Chapter 4: Take what you give


Well that's great, I have double vision now. Who knew the sun could make bloodshot eyes burn.

Yawning I rub the sleep out of my eyes before leaning on the lawn chair. I should have went to sleep earlier or at least put some ice on my eyes and hand. I still have a faint red mark on my palm and all my muscles ache from being curled up for a substantial period of time. Maybe tonight I'll just go to bed without dinner and avoid all the verbal abuse that awaits me. Its hardly worth the cost of my sleep.

A heavy huff snaps me too attention. My eyes dart up.

"Finally decided to show up? Its about time".

I was so caught up in whether I'm even physically stable today that I had almost forgot that Peeta was supposed to be here today. Now here he is. Two hours late.

"You know you were supposed to be here hours ago you know?" I continue considering he ignored my last question. I try to catch his eyes but they evade mine. I can practically here Prim hissing in my ear, be nice she'd say, try talking to him - communication is key. She should earn to take her own advice. My eyes flicker back to the sun. If I lost my eyesight for a while it wouldn't be too bad, I mean I'll have an excuse to avoid looking at everyone.

"Are you going to talk yet? Don't act like you can't. Everyone at school knows you can talk" I state.

His posture stiffened.

"Come on, don't waste my time Peeta. Oh and don't look at me like that, I don't know what's the big deal. I get that you're shy and secretive and all, but seriously? This isn't - Your not helping" I say exasperated, dragging my hands down my face. I feel ridiculous considering I know he called me upset yesterday for some unknown reason and like the pathetic person I am, I stayed up for another three hours and left the phone on all night - adding to the bills - in case he was going to call me again so I could answer it and make sure he was okay. He's tricking me into acting stupid already.

I take a deep breath and aim a nauseatingly fake smile at Peeta hoping to make the message clear. We are not friends. Your here to do work. Do it. "Okay. Good afternoon Peeta" I say with as much spite as I can muster, ignoring the empty feeling in my chest from the way he clutches his notebook tighter, slightly bending the book.

My fingers graze my throat for a moment. If i'm not careful I might lose my voice and well that's no good for business. Regardless of my anger I attempt to speak more softly. For my benefit, not his.

"Do you mind er, telling - no writing why you're so late? Maybe if your lucky I'll excuse you". He doesn't reply. I jerk back when he walks up to me.

"What are you-oh". He shrugs off his backpack and settles it on the chair before glancing at me nervously. Despite wanting him to maintain eye-contact earlier, I feel unsettled with the sight of thinly veiled pain expressed harshly through joy-ridden eyes and how they replicate my bloodshot look. He looks painfully exhausted. It doesn't suit him though, like it does me. I just want to wipe that expression off his face. He doesn't mention the phone call though.

He carefully - without his eyes straying once - pulls a piece of charcoal from his backpack and begins to write; slowly. His eyes flickering to the paper for a mere second before returning to mine as if in a trance. I glance down seeing that he wrote 'My' after ten seconds have passed and as if sensing me watching him he scribbles the rest in a blur only cringing for a moment.

Gently as if unsure, he tears the paper off the pad and hands it to me before shoving his hands and the book in the pockets of his hoodie as if trying to hide something, or maybe its just a nervous habit. I wonder if that paper from the other day is still there.

I glance down at the paper.

My fault. Its an accident. Won't happen again.

Before it says 'its' is the word 'I'm' scribbled out. I scoff shaking my head at the error, and shove the note in my back pocket. Glancing around him I scan the sidewalk for potential buyers but everyone seems too concerned in talking or reaching their destination, neither of which will be about the shop.

"Its okay" I force out glancing back at him while he looks at his shoes, "But considering everything that's been going on-". His eyes dart up filling with panic and instantly I know what he does. The phone call. He must have thought I haven't heard it. Maybe that'll make this easier. I feign ignorance and despite being told repetitively that I'm a terrible actress he seems to buy it.

"Look, if I help you out at school or whenever you need it then I'll be doing you a favor. So you'll owe me and I'd like to cash-in in advance" I say as he raises his eyebrows as if to ask me what I want. The look of fear doesn't leave entirely.

"Quit" I say simply.

I can hear his sharp intake of breath before his eyes taper to slits. He shakes his head and stands up straighter as if trying to intimidate me.

"But why?" I whine rubbing my shoulder to sooth the tense muscles.

His eyes widen for a second at my voice and there's a subtle upturn of his lips. Its gone in a flash. He pulls out the charcoal and pad again before flipping to a new, blank page. It takes him a while for some reason.

He begins to write before ripping the paper off and using both hands to hold it up against my face. I smack his hands away as I catch a glimpse at his writing.

No whining. I don't need your help.

"Back to these games are we?".

He nods proudly.

"Quit lying, you do need me" I say.

He shakes his head. No. I blame the slight pain in my chest on stress. Of course he'd react like that. I would as well.

"You can't just put up with it forever" I say. He shrugs and glances around for customers.

"Okay" I say lowering my arm, "If you want to continue without me bugging you then prove to me that your worth it". A dark look appears in his eyes for a moment like the very thought is impossible. "Just paint what you need to, sketch some designs, become a creative master for all I care. Just do something".

He bends the corner of his notepad slightly yet he doesn't move. I glance up at the sky hoping it could rain so I'd have an excuse to leave yet the sun continues to glow unbeknownst to the suffering its forcing me to go through.

I close my eyes and open them to glare at him and his paper as he scribbles on it. I whine childishly, "Why are you doing this to me?".

Cause I can

I bite back a laugh choosing to scowl and hope that he takes any hint of a smile as a mockery.

A buzzing alerts me and I reach into my other back pocket to grab my outdated phone. A cheap item I purchased due to its size and the fact that at least thirty people must have used it before me. I flip it open and answer the call without knowing who's calling. Its not like I could check anyway.

"Hello?" I ask trying to ignore Peeta's watchful eyes.

"Katniss". I roll my eyes at Prim's voice.

"Ready to apologize?".

"Sorry".

"Well that didn't sound sincere".

"Kat" she wined.

"What? Anything else you want to yell at me for?".

"No" she whispers, her voice hushed and breathy. I straighten up focusing all my attention on her. I may be angry but her voice is starting to make me uncomfortable. Peeta must notice because he looks away. I can tell he's eavesdropping though because he isn't distracting himself.

"What's the matter?".

"Its him" she says referring to the star of our argument with our mother. The feeling of dread curls inside me.

"What?"

"He was here," Prim says, panic lacing her voice. "I just arrived home and there was a knock at the door. It was him. I just thought- I just thought I'd let you know. When are you coming home?" she asked.

I tried not to flinch at the idea. "I don't want to."

"I'm not sure you have a choice."

"Why?"

"He wants to see you". I sigh but don't interrupt. "Kat he did something bad".

"So tell mum" I answer. Its not the first time he's done something wrong.

"I can't".

"Why not".

"He threatened you for not happily welcoming him back". I roll my eyes. I haven't even seen him yet and its like he knows how I feel. Then again we didn't split on a positive note.

"Okay what did he say?" I ask.

"Nothing".

"Well whats the problem?" I say, hoping she'll get to the point already.

"He sent me link so I googled it and it was similar to one the boys in my class used to use. Its for adults".

"So its like a website to order prostitutes?" I ask, more concerned with the fact she just googled a random link that could have been much worse. "Well tell him I don't want one".

"I can't" she whispers.

"Why?"

"Because your on it".


Author's Note ~ All mistakes are mine and character rights go to Suzanne Collins.

So I don't know where I was going with this but for the sake of tension I continued and I'm planning the next few chapters. Hopefully this is okay for an update after so long? Sorry family life has been crazy, add in exams, and weekly volunteering and a whole mess of other things that you probably don't care about. So about the story, I do plan to continue it and thank you to everyone who followed, reviewed and favorited. The plot will make sense soon I promise, I have a lot of upcoming reveals and I know things are rough with katniss and peeta and her sister right now but I swear I love everlark so they won't be at war with each other forever.

I hope you enjoyed this, please review, I love your feedback! :) Thanks for reading! I'm on tumblr - kdlovehg - come say hi. :)