Friday, August 5th
Midday
What an amazing (not) week. I have spent loads of time hanging round my really cool mates (Libby, Angus, and Gordon—need I say more? I think not), and chatting with my roommates (Mutti and Vati).
Thank you baby Jesus. One step away from Halos-a-go-go Land, this.
Still, at least I am not at Stalag 14.
And I am, it must be said, the girlfriend of a Luuurve God.
4 p.m.
Having a bit of an early tea. Ace Gang meeting at the clock tower vair soon. Also, there are parental units that need avoiding. Vati paid a visit to Strop Central yesterday, as he saw me using his razor. Again.
Honestly, there is no privacy round here.
Or sanity.
I was just rather innocently tending to the orangutan gene lurking underneath my arm, and Vati came storming in all beardy and portly. His face went quite purple and he started stammering at me with an air of definite madnosity.
I said to Dad, "Oi, a bit of privacy, mate," and he started the usual nonsense about rudeness and respect for elders and other people's, er, toiletries.
Rave on, Old Eggy One.
When I closed the door in his face, he chucked something at it. I think it was Gordy, but I can't be sure. I said through the door, "Avoid the violence, Dad, I want to be healthy when I go to Italy."
He just laughed, and I don't mean in a charming, normal sort of way. More on the mad, "the bloody hell you're going to Italy" side.
Which I do not care for. Who would?
4:30 p.m.
I will just do a very quick beauty regime and leave a little note (as I am actually a prisoner) and set off before any of the Mad Family get in. Especially as Vati might throw something at me again. Which poses the danger of some unsightly bruise or blemish. Meaning I will meet my mates at the clock tower tonight, however NOT meet them at the Stiff Dylans gig tomorrow. You see what I mean.
Clock Tower
5:15 p.m.
Rosie has got on a bra with those whatsits, sparkly, tiny little plastic sort of discs sewn in. Which might actually come very near normal, except it is OVER her shirt.
Jas is doing flicky fringe, flicky fringe nonsense, ie, being vair vair annoying.
Jools is applying lippy (again), and Ellen is shuffling around.
In other words, everything is in order.
Rosie said to all of us, "Go on then, feel the sequined majesty. You know you want to."
We all said, "Erlack!"
We did though. Except Jas, who said, "Lezzies."
Honestly, she is so immature. She definitely lacks that joie de whatsit as she is too busy being all huffy knickers and "reasonable."
5:50 p.m.
Jools said, "So Georgia, what is the deal with the Italian Stallion? Are you going to Italy?"
Why does everyone seem to be under the impression that I have got normal, loving parents that have got their daughter's happiness and best interests at heart?
"I will have to work on them a bit more."
"Has Masimo, you know, er, talked, I mean called…you?" No need to tell you who that astounding question came from.
I answered, "Yes, and he sounded tres, tres, dreamy. He really is double cool with knobs on and he has got such a lovely accent. Even if he can't understand half of what I say. And the snogging is quite worth it. His kisses sort of linger."
Everyone just looked at me. Jas said, "Er…linger?"
But before I could explain, Jools said, "No, I sort of know what you mean. One time Rollo gave me a really brilliant snog and my lips sort of still thought he was snogging me hours later."
Oh, Masimo, Masimo, where art thou?
9:15 p.m.
Excellent Ace Gang meeting tonight. We have gone over some plans for Rosie's "wedding," including rehearsal of the Viking bison disco inferno (which will, of course, be her first dance with Sven).
Also, we have made arrangements for the Stiff Dylans gig. Eight o'clock meeting at the clock tower, and then Rosie's Mutti will be "giving us a lift home." That is to say, we will tell our parents that.
I know what you are thinking. And you are right. The Ditherspaz Twins would never agree to such a flawless plan without a (pathetico) fight, would they? "No, obviously, as they are called the DITHERSPAZ twins" is the answer you are looking for.
Jas said, "Why can't Rosie's mum ACTUALLY give us a lift."
And Rosie, quite rightfully, said, "Because, Jas, that would be naff."
And Ellen joined in, "Well, don't you think we…er, I mean to say, if we are going…wouldn't…can't we…?"
I looked at Jas all smiling. But she knew I meant it in a you see what you have got on your side? way.
And she looked at me in a shut up, tarty knickers way
And I said, "Div," except it was accidentally out loud. Everyone looked at me.
And now Ellen thinks I have called her a div. Which, I must say, would not have been far off the mark.
Still, I have been trying to get on her good side since the accidental snogging incident with my mate who's name I shall not mention.
9:20 p.m.
Although I will say that there was no mention of Dave the Laugh tonight. Thankfully.
Two minutes later
Well, actually, we did mention his going-away party. It is really weird. I don't mean that his party is weird, I mean that he is leaving. For good.
Actually, his party seems quite nice. It makes me feel a bit like crying. It is going to be at Rosie's house, as she is one of the few lucky ones who's got parents with any hint of coolnosity. The Stiff Dylans (the Robbie version, of course) are going to do a short set for him and it seems that loads of people have already said they are coming.
Dave the Laugh has got a lot of mates. It is really a wonder that he is mates with me at all, as he is already so popular and I used him as a red herring to make SG jealous.
9:30 pm
Blimey, time is really getting on. I must get optimum beauty rest for the Stiff Dylans gig tomorrow (which is not actually a Stiff Dylans gig as the lead singer, ie the heart and (groovy) soul will be missing).
Still, at least Robbie will be singing.
Three minutes later
I think I am going through snogging withdrawal. How long has it been since Masimo's gone? I have almost forgotten the color of his eyes.
One minute later
I will have to find Angus.
9:45 p.m.
It is not the same looking into Angus's eyes. Masimo has a really warm, kind glint in his eyes, whereas Angus has a definite glint of bonkerosity.
9:47 p.m.
Incidentally, lovely glints of kindness are better than glints of naughtinosity, as anyone would agree. Much more preferable, especially to someone like moi.
10:00 p.m.
Then why does it give me the Horn?
Saturday
1:00 p.m.
It is only one and already I have had my bath (more endless raving from Vati), cleansed, toned, moisturized, and put really big rollers into my hair for maximum bounceability. Also, I have applied this green mud type mask thingie, to "refine the pores."
1:15 p.m.
Went into mum's room. She looked at me and said, "Oh my."
Honestly.
I told her, "I am starting my beauty regime for when I go to Italy."
She said, "Georgia, you are not going to Italy."
I said, "Wrong."
She just looked at me.
As I was leaving she said, "Georgia that had better not be my good face mask, it cost more than your university fund."
I said to her, "Of course, Mum, there is about three quid in there as it has all gone to ridiculous clown cars and flash Elvis suits."
She tutted. Hmph.
6 p.m.
Just clothes to worry about now. Of course I haven't got a thing to wear. I do not know why I bother trying to look nice, as the love of my life is hundreds of miles away.
Ten minutes later
Maybe I will show up at the gig all sort of dressed down and with no makeup and with my usual crap hair. That will show everyone that I have only got eyes for the Lurve God, and also that I am not some tart trying to lure in…er, some other nameless, faceless tart. I will just go in a t-shirt and jimmy jammy pantaloons.
Two minutes later
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
7:45 p.m.
Off to the clock tower. I have got on a short black dress and it is quite hard to walk as it sort of smashes my thighs together. Also, I have got on quite strappy shoes which, as I explained to Mutti and Vati, are quite comfortable. And no, I will not fall and break my bum-oley.
But you can't tell parents.
7:50
Blimey O'Reilly's trousers, it is really difficult to walk. I will have to walk like those model types, even though it looks a bit daft.
7:55
Right so, step forward right leg, place in front of and slightly to the left of left leg. Step forward left leg, place in front off and slightly to the right of right leg. Step forward right leg…
8:00 p.m.
I got really into my new walking technique and didn't even notice how quickly I arrived at the clock tower. The Ace Gang were just looking at me like I was mad.
Which I am.
8:05 p.m.
Quick bout of "Let's Go Down the Disco," and we're off!
