Prompt: 017 Naked
It was something about the way she sat in front of the fire. He couldn't tell you why – maybe it was the way her back was hunched over, or how her arms were wrapped tightly around her knees, her red hair hiding her face – but he knew that she was miserable. Of course, it could have also been that her slight form was shaking with the sobs she was trying to keep muffled, or the fact that he could see the tears falling down her cheeks that tipped him off, but James liked to think it was because he loved her, and he just knew these things.
He had been watching her carefully all night from across the Common Room, watched as one by one her friends had gone up to her, sat next to her and tried to comfort her. Lily had ignored them all, withdrawing more into her self.
As Marlene had walked past him, on the way to the Girls Dormitory, James caught her attention by grabbing onto the hem of her skirt. Marlene turned to face him, frowning down at the boy. "What?" she demanded, pulling her skirt out of his grasp.
James hesitated, looking over at Lily, who was now staring blankly at the fire, cheeks wet with tears. "Is she – what's wrong with her?" he asked quietly, running his fingers through his hair nervously.
Marlene sighed and shrugged. "We're not sure. She won't tell us anything, but she got an owl this morning and –" she paused, and closed her eyes tiredly, " well, her mum has been really sick, with cancer –"
"Cancer?" James repeated, "is that like Dragon Pox?"
Marlene gave him an odd look. "No," she explained, "it's a Muggle disease that attacks your body. Lily's mum had a type of cancer that affected her bones, and it was basically eating away at her entire body. There isn't a cure for it, so she's been dying for a long time…" Marlene trailed off and sighed again, folding her arms.
James nodded in understanding. "So you think the owl was from her family?"
"She won't answer any of our questions," the frustration was clear in Marlene's voice, " and she just walked off after breakfast and skipped all her classes. I don't know what's wrong with her," she said quietly, "and I know Lily, she won't say anything till she's ready, and Merlin knows when that will be…" she sighed again, and threw her hands up into her hair. "I've got to go to bed, I'm really tired and she –" Marlene blushed, " I feel like the worst friend, but I can't stay up with her all night if she won't even look at me. "
James shook his head, still watching Lily. "Don't worry about it," he said softly.
Marlene stood beside him for a few moments, saying nothing, before she shrugged and started up the stairs.
James hardly noticed her leave, as he chose to concentrate on the small girl across from him. She was still staring at the fire, her face crumpled in sadness. James bit his lip. They had been getting along much better these past few years, forming what James was delighted to hear Lily describe "a really fun friendship", but he had attempted to avoid any deep connections with her because he knew that the instant they started confiding in each other, he would blurt out that he was still madly in love with her and wanted to – well lets just say it involved the broom closet and a few hours of privacy. He really did want to go over there and comfort her, but he wasn't sure if she would even let him come near – if she hadn't opened up to Marlene or Mary, what made him think she would even give him a second chance?
James chewed his lip, going through various scenarios in his head, trying to decide what to do. "Ah screw it," He muttered and got to his feet, making his way carefully over to Lily. He sat next to her, mindful that he didn't touch her physically.
"Hey Lils" he whispered, "what's wrong?"
She choked back a sob and shook her head fiercely, keeping her eyes focused on the fireplace.
James inched a bit closer, his leg brushed against hers gently. "Is it your mum? Marlene told me that she had cancer – I still don't really understand what that means," James said, watching her closely, "but she said it ate away at her body."
Lily's face contorted, with anger, fear or misery, James couldn't tell, but it was an improvement on the blank expression she'd been wearing all night.
James took a deep breath and continued, "I don't know if that's what the owl was about, but if it's about your mum, I'm really sorry." James hesitated, " I – I want to stay and be with you Lily, you know, make you feel better," James could feel a blush forming on his cheeks, " well as much as you can feel better on a day like this but if you'd rather me go, I'll go. I just, well I don't like seeing you so upset yeah? So just – just let me know."
He sat there and waited for her to respond for what seemed like ages, but apart from that one expression change she didn't even acknowledge that he had spoken. James felt his heart sink. He sighed and stood up, about to make his way up to bed, when Lily made a strangled sound and clutched onto his arm. James gazed down at her, shocked, and she looked up at him, her pale face red and blotchy and her eyes desperate.
"Stay," she croaked, and then cleared her throat, "please," she whispered, ' just stay –" she trailed off and swallowed.
James sat back down immediately and clasped onto her hand tightly. "Ok." He smiled at her and kissed her forehead.
Tears welled in her eyes and she bit her lip. "My mum," she started, "she was so beautiful. And she was so proud when I went to Hogwarts and even though I know she wanted me to stay home with her and Petunia and daddy, she never complained." Lily took a shuddering breath and squeezed James' hand. "And now I've spent so much time away from her at school, " her voice began to waver, "and I miss her so much and I'll never be able to see her again because of this stupid illness and –" she burst into tears, " and I'm a witch and I should've been able to help her, but I was here all the time, worried about my marks and my stupid Head Girl badge –"
James grabbed her and pulled her towards him, crushing her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her tightly. Lily cried and cried, gasping and shaking as she buried her face into his shirt, her fingers wrapped digging into his chest. James held her and rocked her gently, murmuring nonsense words in her hair.
She went quiet after a while, but James refused to let go of her and kept his arms wrapped around her possessively. Lily sighed, and shuddered, lifting her head and looking up at him, her green eyes huge in her face. "James," she said, "thanks."
James smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. "You're very welcome," he told her and squeezed her gently.
A/N: This is dedicated to my beautiful friend, Jessica, who lost her cousin to cancer last year. I don't think I could ever even begin to imagine what it was like for her and her family, to lose someone so young and vibrant to a disease that slowly took him away from them, but this story is in memory of a young man I never had the honour of meeting.
