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And bada-bing! Another chapter, as promised, fresh from the ovens, etcetera etcetera.... :] Oh, don't forget, even with Rory gone on the Obama trail and then working for the Times living in Manhattan, Lorelai has still been going to Friday Night Dinners all this time, most of the time Luke and then Will, too. Not to give that away, but come on: you knew the Gilmores were coming sometime. ;] Oh, and the title of this chapter is a line from Elton John's "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting," which Lorelai quoted in season 6. Okay, go on...

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"Oh my God, I cannot believe you're gonna have a baby! Okay, so, fill me in; how did Logan take it?"

Rory crossed her legs up onto the couch to face Lane better and hugged one of the throw pillows. Ever since Steve and Kwan came along the place had been decidedly cozier, though it had its train-wreck aspects now that the boys were three and running and....well, boys. They were currently down for a nap, though, so all was quiet on the girltalk front.

"He took it really well," Rory told her. "He's excited, he's supportive, barely freaked at all---he's being great," she said honestly. "And mom and Luke took it really well too. I mean, I guess I was kind of expecting them to flip out. It wouldn't be unexpected, they've got priors."

"Well, they just know you're ready," Lane concluded. She was always good at that; taking this kind of situation and reducing it into one neat reason. "You're just lucky Logan was so cool with it, you know, unlike some people, who don't even register what you've said until days after you've said it." Ah, yes, the infamous story that Zach would probably love to erase from the anecdote list.

Rory smiled. "I am ready, aren't I?" It wasn't even a question, so much as a pleasant realization.

"You are! And if you have any questions you must come to me; I am the baby guru---not that you haven't already read every child-rearing book on the east coast."

"Not every one; I still haven't gotten through the 'q's."

"Right. My mistake."

At that moment the door flew open, and Zach came in with two grocery bags the size of Kwan and Steve. Following him were Gil and Brian, each with a bag of their own.

"Dude, all I'm saying is that no way would Sonic Youth tour with the Sugarplastic," Zach was saying.

"You'd tour with anyone if it meant prime-time placement." This from Brian.

"Are we really back to that again? Why don't we just record your endless nagging and cut a demo of that."

"Not me, man," Gil chimed in, "I got scruples."

Lane directed an apologetic look at Rory before siccing a punishing one on the rest of Hep Alien. "Guys! I thought I said band practice was canceled today. Rory's here and I just got the boys to sleep."

"Hey, I'm just here to schlep groceries," Gil defended.

"Kyon's in Korea for the summer. I'm bored," Brian admitted, "and I'm a follower."

"Dude, that is so not rock and roll..."

"Neither is using Pull-Ups coupons at Doose's..."

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The green Jeep and the silver Porsche were still there, sitting in the giant circular driveway, exactly as they'd been for the past five to ten minutes. And despite Logan's reassurances in one car and Will's adorable babbling in the other the whole way there, nobody was going inside. The four-and-a-half of them were just standing there, in an immaculately dressed and slightly nervous row.

"Anybody need the story?" Lorelai finally said, holding Will against a silk-clad hip.

Rory adjusted the hem of her best cute green cocktail dress. "I don't think the cow herderess thing'll apply anymore."

"I could modify it; it could be a cow herderess, two farm hands and a...okay, Will's still just a baby."

"Look, I say we just go in and see what happens," Logan suggested. His confidence was betrayed by the hand that kept reaching up to tug at his collar.

"Famous last words;" Lorelai snorted, "it'll be you they have keel-hauled."

"No, they like him, remember? They'll probably find some way to blame me for it," Luke pointed out.

"Oh, they will not."

"I wouldn't put it past them."

Rory reached over and swatted Logan's hand down. "Don't loosen your tie, these people can spot an undone Armani a mile away."

"Brooks Brothers Ace."

"The principle still stands."

"This isn't my first foray with Richard and Emily; they just keep it five thousand degrees out here."

"I doubt they control the weather."

"You don't know that."

Lorelai stepped up and rang the bell, just like ripping off a band-aid. "That goes for you too mister; hands off the collar," she directed at Luke, who rolled his eyes and re-tightened his own tie.

"I must be demented, I keep coming back here, every time it's like happiness's funeral."

Within moments, the great door was hauled open, and the latest in a never-ending stream of maids appeared on the other side. She took each of their coats and attempted friendly smiles with total stoicism, like some kind of jaded silent-movie character. A couple of 'how-do-you-respond-to-that' shrugs, and the group headed into the living room.

"No, Cecil, we told you," Emily was saying, "the function for the dystrophy association is on the fourteenth, not the fourth, and you have to make a donation or you don't get a seating." She and Richard were standing around the speakerphone, apparently dealing with yet another idiotic member of the human race.

"Oh, well...maybe I should discuss it with Vera then?" came from the phone.

"Maybe you should," Richard boomed, then muttered, "Insufferable woman."

"What was that?"

"An incomparable woman!"

"Well, all right, I'll let you get back to your evening. Thank you Richard, Emily; I'll get back to you by Sunday!"

"Goodbye Cecil."

"Good night, Cecil."

Once the phone was hung up and the neccesary exasperation put into sigh form, the elder Gilmores turned their attention to their guests.

"Rory!" Richard greeted with a hug. "It's certainly a pleasant surprise to have you in from the city. And you, Logan."

Rory hugged back. "Grandpa, we called to tell you we were coming."

"Yes, well, that doesn't mean it can't be a pleasant surprise just the same."

"And oh, Will," Emily cooed, "look how big you're getting!"

"Yes, yes, he's growing like a weed---in fact, he's on weed," Lorelai cracked.

"Lorelai!"

"Well, mom, it already made front-page news..."

Luke sensed that this would be a good moment to make his presence known---since it never was in the first place---to shift the attention. He'd become an expert at deflecting arguments like that. "Emily, Richard, good to see you again."

Emily looked him over, almost startled at where the voice came from, then snapped on her 'hostess' smile. "Yes, Luke, how lovely."

"Hello Luke. Mutual, I'm sure."

Everybody in the room over the age of two who didn't own a club membership threw Luke a sympathetic glance at that moment: a 'sorry hon' from Lorelai, a 'that's cold, man' from Logan, and from Rory, an 'at least you don't have to tell them what I have to tell them.' Truer words were never communicated.

The four of them took a seat, Will on Lorelai's lap, and Richard handed out the drinks---martinis for the girls, scotch for Logan, and a beer for Luke---he knew everyone's usuals by now. Rory set hers on the coffee table.

"So," Emily began, smiling like Christmas morning, "what brings you two to this neck of the woods on such short notice?"

Rory turned a tentative look toward Logan. Logan responded with an 'are you sure you wanna do it now' glance. Rory nodded ever so slightly. Lorelai gave them both the 'good luck' face. Luke was staring at his beer. Will was staring off into space. Basically, there was a whole lot of looking and staring going on.

Rory was the one to break the glance-fest, first with a deep breath, then with an actual sentence. "Grandma, Grandpa, Logan and I have something to tell you."

Logan took one more drink of his McKellan neat and set it down on the coffee table---that was as close as he was gonna get to a last meal. Emily put her 'suspicious' face on, but it was Richard who spoke; calmly, patiently, even downright pleasantly: "All right, what is this news of yours?"

"Well..." add a new word, attagirl, "the thing is...we're, going to have a baby."

"As in currently expecting, not as in some time in the distant future if that's what you were thinking," Logan chipped in.

"Right. Now. Well, not now now, that would be really crappy timing...."

She let the pathetic sentence kind of fade off, and it was back to the glancing as silence fell over the room, except now, all eyes were on Richard and Emily. The Gilmores were just sitting there, staring at the young Huntzbergers like somebody'd slapped them, and in the Gilmore-Danes corner Lorelai piped up with:

"Okay, wow, time flies when you're causing strokes. Great dinner mom, so we'll see you next week? Hokay."

But the Gilmores were too busy ignoring Lorelai, as was their behavioral pattern, and these big, goofy grins took over their faces, completely shocking everybody else. Except Will. Who burped. Because he's a baby. That's what they do.

"You're having a baby," Emily repeated through her grin.

"She's having a baby!" Richard laughed.

"Richard, they're having a baby!"

"So I heard!"

Both the grandparents hauled out of their seats and gave Rory a giant hug---everybody at this point was ignoring Lorelai's jaw on the floor---and Richard gave Logan a pat on the back that would have cleared up any asthma issues, along with a handshake that put the test to just how connected that shoulder was. Fine physician, that one.

"You have got to stop assuming people are going to take it badly," Lorelai gaped.

"Congratulations, you two---a new addition to the family is a fine blessing," Richard pronounced.

Emily nodded along with that. "We're so proud of you! The both of you."

Lorelai had to butt in there. "It's not like it's real difficult! You'd think you two would frown on the whole 'creation' process."

"Mom!"

"Well, come on! For me it's a 'congratulations, take vitamins,' but Snow White and Ryan Seacrest announce a bundle of joy and they roll out the diamond registry!"

"Oh, stop. We were thrilled when you told us about Will. And if you hadn't waited 'till your third month to tell us we'd have been even more thrilled." Emily Gilmore, master of the subtle guilt trip.

Richard was the one who brought them back on track with the subject. "We may have been a tad overprotective of Rory in the past---"

"A tad? You've done everything but lock her up in a tower with a fire-breathing dragon."

"---but that was a different time." He glared at Lorelai for the interruption, then continued. "She is a married young woman now, a Yale graduate with an excellent job, and I personally am fully confident in her abilities to handle this."

Rory was noticeably flattered. "Wow...thanks, Grandpa."

"And don't you give her any of your patented home-remedy advice," Emily warned, pointing a finger at Lorelai.

"Wow, thanks, mom."

Another comment ignored. The elder woman's focus was already back on Rory. "So how far along are you?" she asked excitedly.

"About two weeks," Rory replied.

There it was. Emily's face fell. "Two weeks?"

"Well..."

"You've known for two whole weeks and you didn't tell us?"

"Well actually I..."

"She just found out yesterday, Emily," Logan intervened, trying to keep the peace. He tried one of those 'it's-a-funny-story' grins. "I didn't even know until last night."

"That's hardly different," Emily scoffed.

The grin went away.

Nobody had noticed until now, but the Chaplin-esque maid was back in the doorway. "Dinner is served." Just those three words, and she was gone again. Probably a smart move.

"So, you're saying you wanted me to tell you before I told Logan?" Rory tried in disbeleif. "I mean, he's the father, I think if anybody should know first he's kind of earned it."

"Nonsense, that's absurd. You tell the father, you tell your mother, then you pick up the phone and you tell your grandparents!"

"Hey, everybody, I know you're in the middle of exodus but the scary scary maid said soup's on," Lorelai announced. "Shall we move this into the dining room and continue the celebration?" She leaded that last word with emphasis made specially for Emily. "Remember, the celebrating?"

Luke nodded helpfully as Lorelai stood up, taking Will from her and preparing to follow. "Dinner smells wonderful, Emily."

The rest of them stood---Rory and Logan cautiously, Richard exhaustedly, Emily just put-out---but nobody looked happy about it. It was a quiet parade into the dining room, but the conversation started up again just as everyone was seated and Luke was fastening Will into his six-trillion-dollar teak high-chair.

"So what about birthdays?" Emily demanded.

Rory: "Excuse me?"

"What about birthdays? Are we allowed to see the child on its birthday?"

"Emily..." Richard sighed.

"What? It's not a crazy question. We're not being told that its on its way, so why should we be allowed to see it?"

"Just be grateful they deemed it worthy to tell us face-to-face and not by instant message."

"Grandma, we weren't excluding you," Rory insisted. This was getting exasperating.

"What about delivery? I know you'll never let us be there for the birth, that's apparent. Are we at least allowed to send a nice greeting card?"

"You two can come to the birth if you want, Grandma."

"Emily, this was in no way a snub," Logan tried. "We just figured we were coming tonight anyway, it'd be better to tell you in person."

"Well, how thoughtful. I should feel lucky you dropepd by at all. If not who knows, I may not have found out 'till its fifth wedding anniversary."

"Hey, she didn't tell you for three months!" Rory reminded her, desperate to shift the focus, pointing at a gaping Lorelai.

"Hey! Just sitting here!"

"Maybe you could send us a picture on holidays, that way at least we'll get to feel as if we're involved; perhaps we could even talk to the picture and pretend it's the child."

"Look, everybody," Luke erupted. The rest of them shut up and took notice. "This is a good thing, so we're all gonna sit here and be happy about it and share a nice dinner together and forget about who told who when!" A pause, a glance around the table, then he lowered his volume. "Now; Richard, could you pass the carrots?"

That was without a doubt the most words Luke had consecutively spoken and the highest volume he'd spoken them at---ever---at a Friday Night Dinner. It was enough to shock everybody else into compliance, and Lorelai, Logan and especially Rory shot him a grateful look. Luke just went back to cutting up Will's carrots.

The silence lasted for about the next twenty minutes, until everybody heard a "Wogum" from the baby.

Emily paused, fork in midair. "What on earth is a 'Wogum?'"

"He can't say 'Logan' yet," Rory explained.

Lorelai started to push her chair back. "He probably needs changing and wants Logan to do it," she added.

"And he's done that?"

"Oh, yeah, he's been a huge help actually. Him and Rory both, when they're here. Will loves 'em. You eat, Logan, I'll get him."

"No, no, it's okay, absolutely not! I'll take him." Logan dropped his napkin on the table and stood up.

"You sure?"

"Oh, yeah, it's not a problem. Might as well practice." Lorelai shrugged and pushed her chair back in, and Logan grinned at his baby brother-in-law as he lifted him from the high-chair. "Ahh, there we go, come on big guy."

The girls watched him go, and then Lorelai turned to Emily.

"See mom? Wogum and Wowy know what they're doing."

Emily looked tired. "Wowy?"

"He can't say 'Rory' yet either. Or sometimes he calls her 'sissy,' which comes out like 'fiffy'...."

Lorelai slowly realized that both her parents were staring at her. "Sorry." And she went back to cutting up her carrots.

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The four-and-a-half of them were standing there again, nothing but a door between them and being Gilmored, only this time, they were facing the other way.

No one said anything. After a decade or two, Lorelai turned to Luke.

"Well; at least they ignored you."

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Man, I loved writing this chapter. Probably why it's longer than War and Peace. XD So c'mon, don't stop with the greatly appreciated reviews now---tell me what you liked! What you think! Which part was your favorite! Anything! And for a limited time, I'll throw in the promise of another chapter and a healthy dose of more of your favorite characters. ;]

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