Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or Twilight.

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"He's almost as intelligent as a human."

From his place on their bed, Jacob didn't know whether to be insulted or complimented.

From where they were lying on the stomach on the ground, Chloe and Lois gave him thoughtful looks during their drinking session. Apparently, due to the fact that Chloe's mutation did its best to try and filter what it considered poison (alcohol) out of her system rapidly, and Lois' being half demon and thus more invulnerable to things...well...it took more than the average amount of alcohol to get either drunk, and they took advantage of said facts, drinking copious amount of alcohol that would have killed them had they been normal humans.

"Well, General Peabody has finally deigned to let you have the door sensor for Wolfie." Lois announced, taking a deep sip of their heavily vodka'ed vodka blush. "Course, could be the fact that Wolfie destroyed the last door you had to get to you when the base alarms went off."

Chloe grinned, looking towards her now repaired door. "I can't figure out how he did that. Those doors are metal."

"Seriously." Lois agreed, though seemed quite proud and impressed. "Even Clark was talking about it. Of course I didn't appreciate it at the moment because I'd been trying to get some and all he wanted to do was talk...but I found a way to get both done."

Chloe drank the whole cup of vodka blush in one long sip. "God, I hate it when you start talking about you and Clark and the bunny-sex you two have all over this base."

"Prude." Lois chuckled.

"No. Envious." Chloe corrected, grabbing the third bottle of gray goose they'd nearly emptied that night, and pouring the rest of it into the large (now almost empty) container of Vodka Blush that they'd brought and had started drinking after finishing their large pitcher of Fuck Me Sideways. "Do you know how long it's been since I've had any?"

Jacob went still on their bed.

He didn't want to hear this.

He really didn't want to hear this!

"Two years?" Lois guessed.

Chloe's only answer was to finish the rest of the drink in the pitcher with vengeance.

"No!" Lois gasped, finally looking a little tipsy. "It can't be more!"

"Try since I died."

"Four?" Lois yelled loudly, eyes wide in disbelief. "No! I refuse to believe that anyone could go that long without getting any!"

Chloe gave a little moan.

Jacob looked between the cousins.

Lois blinked. "Are you telling me that the last person you did the dirty tango with was Clark?"

Jacob's eyes went wide.

Clark?

A growl rumbled in his throat.

None of the women noticed.

"Kal." Chloe corrected, confusing Jacob. "You know that when Clark's under red k he's a completely different person." She looked up at the ceiling. "I have never been with Clark Kent, but I have been with Kal El."

"A lot." Lois mumbled, reaching for the bottle of rum.

"That was before he met you, Lo." Chloe rolled her eyes. "It was before I died."

"I know." Lois nodded, taking a long sip from the bottle. "I also know that Clark blames himself for your death. Kal did too. That was why he took off his red k ring and never went near it again."

Jacob narrowed his eyes.

So when Clark got into contact with a red ring he turned into someone else.

Someone else who'd been with Chloe.

Someone else who...who'd been the reason Chloe had died.

The growl he let out this time was noticed by the girls who turned to look at him.

"You okay, Big Boy?" Chloe asked, tilting her head to the right and then...toppling over onto the ground...bursting into giggles as she just lay there.

Lois sniggered as she took another gulp of her rum.

Jacob sighed as he jumped down from the bed, going towards the giggling, prostrate girl and nudging her with his nose.

You okay?

Chloe giggled and nudged him back, rubbing her face in his muzzle. "I'm fine you big worry wort."

Jacob sniffed her, making a face at the stench of alcohol rising from her.

You've drunk too much.

"He looks like a mom right now." Lois sniggered from where she'd laid down as well, drinking her rum happily, the alcohol finally taking effect.

"He's always worrying about me." Chloe grinned, encircling her arms around his neck and pulling him close, pressing a kiss to his fur. "Why can't you be a guy? You'd be perfect for me."

Jacob whimpered, closing his eyes.

Don't say that.

Please.

Not now.

Not when I'm like this.

She giggled, completely oblivious to his inner monologue, pressing another kiss to his fur before pushing away and grabbing one of the bottle of vodka.

Jacob sighed as he watched her.

This really wasn't healthy for her.

Chloe ignored him, giggling as she began to drink.

Jacob sighed as he went towards the intercom system by the door and pressed a button with his nose, eyeing the screen.

At first there was nothing but a black screen, and then an image flittered on.

"I'm not going to ask how you know how to work the intercom system." Clark Kent sighed on the screen. "I'm just guessing that they've gone overboard again in the quest to become drunk."

Jacob sighed and looked behind him at the girls, who'd bursted out into loud after Lois had accidentally broken Chloe's coffee table with that brute strength she had.

Clark winced. "I see." In a second he was gone from the screen and appeared by the front door, striding in and sighing as he paused and looked at the cousins giggling on the ground. "Oh boy."

Jacob sat down and looked at Clark, wondering about this Kal.

"Baby!" Lois giggled, waving her rum bottle around. "Want some?"

Clark smiled tenderly at his wife. "Lo, I think you drank enough for both of us."

"Not entirely, yet." She took another long gulp.

Clark sighed. "We have a mission in the morning, and you two find nothing better than to get drunk the night before?"

"Don't be such a boy scout, Clark." Chloe sniggered, sloshing some drink around. "The 'cohol will be out of our system long before we leave on the mission."

"I'm not worried about you two." Clark retorted, going to pick up his wife, pulling her into his arms. "I'm worried about the wolf and me. We're the ones who are going to have to take care of you two drunken brats."

Jacob sighed, agreeing with that.

"I would offer to help you, but the Wolf wouldn't like it." Clark smirked to Jacob. "See you two tomorrow."

And with that he was gone.

Jacob sighed and went to sit down next to Chloe as she continued to drink on the ground, though more subdued now.

"It's going to be your first mission with us, tomorrow." She announced as if he didn't know this already. "You're going to be alright. You're very smart. Smarter than most humans I know."

Jacob laid down, resting his head on her stomach.

"I'm a mess, you know." She laughed darkly. "Do you know how I died?" She snorted. "Of course you don't."

Jacob looked up.

He knew how she'd died.

Lana had told him.

A meteor freak had killed her.

What he didn't get was why Clark's alternate personality blamed himself for it.

"It was stupid, really." Chloe sighed, taking a very long gulp of her vodka, looking at the ceiling. "I was investigating some weird occurrences, and I was warned by the person committing them that he didn't want me to get hurt, but if I continued sticking my nose into it I was going to get hurt and it would be no one else's fault but mine. He was right. Even Kal wouldn't have anything to do with the investigation, but I'd gotten this feeling of invincibility and I went down that mine shaft."

Mine shaft?

"The meteor freak could make things explode." Chloe took another long sip. "His power was out of control, and he'd realized he was going to explode. He'd gone to the mine so that when he exploded he wouldn't hurt anyone."

Jacob watched her in silence, eyes widening in horror as finally he got the whole question.

"It was a mine shaft filled with meteor rocks." Chloe wiped at a silent tear trailing down her cheek. "The last thing he said before he exploded was he was sorry." She took in a deep breath. "The explosion didn't kill me, inhaling the meteor rock dust and suffocating on it did."

He couldn't believe it, couldn't imagine what she must have gone through.

"I woke up a while later. It was, it was weird." Chloe put down her bottle and turned so that she was looking at Jacob. "Everything was black, but I---I kept hearing Jacob's voice."

Jake went still, eyes wide.

"I don't know why his voice out of everyone's but I heard him crying, shaking me, telling me I shouldn't be dead." She wiped at another tear. "Next thing I know, I'm waking up in the coffin, and the lock has been broken on it, and the earth is soft above me." She whispered. "It shouldn't have been so soft, as if they'd just put me in the earth, but it was, and I was able to climb out. If it hadn't been that soft I wouldn't have been able to get out, and I would have suffocated before making it to the surface."

Jacob stood still, unable to believe it.

"Clark heard me crying and superspeeded to the grave in time for Dorian to find me." She gulped. "Dorian offered me protection, reminded me that I was dead for everyone I knew...and I left with him. Later on, after graduation, Clark joined as well...but...yeah." She grabbed the bottle again and took a very long gulp.

Jacob wished he was human right now, so he could drink from that bottle as well.

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