A/N: This part gets really dark really quickly. *TRIGGER WARNING*

"Castiel~" Aunt Katherine yelled from the front door. "I'm home and guess who's with me!" Castiel walked in, his head to the side, what Dean calls the "confused kitten". Cas never understood why, he doesn't look like a cat. "I didn't expect you to be home so soon, I'm surprised." He looked into her honey colored eyes, and looked at her honey brown hair. "You know how I've been in a custody battle?" She asked, Cas nodded. "Well I finally won!" She yelled and moved from the door way, "Heya Cassie!" Gabriel yelled, throwing himself into Castiel's arms. "Gabe!" Cas wrapped his arms around the shorter one. Katherine began wiping her tears, they've been fighting for months and she finally got her son back. They let go, "It's been so long since I've seen you." Gabe smiled, "I know! How are you doing Cassie?" Gabe asked, his eyes filled with concern. "I'm doing good." Cas smiled reassuringly and he nodded. "You'll have to meet my best friend Dean Winchester and his little brother Sam, they're really great." Gabe sighed, "So Dean-O and Samantha?" He laughed and opened up a sucker. Cas cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows. Gabe shrugged and walked upstairs.

"Heya Cas." Dean answered his phone. "Hello Dean." Cas said, "You should come over and bring Sam. My aunt Katherine finally got her son, Gabriel, back and I want you to meet him."
"We'll be there in a jiffy."

"Hello Dean, Sam." Cas smiled and let the Winchester boys in. Dean hugged Cas and walked in. He felt a blush spread across his cheeks. "Gabriel," Cas yelled, "get in here!" The small 15 year old slides through, "Dean-O," he looked up at Sam, "and Samsquatch. Holy sh-"
"Language Gabe!" His mom yelled.
Gabe rolled his eyes, "Nice to finally meet Cas's boyfriend and his brother." He smiled and Cas put his head in his hands, feeling the blush spread across his cheeks. "Gabriel, he's not m-" Gabriel put his hand up as to shush Cas, "I understand Cassie." Dean knitted his eyebrows, "Cassie?" He asked. Cas shook his head. "Yeah..." Gabe said, "What do you call him?" Dean shrugged, "Cas." Gabe shrugged back. "So Samsquatch, I know you probably haven't been here that much so let me give you the grand tour!" Gabe grabbed Sam's arm and started running. Dean smiled, "He's a handful isn't he?" Cas laughed, "You have no idea." Cas nodded towards the kitchen, and they started walking.

"Hey Dean!" Katherine walked over and hugged him. "I'm glad you came." Dean stood close to Cas, closer than normal. "Hey Kath." Cas looked over at him and smiled, his eyes soft. "Umm Cas, why don't you guys go ahead and go upstairs, I'll call you when foods ready." She smiled and nodded, so they headed upstairs.

When they got in his room Dean put his hand on Cas's shoulder, "Hey man, you okay?" Cas smiled, "Yeah, I feel good. Better now that your here." Dean smiled and his eyes were soft. They sat there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes -as they often do- when they were interrupted but Gabriel and Sam, "And you said he wasn't your boyfriend." The two boys laughed, "What would Lisa say Dean? What would Lisa say?" They laughed some more while the other two rolled their eyes.

They continued to talk to Sam and Gabriel until Katharine was yelling that it was time to eat. They ate and had a good time, Cas actually enjoyed himself. When it was time to say goodbye, Dean pulled Cas aside. "Hey man, remember, talk to me next time you feel that way. Your the greatest friend I've ever had. Don't ever change, Cas." He put his hand on Cas's shoulder and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, Dean."

Cas stayed in the kitchen to help Katherine clean up. "So you and uh, Dean huh." She said with a smile. "What about him?" She laughed a little, "Do you have something to tell me, Castiel?" She said, nudging him slightly. Cas blushed and shook his head, "He has a girlfriend." Kath smiled, "Cassie, you can tell me." She stared at him and his blush deepened. "Yes, Katherine. I'm gay." She kissed his cheek, "Thank you for telling me, now go after him. I know how you look at him and I know how he looks at you. He's hot, young, and wants you Castiel. Go for it." Cas was blushing furiously, "Thank you for the talk. I-uh I'm done here so, uh, I'm gonna go in my room. Thanks for dinner." He said then stumbled out of the room, flustered.

Happiness only lasts for so long, the smile you carry can only hold for a few good hours, minutes, even seconds. Then, you feel it, no stopping it. The anger, self-hatred, and depression will always return, even when you don't want it to, you feel like you want to scream and you want everyone to hear, but your afraid for someone to hear, and the people who do hear you, won't care. Either way you feel as though your screaming is pointless. Cas thought as he stared blankly at his wall, he sighed. He curled into a ball on his bed, he had no strength to do anything else. He sat up and bit his lip, his wrists and the tips of his fingers were itching like crazy. He just sat in silence, resisting the urge to scream at the top of his lungs. He walked to his bathroom and pulled the little blade out of his cabinet, he pulled up his sleeve and stared at the scars. He felt empty. He took the blade and put the cool metal against his skin, slowly dragging it across, making sure he felt it, making sure he felt the pain, making sure he could still feel something. Tears rolled across his cheeks, what was he doing? Why was he doing this? He didn't know. But hell, he wished he knew, all he did was let people down. Right now, he's letting Dean down, he let his parents down, he let himself down, and it was only a matter of time before he let his aunt down. Lyrics came through his head:

What have I become
My sweetest Friend
Everyone I know
Goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

He looked down at his arm, six new lines were there, and they burned, they stung. He watched as the blood slowly dripped onto his bathroom floor. He dropped the blade in the sink, and began cleaning up the mess. After that he sat down, he was so angry with himself, he wanted to throw everything across his room but he couldn't. He stood up and turned on the water, undressed, climbed in and quietly sang Mama, I'm Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne, a song his mother use to sing to him when he was upset. He would call Dean afterwards, to talk to him. No, don't. He fought himself mentally. He doesn't care and you know it. Cas closed his eyes and let the water hit him, he was terrified. He was unsure of what he was capable of doing, next time could end up being the last.

The next day, Cas could hardly look Dean in the eye without becoming sick with guilt. Cas put his books in his locker and shut it, only to find Dean behind it. Cas jumped, "Cas, what's wrong?" He said. He shook his head, "Nothing's wrong, Dean. Why do you ask?" He asks, still not looking him in the eyes. Dean rolled his eyes, "Look at me, Castiel." Cas sighed and looked at him, his eyes began burning, "I'm sorry." A small whisper escaped. Dean's expression softened, "Cas..." he said softly. He came closer, "I told you to come and talk to me." Cas looked down, "I couldn't face you-" Dean cut him off, "It doesn't matter." He said sternly. "I knew you would be disappointed in me..." he said, then bit his lip. "I'm not disappointed, Cas, I'm just- I'm just sad. I care for you so much, I don't want you hurting yourself." Lisa came up behind him and brought him into a kiss, Cas looked down, seeing that hurt him more than it should. "Hey baby." Lisa said, Cas rolled his eyes slightly, hoping they didn't notice. "Hey Lis." She raised an eyebrow, "Okay." She looked at Cas, slightly annoyed, ever since he came in, Lisa hasn't seen Dean as often and she blames it on him. "You just gotta talk to me, Cas. Please." He said, Cas nodded softly, "Bye Dean." Cas said, he turned around and quickly walked away.