Takasugi watches American Idol with Yuan Shao and Liu Shan as two of the judges. A singer gets onto the stage. After she was done, the judges made their judgments. Simon Cowell speaks when it was his turn,"I'm sorry, that was absolutely dreadful. I would shoot myself to your singing. What do you new guys think?" Liu Shan clears his throat. "I bet he is going to say something nice..." But he was wrong. Liu Shan then blurts out,"That was garbage! How did you even get onto this stage? You sound like my father when he saw a rat in his bath! You, Yuan Shao?" Yuan Shao says,"I think that is what hell's music would be. You have no talent whatsoever. Get out of my sight!" The girl cries and runs off the stage. Takasugi looks at the screen in disbelief. "I expect that from Yuan Shao, but...Liu Shan? He's really getting it out there! And I like both of their British-sounding accents to make the insults more funny to hear." Simon looks over to the two, and says,"What the hell was that?"

"We were being honest."

"But you are not supposed to make the contestant cry!"

"You make them cry as well."

"My word, you sound so British..." Takasugi flips the channel to see Entertainment Tonight. "In later news, Abercrombie and Fitch has a new model? He's getting very positive reviews. Take a look yourself and see what we mean." They pulled up a picture of Zhong Hui shirtless and just looking attractive. Takasugi justs gets weirded out. "Um...no thanks...But how did he get with them anyway...?" The people on the television then put away the picture away. "I've heard he's often getting mobbed with girls a lot."

"He's a popular guy, I must say." Takasugi turns off the television. "Ok...that's enough...Now some Fallout!" He runs back to the room with the games. Meanwhile, at Barnes and Noble, the place gets filled with girls because they heard from that clerk girl that there were some handsome guys. Shi and Zhao then run into the Religion section to hide from the fangirls. "Huff, huff...it's hard to get away from them..."

"Maybe I did too much sparkling..."

"TOO much? You say? I wonder how Jia Chong's doing." At Hot Topic, Jia Chong gets the same response as Shi and Zhao. He gets surrounded by more girls. Guo Huai was standing next to him. "I'm sorry...but why do you want this job, Guo Huai? You get bothered by these pests all day."

"When I was at that "Sony" place, I was fired because I was scaring people that were coming into the store. The people here thought I was wearing make-up, so I can fit right in."

"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you...And who's grabbing my jacket?!" The girls were holding onto Jia Chong's jacket as he tried to walk away. He slaps the hands away. "YOU. DO NOT. TOUCH. THE. JACKET. GOT THAT?! This costed 9000 gold to have this custom-tailored!"

"Master Jia Chong...you're getting out-of-character..."

"Ahem. Sorry. Now where was I?" Meanwhile at the school, the bell rings for dismissal.

Sima Yi's class

"Read chapters two to three and write me a summary on what you have read. You may go." The class gathers their belongings and left the room except the rebel student. "Hey, can I walk you home?"

"I can go myself."

"Need anything?"

"No, thank you."

"Want me to braid your hair?"

"NO! Why do you want to do that?"

"But why do you keep long hair then?"

"Just go and do your assignment at your house."

"Are ya sure ya don't need anything?"

"YES. Go." The student runs out the room and shuts the door. A shadow then goes to the door, looking at Sima Yi, and goes away. Sima Yi goes out the room, and goes outside. He then meets Zhuge Liang and Zhang Chunhua at the lot. "Ready?"

"Yes." They get on the cycle, with Zhuge Liang in the sidecar and drove off. After they left, Sun Jian, along with Huang Gai and Han Dang, walk out on the lot. "Well, let's go find the vehicle." But as Sun Jian turned to go towards the car, he is shot. "GAH!" The man runs away. Huang Gai runs after him, but is stopped by Sun Jian. "Let him go."

"You're standing!" Sun Jian unbuttons his shirt and reveals he had a bulletproof body plate. "I've been shot so many times, I come prepared when I go somewhere." The two's jaws dropped. "What?!" When the three that left earlier, they got to their apartment, and got off. They then go into their respective rooms. Zhuge Liang notices Yue Ying hasn't returned home yet, and lies on his bed because he's exhausted. "I heard I have to do this for a few more days...Ugh..." At the room across, Sima Yi goes to nap on the table by placing his head onto it. Right when his head touched the table, the door knocks. "Argh..." He gets up to open the door, and sees a man standing before him. "Um...what do you need...?"

"Is there a Sima Yi here?"

"Yes, that is me."

"Brother, can I stay-" Sima Yi closes the door. He stares at the door. "I have seven...I can't remember which one were you...Let me think about that...Lang's dead, Fu's looks very similar to me, Kui, Xun, Jin, and Tong have nothing special...Min died...So...it's Fu." He opens the door again. "How are you here?"

"Look at my face. I'm no longer looking like a generic."

"Oh...that's nice..."(I have to put up with him? Eeeehhh...)"You look like me..."

"We're related, remember?"

"Eeeh...How are you even having a unique model...?"

"This guy made a version if I were to appear in Dynasty Warriors."

(Again, the perverted director...)"So, why don't you stay with your nephews?"

"They have no room for me."

"What about...um...Cao Pi...?"

"Why would I want to live with him?"

"Yeeah, you might..."

"Just say you don't want me here."

"It's not like that! It's just..."

"Then I hope you don't mind me walking in." Sima Fu enters the room, and sits at the table. "So, who else lives here?"

"It's just my wife and I..."

"Then you have room for one more. Surely you won't throw out your own brother?"

"Urgh..."(Koei never said anything about this...The perverted director probably made him just for fun...)

At Izuru's house, Izuru just gets up from his bed, and sees Takasugi still playing his PS3.

"How long have you been playing?"

"Maybe two hours. My eyes hurt..."

"Then stop."

"But I am almost-"

"You can save here."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that..." Takasugi saves the game and shuts the PS3 off. He removes his sunglasses to rub his eyes and puts them back on. Izuru asks,"Hey, what's that in your pocket?" Takasugi looks at his pocket. "Oh! I forgot I had this!" He takes it out, revealing it was a bra. Izuru then looks at him disgustingly,"Why...do you have that...?"

"Oh, now I remember! I snatched this off of one of the unmanned kiosks."

"..Why...?"

"Look, it's bra that can unhook if the lady wearing this is in love."

"What...?"

"I should try this out. Who though?...Ah, get Zhang Chunhua to wear this. Or Lian Shi."

"You know they care for their husbands, so if you sneak this in their clothing, you'd get a surprise if you got them next to their spouses."

"Yep, and we can tell if the lady actually likes the person they are married to."

"That's cruel..."

"I'm going to Sima Yi's apartment, to give this to him."

"He'll get the wrong idea..."

"Eh, I don't care. And it's sexy-looking, he'll take it definitely...Oh, I just remembered, I need to get alarm clocks for him and Zhugey."

"Like when you gave Zhuge Liang the sexy clothing, and he sent that to Sima Yi. He kept it, but he gave it back to him. Then you got it back from him."

"Well, let's go." As they do that, let's see how the DW guys are doing with their jobs at the mall.

Cao Cao, Zhang Liao, and Xiahou Yuan as Men's Warehouse salesmen

"That sir, is a nice suit,"Cao Cao commented on a customer.

"Really? It makes me look pudgy..."

"Pudgy? Compared to Yuan over there, you're skinny. But Yuan makes it work despite being a little large."

"Oh, him? He does seem nice even in these suits. I'll take this one."

"Fine choice." Zhang Liao was offering service, but many of the men get scared from looking at his eyes. He goes up to Xiahou Yuan."People are walking away from me, what is the matter?"

"Well...for starters...You still have your battle face on, and it's...making these eyes that scared children back in Wu and even home..."

"Oh, I can't really..."

"Just think of flowers or puppies and kittens."

"The flowers will die without the water and sun, the puppy and kitten will tear each other apart..."

"Don't think like that! Just something that will softens those eyes of yours."

"Back at Changban...I had to kill the innocent people, but Cao Cao told me to, and I did it still." Zhang Liao's eyes turn sad. Xiahou Yuan tells him,"Making you sad doesn't really help...Just happy things. Maybe if you do a good job, you will get respect from Guan Yu and Xu Huang...They're doing great..." (I had to go there, great...) Zhang Liao lights up. "Then I shall follow their example! I can't go to them saying I couldn't get one person to serve!" Zhang Liao's eyes flare up with determination. He then runs over to a customer and throws him many suggestions. "Hey, care to try some things? Need a tie? Or maybe a belt?"

"U-Um...ok..." Xiahou Yuan sighs,"He's making them scared into buying things...But it works..."

Zhuge Dan, Deng Ai, and Xiahou Ba at Sony

Deng Ai is doing the heavy-lifting of boxes and picking up TVs. A lot of people ignore Xiahou Ba because they thought he was a child that was just playing around as a Sony employee. "Hey, I'm not a kid!"

"Aw...You work here..? That's cute."

"Again, I'm seventeen!"

"Why are you so short?"

"I don't know! I probably didn't have a growth spurt...But, what help do you need? I can tell you what is going on now."

"Ok, I'll play along."

"I just said I'm not a kid. I'm just too short."

"So a midget?" Xiahou Ba jumps up to kick the man in the face. "NOT A MIDGET!" Nearby, it's the same thing with Zhuge Dan. He also kicked a man for mentioning the word "midget" to him.

Wang Yi at Rusty's needle

A big man walks into the building. "Hey, I want a tattoo." Wang Yi goes up to him with a book. "Here. Choose what you want." The man looks at Wang Yi flirtatiously and says,"I want that and I want it "down there." Wang Yi then gives him a look and turns around. "Hey, this guy wants this on his intimate part!" Another man that works with her goes up to the man. "So? You want the rocket? Come here."

"Wait, I though..."

"Get in the chair."

"Ok..." Wang Yi smirks at him. "You think I'm going down there? In your dreams." Some pained screams are heard in the shop.

Zhang He, Zhen Ji, and Cai Wenji at the Guess store

Zhang He is giving advice to a female customer and giving her some things to try on. "That needs a little more...Here!"

"O-Oh, okay..." The woman goes into the dressing room then comes out of it in the suggested clothing. "Ah! You look absolutely fabulous!"

"Thank you...You think this is good for me?"

"Why yes! It fits you, and lets out your inner beauty!"

"Then I want to get this." The woman goes into the dressing chambers, takes off the outfit, then goes to the register. Zhang He goes over to Zhen Ji and Cai Wenji. "How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"What's wrong, Lady Zhen?"

"It's...my lord...He's with all those women as we speak. Do you think...?"

"Oh no! He's not going to leave you for a random stranger he met in a host club."

"I hope you're right..."

"What about you, Lady Cai Wenji?"

"It's decent, and the women liked my honesty. The music here...is rather unusual..."

"I don't know myself about this. This is something you cannot dance to. It's has no rhythm whatsoever. How can people in the future listen to this?"

"For me, it's too loud and very inappropriate...What is that woman doing..."

"My word! Why is that lady nude and swinging on Xu Chu's weapon?" They covered their eyes.

Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei at the shoe store

The store is crowded again because of Guan Yu. Zhang Fei and Liu Bei are unable to keep up with the people coming in. "Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me...Since people heard of a tall, red man with a long beard, people have really coming here..."

"Yeah, but the guy said Brother's worshiped in the future."

"I didn't know he was really that worshiped by so many people though."

"Gods reach people faster than benevolent lords."

"You're right..." Guan Yu is getting so much attention from the people, mostly older men and women. Some actually offered him things and bowed. "Excuse me, I do not need your offerings, please give them to yourselves. I'm just an ordinary man."

"No, take them."

"But my job is to offer you service in terms with shoes..."

"Why is god here, looking at people feet and give service? You should be up at Heavens!"

"I'm no god."

"Yes, you are! I have shrine with you statue in it!"

"I am a statue?"

"Yes, you statue! You have long beard! Easy see you!"

"Um...Why are you talking like that..?"

Xiahou Dun and Pang De at the army surplus store

"Why is there a weapons store here anyway?," asked Pang De. The burly store owner replied,"You never know. People have weird tastes." A man enters the store, acting nervous. "Hey, what do ya need?" The man pulls a gun on him, but the burly man isn't scared. "Really? You're in a gun store." Xiahou Dun pulls a shotgun at him, Pang De pulls out a rifle, and the store owner pulls out a bazooka. The man looks around, and screams. He tries to pull the trigger, but is blasted away by Xiahou Dun. "You're not to actually use them! It just scares them into leaving!" Jia Xiu walks by the store with a bucket and mop, saying, "I'm not cleaning that..."

"Um..ok...Why did you shoot?"

"Why have weapons if you're not going to use them? And the man was mentally unstable."

"Unless it's a suicide bomber, you don't shoot them. But we can say it was self-defense to the cops." Xu Huang and Dian Wei move towards the noise. "What happened here?"

"The man took a gun out and threaten to shoot."

"Did he?"

"Yes, but he missed, and he shot him."

"We are going to have to take the body discreetly. Do you have something to put him in?" Pang De comes out with a coffin. "Here."

"..Well...that's too obvious...And you made a coffin here as well?"

"You never know when you're going to die."

As that was happening, Li Dian and Yue Jin walked to a food court. "Hey, this area sells food."

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" The scene switches to Ma Chao. He gasps. "Someone wants to eat a HORSE!" He sobs as Zhao Yun and Jiang Wei look at him weird and the scene switches back to Li Dian and Yue Jin.

"Let's get something, now."

"Like what? I don't think they have meatbuns."

"Hm...There's that thing with a panda on it."

"Panda Express? That sounds rather unusual...Do they eat pandas here?"

"No, I see rice and noodles along with other stuff. That looks good..."

"We didn't get paid yet, so all we have are gold. Do you think they will accept it as payment here?"

"Who cares? As long we get food!" Li Dian drags Yue Jin to the line. He then orders a lot of items for the two. When he goes to pay, the man manning the cash register looks at him weird when presented gold to him. "Um...I don't think we take gold..."

"Aw..."

"But I'll happily take it." (Those could be worth a fortune if pawned off!)

"Yay! Yue Jin, take the bag over there and I'll take this one." They walked away, and sat at a table. When Li Dian opened the bag, it had three take out containers overflowing with food. He gets the first one and eats eagerly. Yue Jin gets his one container and eats at moderate speed. "This stuff tastes delicious! What kind of food is this?"

"The sign said it's Chinese food. I don't see this at the markets back home though."

"Maybe this was created after our time. But this stuff should be at the markets back home. I'll go to them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday!"

At the mall entrance, a man in hooded clothing walks in with his hand in his pockets. He then pulls a rifle out and yells out."This place is mine! Do as I say or I'll blow ya heads-OOF!" Wen Yang knocks the rifle away, and hits the man. "You shall not disturb these people when they have done nothing wrong!"

"Jesus, you're gigantic! OOF!" Lu Bu tackles him and slaps handcuffs onto him."You're coming with me!"

"How can you predict me?! I had someone to scout!"

"You mean him?" Xu Huang and Dian Wei drag the dead body from the army surplus store. "W-What? You killed him?"

"No, he tried to rob a gun store."

"I got another one from this morning also."

"That stupid retard! I knew I shouldn't trust him with this!"

"You are the stupid one..." They then take the man to deal with him as the people nearby applauded. Now, let's see what's happening at the host clubs and hostess bar. At "Tagahagamara," the whole place was packed after they heard of the new hosts. Zhou Yu was getting requested too often himself along with Guo Jia.

Zhou Yu's table

"You're so handsome!"

"Your hair is so soft! What shampoo do you use?"

"Well, I use herbs..."

"I should try that!"

"Hey, waiter! Get us some fruit and more Don Perignon!"

"Now, now, I can't drink so much..."

"Low tolerance? Okay, what about some juice?"

"I would like that." Zhou Yu sparkles. The girls squeal.

Lu Su's table

Lu Su drinks a lot of wine and eats the food ordered. "Ladies! I-I *hic*...How 'bout all of you come by my place...?"

"You're pretty handsome...I would..."

"Um..he's a little drunk..."

"But he looks like he knows his way around in the bedroom."

Sun Ce's table

He was eating and drinking more than actual flirting. "Nom...nom...Man, this is good!"

"Um..."

"Hey, we're over here..."

At Guo Jia's table

"Ladies, ladies, don't rush me. I'm trying very hard to satisfy all of you, but it's hard if you keep on tugging me back and forth."

"How about we bring out the wine? Get us a giant bowl along with ten bottles wine!"

"N-No...I can't drink THAT much..."

"Come on! You drink it all up, and we can do what you say."

"Ugh..." Xiao Qiao and Da Qiao bring out an enormous bowl and the ten bottles are inside it. Then they set it onto the table and left. The girls then opened the bottles and poured them into the bowl. "Drink up!"

"Um...Can we share?"

"This is for you!"

"Oh...How am I supposed to drink this...?"

"Get the bowl and chug!" The girls then lifted the bowl up and placed it near Guo Jia's mouth. (I'm going to die, am I? Might as well die doing something I love.) He takes the bowl and forces himself to drink it all. After he was done, his stomach was protruding and then the wine spewed out of his mouth, ears, and nose. He then collapses. The manager runs up to him."Hey! You okay?"

"I feel soo...BLARGH!"

"Get me a phone! Call 911!" After the paramedics came, they loaded Guo Jia into the ambulance. He had to get his stomach pumped and had to stay at the hospital for a while. Jia Xiu and Cao Cao were the ones that visited him. Cao Cao was extremely dramatic. "Don't you die on me!"

"I'm not."

"I don't know what I'd do without you..."

"I'm going to be okay..."

"But your habit got the best of-"

"I said I'm fine. They said I just need to stay here for a few days." Jia Xiu then comments,"What happened again?"

"Some women made me drink a giant bowl of wine..."

"AWW man! I want to do that!"

"It's not a good idea..."

"Maybe Wang Yi could have done it better..." Later, Takasugi drives him and Izuru to the apartment Sima Yi and Zhuge Liang were staying in. They then get in front of the door and knocked. Sima Yi opens the door. "...It better not be another of my brothers...Oh, you again..."

"What was that you just said?"

"Nothing. What do you want?"

"Hey, who's at the door?" Sima Fu goes up to the door. Takasugi looks at him and figures it out."Oh! I forgot I made a model for Sima Fu even though they didn't ask for one! Why is he here though? Man, I forgot how much he looks like Yi."(Wait, I remember making a Zhuge, but I forgot which one...) After thy went in, a man resembling Zhuge Liang walks up to Zhuge Liang's door. When he knocks, Zhuge Liang opens the door, and sees the man. "Um...Did the Koei director clone me again?"

"What are you talking about? I'm Zhuge Jin."

"Uh-huh...How do I know that?"

"You adopted one of my children. Qiao?"

"Oh, that doesn't prove anything."

"I have your face, for Confucius' sake!"

"You could be a clone."

"A clone has EXACT features! I just have your facial structure!"

"Fine, why are you here? Don't tell me, you are a new character?"

"Well, no. This guy made me even though his superiors didn't ask for me."

"Ok..."

"You're thinking to throw me out, right?" He starts to talk very dramatically. "And I raised you when our uncle died...It's so sad how you could repay with such cruelty...

"Ok, ok, come in!" Zhuge Jin enters Zhuge Liang's room. Across from there, Takasugi looks at Sima Fu and observes him. "Man...he really looks like him...You can even pass him off as your twin."

"So...you made him...?"

"You don't seem happy. Something wrong?"

"He makes me seem like a bad guy..."

"You are a bad guy..."

"He making me look more...I can't say..."

"Is your wife here?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Yi! I forgot to meet your wife! Where is she?"

"Um...She's resting..."

"Well, anyway. I have something for her." Takasugi holds up the bra. Sima Yi looks at him like he was insane. "..Excuse me..?"

"This thing is used by women of today to hold up their female cushions."

"...What..? Why would she need that..?"

"Her...chest is large...and might need this. Women with large breasts will suffer from back problems. Takasugi here is just giving something to help her. But he's being an absolute prev about this." Sima Fu looks at the item. "It's for a woman's chest? It looks...interesting..." Takasugi then walks to the bedroom door and opens it. "Hey, rise and-OOF!" He gets a lamp to the face. "Ok, wrong time." Sima Fu goes to the door himself."Hey, why are you so-OOF!" He gets a book to the face. "Why did you go?"

"I thought I can cheer her up."

"Uh-huh. She doesn't even know you're Sima Yi's brother yet. She'll just think you're Yi himself. Oh, and I should give you this alarm clock. I already set it to the time you have to go to work."

"Oh...thank you?... And Fu and I don't look that similar."

"Um...the hair...the face...the eyes...He's just a mirror version of you. His eyes aren't that slanty. Is that racist?"

"Well...The slanty eyes means the character is cold and evil. Sima Yi is that...eight tenths of the time..."

"Where does that remaining two tenths go?"

"Ehh...They go to his hats...Look at his DW7 hat, that was from all of the leftover evil from his DW6 self."

"Again with the hat jokes?!"

"Well, if you stuck one of your hats in front of a fangirl, she will instantly recognize it's yours. It's like otaku common sense."

"Also, if we had a silhouette of you, your hat really gives it away. Your name is kinda unique. Sima already sounds evil, to be honest. Wait, Sima Hui is not related to you, right?"

"No...I don't really know..." The bedroom door opens, and Zhang Chunhua comes out, rubbing her eyes. She notices the two people in front of her. "Um...the perverted director cloned you again..?"

"I wish I did that again, but no, that's Sima Yi and the other is Sima Fu."

"...Which one is Yi and which one is Fu? They are wearing the same thing..."

"Wait, how did he even get a suit?!"

"I was wearing this already when I got here."

"Damn it! I need something to tell you apart from Yi. What can I use..? Ah! Take this." He gets a flower vase and gives it to Sima Fu. "There, Sima Fu is the one with a flower vase in his hands."

"Hi. I'm your husband's younger brother. He shut the door on me."

"Now, I didn't know which of my brothers were you. I thought Lang, but he's dead. The rest had very tiny accomplishments and poor Min died."

"That's not a very nice thing to say to Kui, Tong, Jin, and Xun. And may Heaven rest Lang's and Min's souls. I'm sure they could have been just like you until you hogged up the spotlight..."

"You were just some lapdog. I did what I need to do so I won't be serving imbeciles."

"The job of a retainer is to stay with the master till death. You just leave whenever you think he is a fool."

"I certainly don't want to suffer for his mistakes just because he's a fool. It's a shame you have not realized that." Takasugi then gets in. "Um...I'm sure the people reading this don't want to learn history or hear what you think, so can you wrap this up? Your arguments are taking some space up."

"Tell him. Oh, when you leave, mind taking him with you?"

"You WERE planning to throw me out!" Izuru comments,"You two sound like the stereotypical brothers where one is doing just fine and the other is not and is trying to mooch off the older brother."

"Oh, this sounds like...almost every movie that involves siblings or family sit-coms. And...wait for it..." Nothing happens. "Wait for it...Oh, come on! In this kind of situation, the wife or the lady the older brother is with convinces the older brother to let the mooching brother stay in his house! It's just what it always is! Why isn't Chunhua doing anything?"

"That's because I don't want him to stay here..."

"What? Something against him?"

"What? What did I do to you?"

"Fu here made a couple of certain comments during the time I was meeting Yi."

"What comment?"

"There are certain comments I don't want to remember..."

*Flashback*

A younger Sima Yi walks down the hall. (Can he get any younger?) Sima Fu and his younger brothers approach him. "Hey, I heard you're getting married."

"You're so awful with women, Father had to arrange a marriage for you!"

"I'm not awful with women."

"Yeah, you spend your days in a dark room, reading and writing. Gee, nerd much?"

"Who knows? You could have been doing "something" else in there as well..."

"I wondered who's the lady Father set you up with."

"If she's ugly, I would laugh my butt off! HAHA!" A tall man behind them knocked the younger brothers on their heads. "Enough, Yi's got a lot on his hands right now. He would not want you brats bothering him."

"Ow! Lang! That hurt!"

"Gee, we were having a little fun!"

"What about Father hearing about this? I'm sure he'll crack out the old whip." The younger ones shut up. "Now, let's go." Sima Lang leads the younger brothers away from Sima Yi. Sima Fu was still standing there. "Why are you still here?"

"I want to see her as well."

"I'm getting married to her, not you."

"Oh, I see. If she's pretty, you want it to yourself, riight?"

"That's not it! I just don't want you nosing in!" Sima Yi opens the door, and sees a girl there. "Um..."

"Hey, is that one of the new servant girls?"

*Flashback interrupted* Izuru says,"The insult was Fu thinking you were a servant girl?" Zhang Chunhua sighs."I'll skip ahead if you'd like, but that wasn't one of the comments."

*Flashback continued*

At the party after the wedding, Fu gets incredibly drunk and goes up to the young Zhang Chunhua. "Hey...um...what's your name...?"

"Zhang Chunhua."

"Hey, your name sounds like...like...a type of dog...hic..."

"What?"

"What was the dog...? Um...a chi-something-hua..."

"You're Sima Yi's brother, right?"

"Yes...And...the dog your name sounds like is...uh...AH! It's a chihuahua. You're a chihuahua! Ha!"

"That is slightly insulting..."

"What? It's a small dog, about your size...You're small, it's small...Everyone's thingy-mi-gig is small..."

"Um..."

"You know what...? If you ever grow up...which you will...Can I have sex with ya?...

"What things are you saying?! I will be still married by then!"

"But...Ok...if you ever...if you ever have brats...I want to meet them...And ask you on the sex with Yi..."

"Stop telling me these things!" She plugs her ears. "I can't hear you! And what makes you think I'll want to do THAT with him?!"

"Ok, ok, here's why...Did you know...sex...makes...babies...?"

"Ok! That's it! I'm going away now!" She walks away quickly from Fu.

"Wait. Wait, wait...I just realized something...You're my sister! Think fast!" Sima Fu trips Zhang Chunhua, making her fall on the few steps leading into the building. He runs back into the building where the party was happening. Zhang Chunhua looks up in boiling anger. "I can't believe I'm going to be siblings-in-law with him..."

*End of flashback*

Takasugi and Izuru look at Fu weirdly. "Wow..."

"I was drunk! I did not meant what I had said!"

"But you still hurt me with those comments. Especially with the dog one..."

"I'm so sorry! Yi, can you help?"

"You forced...THREE...jars of wine down my throat that night..."

"It was a party! You're supposed to drink!"

"...Mrgh..." Takasugi then jumps in. "Hey, I'll take him off your hands and Zhang Chunhua, can you wear this?" He holds up the bra. "No...why does it have lights?"

"Just decoration...Look, it's teal."

"Ugh...no..."

"Come on! It will hold up those things of yours."

"That's what women wear in the future?"

"Yes. It helps not feel heavy there, and it looks better."

"I...suppose I can use this...can you get rid of the light...?"

"I afraid I can't do that..." He gives the bra to Zhang Chunhua. "Enjoy! Bye! Come on, Fu." They then leave the apartment. Takasugi then stays out the door, holding his phone. "Where's the app? There it is."

"What are you doing?"

"The bra comes with an app. This shows the woman's heartbeat."

"So if she has a certain type of heartbeat, the bra will come off?"

"Yep. Right, now, I need to see if it rises. Nothing right now. I'll just wait here."

"How do you know she's going to even wear it?"

"Oh, she will. All women like to try new fashion things. Even ancient ones." Inside, Sima Yi is sitting at the table, laying his head on top of it. "Finally, I can-" Zhang Chunhua goes up to him. "The pervert director said this will help hold up my chest. Does this look right?"

"I see a light...It's turning pink..."

"What? Anyway, can you see any difference?"

"If you keep sticking them in my face, I can't tell..." He slightly blushes. "Hey, the light is blinking fast."

"I don't know why it keeps on doing this..."

Outside

"The heartbeat is going to fifty-five...I might need to get in there for a bit..."

Inside

"Now it looks decent. But you don't really need to worry about that, you don't need such items for yourself." Takasugi then bursts right into the door, surprising the two. "Hey, the heartbeat is at a hundred!" Then a noise is heard from Zhang Chunhua. "Hm? AH!" The bra under her shirt unhooks very quickly, and the shirt slightly unbuttons. Takasugi then tries to look at her chest, but gets glared down. "Oh, it works! That's so cool!"

"What did you give me?"

"A bra that will automatically unhook if you two get a little...you know..."

"What kind of invention is that?!"

"Japan made it. Leave it to Japan to make seemingly useless things that are secretly awesome at the same time. Well, I can leave now, because I just saw your cleavage." He leaves casually out the apartment. He then walks over to Zhuge Liang's apartment and knocks. He opens. "Oh, what do you need?"

"I want to give you this. It will help you get up in the morning without me calling you."

"That sounds helpful." He takes the alarm clock. Takasugi then leaves the apartment. Meanwhile...

"Actually...this is not bad..."

"Yi. No. I am NOT keeping it."

"Phht. What makes you think I want you to keep it? Haha! That's...absolute nonsense...Hehe..." Zhang Chunhua gives him an unamused look. "Ok, you can get rid of that..."

When Takasugi left the apartment, he sees Zhuge Jin lying on the ground. "Oh, there he is. Is he alive?" He pokes him. "Yep, dead. Probably from exposure or falling from a high place. Izuru then asks Sima Fu, "How are you even here? We didn't schedule for you to be a new character."

"I don't know myself..." Takasugi takes out his phone. "Disable...my...models...for future DW games..." Sima Fu disappears."There, we won't have to babysit him." The two get into Takasugi's car and drive away. A shadow comes out from a bush. "Takasugi...You have made my life hell, and because of that, I'm stuck as a teacher...I wanted to be a doctor...but nooo...you had to bring me down to your level, but...I will make that good life of yours hell like you have done to me...Hahahahah...


Nitpicks

Sima Lang was Sima Yi's older brother. Sima Fu was his younger brother. Sima Kui, Sima Xun, Sima Jin, and Sima Tong were, in that order, the other younger brothers. Sima Min was the youngest, but he died before even reaching adulthood. Sima Fu was just as talented as Sima Yi, but he was cast aside because Sima frickin't Yi had to hog the spotlight. To be honest, I want him in a DW game, to help his nephews out since Sima Yi dies after a few battles. Fun fact: You know how Sima Yi is friends with Cao Pi? Funny thing is Sima Fu had a friendship with Cao Zhi, Cao Pi's brother. So, yeah, the brothers were friends with another pair of brothers. What? It seemed relevant.

Zhuge Jin was Zhuge Liang's older brother that worked in Wu. He took care of his younger siblings when their uncle died. He let Zhuge Liang adopt one of his sons, Zhuge Qiao when he didn't have any children yet.

Really, I sometimes mistake Chunhua for chihuahua or the other way around when I look far away, or scrolling down fast. Ok, it may just be me...

Guo Jia's going to be fine. Sun Jian's going to be fine. Don't worry, you won't have to beat the Confucius out of Takasugi even though I don't mind.

Why do I make the DW characters say Confucius? Because obviously they were not Christians, and I needed something to use to replace Jesus when they say" For...sake" or "for the love of ..." or overall "...!" Confucius rhymes with Jesus also.

Rusty's Needle was a tattoo shop in Saints Row 2.

I felt like I was offending myself when I made the TOTALLY-NOT-ASIAN old guy talk in a stereotypical Asian accent to Guan Yu.

A kinda-Full Metal Alchemist reference was made when Xiahou Ba was called a midget.

Guo Jia chugging a giant bowl of wine was based on a Gintama scene.

Liu Shan and Yuan Shao have English accents I would LOVE on an American Idol show.

I don't like Zhong Hui, but he strikes me as a model when you think of his modern job. Maybe one of those hairdressers with lisp.

That bra mentioned here ACTUALLY EXISTS. No, seriously. Really! Japan made it happen! Fine, goggle it, prove me wrong.

Sima Fu realizing Zhang Chunhua would be technically his sister and making her fall on the steps was based on a Family Guy scene.

Looking at Sima Yi's hats and knowing who they belong to IS otaku common sense. Especially that DW7 one.

I actually walked into a store with Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball" on it's TV screen.