everything right again Naruto.'
'Itachi. If you've done something to him i'm going to rip off every one of your limbs and give you a slow and very painful death.' were the thoughts of our third favorite Uchiha (Favorite: Itachi Second: Tobi!(coughObitocough)).
Clearing in forest; just outside yet another random town
"You've progressed nicely Naruto-kun. I have nothing more to teach you." said Itachi with a hint of pride in his voice.
"Yeah dude! I can't think of anything else to teach you either." said Kisame with ALOT of pride in his voice.
"So does that mean i can join you guys now?" said an excited Naruto.
"Yep! We just have to get to our base and give you your clothes, hat and ring." said Itachi as he started walking away from the clearing.
"Do we have to leave now?" Naruto asked kind of disappointed.
"Yes. Why?"
"Well i kinda promised Akira-chan that we would have some 'fun' when i got back." Naruto said with a perverted blush. He had grown into quite a womanizer over the year after creating an infertalizing seal, making him temporarily infertil, that he could remove if he wished.
"What, that waitress at the café?" asked Kisame with tears in his eyes. "I'm so proud of you dude!"
"Too bad, because we will leave now." said Itachi as he started walking away. He was still mad at Naruto for stealing a girl from him two months earlier.
"Party pooper." said a pouting Naruto.
"Yeah. You'd think that he'd gotten over that bartender girl in Tanzaku city by now." Kisame said while following Itachi.
"Yeah."
Konoha
Yuuhi Kurenai could be seen sitting in front of Naruto memorial deep in thought. 'Why do i care so much? I didn't even know him. Yet it hurts. Damn it! How could this happen? Me! The Ice Queen of Konoha falling in love with a teenaged boy! Wait! Did i just say falling in love?' She was very confused.
1 week later; in front of a mansion in the mountains
"Here we are!" exclaimed Kisame
"..." Naruto stood there looking at the mansion "...Woah..."
"Yeah, i know awesome isn't it?" Naruto could only nod.
"Let's go inside." said Itachi as he opened the door and walked in with Naruto following closely.
After walking around for about 15 minutes they finally got to a room with eight figures standing there all sporting the same robes.
"Aah. Naruto-kun how nice of you to join us." said a person with alot of piercings, the same hairstyle as Naruto and the freakiest eyes Naruto had ever seen.
"I think introductions are in order. I'm Pein." he said and then pointed to a blue haired woman with origami in her hair. "This is Konan."
"Hello." she said quietly.
"Hidan." Pein said and pointed at a guy with a crazy expression on his face and blond hair. "What's up fucker."
"Kakuzu" A man with a mask and freaky eyes merely nodded.
"Itachi and Kisame you already met." Itachi just closed his eyes while Kisame gave a little wave.
"Deidara" A guy... or maybe it was a girl... nodded and added a "Hn"
"Sasori" Here a hunched over guy raised his head and nodded.
"Zetsu" A guy with a Venus fly trap covering his body and half of his face black smiled and waved.
"And Tobi. He's gonna be your new partner." Here a guy with an orange mask ran forward and started shaking Narutos hand.
"Yo! I'm Tobi! What's your name?"
"Umm... Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto said startled by his speed.
"Oi! Leader told me to take you to your room where you'll find your clothes and shit." said Hidan and started leading Naruto towards his new room.
"This house is awesome!" exclaimed Naruto after ten minutes of walking.
"Yeah i know. And it's nice and quiet away from prying eyes." said Hidan while nodding.
"Yeah."
"Here's your room shitface. A map of the house is on the wall so you don't get lost. Welcome aboard." Hidan said and walked away.
'Crazy guy!'
"Yeah... Go in there and try on your new clothes Kit"
'Okay' and with that he wlked in and saw a room that was not a room. No, it was more like that luxury suite he got in the first hotel he visited with Itachi and Kisame.
'Woah... This is awesome!'
"Indeed" and with that Naruto started walking around inspecting the "room" and putting on his new clothes which consisted of a pair of black ninja pants, a black sleeveless turtleneck muscleshirt, a pair of black ninja sandals, a black robe with red cloads on it and a rice hat with white strips hanging from it.
Five minutes later Tobi burst through the door scaring the shit out of a sleeping Naruto and making him fall out of the couch.
"Dude! I just thought of a great prank to pull on Kisame! Wanna come?" he asked as Naruto picked himself up from the floor.
"You're a prankster?" Naruto asked and Tobi nodded.
"One of the best!" he exclaimed proudly while pumping his fist in to the air.
"Awesome! I think we're gonna get along just fine dude. So what's the prank?" asked Naruto excitedly.
"Well it involves 'whisper whisper whisper'"
An hour after that Itachi and Kisame were just walking around aimlessly when they were knocked out and dragged away by our two master pranksters.
When Itachi woke up he was in a dark room but he could see Naruto and Tobi stand there chuckling and when stood up he saw Kisame sitting passed out and tied to a chair with a beartrap like metal device attached to his crotch.
"Oh good. You're awake. Don't want you to miss this now do we?" said Naruto and pulled out three plain white ANBU like masks. "Here put these on." He said and gave one to Tobi and one to Itachi.
"Why?" Itachi asked.
"Because we don't want Kisame to know that we were the ones that did this to him." he said and slapped Kisame awake.
"Whassgoinon?" he asked hastily when he noticed that he was tied up.
"Well Kisame-kun. he said and took out a remote and pointed at the metal device "Attached to your crotch is a modified that closes when i press this button." he said and pointed at a button on the remote.
"What? What do you want with me?" Kisame asked sacred out of his wits.
"We want to play a little game with you Kisame-kun." Naruto said with a maniacal voice. "If you win the game, your free to go but if you lose... i'll press this button."
By now Kisame was nearly pissing his pants.
"Here we go." Naruto said and looked down on Kisame.
"You have one second to ask for pizza." he said.
"What?" was the answer.
"Too late... GAME OVER!" Naruto yelled and pressed the button.
At that moment the all villagers of Konoha stopped what they were doing and cringed as they heard the pained screams of one Hoshigaki Kisame.
Konoha, another year later
Naruto and Tobi had become the worlds most feared Akatsuki members with their assassinations of 13 daimyos, defeating the Hachibi no Yamata and the destruction of Takigakure no Sato (Hidden Village of Craftsmen) and news of Naruto joining the Akatsuki had spread to Konoha resulting in the council,surprisingly, marking him as an 'S' ranked capture on sight missing-nin and the rookie 12 training even harder than they did before so they could be strong enough to bring him back to Konoha.
Appareantly the majority of council had changed their views on Naruto after his speech to Neji and beating Sabaku no Gaara because surely the Kyuubi would not fight his demon brother Shukaku like that. Thus resulting in the capture on sight instead of kill on sight marking.
Naruto and Tobi were also feared in the Akatsuki for their pranking. Dangerous pranking. Kisames crotch still aches by the way. They were known throughout the world as 'The Legendary Prankers' and individually Naruto was called 'The Kiroii Arashi' and Tobi was known as 'The Masked Shadow' with flee on sight orders in Iwa, Kumo and Kiri.
Though the Rookie 12 were shocked to hear that Naruto had joined the Akatsuki they were also relieved that he was still alive and well. Kurenai was happy that he had finally got what he wanted. Being recognized by the villagers. But she was sad that he had to go and become a missing-nin for it to happen.
'I hope you're happy Naruto-kun' she thought as she observed a picture of Team 7 that she got from Kakashi. She told him about her feelings for him one night when he found her sitting infront of Narutos memorial.
Meanwhile in Wave country
"Hmm... The Great Naruto Bridge... cool!" said Naruto as he looked at the bridge where he fought the battle he would never forget. His battle with Haku.
"Dude... what did you do here?" Tobi asked as they crossed the bridge.
"Well i.." he started but stopped as they saw a huge gold statue of Naruto with his body full of senbons pumping a closed fist into the air. "Woah..."
"It says someting here." Tobi said as he crouched down to read a plaque in solid gold. "It says: Uzumaki Naruto, a young man who changed the hearts of the villagers and helped wave prosper once again. Dude! That's awesome!"
"Yeah i know! I'm just cool like that." Naruto said and admired the statue for several minutes until he heard the sound of a genious' worst nightmare and Narutos favorite crowd.
"FANGIRLS?!" yelled Tobi as he watched the crowd of girls, age ranging from 15-30 years old, come running towards them.
"Oh yeah." Naruto said with a perverted grin as the fangirls came closer.
"Naruto-sama can i have your autograph?!" called one girl "Sign my breast!" called another "Sign my butt!" called another "Naruto-kuuun! Will you have sex with me?!" called a woman in her mid twenties with long red silk hair. On closer inspection he saw the one woman who got him addicted to the sweet drug that is a womans body.
"Gyokumon?!" he yelled and ran up to her "What are you doing here? I thought you said that you lived in Karakura town." he asked as they walked away from the crowd of fangirls.
"I did but i moved away from there a year ago." she said as she started leading her to a café "You never called." she said pouting.
"Sorry about that. I've been training and working up a reputation." he said while ordering an espresso.
"Yeah i heard you got a reputation. 'The Kiroii Arashi' and his partner 'The Masked Shadow'" she said while ordering a cappucino. "Or otherwise known as 'The Legendary Pranksters'. But here you are known as the 'Hero of Wave'."
"Cool." Naruto said while giving her a foxy grin, the grin that had made many women weak in the knees and wet between the legs. This was no exception. He could smell it. "Umm... Tobi. Why don't you go and get us a hotel? I'll walk Miss Gyokumon home." he said as he got up from the table they were sitting at.
"Aah.. Got it!" Tobi said and disappeared in a swirl of leaves. When he was gone Naruto turned to Gyokumon.
"Shall we go?" he asked as he offered her his arm which she gladly accepted.
Another night of fun for Naruto. (Hurray for nymphomaniacs!!)
Well, i'll end it here. I think it worked out pretty nice.
This will be NaruxKure but they haven't met yet so he's gonna sleep around alot until he meets her.
I don't know if i'm gonna do the whole 'Kurenai is my love. Now i'm going back to Konoha and get babies and watch them grow up' plot or the 'War is coming, Akatsuki is thrown into it and allies with Konoha' plot
Tell me what you want!
R&R!!!! LEADER-SAMA STILL COMMANDS YOU!!!!
Love the Nymphomaniacs!
Until next time, ZnK signing out.
