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It's been two days, and Lance has only left the infirmary when he absolutely had to. He hasn't slept, he hasn't even taken the time to change out of his paladin uniform, no, he's only been there, first standing, then sitting down when his legs started aching, staring at Pidge in her pod.

He remembers Hunk coming in every once in a while, placing a plate with some food or a glass of lemonade or water next to him, and Lance ate and drank everything, not because he was hungry or thirsty. He can't even recall what it feels like to be hungry or thirsty. And Hunk's food and the drinks tasted like nothing in his mouth. Worse than nothing. But he did it for Hunk. Hunk was trying to help and Lance wanted to give him the feeling that there's something he can do. And that's something Lance can do for Hunk. It doesn't help, not really, but it makes this whole situation almost bearable. Almost. Well, not really.

He can't do anything for the others, though. Not for Shiro who almost stayed as long in the infirmary as he did on the first day until his duties called him away. He comes back whenever he can, though, staying for as long as he can. He then sits down next to Lance, staring at Pidge's pod just like he does, but every few minutes he sends a side glance at Lance. He can see it from the corner of his eye.

He can't do anything for Keith who shows up every few hours to check on Pidge. And on Lance, probably.

Lance can't do anything for Coran and Allura who take turns to check Pidge's vital signs although they are both trying to make him feel better, Coran by whistling some random, happy melody and Allura by saying that Pidge's vital signs are showing that she's on the road to recovery. Lance knows better, though. He's learned over the years to read the vital sign panel a bit, and he knows that Pidge isn't on the road to recovery. She's far from it. If Lance is being really optimistic, Pidge's health state is staying the same. It has never been so hard to be optimistic.

Lance lets out a long sigh and then wipes over his eyes with the back of his hand. They are starting to hurt from staring at Pidge's pod for too long. And from lack of sleep. And from holding back his tears. His back is aching, too, so Lance gets up and stretches. His eyes fall back on the pod, and as always he keeps his eyes on Pidge's face.

Gosh, she'd be so mad if she knew that he's extending the rules they both agreed on. No, actually he's breaking their rules. Rule number one, that is, the rule that they'd never let it show how much they mean to each other to the rest of the team. And him staying at the infirmary for two days straight speaks volumes. But he can still tell the others that he's just very, very worried and that he'd do it for any of them. Maybe they'll believe him. Or maybe they just won't tell Pidge when she wakes up. If...

He stops this thought before it can settle in and walks over to Pidge's pod, raising a hand and letting his fingers touch the cold surface over her cheek. If he concentrates really hard, he can feel it, the warmth, the smoothness of her skin.

The door opens, and Lance quickly moves his hand to the side of the pod, leaning against it. Now it looks like he needs to support himself looking at Pidge's face, which he almost does. His back is aching and his knees feel wobbly, but it's not enough to actually need support. But it's better to give that impression than to let someone else see that his fingers are gently touching the surface of the pod. No need to overdo that breaking rules-part, right?

Keith comes to a stop next to him, his eyes on Pidge's face, too. Lance can see it from the corner of his eye.

"You should get some sleep," he says after a few moments of silence.

Gosh, Lance knows . He's exhausted. But he's too afraid of the nightmares that sleep would bring. And of leaving Pidge.

"Can't," he replies flatly.

"Look," Keith goes on, "we all know what Pidge means to you, but driving yourself into the ground doesn't help anyone, least of all her."

Lance doesn't like how Keith says that they know what Pidge means to him. It makes the alarm bells ring in his head. He needs to backpedal, like, right now .

"She's one of my best friends, you know," he says.

Keith chuckles, but it sounds more like a sigh.

"You're still sticking to that?" Keith says, giving another of these sigh-chuckles that sound so totally wrong in Lance's ears.

So he turns his head to look at Keith, finding the other paladin already looking at him.

"What do you mean?" Lance asks, his mouth suddenly very dry.

"Dude, you love her," Keith says. He says it like stating a well-known fact, and a lump makes it to Lance's throat.

"And she loves you," Keith goes on.

"How-" Lance begins, but breaks off as the lump blocks out the rest of the words. He swallows hard, hoping that would make the lump ease a bit. It doesn't work, not really, but he needs to say something.

"How … long?" he manages to ask, his voice too low and too raspy.

Keith shrugs. "For quite a while. Heck, we even placed bets on when you two would finally figure it out."

Lance looks back at Pidge with wide eyes, his hand pressing against the pod so hard that it hurts.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asks. His voice is still raspy, but not quite as low as before.

"It wasn't our place. Besides, all your little signs of affection stopped all of a sudden and you two started tiptoeing around each other as if you had this agreement that you had to ignore your true feelings."

Lance feels laughter rumble in his chest. It's so wrong, so out of place, and it hurts so very much.

"Yeah," he says, "we did." He turns his head back to Keith. "Until this war is over."

Keith looks at him with a raised brow.

"Pretty stupid, huh?" Lance goes on, the laughter making it to his throat and working around the lump which almost chokes him.

"Yeah," Keith replies, "it is."

Lance looks at Keith, pressing his lips together as he tries to fight down the laughter. But then he can't hold back any longer and tilts his head back, the laughter bursting out of his mouth, and each second of it feels like a stab to his heart. And then the laughter stutters and comes to a hold only to be replaced by pants for air that turn into sobs.

Suddenly, he feels Keith's hand on his shoulders as the other paladin pulls him into a hug. And the fact that Keith, who isn't much of a hugger - never has been, never will be - is hugging him now , is all Lance needs to break down completely. He buries his face in Keith's chest, tears running down his cheeks, his body shaken by sobs. His fingers find Keith's jacket and he holds on to the fabric as if holding on to something would keep him from falling apart.