Smexy Championship
Oops! Sorry about the tuppence thingy! I was never good at paying attention, aheh heh heh…(O.O)
Hurrah! I'm back! Back again! Guess who's back! Shadi's back! Bwaahahahahahahahahahahaha! Shadi…Bwhahahaha! That other Yugioh character instead of slim shady! I think that's how you spell it…I don't own or have any relations with slim shady, and no, he isn't used in this chapter!
Hmmm… NOPE! I'm not telling who's going to win! No matter what! If you truly love me (my story), than you will keep reading no matter what! Bwahahahaha! But don't be scared to keep your hopes up! Anything is possible (well, not really), and I love to keep my readers happy!
Next chapter is last chapter, so you will find out soon!
I looooooooooooove this story! I know a lot of people don't read it, but I laugh so hard while writing it! It's hilarious! And the best part is! It gets better! But I promise the sequel is going to be funny too! Maybe funnier! Well, the last chappie for sure! Here's a spoiler! The sequel has a REALLY BIG twist ending! Bweahahahahahaha!
Chapter 4: GO SMELL A CARPET YOU MOTH- (editor comes in and punches my mouth off.) I mean… the chapter title is called, (O.O) "Obstacle course?" What a lame title! Gosh! I'm losing my touch! (Actually, I just couldn't think of a good enough one!)
"SO! Who wants a hamburger?"
"I ate"-
"Who cares what you did! NOW EAT THIS!" The King of the world shoved a burger down Dukes throat.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It burns!"
(O.O)
"OH shut up! No body likes a person that talks about them self Duke! I'm dieing this, and I'm burning that! I'm sick of it! You better change your attitude or you won't win!"
Everyone stared at the king as they made themselves comfortable around the table.
"Now… has anyone seen Kaiba?"
"Nope!"
Just then the door to Mcdnlds burst open with a giant flash of lightning, as rain poured through the entrance. An evil laugh could be heard coming from the dark sinister being at the door. The being took out his hand from his pocket, flashing a knife that seemed to be covered in something red. The face of the being was covered by a pinstriped hat, but the evil glow of his demonic eyes could be seen.
Everyone in the restaurant froze in fear, as they waited to what the murderous man would do next. Chop them in half… perhaps…
"FEAR ME!" He cried!
Everyone screamed and tried to duck under the tables, all except one.
"Something seems familiar about him…" Yugi got up, and headed over to the figure. "OH! I knew it! It's OK everyone! It's only Kaiba."
"I'm not Kaiba."
"Yes you are!"
"No I'm not!"
"Whatever! Now come on! I'm hungry!"
Just then, the doors to the bathroom opened, and a figure stumbled out. "I'm never eating 68 tacos again!" The figure clutched his stomach and looked at the seen before him. "What in the world?"
(O.O) "Seto? How did you get in the bathroom? You've been at the door with that bloody knife!"
"What? No, I've been in the bathroom the whole time!"
Uh…oh!
"Than who's that?"
"OH! Why, I don't know!"
"Hmmm… a new guy then, eh? Than I should be polite and give him a proper greeting." Yugi stepped back up to the evil guy and gave him a proper greeting. He bowed low, while taking off his hat in a grand swipe.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The man cried upon seeing Yugi's … hairstyle. He ran out the door never to be seen again, or will he?
THAT'S IT! I'M MAKING A SANDWHICH! I'LL CONTINUE WRITING THIS IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR!"
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OK, reading this over, I have found it to be a very bad start, so I will be making it better from here forth!
"Already! Now, I would like to eat lunch before I explain the rules today, so I will tell you only one thing! It is an active activity, so you better hope you are fit! Now lets eat!"
Hmmm…I could use this to advantage! Ok…the grandpa dude is obviously already not fit, Yugi's a shrimp that always gets picked last in gym, so all that leaves is…DUKE! I will make him unfit if it's the last thing I do! Bwahahahahahahaha!
"Excuse me for a moment guys!" Kaiba got out from his chair, and made his way to the cashier.
"Hello, how may I help you?"
"Yes, I would like 60 triple deluxes, with chocolate bars instead of lettuce, 25 large French fries seasoned with fat than salt, and 2 large drinks of melted butter!"
(O.O) "I hope you're not planning on eating that with your other friends! It could kill you!"
"No, don't worry, me nor my friends are eating it… that guy is!" He jabbed a finger in the direction of Duke.
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"I'm back!"
"WOW! Are you going to eat all that Kaiba?"
"Of course not! I bought it for Duke!"
"But… I don't want anything to eat! And I never asked for anything!"
"HMPH! So… I do something nice for you, and you won't even accept it! You make me feel awful! Here I am, going out of my way to buy you a good meal, and you won't even eat it all, let alone try it! I'm insulted!"
Duke gave a nervous look towards the king of the world.
"You know Duke, Mr.Smexy Universe is supposed to be a nice generous man, but you're being mean to someone else! I'm telling you, if you want to win, you better change your attitude!"
Duke sighed in defeat. "OK Kaiba…I'll except your lunch…"
He took the tray from Seto, which just about brought him through the floor. "Ouch!"
"SHUT UP AND EAT!"
(O.O)
"Ummm… (cough,cough), I mean, please, take your time!"
30 minutes later:
"NOT THAT MUCH TIME YOU RETARD!"
"I'm sorry, but I'm really not hungry!"
"Oh, well in that case, I believe the only thing left to do is be a reasonable business man and-SHOVE EVERYTHING DOWN YOUR THROAT AT ONCE!"
Kaiba grabbed the tray of food, and shoved it in Dukes mouth. (Holy COW! Duke must have a really big mouth!) "Swallow damnit! Swallow!"
Unfortunately, Duke DIDN'T have a big mouth, so a large amount of pain was consuming him at the moment.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It burns!" (choke choke choke)
"SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP and EAT!"
…
…
…
Everyone watched in amazement as Kaiba continued to shove food down Dukes throat. Would anyone help Duke?"
Obviously no.
GGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
"AHHHHHHH! It HURTS!"
"Did you enjoy your meal?"
"NO!"
"GRRRRRRR! Well, I'm sure butter soda will make it better!"
"Umm, no! I don't think"-
"DRINK!"
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"Oh my god!" Duke said with a rather muffled voice. You may be wondering why it is muffled. Well, when one eats over twenty eight billion tons worth of calories, ones vocal tube gets stuffed with fat!
"Bwahahaha!" Now my fate is sealed! I will win!"
"OK! Now that everyone is finished eating, why don't I get into the next part of the contest?"
"That's a great idea Mr. King of the world!"
(O.O) "O…K… Well, as you know, it's an active activity! It will be an obstacle course!"
"HOORAY!"
"Oh no!" Groaned Duke. He could barely twitch his finger, now he had to do an obstacle curse!
"This obstacle course will be HORRIBLY difficult! And VERY long! Not to mention, uses lots of physical activity!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Duke.
"Mheh heh heh!" Laughed Kaiba.
"BUT! You will be doing it in partners!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Kaiba.
"Mheh heh heh!" Laughed Duke.
"Yes, and the partners will be chosen RANDOMLY! Or, to put it in scientific terms, by me! And here's the catch! The two partners that win this obstacle course will move on to the final round, TOGETHER!"
"This is shit!"
"Watch your mouth or I will have to fill it with shit!"
"Don't say shit to me!"
"But you just said shit!"
"I didn't say shit!"
"You just said shit!"
"What the shit are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about shit!"
"SHUT THE FRIGGEN SHIT UP OR I WILL DISQUALIFY YOU TWO SHITS!"
(O.O) "Sorry."
"Anyways, the obstacle course will start at five am tomorrow. It is located at the Hindikaui islands! You must be there or you will not win!"
"Ummm… sir, what if you're to poor to go all the way to the Hindikaui islands?"
"GOD YUGI! Stop complaining about being a hobo! Look at your grandpa! He's an even bigger hobo than you and he isn't complaining!"
"Actually, I have been complaining this whole time! But no one has been listening to me!"
"Who was that?"
sigh…
"Oh FINE! I'll book a plane for tomorrow, K?"
"Yippee!"
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Unfortunately, the plane crashed killing Yugi Mouto. But, fortunately, the plane left without grandpa so he is still alive.
"Well this puts a damper on things, doesn't it?"
"Sure."
"Now, we can't have partners!"
"Sure."
"It's so unfair!"
"Sure."
"Why do you keep saying that Seto?"
"Sure."
( . ) "Hmmm… will you be my bitch?"
"Sure."
(O.O) "Well, that worked inexcusably well!"
"Sure."
"Hey everyone! I arrived!"
"Seto? But you're standing right over here! How can that be you?"
"Oh, that thing? That's a life size robot of me I made, but it's a piece of crap because all it says is 'sure'."
(--) "That is odd. But let's get down to business! Tomorrow morning, really early, you will go do that obstacle course over there. BEWARE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
(O.o) "Ummm… it's only a tire course, some netting and a slide."
"BEWARE! BWAHAHAYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" With that, the king of the world vanished in a swishing movement of his cape.
All the remaining contestants were stuck on this island for the rest of the day. (grandpa rolled there). Now, what could they (by which I mean Seto), do to kill time? Cheat of course!
While grandpa led Duke in a jog to help burn weight, Seto advanced to the obstacle course.
"Mheh heh heh! I'll just make an adjustment here, and here and Voila! I'm sure to win! Hmmm… I won't change grandpa's cause than if he comes in second, I'll have a better chance of winning! Hooray!"
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"OK! So, instead of partners, you will be doing it separately! Now, GO!"
() "Ummm… nobody is here yet, and the contest doesn't start for another four hours."
"Oh! Right! I knew that"
(--) "Whatever…"
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"Is everyone ready? Good! Now, on my mark, get set, GO!"
And they were off! The last three contestants running for their lives! Most literally too! Seeing as a pack of dogs was let after them.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
There were six dogs, and they were supposed to chase after each contestant in pairs. Giving each contestant two dogs to run from. Unfortunately, they all ran after the same person, that person being Duke.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Mheh heh heh!" Smirked Kaiba as he ran through his course.
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Kaiba's course:
Kaiba ran to the line of zigzagging tires.
"Piece of ca-WHAT THE HELL?"
Pieces of cake started flying at Kaiba from everywhere.
"OH MY GOD!" He screamed.
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Grandpa's course:
Grandpa headed toward the tires.
"Oh dear! My poor back can't handle all this exercise! I guess I'll have to be practical than."
Grandpa took out an ax and started cutting a nearby tree.
(O.O) How odd.
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Dukes Course:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS THE WORSE PAIN I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH MY LEGS! MY LEGS!"
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Kaiba's course:
Finally the flying cake had come to a halt, as well as he had finished the tires. Now he had to crawl under the netting.
"Pft! A little dirt never hurt anybody!"
He dropped to the ground and crawled under the netting which was maybe a quarter meter off the ground. It lay as a blanket across the field.
But once again, Kaiba spoke too soon.
All the dirt around him started blowing up. Wave after wave of dirt went EVERWHERE! And it really did hurt seeing as explosions were happening under Kaiba who was pinned to the ground by netting.
"HOLY SHIT!"
From far away: a person walking by would see dirt flying fifty feet high, than come crashing down, twice a second.
"MY EYES! MY EYES! It's sooo… DIRTY!"
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grandpa's course:
The log cutting was going nicely.
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Duke's course:
"Thank god that's over!" he huffed. "Now, I just need to climb up that mountain like the obstacle course says.
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Kaiba: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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grandpa: chop chop chop
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Duke: now, it says I need to head into that volcano.
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Kaiba:
"I never want to see dirt again! But fortunately, all that's left is the slide. At least it doesn't have spirals!"
As Kaiba climbed onto the slide and started sliding down the flat surface, the ground opened up. Out of the ground came an extended version of the slide that had so many death spirals it would be impossible to count.
"DEAR GOD!"
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Grandpa: Fewf! Now it's finished! And I can get back to the obstacle course!"
Grandpa ran through the tires, crawled under the net and headed for the slide.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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Duke:
"Can't…go…ON!"
Duke climbed to the top of the volcano somewhere in Hawaii and sighed. (more like hyper ventilated)
"TOO ……..FAT!"
He stood at the edge of the volcano and looked for the next obstacle course stage.
Unfortunately for him, the dogs caught his sent and were once again chasing him.
"no-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
As we all know, when dogs chase after you, you tend to want to run away. As we all know, Duke was standing on the edge of a volcano. And as we all know, Duke was SO fat, that he has absolutely no balance abilities at all!
Need I explain more?
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"And the winner is Grandpa!"
"Ho Ho!"
Out of nowhere, Kaiba smashed into the ground.
…groan…
(O.O) "Where did you come from?"
"Hell."
"Oh, that would explain a few things. But anyway! We have our two winners! So, no matter what, Duke is disqualified! Grandpa and Kaiba go onto the next round!"
"Hooray!"
"By the way… where is Duke?"
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Duke:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
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"Nowhere!" Kaiba stated quickly.
"Hmmm… normally such matters as a missing teen would be reported to the police, but seeing as no one really cares, I'll let this slide."
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Somewhere where no one else has ventured before:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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"Any who! Tomorrow is the big day! We get to find out who the smexy champion is! So get home and snuggle up!"
(O.O)
"What I meant was…Oh screw it! Just go home you wanna be losers!"
( . ) "HEY!"
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AC: OMG! That chappie is finally finished! It took sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long to finish! I kept writing it, than putting it in halt! Major block!
But it's over and one more chapter to go! Yeah! Do you want a sequel? Depending on if anybody wants one, I will write it! I will eventually have one, but if no one is that interested, I will put it off a bit. I have like five other stories I'm working on!
Happy Fridays!
