Chapter 4

Having Masen around is the best sleeping pill imaginable. You always hear parents' complaining about what a nightmare it is to have young children, but I find it amazingly relaxing. It could be that I've only been a parent for a few days, but I have gotten such good sleep since Masen has come into my life. That may seem impossible to some people, but having him sleeping snuggled into my side is the best feeling in the world.

I awoke before the alarm this morning, making sure to turn it off so it didn't wake Masen. I look at the innocent child in my arms sleeping soundly and smile serenely at him. After several minutes, I gently extract myself from Masen's arms, and dress for the day. I quietly exit the room, and pour myself a bowl of cereal.

"Daddy!" I hear a bone-chilling scream.

Startled, I drop my spoon, tipping my bowl over in the process. I jump up from my seat and bolt to my room, throwing the door open. I find Masen in the fetal position on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. I quickly sweep him in my arms and cradle him to my chest while sitting on the floor.

"Shh, I'm here Masen, what is it? What's wrong," I ask frantically, trying to soothe him simultaneously. He continues crying into my chest, holding my shirt in a death grip while I run a hand through his hair holding him to me. "Masen, you have to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it," I plead, tears starting to accumulate in my own eyes.

Eventually, he quiets down and I only hear an occasional whimper coming from him. "Is he alright," my mom asks from the doorway startling me. I was so caught up in comforting Masen that I forgot about the world around me.

I look up at her wearily, "he's calmed down some, if that's what you're asking. But I have no idea what set him off," I whisper, hoping not to frighten Masen. "What time is it, can you call Alice and inform her that I'll be late."

"Of course, do you need anything else?"

I shake my head, "no, not right now." She nods and exits the room.

"Masen buddy," I say pulling him back slightly so I can look at his face, "are you okay?"

He nods as more tears silently make their way down his face, dripping onto his shirt. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"I woke up and you weren't there. I checked in the bathroom and you weren't in there either. I thought you left me," he cries burrowing into my arms more. "I promise to be good, just please don't leave me," he begs.

Heartbroken, I pull him closer to me willing my own tears to not fall, "I won't leave you Masen, I promise. I'm sorry I scared you this morning. I have to go to work, so I was just eating breakfast. I didn't want to wake you," I explain.

"You were going to leave and not say goodbye," he states.

"I didn't want to wake you Masen, you need your sleep."

"I don't get to see you when I go to bed and then you're gone when I wake up too. During the day you're at work, I never get to see you," he sniffles. "Don't you want me?"

My tears finally fall from my eyes, as I bring his head to the crook of my neck rocking him back and forth. "I'll always want you Masen," I whisper in his ear. "Like I told you yesterday, I'm not going anywhere." I draw him away from me so I can look at his face, "how about if we have breakfast together every morning no matter what? That way you'll see me in the mornings and I'll make sure to wake you when I come back at night. Does that sound alright?"

"I guess so," he says softly fidgeting with his hands.

I give him a small smile and wipe the tears from both of our faces, "so are you hungry?"

He nods as a little smile makes its way to his face. I stand up still holding Masen and bring him into the kitchen. I notice the mess I made when I ran to Masen is all cleaned up and mother is busy making us something to eat.

She turns when she hears us approach. Giving us a smile she asks, "everything alright?"

"Yes it is. Did you speak with Alice?"

"Yes, she said she would take care of it but to make sure you're there as soon as possible."

I nod, "I'm just going to have something to eat quick and then I'll head out," I say depositing Masen onto a chair at the table.

I quickly eat and say goodbye to Masen. I pull my mom off to the side to speak with her, "can you bring him by set when Rosalie gets here? If you can hold off until lunch I think that would be best. If she gets anxious just tell her to rest from her jetlag or whatever. I don't want her to see him before I can talk to her."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. I might need Alice's help later then."

"I'll let her know when I see her. Thanks mom." I kiss her cheek and hastily make my way to the awaiting car downstairs.

When I arrive on set, I am swiftly rushed through makeup and wardrobe before heading to location. I am there for mere minutes when the camera starts rolling. The morning goes by quickly, and before I know it, we're released for lunch. However, before I can escape, Aro calls me over.

"Aro," I greet tersely. Aro and I have been on uneven footing since shortly after filming started. I don't know what he has against me, but I don't have it in me to care anymore; I have more important things to worry about now.

"Edward, you have been distracted from work the past few days. I thought giving you the day off yesterday would snap you out of it, but then you show up late this morning. You came highly recommended by my colleagues, and I have yet to see why. I don't have time or money to waste on this project, so I expect you to step up and act like a professional. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir," I reply. "The reason I have been so distracted the last couple days is because I found out I have a son. His mother died recently and now it is my responsibility to look after him. So if you would like me perform up to par, I need more reasonable working hours so I can look after him."

He looks surprised before quickly composing his features, "I'm sorry to her about her passing, but my hands are tied when it comes to this film. We are on a tight schedule as it is, but I'll see what I can do. With that being said, you need to step it up Mr. Cullen; if you want to wrap things up sooner, you need to be at the top of your game so we don't have to redo scenes multiple times."

"I'll do my best, thank you for your understanding."

After talking with Aro, I quickly make my way to my trailer where Alice and Masen are waiting outside. "Hello," I say questioningly. "Why are you guys waiting out here?"

"Your mom and Rose are inside."

"Oh, I'll be right back then."

I open the door, step in, and see mom, Rose, and Emmett sitting on the couch chatting away. "Hello everyone."

The chatter stops as they all look at me. Emmett stands giving me a man hug, "Hey Ed, how's it going? Haven't seen you in a while."

Emmett and Rose have been married for almost two years now. Rose is a model, specializing primarily in photo shoots. She does however, do the occasional runway when she is specifically requested. Emmett, my bear of a brother-in-law, is a former model but recently called it quits and decided to try out acting for a while. It was through modeling that they met; they did a photo shoot together.

"Things are going well, how are you doing."

"I can't complain," he says wrapping his arm around Rose's shoulder.

"Rosalie, how are you," I ask, speaking to her for the first time in months.

She crosses her arms over her chest, "Oh cut the pleasantries Cullen, why did mom call me up telling me that you had news to share," she sneers.

"Cullen? Wow you must be really pissed, huh?" At that remark, she stomps her foot glaring at me. I hold my hands up in surrender, "Alright, alright. I'm sorry I didn't call you myself, but I have been pretty busy the past few days. I want you to meet someone, they're very important to me and I don't want you taking your hostility out on them."

Rosalie's features soften minutely, now looking at me more questioningly than anything. "Oh, Eddie finally has a girl he wants us to meet," Emmett rubs his hands together.

"Don't call me Eddie. They're right outside, do you want to meet them," I ask being intentionally vague on who it is they are about to meet.

"Just let them in," Rose says exasperated, "we promise to be… friendly."

I smirk at her, knowing exactly how she would act if it was actually a woman I was introducing them to. I open the door and pick Masen up, giving him the comfort of being in my arms when meeting new people. I return to the trailer and see Rose and Emmett's eyes bugging out of their heads. I laugh quietly to myself, doing a little dance of victory in my head for surprising them.

"Rose, Emmett, I would like to introduce you to my son Masen. Masen this your Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett," I say pointing to the two of them. After the past two days, I decided to introduce Masen as my son because I want to make sure that he knows he isn't going anywhere, that I'm not going anywhere.

Rosalie is the first snap out of her trance, "Hi, Masen. It's so nice to meet you," she says gently, extending her hand. "You can call me Rose if you would like."

He inspects her briefly from his position in my arms before shaking her hand, "you don't look like a flower."

The adults laugh at his innocent comment. Rose smiles hugely at him before Emmett steps up. "Hey little man, you can call me Uncle Em, how does that sound," he says smiling goofily at him.

Masen giggles at his jovial mood, "okay," he says shaking his hand.

I set Masen down, telling him to go play with grandma so I can talk to Rose and Emmett. "You have a lot of explaining to do," Rose says giving me the stink eye. I quickly tell them about Tanya and the fire, excluding information about Laurent and the abuse. That's not something I want to openly share with people, even if she is my sister.

"Wow, I can't believe she had your child and didn't even tell you. And I'm even more surprised that she didn't try getting money from you when you got famous."

"I know," I say running my hand through my hair. "She probably knew that I would want to be part of his life once I knew about him. Of course I would have given her money, that wouldn't have been an issue, but that wouldn't have been enough for me."

Rose approaches me and gives me hug, "he's adorable Edward. I'm glad you have him, you needed someone in your life."

I furrow my eyebrows at her, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She smiles sadly at me, "you've been quite unhappy for the past few years Edward. I can see it in your eyes how much happier you are already with him in your life. You're not as lonely anymore."

"I was never lonely. I have people around me all the time."

"You can still feel alone even when you're surrounded by people. Trust me, I know the feeling," she says looking at Emmett lovingly. "I felt that way until I met Emmett, he brought me back."

I smile at her, "I know he did."

"Speaking of significant others, how's the new girl liking Masen."

I laugh humorlessly, "what girl," I question. "The one that walked in, took one look at him, and said 'I'm too young to be someone's mother.' Well I told her to pack her shit and leave if that's what you're wondering. I would have done it soon regardless, she's a complete idiot."

She laughs, "no shit Sherlock. You really should talk to Alice or me before you take these girls out Edward. We hear all the Hollywood gossip; we can warn you before you waste your time with them."

I roll my eyes at her, "I'll keep that in mind. I'm not really in the market at the moment, so don't expect a call anytime soon."

Half a sandwich and a cookie later, I excuse myself to return to work. The rest of the afternoon goes by quickly as I solely focus on the task at hand. Once we're released and I'm in trailer getting ready to head back to the hotel, Alice pops her head in.

"Hey Edward, I just wanted to catch you before you head out. I interviewed a few applicants today; I narrowed the selection down to two candidates. I was wondering if you wanted to do the final interviews tomorrow."

"Yes that works, set one up in the morning and the other on my lunch break."

"Excellent, I'll see you in the morning then. Have a good night Edward."

"You too, and thank you for everything Alice."

She smiles, "don't mention it. Now get back to your son and family."

"Yes ma'am," I salute, following behind her to head to my awaiting car.

When I reach the hotel, it's a little after eight o'clock. "Mr. Cullen," the front desk person calls when I enter the lobby, "a package arrived for you today."

I stroll over to the desk and accept the large envelope, thanking the employee. While in the elevator, I rip the seal open and take out the papers inside. I run my eyes over them quickly, figuring out they are the paternity results. I flip through a couple sheets, trying to find the answer when I come across what looks like three horizontal bar graphs. One has Masen's name, one has mine, and the remaining one says anonymous donor. Next to my name it says there is 99.9% chance that I am Masen's biological father compared to the unknown donor.

Smiling as I open the door to the room, I throw the papers on the end table near the door, and sweep my eyes over the room looking for Masen. I find him sitting on the couch next to Rosalie who is nestled into Emmett's side. He looks over at me when he hears the noise and smiles brightly at me, only increasing my smile.

I rush over to him and lift him from his position, hugging him to me tightly. "You're mine," I say, not caring that he won't understand my rambling. "No one can ever take you away from me."

He smiles, touching my cheek with his hand, "are you mine too?"

Tears come to my eyes at his simple question, "yes son, I'm yours." All the emotion from the past few days finally catching up with me, I feel like a weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders that I have been carrying around.

I take Masen's seat on the couch, and place him on my lap, not willing to let go of him just yet. I finally look around me at my other family members, only to see them all looking at me strangely. I smile back at them, "I just got the results when I walked in the lobby, he's definitely mine," I explain.

My mother sniffles as she rushes over and embraces Masen and I, kissing both our cheeks. "I'm so happy for you Edward. Welcome to the family Masen."

He looks at me confused, "I don't have a family anymore, mommy died."

"You definitely have a family Masen, I'm your family," I tell him. "Even though your mom died, you still have me. And Nana, Papa, Uncle Em, and Aunt Rose are all your family too."

He looks around at everyone surrounding him, "cool," he eventually says.

When everyone starts talking, I quickly order some room service and relax into the sofa. An hour later after I've eaten, I say goodnight to everyone, pulling Masen with me. We both go through our night routines, and then climb into bed. Masen cuddles into my side as I wrap my arm around him.

"Goodnight Masen, I love you," I whisper into his hair resting under my chin.

"Night Daddy," he yawns, "love you."

I smile kissing the top of his head, "sweet dreams." I quickly fall into a deep sleep, most likely smiling like an idiot.

Then next morning, the alarm rings in my ear, alerting me it's time to wake up. I swiftly turn the annoying sound off, wishing I had more time to sleep. I think over the previous night and smile. I rub Masen's back, trying to rouse him from his sleep. "Masen bud, if you want to eat breakfast with me before I go to work, you have to get up now," I whisper into his ear.

He slowly opens his eyes, looking around. He gives me a tired smile before sitting up. I hop out of bed and run to the bathroom. Finding the bedroom empty upon my return, I move to the kitchen and find Masen with his box of cereal under one arm and a gallon of milk slipping from his other hand. I quickly go to his side, grabbing the milk just as it was about to slip from his grasp.

"Next time, get one thing at a time bud. We don't want to make a mess, daddy's too tired in the morning to clean up big messes," I say, relishing in calling myself his father and knowing for a fact it's true.

"Okay," he says meekly.

"No need to worry Masen," I say messing up his hair, "you just have to be careful." I grab a bowl and spoon for each of us, filling them up.

When it's time for me to go, I kiss Masen on the top of his head telling him to go wake up grandma. I wait until he knocks on her door and speaks with her before calling to him, "bye Masen. See you later, I love you."

"Bye, love you too," he smiles back at me.

I arrive earlier than normal, making sure that I'll have plenty of time to interview the first applicant before I'm called to set. As I enter my trailer, I find Alice already waiting for me with my coffee and usual stack of papers.

"Good morning Edward. How was your night," she asks.

"It was great. I got the paternity results, Masen is definitely a Cullen," I smile.

"Oh, that's such great news Edward," she says embracing me in a hug. "Not that I had any doubts on the contrary. He's practically your mini me."

I chuckle at her response, "yes we do have very similar looks that's for sure. How was your night Alice?"

"Boring as usual," she winks. "Anyway, back to business. Along with your script," she says pointing to the stack of papers still in my hand, "are the resumes for the individuals you are interviewing today. The first one is Ms. Cope, who should be here any minute now. And the second is Ms. Swan. Did you need anything before Ms. Cope gets here?"

"No, but thank you for asking," I say distractedly, looking over the resumes in front of me.

"Alright, I'm going to go meet her at the gate. I'll be back soon."

Ten minutes later, a knock on the door brings me out of my stupor. Alice opens the door and steps in, followed by an older looking woman who looks to be in her early forties.

"Mr. Cullen, this is Ms. Cope," she introduces.

I stand and shake her hand, "pleasure to meet you Ms. Cope. Please take a seat."

"Thank you Mr. Cullen," she says nervously.

I give her my crooked smile, while I start peppering her with information and questions about the position. After a half hour or so of talking, I thank her for her time and dismiss her.

"She doesn't seem too bad," I say to Alice once she returns from taking Ms. Cope back to the gate. "A little older than the nanny I had in mind. I just wonder if she will be able to keep up with him. But she meets all the qualifications I suppose."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. There is still Ms. Swan this afternoon, she's younger, but definitely doesn't have the experience that Ms. Cope has."

"Hm… well I'll just have to wait until that interview. I should get to makeup, if any new promising resumes come in before then, make sure to let me know."

"Of course, I'll see you later," she waves, typing frantically on her phone.

I remember to remain focused after my discussion with Aro yesterday. The last thing I need is another tongue lashing from him. Plus he's right, the more I can focus, the less time it will take to get the shot. The morning runs smoothly, and soon enough I'm making my way back to the trailer.

As I open the door and step in, I realize that Alice is not alone. Sitting next to her on the couch is a young woman with wavy mahogany hair. I would guess her to be younger than me, I try to recall her age from her resume but come up empty. "Mr. Cullen, this is Ms. Isabella Swan," Alice introduces.

"Mr. Cullen, thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me," she says after releasing my hand.

"Not a problem Ms. Swan. But if you could excuse my rudeness, I'm on my lunch break so I will be eating during the interview. You are free to help yourself to anything you would like as well."

"Oh, thank you for the offer, but I already ate."

"Fair enough, let's get started. As I am sure you're aware by the secrecy of my identity before today, this will not be a typical nanny position. If you're hired, you will be required to sign a confidentiality agreement saying you will not give details about my or my son's life to anyone, especially to the press. Obviously there is more to it than that, but you can read the details about that later.

"Some of this may be repetitive from when you spoke with Alice, but I want to make sure we're on the same page. I live in LA, so I would require you to move there with me once I'm done filming my current role. Would that be a problem for you?"

"No, I have no attachments connecting me here," she says firmly.

I nod and continue, "With my job comes unpredictability. Everyday my work schedule is different, so there would never be a set time frame that you would be working. Because of this, I would expect you move in with me here and in LA. Are you against this?"

"No, I understand completely. That would not be a problem."

After taking a few bites of my lunch I go on, "because of my unpredictable schedule, that would mean that your time off is also unpredictable. Of course if you needed time off for something specific, let me know in advance so I can make alternate arrangements if I'm not available. He'll be going to school in the fall, so you'll have your days mostly to yourself during the school year.

"I obviously travel frequently for my job, and I anticipate Masen coming with on most occasions. I don't really know how smoothly I am going to be able to transition him into my life. If you were unaware, I only recently came into custody, so I don't know how to raise a child, let alone raise a child while traveling the world. I plan on being an integral part in Masen's life, however I know for the next year or more that will be quite difficult with my job. That's where you come in obviously.

"I need someone that will be willing to travel half way around the world to look after a child that is not there own. I noticed that you don't really have much experience being a nanny, what makes you think that you're qualified to look after my son," I ask, taking a few bites during her response.

"I know my experience isn't lengthy by any means, but I practically raised a child from when he was six years old until he was eleven. My father's best friend got into a car accident, killing his wife and two daughters, leaving him paralyzed. Jacob, his son, was at a friend's house at the time. After the accident Billy was distraught and couldn't take care of himself, let alone Jacob.

"I was thirteen at the time and I went over there everyday after school to look after Jake; they were our neighbors. I helped him with his homework, made him dinner, and put him to bed. In the mornings, I made him breakfast and made sure he got to school. Once I got my license, I picked Jake up from practices, did the grocery shopping. I was basically his mother for six years, until I went off to school. Even then, I came back frequently to make sure he was taken care of.

"I graduated last year, and Jake is a sophomore in high school, fully capable of looking after himself now. I may not have multiple references showcasing my talents of looking after children, but I have six plus years of raising one child, who grew into a fine young man," she trails off.

I look at her slack jawed, then look behind her to find Alice smirking at me. I mentally check my facial features to make sure my mouth isn't hanging open or anything. I take a sip of water and clear my throat, "I don't really know how to respond to that to be quite honest. I guess I just have a few questions that I would like you to answer if you don't mind. I just want to make sure of a few things before I commit to anything."

"You can ask whatever you'd like Mr. Cullen," she replies politely.

"What degree did you graduate with?"

She looks slightly confused before answering, "English."

"Ah… I guess I'm surprised it wasn't childhood education, or something along those lines anyway. Is this something you can see yourself doing for a while, or were you only thinking of being a nanny temporally?"

"I was not thinking of it as a temporary position. However, being a nanny is not a career aspiration of mine. I wanted to take some time off before I really delve into my chosen field, and this seemed like a suitable option. I wouldn't mind relocating; I've only lived in Washington and visited Arizona where my mother lives, so moving is not an issue for me."

"The reason I ask is because I don't want to constantly be looking for a new nanny for my son. He hasn't really had much stability in his life thus far, and I don't want all these new people coming into his life every few months or even a year down the road if I'm being honest. I know that a lot can happen in a year, but if you truthfully don't see yourself being around in a year, I would appreciate you withdrawing your resume," I state.

Before she can answer, there is knock at the door as it is swings open and Masen runs in followed by my mother. A smile brightens my face as he catches my eye and launches himself at me. "Hey bud, I wasn't expecting to see you here today."

"I begged nana to bring me. Uncle Em wanted to take me to play football, but she said we had to talk to you first," he explains.

I chuckle at the new carefree look on his features, "I guess that's okay if you go with Uncle Em. As long as it's just you two, I don't want to draw too much attention if Rose is with," I concede. I'm already having a hard time telling him no.

"Thank you," he says giving me another hug. He finally looks around him, and once he sees Ms. Swan, he recoils into my side.

"This is daddy's friend Ms. Swan. Can you say hello," I ask, curious as to how he will respond to her.

"Hi," he says shyly.

She smiles at him extending her hand, "Hi there, my name is Bella, what's your name," she asks.

He takes her hand, "Masen Cullen. Your name sounds like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Does your name mean pretty too?"

Clearly shocked, I see a light blush cross her features. She smiles at him, "yes it does. You're very smart. Do you get that from your daddy?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "that's what mommy always said. You're pretty, just like your name says. My aunt's name is Rose, but I don't think she looks like a flower. You look exactly like your name though."

I laugh at his rambling; that is the most I've seen him interact with someone he's just met. Ms. Swan blushes more, "Just because she doesn't look like a flower, doesn't mean she isn't pretty like a rose is. Wouldn't you agree that roses are pretty," she asks.

"Yes, roses are pretty," he agrees.

"And do you think your aunt is pretty?"

"Yes, she's pretty. But not as pretty as you."

She blushes a little more, "thank you Masen. Next time you see your aunt you should tell her that she's pretty as a rose. I'm sure she will be very happy to hear you say that. Can you do that for me?"

He nods his head, "sure."

She chuckles and rights herself in the chair she was sitting in. I excuse us for a few minutes, to complete the interview outside.

"Alright, I don't think I have any further questions," I say shaking her hand.

"Thank you for your time Mr. Cullen. Masen is adorable, he's quite the flirt," she laughs, blushing once again, probably remembering his compliments.

I laugh, "I have no idea where that came from; I've never seen him act that way before. I think he likes you."

"I like him too, he seems like a wonderful boy."

"He is. Thank you for stopping by Ms. Swan; it was a pleasure to meet you. I'll be in touch."

"Thank you Mr. Cullen," she says as Alice leads her back to the gate.

Holy shit.

If I felt inadequate as parent before, I certainly feel it now. I'm twenty-five years old trying to raise a six year old, and she did it at the age of thirteen for fuck's sake. And then the way she interacted with Masen, that was incredible.

I head back into the trailer and finish my meal, offering Masen a few bites every now and then. Once Alice returns, mom and an excited looking Masen leave.

"So what did you think of Ms. Swan," Alice asks.

"I think she's perfect for the job. She was younger than I was expecting, but her previous experience can't really be replicated. She raised a child half her age when she was thirteen years old, that's unbelievable."

She laughs, "So you liked her I take it."

"Yes I did, I'll call her tomorrow to formerly offer her the position. And did you see the way Masen acted with her," I ask, not expecting an answer in return. "I haven't seen him act that way with anyone he just met," I ramble on.

Alice eventually calms me down, and pushes me out the door so I'll make it back to set on time. When I return to the room that night, I'm still in high spirits from the successful interview. Apparently Masen is still hyped up from his day with Emmett as well, as he excitedly tells me all about it.

After he tuckers out, we say goodnight to every and go to sleep, tangled up like usual.