A/N: Hey everyone~ this one's a shorter again for pacing reasons, so I figured I'd post this one early so next chapter will be another big one. Now, this chapter is even more intense than the last. It touches on some pretty serious and sensitive topics...

Enjoy reading! And please remember to follow, favourite and/or review!

Summary: Vampires are real. I attend Cross Academy, a school where the student body is populated by the human Day Class, and the vampire Night Class. This was all supposed to be fiction. A story I read for entertainment. But it's real. It's all real. SI, OC Insert.

Disclaimer: Everything to do with Vampire Knight is owned by Matsuri Hino. I only own my OC Maya.

Warning: this fanfiction includes dark themes, swearing, mentions of death, serious injury, murder and suicide.


Chapter 4 - "You're An Idiot"


I laid, curled up in a ball, on the infirmary bed for hours after I woke up.

Katsumi was still absent, so the Chairman, oddly enough, was taking care of me. He offered me water and food, but he never asked if I was okay. Something that quite honestly? I was thankful for. Because I'm really not okay, at the moment.

I've been trying not to think about it, but it feels like every time I close my eye lids, the memories of last night start playing in my mind's eye. So I've taken to just staring at the white wall.

I was also crying in my sleep apparently, because when I woke up, the pillow beneath my head was damp. The tears were beginning to dry now that the logical part of my brain had begun processing the events of night before. The rest of mind, however, still felt like it was in shambles. I haven't even spoken since I woke up not long after Yuuki and I were brought to infirmary by Kaname.

But to be honest, what happened to me last night was the least of my worries at the moment.

To start, I had no idea what the Chairman was going to do with me now - hell, why he didn't expel/transfer me earlier is still a mystery to me - and then there was the whole fact that I 'messed up the god damn story line! Again.

Seriously, brain? WHAT THE HELL. YUUKI WAS SUPPOSED TO GET BITTEN. It started a chain reaction of a whole bunch of other events down the line! But nooooo, my conscience has to butt it's big stupid head in!

Seriously, fuck my conscience sometimes. It always gets me into the shittiest situations! These are peoples lives.

Not to mention Zero's whole suicide-

Fuck. Oh fuck.

That happens today.

Jesus Christ, can I not get five seconds to rest?! Apparently not at fucking Cross Academy.

God, I hate this school.

The Chairman had left earlier, something about a meeting, so I dragged myself out of bed, testing my limbs - while they were a little stiff, I didn't feel as light headed as I thought I would - then looked around to find my uniform, and while everything else was there, my (probably bloody) shirt was gone.

Great. I can't walk around in a hospital dress. Or topless. No freaking thank you. I opened a cupboard by the nurse's desk, searching. I could swear I left my clothes from the night of the 'incident' here- aha!

My jeans, black shirt and purple scarf were laying, folded (and clean, thankfully), in the bottom of the cupboard. I quickly pulled the shirt over my head, then threw on my school blazer and wrapped my scarf around my neck to cover the bandages, then I headed out.


I ran flat out to the Sun Dorms, by the time I reached the male section, I was almost collapsing on the stairs - god, why the fuck does this place not have elevators?!

Oh, and quick note. If you're wondering how I know where Zero's room is, let's just say I took a quick (probably illegal) peek at his medical file. Shut up. Just let me be a stupid idiot again.

Breathing heavily, I came to a stop at his dorm room door, and leaning on the frame, I took a second to try and catch my breath - where the hell is Yuuki, damn it?!

That was when I heard an ominous click from behind the door, my eyes widened. I know that sound.

NO-!

Gasping in a lung full of air, I burst into the room to see Zero in casual clothing sitting on the bed and pointing the Bloody Rose at his head, a look of defeat on his face.

Holy- "NO!" I shouted, using my momentum to continue running towards him. He looked up in shock as I grabbed the gun, then he flipped me over onto the bed and turned the gun to his neck, my hand now in the grip.

"Shoot me"

I stared up at him, breathing still coming out in gasps, my eyes wide as he leaned over me.

"Shoot me before I hurt anyone else"

Shocked at what he was asking me to do, I decided to focus on forcing my breathing to slow down. To think through this logically and rationally... though all the while, my heart was beating like a scared rabbit.

"Kill me"

I gritted my teeth, anger boiling up within me at the request.

Either not seeing or just ignoring it, Zero reached forward and pulled at the bandages around my neck underneath the loosely wrapped scarf, exposing the bite marks on my neck.

"You must have heard it, right? The sound I made when I was feeding on your blood?"

I narrowed my eyes, a frown furrowing my brow as the anger turned into empathy.

"How could you be okay after a horrible experience like that?"

... why is he telling me this? Asking me this?

"I can't stop myself from feeding on blood. I don't even know if I'll kill the next human I prey on"

... I mean, I barely even know him.

"Just shoot me now!" he demanded "you're actually afraid of me right?"

Well. So much for logically and rationally.

"Shut up" I hissed, the anger flaring back up, and he flinched at my sharp tone "just fucking shut up"

"How could you ask that of me? Of anyone? How could you try to do that yourself?" I accused, glaring at him "did you even think about what that would do to Yuuki? To the Chairman? To anyone other than yourself?! Suicide is the cowards' way out... and I never took Kiryuu Zero for a coward"

He stared at me with wide, shocked eyes as I spoke. I didn't pull any punches. I told him exactly what I thought of his suicide attempt - of any suicide attempt.

"How could you even think of doing that?" I asked, voice breaking "why the hell would you want to just throw away your life like that? This messed up world would be a sadder place without you, you idiot! For fuck's sake-!" I broke off.

He stood, the shocked look still on his face as his hold on my hand slipped and the Bloody Rose landed on my stomach.

Then he lowered his eyes, grabbed the bag sitting on the bed and just walked out.

I laid there, his gun clutched in my hand for few seconds, trying to collect myself as I stared up at the ceiling.

What the fuck is wrong with these people.

Stupid fucking clusterfucks. Everything is in this fucking anime- manga- whatever.

All of it. Clusterfucks.

I sniffed, moving into a sitting position as tears began running down my face.

What the hell, Zero? What the hell?

I looked up from staring at the gun in my lap, to look around the room.

It was empty. Oh great. Now I remember. He's running away.

What. I can't remember freaking everything!

On autopilot, I didn't even realize I'd dropped the gun, and was up and running again until I felt the wind whipping past my face as I ran down the moonlit path to the Academy's gates.

"You're an idiot!" I yelled, seeing him walking in the distance. He stopped so fast I almost ran into him, I would've fallen over if he hadn't dropped his bag and grabbed my arms to steady me - god, since when the hell was I so clumsy?

"You're such a fucking idiot!" I hiccuped, tears pooling in my eyes and running down my cheeks "I just said I didn't want you to die - so you just try and fucking leave?!"

Why the hell are my emotions going crazy like this? Is it a side effect of the blood loss?

I grabbed his shirt with both hands "who the hell said you could even give up anyway?!"

Yep. Blood loss. That's my explanation for this.

I could feel his eyes staring down at me, so I looked up to meet them, more words on the tip of my tongue. I almost choked when I saw the pain and confusion in his eyes.

Like he couldn't understand why I was trying to save him.

"Everything is fine already..." I forced out, trying to push aside the shock I felt from him looking at me like that.

No one should feel that lost... fuck... why did I let this get this far? I should know better.

"You don't-" he tried, weakly.

"I don't, what? Understand?" I asked, almost choking up and crying again "I know, okay? I know this school has secrets. I know that you're part of it. I know that something... happened a long time ago, and now you're changed because of it"

"I know you saved my life that night I- I lost my memory" I admitted, my right hand reaching up to rest on my scarred left shoulder "without you, who's going to protect all the humans here from what you know is inevitable? Don't say Yuuki. Because she might put up a good front, but after the shock of last night, she's barely holding on as it is - she needs her family and friends right now, Zero. Running away from your problems never solves anything - how do you think I ended up here?"

He stayed silent, just staring in disbelief. Understandably. I don't think I've ever said so many words at once, let alone revealed so much about myself all at the same time.

This is going to be so hard to explain later...

"But we're friends, aren't we?" I sniffed, pushing up my glasses a little to wipe away the tears with my sleeve before looking back up "I stick by the people I care about... cause I'm not about to loose any more of them. I just can't. Not again. I can't, and neither can you"

"You-" he began, but before he could say anything else, I had wrapped my arms around him.

Something which I'm pretty sure was really awkward - we both know I never initiate a hug, since I'm the no-touch type (unless in dire circumstances) - and I decided that later I would have to swear him to secrecy. Also Yuuki too, now that I think about it...

But for now... I, the forever anti-social girl, don't mind just staying here like this until he decides not to run off to parts unknown.

Bloody idiot.


Chapter End


A/N: Sorry it's so short, the next chapter's bigger. And yes, I'm stealing more of Yuuki's thunder. It's a bad habit of mine apparently.

Please remember to follow, favourite and/or review! It keeps me motivated!

Thanks,

Milley02