POV: Anakin Skywalker
I lifted my head from the table to see Ahsoka lying on my legs, her face directly beneath mine. I groaned, rubbing my temples. "Hey, Snips, are you up?"
"No," she mumbled.
"How long have we been here?"
She sat up, lifting her back from my knees. "Three hours."
"Damn, we've been in this booth for three hours?"
She stretched for a moment before laying back down on me. I stared at her tired, blue eyes. I gently stroked her cheek. "Get some rest, Snips. I'll wake you up when Obi-Wan gets here."
She smiled, nodding slowly as her eyelids began to droop.
I leaned my head back, hoping that the pounding in my head might lessen. My nostrils began to burn like hell and my heart beat like it wanted to burst out of my chest. "No more drugs," she whispered.
She gripped my shaking flesh hand, opening her eyes. I hadn't even realized how horribly my entire body had been shaking. "We're going to get you through this, Master."
"I can't not take them. I need them."
"No, you don't. I'm going to help you like you helped me. I'm going to help you destroy this addiction."
I closed my eyes, both of my hands trembling frantically. My comlink began to beep and, after a few moments, it grew annoying. I groaned, tapping my wrist. "Skywalker."
"Anakin, my fleet has arrived to pick you up. Where are you?"
"Mos Eisley."
"All right. I'm sending Cody down with a transport."
"We'll be here," I responded, closing the link right after. Ahsoka lifted herself off of me, sliding out of the booth. I slid out after her and walked outside behind her. I stood in the bright sun while she attempted to hide in the shade of a merchant's stand.
Within minutes, a clone transport came into view. "Master Kenobi is going to know that something's up with you. You look like a mess."
"I blame it on exhaustion."
"If you head to our quarters and clean yourself up, I'll tell him you're really tired."
"I have to write the kriffing report for the Council…" I sighed.
She stepped forward, coming closer to me, smiling. "I don't mind writing it. I've watched you do it enough times."
The transport landed in front of us and the door slid open. Obi-Wan's commander saluted us – showing respect for Ahsoka despite the fact that they shared the same rank. "I heard that you needed a lift."
"You heard correctly," I chuckled. Ahsoka stepped onto the transport first. I walked up behind her, resting my hand on her shoulder. We reached up, gripping the handles as the ship took off.
Her ass pressed against me, sending a shuddering wave of pleasure through my body. I closed my eyes and moaned softly. Stang! This was the drug messing with me. Never in my right mind would I think about frakking her. She's too innocent and I care too much about her to even consider doing that to her.
We were both way too messed up either way. I'm pretty sure she's in a far better state than I am right now.
I felt her tense up in my one-handed grip. She tilted her head back to glance up at me. She mouthed 'are you okay?'
I shook my head, squeezing her shoulder. "Later, okay?" I whispered.
She nodded, returning to her previous position. She did relax under my hand and that was such a nice feeling. Six months earlier, she would have flinched away from me and begun screaming. Now, she would freely allow me to touch her – appropriately, of course.
The transport landed on Obi-Wan's cruiser and we stepped out. "Thanks for the lift, Cody," I called out to him as he began to head towards his station. I lightly gripped Ahsoka's shoulder. "I'm going to take a shower, Snips. Tell Obi-Wan I'll speak with him later."
She nodded slowly. "No more drugs, please…" she begged.
"There aren't any in this cruiser, so you have nothing to worry about."
Again, she nodded. I released her and she began walking towards the exit leading to the bridge. I went in the opposite direction, heading towards the quarters we shared while we were here.
I entered the room and began to remove my armor piece. I threw the chest piece and connected shoulder pads into the shower, cringing as they made loud noises on the shower floor. I decided that they needed to be washed off as well. I stripped down to my bare skin, stepping into the shower.
I turned the water on, moaning as it washed over my body. My thoughts began to wander – probably because of the drugs. Immediately, I saw Ahsoka's face and well-curved body. Before I could dispel the image, my lower half jumped in excitement. "Damn. Me," I whispered, closing my eyes.
"This is pathetic," I told myself. "How do you get an erection for a girl so young and fragile?"
The answer to that: I grew too close to her. In the last six months, we've bonded. We learned how to connect our minds – like Obi-Wan and I had during my apprenticeship – and we could hear bits and pieces to the other's thoughts. Ahsoka began to trust me after I'd held her for hours, telling her that cutting herself was not an option.
I'd caught her cutting herself twice after the initial slicing of her hip.
One night, she'd accidentally fallen asleep and the knife had gone into her leg. She was just lucky that I had walked in when I did. I sighed. Lots of blood.
The shaking of my body just wouldn't stop and I didn't know how much longer I could take it. I fell down, sitting on the shower floor.
I held my head in my hands, groaning in agony as my heart began to race faster and faster. The pounding in my head and the burning in my nostrils grew stronger, making me feel trapped within myself and coming closer to the edge every moment.
I heard faint footsteps outside of the refresher. "Master?" she whispered. "Are you in there?"
"Ah – ah – Ahsok…" I stuttered, beginning to whimper.
The door hissed and a towel was thrown into the shower – despite the running water. I had luckily calmed myself prior to her entry. The erection was gone and I prayed that it wouldn't return as long as she was still in here with me.
I threw the towel over my lower half. "Ahsoka –" I managed to gasp.
She dove into the shower, running her hands through my soaking hair. I continued to shake. "Master, try to relax," she whispered, stroking my cheek. Her hand trailed down my neck and across my shoulder.
I slammed my hand over the towel, pressing my erected member down. I threw my head back, panting. All of my needs were hitting me at the same kriffing time. "Damn it!"
"What?" she asked, shocked and confused.
"Frak me!"
I felt her come closer to me. Her hand grabbed me and my panting became heavier and quicker.
"Is this how you feel about me?" she whispered.
"The drug," I moaned through my delusional thought process.
"Master, I can't –"
Despite her words, her grip tightened around me. The sensation disappeared as her fear became the dominant feeling.
She backed away, staring at my face. "I don't want to have sex…" she whispered. She leaned forward only to turn the water off.
I breathed slowly, trying to relax my mind and body. I leaned my head back against the shower wall. "I don't know why I said that. I'm so sorry, Ahsoka."
She continued to stare at my face until her expression softened and the fear dissipated. She knelt down in front of me. "This is exactly why we need to get you off of the drugs. They're making you delirious and hallucinate."
I nodded slowly as she stood back up. "Stay here. I'll go grab your clothes, okay?"
She ran out before I could respond, coming back a minute later. She set my clothes down on the sink counter, watching me cautiously. "I'm fine now," I whispered through my shaking. Again, the erection was gone, but who knew how long it would be before it came back for the third time?
She slowly left, not looking away from me. I sighed as she finally exited the dorm. Skywalker, you're a damn fool.
The sane part of me grew concerned. What if Ahsoka didn't trust me anymore, seeing as though I couldn't control my urges around her? What if she told the Council about – well, that was immediately pushed aside because I knew she wouldn't do that. The biggest what if that I could ask myself right about now was: what if she didn't feel the same way about me?
I slowly pushed myself off of the shower floor, stepping out. The towel over my lower half was drenched, so I tossed it into the chute that led down to the laundry station. It would get washed and dried eventually.
I grabbed a dry towel from the rack and began to rub it over my body, wiping all of the droplets of water from myself. I dried my hair only till the ends stopped dripping.
I pulled my clothes on and turned to face my armor pieces that were now decently washed off. I picked up piece, toweling it dry. Once that process was finished, I pulled it over my head, slipping each piece into their rightful position – covering my chest or my shoulders.
I stepped out of the refresher to see Ahsoka lounging on her bed. She was stroking her lek that had been through so much. I'd took more time to carefully read her files after the incident months ago and realized that each time she was abused, that specific lek always took the beating.
"Are you okay, Snips?"
She glanced over at me, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine, Master."
I walked towards her and sat on the bed beside her. "I'm really sorry for what happened in there. That was… embarrassing. I shouldn't have acted that way, with or without the drug. If I have jeopardized our friendship in anyway –"
She sat up, hugging me lightly. "You haven't jeopardized anything. You've stuck with me through all of my problems and I intend to do the same for you, Master. I don't care what your… body thinks it needs. Sex, drugs, and alcohol are strictly off limit until further notice."
"Oh, so you control my sex life now?" I smirked.
She stared at me a little hurt. "I'm kidding, Ahsoka. I don't have sex very often. Actually, the last time it happened was maybe a year ago, so…"
She raised her eye marking and I laughed. "Have you ever had sex with anyone, Snips?"
She shook her head timidly. "I don't know if I want to. Isn't that against the Jedi code?"
"Attachments are forbidden. They didn't say we had to be abstinent from things such as that. The thing is, sex is a big deal and it has to be with the right –"
"What the hell, Master? Are you really going to give me 'the talk'?"
I chuckled, rubbing her leg for a moment. "Do I have to give it to you?"
"I'm pretty sure I understand the basics of it. This goes there… and if you're not safe, something else happens."
I raised my eyebrow. "Quite the understanding you've got there. Do you know what any of it means, Snips?"
"I'm not a little kid, Master."
I rolled my eyes, smiling at her. "All right, Snips. I don't care if you have sex, as long as you're okay with it. I don't want you to get hurt or have… something else happen."
I laughed as she playfully smacked my chest. "That's not funny."
"Of course it is, Snips." I sighed, smiling at her. "All right, enough of that today…"
"Thank the Force!" she laughed.
"Oh, don't worry. We'll talk about it in length another time. I'm just too tired to want to continue that conversation." I stood up from her bed and walked over to my own, plopping down onto it. "How did everything go with Obi-Wan?"
She sat up a bit, looking at me seriously. I laid my head on my pillow, watching her more carefully. "He's getting closer to figuring out what's going on with you. He's beginning to draw conclusions and he's asking me for any information. He also read your medical file. He knows that you're constantly taking pills."
"Does he know about anything else…?"
"No."
I shrugged. "I guess I'm all right then. Good night, Snips. You get some rest soon, all right?"
She nodded just before I turned over onto my other side, facing the wall.
"You're far from all right," she muttered.
