Chapter 4 – The Common Room

I woke up when the train was slowing down. I was lying on the bench, my head resting on something that smelled really good. It was soft, and I didn't want to get away from it. I just smelled so good.

It smells like… boy's perfume.

I opened my eyes and stared blankly at the wall opposite me, at my trunk under the bench and my clothes on the bench.

A voice I knew too well came to my ears. "You awake?"

I sat up stiffly and jerked away from him.

"What the hell? How did you know I was awake? And why was I sleeping on you?"

Too bad for the perfume.

"Well, I knew you were awake 'cause your breathing changed. And actually, you fell on me. I tried pushing you away but you wouldn't budge or wake up." he said.

"Whatever, you could have left."

"You could have woken up."

"You could have woken me up."

"You wouldn't wake up."

"Ugh!" I sighted while rolling my eyes.

I grabbed my trunk, annoyed because of our arguments and headed to Ginny's compartment.

How am I going to survive all year?

All my friends were there, ready to get off the train, and as soon as we came to a stop, we all jumped off. It was so good to see Hogwarts again, rising in the distance. Hagrid was there to collect the first years and I waved at him, smiling, knowing that this was the last time I would see him calling "Firs' years! Firs' years, this way please!". I turned around to get on the carriages and gasped.

Thestrals.

I thought I'd never live to see the day I'd be able to stare at one. I had seen death. The war was over now, and I wanted to forget it and I hoped the carriages would be the last reminders of it. Fortunately, others got scared too and it needed a bit of explaining to calm them down.

We got to the castle easily and sat on the benches for the start-of-year feast. It was delicious. Ginny kept giggling when Harry would whisper something in her ear, Luna was still saying weird comments and Neville was filling Seamus and Dean about his vacations. A lot of people congratulated me for my new Head Girl status and scowled when I told them Malfoy was Head Boy. Ron would frown at me sometimes and I did my best at ignoring him. Lavender spoke to Parvati in a high pitched voice that annoyed me so much, and I thanked Dumbledore for not being in their dormitory anymore. I glanced up at Malfoy once and caught him staring intensely at me. I narrowed my eyes at him and went back to my food and my discussion about shopping with Ginny. Finally, at the end of the feast, we all headed to our dormitories. The Heads was on the third floor. When I got in front of the portrait, I realized Malfoy hadn't given me the password, so I waited for him.

He'd better get here fast.

After ten minutes the blond-haired Slytherin showed his face.

"What's the password?" I asked him.

He ignored me. I decided to try again.

"Malfoy, may I have the password? Please?"

He looked at me and smiled.

"That's not the way to ask me, Granger." he said.

Puzzled, I looked up at him.

"You'll have to convince me to give it to you. Fortunately, it's written on this little piece of paper that I'm supposed to give you." he said.

Oh no. You're going to suffer, my friend.

I jumped on him and tried taking the password from him. "Give… me… that!" I said.

He was stronger than me and pushed me away without any efforts and laughing. I changed tactics.

"Um, Malfoy…" I said, while getting dangerously close to him. "What would you do…" I pushed him up against the wall. He raised his eyebrows and didn't resist. "if…" I leaned into him, on my toe tips, and whispered in his ear "I took it from you this way?"

I snatched the paper from him and got away. God does he ever smell good.

He just stood there, astonished, while I said the password to the Knight who was guarding the entrance and entered the common room. It was beautiful. A huge fireplace was waiting for the cold days to be lit, a table for homework was in the middle, surrounded by benches, and armchairs were sitting in front of the fireplace. The staircase to my room was on the right, and the one for his room was on the left. I ran up to my room and collapsed on the bed, without changing or even looking around me.

Around one a.m., I woke up lost again. Am I in my garden? But the sheets were soft and my eyes got used to the darkness. My room at Hogwarts. I lit some candles and stripped out of my clothes. I didn't open my trunk, I was just so exhausted. I lay there, motionless, naked, and once again heartbroken. It was night. All the memories of Ron struck me at once, and all the feelings of that night came bursting from their buried place in my heart. Again, I cried. I cried because he was torturing me, because I felt stupid, because I hated being with Malfoy, because the world sucked. I cried because I didn't believe in love anymore. I didn't seem to calm down, but tiredness swooped over me and I fell into horrible dreams.

I was dreaming of Ron, Lavender, Bellatrix, Voldemort. I was trying to fight but my wand wouldn't answer my commands, so I tried to run but my feet were bound to the ground. After a few minutes of struggling, somebody shot a Killing Curse to me, and finally, finally, I died. The last thing I saw was Ron kissing Lavender and Bellatrix shouting "Mudblood" at me.