Zuko stood with Katara alone in the living room of his uncle's apartment while the other's were downstairs probably having tea. He began to set down the packages, new purchases next to his as he collapsed into a chair pulling Katara beside him with a quick, sly grin. She allowed herself to be taken as he wrapped is arms taughtly around her waist his head resting on her shoulder. "How did your trip go?" he asked his breath tickling her tender flesh as she shivered his voice was deep, husky. "Well. Aang asked me to dinner," she added and she could almost feel the hate in him as blood boiled and his body tensed. "You Toph and Aang?" he asked hoping that is what it was. "No, Toph has to watch the children, and I figured you would want to stay home being as though you and Aang don't get along. So you can spend time with Iroh and Kaiya or Toph," she offered not seeing the fault in this idea.
But he did. She wanted to go out alone to dinner with a man Zuko hated, a man who was still madly in love with her- was she out of her mind? "I was hoping we could have a romantic dinner. After all Ba Sing Se is the city of love. No place better. Candlight dinner, walking lamplight streets and sitting by the pond in the willage square," he mummbled suggestively as he recalled all of the romance of the city, at least that is why Azula said it was such a good city. "How abou tomorrow?" she offered. And in defeat he nodded as he bit his tongue to save an arguement. He wanted to tell her that Aang had motives that were not pure. He wanted to ask her on the spot to marry him. Instead, he just watched her walk away for her dinner date.
Toph was the first to come upstairs to find Zuko alone in the dark on the couch looking glum and miserable like his old self. Toph told him to light some candles as she placed her sleeping children in another one of Iroh's spare bedrooms that she, Aang, and her children would be staying in. "What's wrong Sparky?" Toph said punching him lightly hoping he would crack a smile. "Nothing," it was a lie and she knew it, even if she did not have her talent it was etched on his face. "It's the fact that they are out on a date, isn't it?" she remarked more to herself than to him because she knew this was indeed the problem. "It is not a date, it is just dinner," he hissed offended.
"Relax Sparky. I was just saying Twinkle Toes loves Suqar Queen. I never said she loved him. She may not think she does, but she is only fooling you and herself," Toph insisted. "She said she did not love him. She would not do that to me," Zuko insisted though there was an air of doubt in his voice. "I don't think she would do it on purpose. I do not even think she is aware of her feelings for Aang, yet. However, I could be wrong," Toph offered though the last part she highly doubted. "Do you think she would go to him?" Zuko asked as he began doubting his idea of proposing to Katara. "You mean go back to him? Yes, I think it is possible. Aang would pounce on the oppurtunity. He doesn't think I know, but I do. I see the way he looks at her. The way he longs for her. How is heart beats for her. How is heart rate goes erratic when she is near. He never was like that with me," Toph informed Zuko her voice was bitter, infuriated almost jealous.
"What do you mean, back to Aang?" he asked. "She dated Aang before you. From what he said it was serious," Toph shrugged. Zuko felt betrayed, Katara had dated Aang and never told him. Katara had told him he was her first, but he did not know what to believe now. Maybe she had slept with the Avatar, it would be very possible, very,very possible. "How do you deal with him, Toph? Someone who doesn't love you," Zuko inquired feeling sorry for his friend. "I don't. It is better than being alone I guess," she sighed obviously unhappy. He nodded understanding how she felt now, he was not sure if Katara loved now that Aang was in the picture. But it was better than being alone and miserable again.
"i guess, I don't know it just isn't all it is cracked up to be," Toph said after thinking. "What isn't?" he replied skeptical. "Love. It is never that gooey mushy crud they talk about. Instead is messy sloppy and implodes upon itself. I mean Aang should be thrilled I've given him all he has wanted, a wife, and two little air-benders, yet he wants more," Toph explained. He placed a comforting hand on her choulder, wanting to say it would be okay but it did not sound as though it would be fine for her. "I understand where you are coming from. But, to a point I understand that being a parent is not all what you expect. I always thought having a child would make my life, but no. Don't get me wrong I love Kaiya, but it is not the same. I missed her birth, her first breath, her first steps, and words. Her first everything. I feel like an outsider looking in," he sighed.
"But your situation is different, until a few months ago a you didn't even know she existed, Sparky. For Spirit's sake Aang was there when I was pregnant and gave birth. He should feel," she argued making him see her point. "But, I want to be there for the rest of Kaiya's first, no matter what happens between Katara and I. I can't take her for granted like your parents did or Aang is,": he whispered. "Promise me you won't take her for granted," she demanded. It was always a touchy subject for toph, the one of parents. Even after the war she never returned, she was not welcomed. Her parents had taken her for granted and for all Toph knew they thought her to be dead or they were dead. "I promise. You have my word. I know what it is like to grow up knwoing a parent for only a short time and having them disappear and then the other parent being dreadful," Zuko stated. "Good Sparky," she replied a real smile cracking the surface of her face for the first time since Zuko had returned.
"Toph I forgot just how insightful and fun you really can be," Zuko commented jokingly. "Don't you mean evily charming and sadistic?" she corrected laughing at him. He nodded calling her the Great Mud Queen as per request. "Don't forget it or I may just let it slip to Katara and the entire Fire Nation how small little Sparky is," she laughed minically of course in jest rembering that horrifying day for him in what seemed like eons ago. "It is not small and you wouldn't dare," he growled. "I would so do it. And how would you know if it is or is not small?" she asked setting up a trap for him to walk into. "Because gys know these things. Besides what do you have to compare it to?" he added the last part to deliver a closing blow but she would not bite. "I have had plentay of exprience. BELIEVE me, Sparky. And you would know because you frequently whip it out and compare? Oh, because you have had exprience. I get it now," she added the last part trying not to laugh her trap had worked. "What? I do not go that way. I love women. I love Katara," he argued. "Sure," she winked giggling. "Maybe the Fire Nation is always so angry because they realized just how small they are," Toph added siggestively. Zuko shook his head grinning realizing she was just trying to piss him off for her own amusment now.
"Come on you walked into that Sparky," Toph whinned when he began to ignore her comments no matter how crude they got. "You truly are evil and sick Miss Bei Fong," he replied laughing. "Thank you," she bowed taking his applause. "Want to go grab dinner? I have to stop by a jewlery shop Uncle showed me to, to pick up an engagment necklace for Katara. I guess the idea of engagement is stupid now, but what the hell... Maybe another day. But, we can have fun if they are," he offered knowing a dinner with Toph who was head of the Dai Li and before that hung out with Fire Nation soldiers would mostly consist of drinking and joking. "Sure. I know where he took you. It is a place only the rich and well connected can get into in Ba Sing Se. It is like th Elite Market. And, don't give up on the idea of marrying Katara. She loves you. She does. My theory could be wrong," she replied.
Before Zuko went downstairs to talk to his uncle he went to freshen up. He ran water across his face bringing the reality of everything tumbling down on him. It seemed wrong to take Toph to dinner, yet what Katara and Aang were doing was worse. They had a history- he and Toph were just friends. Zuko shook his head in anger. He undid his topknot deciding formality sucked. This day was going bad enough, the least he could do was wear his hair how he wanted. He brushed out his shaggy hair and left the washroom. He went downstairs to tell Iroh he and Toph were leaving and he found that his uncle and Kaiya were playing with toys on the floor and discussing the philosphy of Firebending and its techniques. "Uncle I was thinking about going out for dinner, and so was Toph. Would you mind staying with Kaiya?" he asked as his daughter hugged him and he her. "Not at all. Are Toph's children sleeping? If so, we shall go upstairs and watch them," Iroh replied eyeing his nephew with some suspicion wondering why he was going out dinner with a married woman. But he did not question because a married man who was madly in love with his nephew's girlfriend had just hours ago left with her for dinner. He nodded as Toph came down and they left.
As Toph led him through the dimly lit city streets stopping to allow drinking the beauty and romance of the city at night they conversed. Zuko's first thought wwas that Azula had been right, at night Ba Sing Se seemed to transform into a lover's paradise, a city of romance. "Where do you want to eat dinner?" he asked noticing almost every resertraunt was rather on the romantic side and not what either of them had in mind. "I don't know. I figured we could to a bar,"she suggested with anger and bitterness in her voice that he knew was for Aang.
"No, Toph. He would kill me if he knew I took you to bar. Took you to get drunk,"Zuko said putting his foot down. Ï am my own person. I can make my own choices and do my own thing," she shot back in a very matter of fact tone eand put on a face that told him she was not giving this arguement up. "I will not take you to a bar. However, how about we go to eat, and you and I can drink some Fire Whiskey like old times?"he offered. "Sure, Sparky. Only if when I come visit you in Sparkyland over there you drink with me like old times. Me you and YinShao," she replied an evil grin cracking across her face. "You got it," he replied just to get things going, knowing if he did not she would be angry.
Toph knew Zuko couldn't care less if Aang found out they went drinking. The real he wouldn't take her is because he geniunely cared about her and she knew it. She knew he felt for her and did not want her to drink herself stupid like she use. To drink herself into a depression, or to drink until the bad memories came back. And, she admired him for that. Because, unlike Aang he cared for unconditionally and without expecting anything. He did not have a reson or want reward or credit. Whereas Aang did it, to feel loved, to get children and a wife. But, Zuko did it even when Toph treated him horrible because he was a nice guy and a good friend. Because, he too knew what it was like to drink for those reasons and did not wish it on anyone. Also, she knew Zuko was looking out for her now that she was a mother. He did not want her to make mistakes he had made, or his parents had made.
When they had arrived at the jewlery stall, Tophwaited in the shadows amiring the beautiful pieces as Zuko approached the clerk. "Ah, Fire Lord Zuko your piece is ready," the clerk said presenting him with a regal a box as Zuko handed over a bag of gold coins a faint smile on his lips as he thought of Katara. "It was a very interesting piece. Typical of the Water Tribes?" the clerk suggested as if almost prying to see who this mystery girl the Fire Lord was proposing to was. As far as the world knew Fire Lord Zuko was available. "A Northern Water Tribe tradition, but it has spread to the Southern tribe as well. It is rater a particular interest of study of mine," he added a matter of factly hoping to keep Katara's idenity under wraps.
"She is a lucky woman. But may inquire as to why water and fire?" the clerk proposed. "Well, they are opposites. Yin and Yang. Without one you can not succesfully maintain the other. And where fire and water meet land forms. From land we get life and life force. What better way to represent a joining of two souls, two lovers than life? Afterall is that not the overall goal of love and marriage?" Zuko replied after some thought in almost Iroh like manner. "Very symbolic, Fire Lord Zuko. Your Uncle, the Great General Iroh freguents here and often tells me of your inellect and taste. But he never mentioned how insightful and philoshic like, himself, you are," the clerk said bowing. Zuko thanked the man and left with Toph, placing the package deep within his robes as she lead him into a remote diner.
The diner was fancy, but not romantic as most places in Ba Sing Se were at night. Instead, it was less of a diner and more of a hangout. It had bars and delictable food imported from all corners of the world. They were seated at a booth near the bar and Zuko ordered the largest Fire Whiskey they had as did Toph. "Not very lady like Toph," he mused with a sly grin as he chuckled. "Never said I was Sparky. I can hold my own with the best," she grinned stubbornly at his towering figure that dwarfed her. He chuckled as he recalled that she could indeed hold her own with the best. She could out drink most of the men in the Fire Nation army and navy, but she never had out done him. He never allowed her drink that much, because he respected her. He drank to kill his pain and misery. She because, she wanted to kill the memories of her past like him and perhaps those of her future.
It was late that night when Toph and Zuko stumbled in both more than "a little" drunk. Iroh opened the door to the sight of them and frowned, his nephew was suppose to be representing the Fire Nation and there he was out drinking with a married woman. "Do you have any idea the time?" Iroh scolded Zuko. "No,"he shrugged collapsing into the nearest chair as he searched for a bottle of Fire Whiskey to continue drinking on his own. Ït is late well past midnight.. Toph, I will brew you a tea to sober you up,"Iroh added kindly turning to Toph. He never blamed the devious Earthbender, to him she would always be the innocent blind girl.
"Where are Katara and Aang?"Zuko asked srugging off the scolding by is uncle. "They are not back yet," Iroh whispered. "What the hell? It is midnight and they aren't back yet. And you scold me? It isn't like I tried to get in Toph's pants. Aang is probably in Katara's pants," he yelled his voice was thunderous and woke Kaiya without a doubt as he downed the aged bottle of whiskey and procured more. "True, but they are not rulers of a nation," Iroh added. "Bullocks, he is the fucking Avatar. He represents the world. And she represents both Water Tibes," he argued proving his point once Toph nodded in agreement. Iroh shrugged leaving Toph and his nephew with tea before disappearing to get Kaiya back to bed and he himself retire for the night.
Zuko was left alone with his thoughts and more Fire Whiskey as well as other alcohol. At first, he did not realize Toph was still sitting with him until she spoke. "Do you want to talk about it?" she offered. His breath nearly stopped as wiped the tear from his eye. He did not want to talk nor think about it. He just wanted to run away, to vanish. "No, sorry. I just want to forget it. Sit here and drink," he replied his voice hoarse and on the verge of cracking. "Well, you are out of luck, Sparky. Because, I want to talk about it," she declared like her old self. Änd, I am not going to let you drink yourself away. Your life and memories away. Your feelings away because it does not work. Remember? You always told me,"she said accusingly. He shrugged stubbornly irgnoring her, as he looked past her. His mind in a distant relm far from where he physically was. "Do you ever wonder if you it was something you did?" Toph asked. "No, I know it is. I was not there. I couldn't love her the way she needed to be. Because, she was nowhere to be found. How about you?" he shot back his golden eyes narrowing studying her.
"Yes. Yes I do. But, I do not know of where I went wrong. I did everything I could think of. I never loved anyone but him except him, and the obvious," the last part she whispered. The obvious she loved was not her children like Zuko would assume, but infact it was Zuko that she loved. Though, no on would ever know, she would never divulge it to a soul other than herself and no one could sense it did not mean she didn't secretly harbour those feelings. "Sometimes, there is no rational reason. Things just happen," he murmmed his voice was dark, dreary and downcast as he spoke. "But everything has to happen for a reason," she argued rationally and logically. "No it doesn't. It is was we would like to believe, but it is far from the truth. Betrayl sometimes just happens for the hell of it. I use to thing there had be a reason. It had be a punishment for something. Some cosmic karma, but it isn't. I was young naive," his words were strong and stinging yet rang of a sad realization of an eerie truth that always seemed to cloak Zuko. It was that sardonic and existential change in him that made Toph worry.
"You can't think like that. You just have to believe," she offered to him as she stole a drink from his flask. "I don't have to do anything. And what is the point in believing? All I have is misplaced love and memories," he whispered as Toph stole his liqour and poured down the drain. She began drinking Iroh's homemade brew as she forced Zuko to as well. "Because it is those memories and love, whether the memories be real or not that can get you through the darkest times. Trust me," she told him her pale green eyes narrowing caringly as she placed a hand on his shoulder and he nodded somberly. She knew it was hard for him, his love ran out on him left him. Then when he finally tracked her down she divulged a secret that she didn't deem important enough to tell him- the fact that he was the father of her daughter. After all that they made up only for her to stay out all night with an ex-boyfriend who was still madly in-love with her.
It was lae by the time Zuko had sobered enough to get a real grasp on how serious things were. It was well past two in the morning and still Aang and Katara were not back. He was fuming, furious, tired, buzzed, and still woozy from the copious amounts of fire whiskey he had consumed. His eyes glanced over toward Toph who was now sober and starting to drift away to sleep. Zuko nudged her lightly. "What Sparky?" she screamed angrirly rubbing her tired eyes. "Got to bed. Get some sleep. Tend to your children. I will wait up. In the morning we can talk," he commanded his voice wasn't demanding or harsh but kind and caring. She could tell he cared. She nodded and got up disappearing behind a closed leaving a trail of bad aura and anger toward Aang and Katara in her path.
Alone with nothing but thoughts, love and memories. The scene had become all too familiar to him. All to cliche and sinister as he sighed sprawling across the couch. Zuko extinguished the little light he had in the sitting room, burrying himself deep within the couch as he covered himself with a blanket. He heard his daughter's soft footsteps approaching him as she shook him lightly. "Dad?"her voice was tired. "Yes, Kaiya," he whispered sitting up and placing her on the couch beside him as he laid back down. "Where is mom?"she asked her voice was sweet and innocent as her eyes scanned for Katara. "She is not here. Baby, just try to sleep. You can lay with me if you want," Zuko offered his voice was strained as he tried to contain the sadness and obvious hurt in it. He did not know how to explain to his daughter that her mother was out late at night with another man. She nodded sensing her father's uneasy and laid on his chest cuddling against him.
