Sorry this took so long. I do not own Hunger Games, Titanic, or WALL-E. Thanks for all of the reviews! The guest star today is: Everyone who survived Mockingjay!

Part 4: Titanic 22

Peeta was crying on Haymitch's shoulder as they watched the end of Titanic. There was nothing on TV so they were stuck with watching it. Still Haymitch didn't expect such a disturbing reaction from Peeta.

"Come on Peeta, it's just a movie."

"Based off of a true story! And she let go! Just like Katniss would! It's so sad! This my fate!"

"Toughen up and be a man Peeta!"

"Well said for the so-called man who cried when the girl who looked like Effie drowned!" Peeta replied with sarcasm.

Haymitch snorted crankily.

"I bet I could make a Titanic a million times better than James Cameron."

"You make a movie?" Peeta said with confusion.

"Peeta I had a dream. When I was a kid I wanted to be a snotty, obnoxious, and filthy, stinking, rich movie director. My mother told me that I was going to be a coal miner and that's all I was ever going to be. So go start mining! That's what she told me. Well I proved her wrong! I became a drunk!"

"Your poor mother." Peeta said with sympathy.

"Well that gives me an idea Peeta, a brilliant idea!" Haymitch ran for the door and disappeared leaving Peeta bewildered and confused.

The next morning Peeta woke up to the sound of a ships horn. He ran outside to find Haymitch with a cruise ship in the front yard.

"Haymitch, where did the ship come from?" Peeta said rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

"I bought a cruise ship!" Haymitch proudly replied.

"You have no money, Haymitch."

"I borrowed a cruise ship and filming equipment!"

Behind Haymitch was a pile of extremely expense filming equipment. On the other side stood Katniss, Johanna, Gale, Effie, Mrs. Everdeen, Annie, Greasy Sae, and Katniss prep team. Haymitch pointed to them with excitement.

"These deadbeats and Effie are going to be your cast mates."

"What?!" The confused Peeta said.

"This deadbeat is going to make you dead if you say that again Haymitch!" Johanna snarled.

"Well I really don't care. So here's whats going on here. I am filming the greatest masterpiece of cinema history, It will be called Titanic 22!"

That's when Beetee came running as fast as he could towards them.

"Spock! Spock! Where are you! Take me with you."

Beetee looked at everyone dismayed. "Haymitch lied to me didn't he?"

Everyone nodded. Beetee glared at Haymitch and sulked away.

"Haymitch, the ship sunk and your missing 20 other sequels. It's impossible to make another." Katniss said with disgust

"I am Haymitch Abernathy! I can do anything, but be sober for more than a day! Now Katniss if you would read the script this is about an alien sent to prevent the Titanic from sinking and to retrieve the Mockingjay of the Sea but then falls in love duh."

"Why 22?" Annie asked.

"Because it sounds so awesome!" Haymitch replied hyperly.

"This is madness Haymitch!" Gale said.

"Well if anyone decides not to participate in my movie, I will stalk them for the rest of their lives."

"We're in." Everyone said in terrified unison.

"Alright so I'm going to give everyone their parts." Haymitch said with an all too evil smile. (Everyone groans in fear)

"Katniss! You are going to be the lovely, beautiful Rose Everdeen."

"Haymitch I HATE roses!" She screamed.

"And I care because? So where was I oh yes, you are Rose, who is being forced to marry the rich and handsome but total jerk Cal. Who will be played by Gale."

"What! I don't want to be evil!" (Peeta snickers in the background)

"You actually are going to be two characters. The real Cal gets thrown overboard and replaced by an alien who looks like Cal, but whose job was to find the rare golden necklace, the Mockingjay of the Sea, but then falls in love with the beautiful Rose!"

"Burn!" Gale said with a grin to a disappointed Peeta.

"Peeta you are going to be the broke, deadbeat artist, Jack that falls in love with Rose."

"Do I get to live in the end of this movie?"

"No you freeze to death or get stabbed by the alien queen. I'm still deciding." Haymitch said with a smile.

"Life is so unfair!" Peeta said with as much drama as possible.

"Perfect! Save that for filming! Now Annie you are going to be a random hysterical person, Effie is Molly Brown, Mrs. Everdeen you are to be Katniss's mother, who is also a vampire. The prep team will be the band, Greasy Sae is the present day Rose, Beetee you are going to be the special effects/camera man and Johanna you get to be the iceberg. So that means you get to send thousands of people to their icy deaths." Haymitch handed her an ax as he said that.

"Cool, I can handle that." She said with a michievious smile.

"And I shall be the ship captain/treasure hunter, producer, screenwriter, and most important of all your amazing director! So let the filming begin!

"Alright everyone, action!" Haymitch shouted with excitement. Haymitch walked onto the deck of the boat dressed like a treasure hunter.

"The wreck of the Titanic is directly below me, WALL-E!" A cute little robot rolls onto the deck.

"Hey! That's my WALL-E prototype!"Betee shouted.

"Shut up! You're ruining the scene, alright WALL-E get down there and find me the necklace." Haymitch continued.

The robot looked nervously into the dark green-blue water.

"WALL-E." it said.

"Yeah, get in there WALL-E!"

Haymitch promptly kicked the robot overboard. "WAAAAAAL-EEEE!" It shouted as it fell into the ocean.

"The Mockingjay of the Sea will be mine." Haymitch said with a mischievous smile.

WALL-E came back on board with a picture of a girl, who was wearing a dress that was on fire. She was wearing the Mockingjay of the Sea necklace.

"This is it!" I need to find who this girl is! To the internet!" Haymitch grabbed a laptop and pretended to search online.

"It's a blog called "My Grandma survived the Titanic and wore the Mockingjay of the Sea. Wow why didn't I find this earlier!"

The next scene showed Greasy Sae watching TV when the treasure hunter, Haymitch, broke open the door and ran into the room frantically.

"Hey old lady!"

"You get out! Now!" She screamed while hitting him with her cane.

"Ow! Ouch! Ow! Stop I-I just w-want Ow! To know where the Mockingjay of the Sea is!"

She stopped hitting him and laughed.

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"You were to busy hitting my brains out with a cane!"

"You should learn to knock young man, if you want to know where the pin is you must first listen to my story."

"Ok, that doesn't sound so bad."

"Oh, and to warn you its a mushy love story."

"Noooooooooo!" Haymitch screamed but she ignored him.

"It all began when I met Jack."

"Cut!" Haymitch shouted. "That was perfect."

The next scene was filmed on the deck of the cruise ship."Ok Gale all you need to do is act like a jerk. Actually just act like you did during Mockingjay." Haymitch told Gale.

"I can do that." Gale replied with a sly smile. Then Katniss, Gale, and Mrs. Everdeen walked onto the deck wearing Titanic era costumes.

"Action!" Haymitch shouted and the scene began.

"Oh, Rose you are the most beautiful girl in the world and now I'm taking you on the greatest ship in the world."

Gale took Katniss in his arms and kissed her. Peeta who was watching and waiting for his scene instantly reacted.

"Hey! She's my girl! Gale I'm going to kill you!" Peeta screamed as he jumped onto the deck.

"Cool it Cal." Katniss said trying to save the scene but it was already ruined.

"She's mine Gale! So get over it! You've been jealous ever since she chose me at the end of Mockingjay!"

"You know what bothers me Rose?" Gale said with a sly smile on his face.

"What Cal?"

"Annoying artists from the third class who think they are so amazing but actually they are obnoxious; and don't even get me started on bakers. All they care about is bread, bread, bread! Just don't combine the two or you'll get the most annoying person on the face of the earth!"

"That's IT! You crossed the line Gale! Never EVER mess with my bread!"

Peeta pushed Gale overboard.

"Hi I'm Jack and this is crazy but here is my number so can I call you maybe?"

"Cut!"

Everyone looked at Haymitch nervously. They had just ruined his scene.

"That was perfect! I couldn't have written it any better!" Haymitch said.

After a few poorly written and uneventful scenes with the other characters the next scene with Jack and Rose came up. This was the famous flying scene and Haymitch couldn't wait to film it.

"Alright everyone action."

Peeta picked up Katniss just like in the scene in original movie.

"I'm flying Jack! I'm flying!"

"You know your actually kind heavy. I'm going down! I'm falling! I'm falling!"

Peeta slipped and dropped Katniss overboard.

"Peeta I'm going to kill you!" She screamed as she fell.

"You're the Mockingjay aren't you supposed to fly?"

"Peeta!"

"Does that me your breaking up with me? It was just an accident."

They got the soaked Katniss back on board and continued filming.

"Are you ok Rose?" Peeta said nervously.

She walked over to him with an overly sweet smile.

"I'm fine Jack." She promptly pushed him overboard.

The rest of Haymitch's film included Cal returning as an alien, Mrs. Everdeen hiding from the sun, Johanna as an alien queen commanding Gale to retrieve the Mockingjay of the Sea, Peeta drew the picture of Katniss wearing the dress that was on fire and now it was time for the ship to sink.

"Alright Johanna, Ready to sink the ship!"

"Oh yeah! I was born for this role." There was a loud screech.

"Johanna that was amazing!" Gale commented.

The scene that followed was a overdramatic Effie as Molly, and the prep team started playing violins terribly.

Jack was holding Rose's hands as she floated on a piece of drift wood.

"Hey can you guys stop playing I'm trying to die here and its hard to concentrate when all I can hear is screeching!"

"Jack don't leave me. I'll never let go!" Katniss said.

"Don't let go! I can't swim and I'm afraid of water!" Peeta franticly replied.

"Peeta I need to let go! That's how the scene ends.

"NO! Don't! I'm afraid of water!" Peeta cried out in fear.

Peeta then proceeded to scramble onto the board.

"Jack your supposed to freeze now! So get back into the water and die or we'll both freeze!"

"NO I refuse to die!

"Go in the water and die already! I want this stupid mushy movie to end!"

"But its cold!"

That's when the ship actually started to sink.

"Johanna is the ship actually sinking or is that really good special effects?" Gale asked.

"Oh its sinking."

"What!" Haymitch screamed.

"You said make it convincing so I had us run into two icebergs."

"We have lifeboats right?" Beetee said.

"Uh, only one." Haymitch said.

"I'm going to freeze to death out here! I told you this would be my fate Haymitch!" Peeta screamed.

"Everyone stay calm and... Every man for himself! Forget about the women and children!" Haymitch said as grabbed the film equipment and ran to the only life boat.

"Follow him if you want to live!" Johanna shouted.

Somehow the group all stuffed themselves into the small boat, but there was not enough room for one thing, Haymitch's expensive film equipment.

"NO! NO! Don't throw my greatest life achievement overboard! Haymitch shouted as Katniss and Johanna threw all the equipment into the sea.

" I guess that's the end of that." Gale said.

" Hey I just realized something," Peeta said.

"Just like in the original movie the fate is the same for the Mockingjay of the Sea."

Haymitch stopped sobbing and smiled happily. " I have another idea! Let's film another E.T.!"

Please Review or Haymitch will continue to make stupid remakes of the most beloved films of all time!