A/N: I guess now is as good of a time as ever to let you guys know about my Wattpad. I typically post there before I post here. This chapter was finished about two weeks ago and I'm just now getting around to publishing it here. So if you want to be one of the first people to see the updates as well as my original stuff, you can go follow my Wattpad frecklesandstardust.
The day after my second late night meeting with Kenny was utterly exhausting. No matter how much I slept, I felt like I needed more sleep. Eventually, Bebe forced me out of bed so that we could actually get something done that day.
Apparently she had talked to Kenny about the flower shop and he volunteered to help us. So, by around three, he was waiting for us.
He was leaning against the wall, doing something on his phone while he waited. When he looked up at us, he gave us a crooked grin like he always did.
He stood as I unlocked the building. I heard a whistle from behind as we walked in, which I presumed was Kenny.
No kidding, I thought. The place seemed to have gotten worse compared to the last time we were there.
Bebe clapped her hands to get our attention. "Alright, let's get down to business."
We hauled out junk laying around, swept floors, scrubbed dirt from hard to reach places, and didn't stop until we were all too exhausted.
We were all sweaty and covered in dust by then. I wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep, but Kenny and Bebe seemed to be proud of our work.
The place was still pretty dirty, and needed electricity and some furnishings, but it already looked better.
I stepped outside to take a break, letting out a sigh of relief as the cold air met my skin. It was amazing how cold it could be in that building and we still got sweaty. Our jackets had been shed long ago, and our sleeves were rolled up as far as they would go, but it still wasn't enough. I could only imagine how bad it would be to work in the summer.
I sat against the wall by the entrance, an uncapped waterbottle held loosely in my hand. My eyes instantly seemed to be getting heavier. Unable to resist, I shut them. I needed sleep, and my location didn't matter to me in that moment.
I heard the door open and someone settle beside me a few minutes later. "You're tired too, huh?"
"Yeah, that's kind of what happens when you don't get any sleep," I mumbled.
"Guess so," he said under his breath.
We sat in silence, watching our breath cloud up and dissipate. It was welcomed. Neither of us had ever been ones to talk much.
The door opened again after a few minutes. Bebe came into view, her hand on her hip.
"Both of you are going to get sick," she scolded.
"But it feels nice out here," I protested meekly. Kenny nodded in agreement.
She shook her head, as if she couldn't believe us. "You two are crazy. We should just call it a day before your brains turn to muscle from all the work we've done. I already have that problem with Clyde."
I chuckled at that, and reluctantly stood up. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go."
We said goodbye to Kenny before heading home. The first thing I did was plop down in bed. Somehow, I'd managed to fall asleep.
I paced, my cheeks streaked with tears, and my lip bleeding from where I had been chewing it. The ambulance was still wailing, and it only made my head feel like it was splitting apart.
I'd been pulled away from the now unconscious blond. If not for the deep red staining his clothes and hair, it would have looked like he was in a peaceful sleep. I knew better. He was being put into the ambulance on a stretcher. They began hooking all kinds of machines up to him, trying to keep him alive. Some part of me already knew he was going to die, but I hoped that wouldn't be true.
It was a blur between then and when I got to the hospital. I had a concussion, a large bruise across my collar bone from my seatbelt, and several cuts from the shattered glass of the windshield.
I was still panicking, trying to call Clyde from the waiting room. We were hours away and I hadn't talked to him in forever, but I needed someone. On the fifth call, he picked up. I rushed out an explanation and gave him the hospital name. There was no way he was going to get there that night, though. It was already one in the morning.
After hanging up, a doctor called my name. I rushed over, hoping for good news, but that was instantly crushed when I saw the look on his face.
"I'm sorry, we did all we could, but it seems it wasn't enough. Tweek is dead."
At nearly midnight, I woke up in a cold sweat. My mouth was dry, my stomach was churning, and I realized I'd been crying. It seemed as if the dream only continued to get more vivid, like my mind was slowly piecing things together and realizing what had happened that night.
All the emotions had come rushing back. All the anger, fear, guilt, and the realization I would never see Tweek's smiling face again.
I forced myself to stand to go get some water when I noticed a note on my night stand.
Sorry I didn't wake you for dinner. I figured you needed your rest since you haven't been sleeping lately. There's a plate for you in the fridge if you're hungry.
-Bebe
I didn't feel hungry. I felt more sick than anything.
As I crept out of the bedroom, I noticed that the TV in the living room was on. Clyde was sitting in front of the TV, watching some old show on Disney Channel.
"What are you doing up?" I asked.
He practically had a heart attack, jumping so high he nearly fell off the couch as he clutched his chest. He looked me over, relieved that it was only me. "I don't work tomorrow and I couldn't sleep just yet," he said with a shrug.
I sat on the couch next to him, trying to figure out what show was playing.
All the while, he was studying me. Finally, he spoke up. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"You could say that," I mumbled. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. "I can't stop thinking about him, y'know?"
He nodded. "Losing people is hard, man. I remember losing my mom, it felt like my whole world was falling apart." He paused, as if remembering something. "But you were there for me, even on the days when all I could do was cry and blame myself. So I'm gonna be here for you."
I was a bit taken aback at first. Clyde was rarely serious, but you would always know he meant what he said when he was. "Thanks." I paused, letting out a sigh. "I don't know what I'd do if you hadn't picked up that night. I was an idiot for cutting everyone off like that."
"We'll always be friends, even if you don't ever talk to me again." He smiled softly at me.
I knew he hadn't meant to, but he made me feel guilty. I knew I made people worry. I knew it was a bad choice, yet I still chose it. Now I was stuck fixing broken relationships while trying to keep myself together.
"I don't understand why everyone is so willing to forgive me for what I did," I mumbled.
"We all make stupid decisions. Some more than others. Not everyone is going to forgive you, but people like me and Bebe and your parents know you. We care about you. That's why we forgive you," he said, attention no longer on the television.
I processed that for a moment before finally speaking up, a small smile tugging at my lips. "Why do we always get deep in the middle of the night?"
He chuckled. "I dunno. Maybe it's a sign that we should get some sleep."
"Maybe. Thanks for talking to me. It helps sometimes."
"No problem, man. Now go get some rest. I'm sure Bebe will keep you busy tomorrow." He stood and stretched.
I did the same, letting out a sigh. "Don't even mention it. That building needs a lot of work. Even with Kenny helping, it's gonna take forever."
"It'll be worth it in the end, though."
I nodded. Some part of me told me that he was right, even if I didn't wholly believe it.
We said good night to each other and headed to our rooms.
I didn't sleep much. I kept tossing and turning. The dream still bothered me. I knew it was real, and I couldn't shake the feelings that I had that night in the ER.
Morning sunlight was peeking through the curtains before I knew it. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Lack of sleep was putting a physical strain on me, and I already had enough to deal with emotionally. I didn't want to get out of bed. A voice told me I should, to force myself, put on an act so that I wouldn't worry the others, but I didn't move from my place. I felt like I was at my limit.
Bebe and Clyde came in a few times to try to persuade me, but eventually gave up when they realized I wasn't moving. Even when my stomach growled, I remained in bed.
I wasn't even really doing anything. I just laid there, staring at the wall, letting the past swallow me whole and take me back again.
At one point, I came back to reality at the mention of my name. It was Bebe's voice. She wasn't far from my room, but if it weren't for the thin walls, I wouldn't have been able to hear her.
"Yeah, no work today. Craig's not feeling well...No, I don't know what's wrong. He's not running a fever and he won't speak to me." She paused as if debating something. "I guess. You probably won't get much out of him, though." Then her voice stopped and I heard her walk off.
About half an hour later, I heard a knock at the door. I didn't bother looking over, figuring it was Bebe or Clyde. The door slowly creaked open.
"Craig?" a familiar voice called softly. It was Kenny.
I shuffled a bit but otherwise made no effort to make myself noticed.
I heard the rustling of a plastic bag and soft footsteps followed by feeling a weight beside me on the bed. "You gonna get up?"
I shook my head.
"That's a shame. I brought ice cream," he said, obviously trying to persuade me.
Nonetheless, ice cream did sound pleasing.
"It's your favorite, too," he continued.
I moved the blanket aside to look at him. I knew it was an attempt to get me to confide in someone. I wanted nothing more than to shut myself off, despite my better judgement.
"You gonna get up?" he asked.
"Maybe," I mumbled.
"I'll go get spoons. Sit up and you can have some ice cream. I'm not gonna force you, but at least try to get out of bed or tell us what's wrong." He then stood and went out the door.
After a moment or two of arguing with myself, I forced myself to sit up.
I looked at the half-gallon tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and couldn't help but think back to the times that Kenny and I would bitch about life over ice cream like pre-teen girls.
Kenny soon returned with two spoons in hand. He handed one to me and opened up the ice cream.
We sat in silence a while, sharing ice cream from the tub. Eventually, I spoke up.
"Bebe sent you, didn't she?"
"Huh?"
"She's worried and knows I won't talk to her about it anymore because I feel like a burden so she sent you, thinking that you'll get me to tell you what's wrong. I overheard part of the phone conversation."
"Oh, that! I came here because you're my friend, not because of Bebe. She had just called to tell me we wouldn't meet up today. I was the one that had this idea," he explained. "I just wanted to make you feel better. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He shrugged, eating another spoonful of ice cream.
I nodded, mumbling out an awkward "thanks." I debated whether or not to tell Kenny. If I told him one thing, I'd have to tell him everything. I had to admit, I was scared to tell anyone. I didn't want pity. I already got enough of that from Bebe, Clyde, and my family. I didn't want people knowing more about me than they should. What was between Tweek and I stayed between us, and for good reason.
I looked over at Kenny to see him studying me. I didn't mind much. I was used to him going silent to examine little details. "What's that look for?" he asked.
"What look?" I asked.
"You get all spacey, like you're stuck in a different world or something." He furrowed his eyebrows, continuing to study my face. "You do that a lot. You look sad most of the time, too."
I shrugged. "Just got a lot on my mind," I said vaguely.
"That's code for 'don't pry.' Got it." He took another spoonful of ice cream. "Just remember I'm here for you," he spoke around the spoon, words distorted a bit.
"I've been hearing that a lot lately," I mumbled.
"People care about you, man. You've never really been able to see that," Kenny answered.
"Why do people care, though? I'm an asshole."
"You're a lovable asshole," he said, giggling slightly. "And it's hard to get rid of people who have been best friends with you since elementary. Or high school friends who have no concept of time passing." He gestured to himself on that last bit. "Graduation seems like it was just yesterday," he said with a small laugh.
"Don't go turning into an old man. You sound like my dad. He still wears his high school letterman sometimes," I said, laughing softly.
"I'll leave Clyde to be that guy," he replied.
We made small talk after that, the tension dispersed. Eventually, he coaxed me out of the room. He ended up staying for dinner, and went home after checking one last time that I was okay.
"Is it bad that it feels like a long and busy day even when I've done literally nothing?" I asked Bebe that night.
She shook her head. "You're grieving. It's going to be hard. It's going to be exhausting, but you've got to push through it. For now, though, you should get some rest.
I nodded and stood up off the couch. After changing, I headed off to bed.
The strange thing was, I didn't have another nightmare. I wasn't sure if I was too tired to dream or if my subconscious had given it a rest for the night. Either way, I was greatful to have at least one full night's sleep.
