A/N: So here's the fourth chapter. Thankyou SO MUCH to all the splendiferous people who reviewed – it was your comments that made me write. I love you all. Mwa.
Thankyou to my fantastic editor, lurv2boogie
Rememberal: Fred, George and Lee have been in detention writing copious lines of "I solemnly swear that I will never disrupt fellow students with humorous substances or disrupt important classes." Katie did not appreciate their boredom… especially since their pranks landed her with another week's worth of detention.
"And THEN, Katie was turned into a chipmunk by Snape, who had heard that she actually called Filch a squib." Angelina nodded sarcastically.
"And I suppose that you had nothing to do with anything, right boys?" Fred, George and Lee all vigorously shook their heads. Angelina rolled her eyes.
"Ah EXCUSE ME, Angelina! How can you not believe that she accidentally increased the volume of her voice by two hundred percent? We do it all the time, don't we, George?"
"Ah. Yes brother. All the time… accidentally of course!" Angelina sighed, and shook her head, muttering something that sounded very similar to the phrase 'boys will be boys', only with a slight alteration to 'boys'.
"Angelina! How could you? We are NOT bloody idiots!"
"Sure you're not, Fred. Sure."
"I think I may be insulted. Considering you weren't the one who had to write 'I solemnly swear that I will never disrupt fellow students with humorous substances or disrupt important classes.' FIFTY SODDING TIMES! FIFTY! As in… FIVE O. FIFTY! And it's not exactly a short sentence, either!"
"Oh gosh Fred, you're such a hero. I'm so sorry. You're so superior." Fred wore a proud expression as if he had just won an Olympic gold medal. He obviously didn't sense the sarcasm dripping from Angelina's words, and let her leave without hassle when she tried to leave to go to the library.
"Hah! Gotta keep them in line… women."
"Sodding hell! LEE! What is WRONG with you?" Lee was sitting on the ground, back up against the wall, coughing up rainbow-coloured grapes.
"Sor-cough-ry guys. It's just belch I guess writing so many lines a pink grape hit Fred in the nose after eating Honeydukes candy burp isn't too good for you. But I didn't think cough anything I ate would do grapes shot out of his mouth THIS to me!" Fred and George crouched down to Lee.
"Ah, dear brother," Fred said quite casually to George, looking at his watch, "he should be out cold in 3… 2… 1… 0"
Lee collapsed onto the hard stone floor of the hallway.
"Rito brother dearest. We should probably fix that minor glitch, huh?"
"Out cold every time. What a shame. And we were going to have a party tonight!"
"Is there any real reason why we shouldn't keep those plans?"
Fred thought for a moment. "Ah… nope!" He spotted two Gryffindors walking down the hallway, chatting to each other, "OI! YOU TWO!" The two jumped – normal people don't yell to others a metre away from them.
"Ah. Yes?"
"PARTY TONIGHT IN GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM!!"
"BE THERE… or be sphere!"
One of the Gryffindors looked confused, "Isn't it 'square'?"
George mumbled something about 'poetic licence' as the two Gryffindors bounced away. George started walking in the other direction until he realised that Fred wasn't following him. "Brother? Coming?" Fred was standing next to Lee, looking down on him.
"Georgie-porge, we really should do something with Lee. He's gonna be out cold for a while."
"I really do resent you calling me 'Georgie-porge', you know."
"George! Remember? Unconscious Lee?"
George grumbled, but shuffled over to help Fred examine Lee.
"Broom cupboard?"
"You read my mind."
"He's a hippopotamus - he's so goddamn HEAVY!"
"African elephant."
"Blue whale."
"Meerkat."
"You know, I heard that Meerkats are actually really small, cuddly and cute."
"Are you saying that Charlie was lying??"
"'Fraid so lil bro"
"I had NIGHTMARES about those vicious animals stalking me and ripping me apart!"
"… and it was all for nothing."
"Ooh. Revenge will be sweet."
Meanwhile, the unconscious Lee (having been dropped while the two discussed Meerkats), had been spotted by two pretty, young Ravenclaws, who were bending down to brush Lee's hair off his face.
"Would you two just shut up? Please?" one of them demanded to Fred and George.
"Oh. Right. Sorry." They shuffled over and bend down to look at Lee too.
"He needs a nose job," Fred kindly commented.
"And a new haircut," George put in. "I think it would be nice dyed red. You know, red is actually very in at the moment." He looked sideways at the two girls, and jerked his head towards them, as if to show them that he had red hair.
"Actually, black is so totally the new red. Didn't you hear?" the blond Ravenclaw questioned, "Red is SO five minutes ago!" The smiled sweetly at George, an angelic look playing across her face. Then she pulled out her want and whispered 'Renerverate" to the unconscious Lee, and walked away, her friend following closely behind her.
George muttered something about red never going out of fashion.
"You know, George? I think they liked us." Fred smiled at George, and turned to face Lee.
Lee's eyes slowly opened to see two concerned faces peering down on him. They looked like clowns with bright red hair and rather large noses.
"God, how long was I out?"
"A while," replied George softly.
"Minutes? Hours? Days?" Lee gave a little laugh, "Weeks?"
"Try months," frowned George, as Fred subdued a grin.
"Months?" said Lee sharply.
"Yeah months," nodded Fred seriously, "nearly eighteen to be precise."
"Oh my God, I can't believe it."
"I know," replied George, shaking his head. Lee moved his hand up to his head and sighed.
"This is not good. This is not good. This is not good," he muttered, repeating his little phrase over and over again, oblivious to Fred and George conversing quietly.
"So lil bro. 'I solemnly swear that I will never disrupt fellow students with humorous substances?' More like 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!'" he smirked as he drew his wand out of his bag, twirling it in his long fingers.
"Agreed."
The two looked back at Lee, who was looking up at them curiously. George covered quickly.
"We just popped into see you after our end-of-year feast."
"You still checked up on me after all this time?" asked an amazed Lee.
"Yeah," admitted Fred, "we come in once a week like clockwork, can't have our best friend missing out on any of the going on in the school."
"I can't believe it's been eighteen months," Lee moaned glumly. "Oh God, you don't think that they'll make me start over next year do you?"
"More then likely Lee," Fred said sombrely.
"You've missed loads of lessons," agreed George, whose face suddenly lit up with an idea. "Look. How about if we all go to Dumbledore and explain that Fred and I will bring you up to speed as much as we can over the summer and see if that'll be enough to let you start the third year with us."
"You'd do that?"
"Hey," Fred placed a caring hand on Lee's shoulder, "George and I take care of our friends."
"You guys are the best," complimented Lee smiling at his 'kind-hearted' friends.
"Mr Jordan," Professor McGonagall walked over to the three boys, "I take it that you'll be fine to do the quidditch commentary for next week's game?"
"So you let me keep the position of commentator?"
"Well of course we did!" frowned Professor McGonagall "why would we take that privilege away from you? You haven't done anything wrong, have you?"
"No. Because I've missed so much, and I might be held back a year," pointed out Lee equally confused.
"And why would you be held back a year?" asked McGonagall deeply concerned at her student's deteriorated mind.
"Because of how long I have been unconscious."
"You've been unconscious?" she asked worriedly.
"Yes! How could you not know?"
"Well Mr Jordan, you were fully conscious for my transfiguration lesson this morning."
"This morning?" Lee asked slowly, as the twins' shoulders shook with silent laughter, "So I haven't been unconscious for eighteen months?"
"Of course not! Don't be daft. You must have really hit your head hard!"
Lee sat quickly up; ignoring the obviously pained resistance put up by his body, and stabbed an accusing finger at Fred and George.
"You…complete…" he stuttered, his finger shaking with rage, he finished off the sentence with a rather vulgar and highly inaccurate swear word. Fred and George spent the rest of the day making strange poems with that swear word and the word 'itches'.
Once Fred and George had escaped Lee, who had realised that being unconscious for half an hour didn't paralyse your limbs, the two stumbled into the common room.
After playing exploding snap for an hour, and bribing the fifth years to play with them, only for the older kids to realise that the pack had been configured to give the brothers and unfair advantage and turn Fred and George's pack into cabbages, the two found that they were utterly bored.
Miraculously, they actually decided on their own to start on their homework (but this decision could have been prompted by the howler that Mrs Weasley send through to the common room, threatening to take away their allowance unless they got started on their homework).
So the twins went searching for their school bags, and they both upturned their bags onto the floor to begin.
"Oi Fred," George asked, "Is this yours?"
He was holding an old piece of parchment with green, dainty lines flooding its area, and little dots with tiny labels that seemed to move.
Fred peered over and read aloud the title that shimmered at the top of the parchment.
"The Marauder's Map."
At that point, the two would never have guessed how many times Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs would save their life in two ways - by getting them out of trouble, and by making their time at Hogwarts a lot more interesting...
FIN
