It was the morning of her daughter's first day of preschool and Maura was trying her hardest to keep herself fully composed. Her little girl was growing up right before her eyes and, although she was only three-years-old, she knew the years would fly by and it wouldn't be long before her daughter was starting kindergarten, and then junior high and high school. After that would be college and, if Maura had any say in the matter, Chloe would go to medical school.
For as long as Maura had been Chloe's mother, she wanted to inspire a passion for learning in her daughter. Maura found a way to turn even their most mundane chores and errands into educational activities. When they went grocery shopping, Maura would list the items they would buy so Chloe could learn about identification. While they folded their laundry, Maura would teach her about shapes and colors. Chloe enjoyed all of the activities her mom created for her, but her favorite activities were all science related like making fossilized handprints to see how much her hands have grown and making edible play dough that the two of them would mold into different shapes. Chloe was also fascinated with Bass and her favorite pastime was taking care of him and listening to her mom's daily facts about tortoises. It was Chloe's responsibility to feed Bass and doing so made her feel like a big girl because she played such an important role in the caretaking of her best friend.
Chloe's closet had been divided into two sections with yellow hangers on clothes she could wear on hot days and blue hangers for clothes she could wear on cold days. Maura did this to give Chloe independence and help her with decision-making skills. Chloe always chose what she wanted to wear with just a little intervening from Maura. For her first day of school, she had chosen a pink and white checkered sundress with white sandals. Maura had made numerous attempts at putting her daughter's hair in pigtails, but each time Chloe complained about the rubber bands being too tight for her, so Maura decided to let her hair hang down.
After Chloe had finished breakfast and her lunch had been packed carefully into her personalized lunchbox, the two of them were on their way to Chloe's new school. When they arrived, Maura was elated to find her best friend Pam amongst the crowd of parents saying tearful goodbyes to their children.
"Can you believe these people?" Pam asked Maura. "It's just preschool. We aren't shipping them off to Harvard yet. Don't tell me you're going to cry."
"I want to cry for her, not for myself," Maura pointed out. "I worry about the other kids teasing her or whether or not she'll be afraid to play with them."
"She's in good hands," Pam said reassuringly. "She has my little Mackenzie and I'm sure their teacher won't let anything happen to either of them. Do you girls want to go play now?"
"Yeah!" Mackenzie said excitedly. "C'mon, Chloe."
Chloe glanced at Mackenzie and then looked back at Maura as if she was deciding what she should do. She then held her arms out for Maura to pick her up. "I love you, Mommy."
"I love you, too, Chloe Jane," Maura responded. She was trying not to cry because she knew if she started crying her daughter would have a similar reaction. "You have my number in your phone. Just press the blue button if you need me for anything." Maura had always thought three-year-olds were too young to have phones, but it was commonplace in their neighborhood, so Maura decided to buy one for Chloe that could only dial two numbers: her mom's and her grandma's.
"Okay, Mommy," Chloe said before squirming to let her mom know she wanted to play.
"Bye, girls," Pam called out, but the girls had already started running to the swings.
Maura's new best friend Pam was what most people would consider a stereotypical Bel-Air housewife. As the wife of an entertainment lawyer, she had never worked a day in her life and she spent most of her time shopping on Rodeo Drive and attending galas and dinners with her husband and his clients. Her hair color was artificial as were her breasts and her nose, but what mattered to Maura was that her personality was genuine. She never lacked for material possessions, but Pam was still a grounded and kind-hearted woman.
The two of them had met at a café on Rodeo Drive just days after Maura had moved to Los Angeles. She was still heartbroken and wondering if she had made the right decision. There were slightly over a dozen people at the café, but that didn't matter to Maura. She could no longer hold back her tears and she started crying in front of everyone while she sat at a table by herself. That's when Pam excused herself from the group she was with and pulled up a chair next to Maura. The two of them talked for an hour about Jane and how different Los Angeles was from Boston. Before Pam left, the two of them had exchanged phone numbers and had been best friends ever since.
"How was Boston?" Pam asked as they watched their girls play on the swings before school started.
Before Maura could even answer her question, she heard the sound of their friend Michelle approaching them. She had just dropped off her son Jayden and they were surprised that she had decided to drop him off instead of making her wife do the honors. "Hey, bitches," Michelle said after she wedged her way in between them.
"You've surfaced," Pam said sarcastically. "And you're sober."
Their friend Michelle was the less talked about aspect of the Bel-Air housewife stereotype. Her wife was a producer and the only time they were together was when they were forced to make appearances at the same galas Pam and her husband would attend. The rest of Michelle's time was spent shopping, drinking, and screwing every woman she possibly could. Michelle and her wife had once loved each other and Maura wondered what had happened to their loving relationship that had caused Michelle to start acting the way she was, but Pam had told her not to bring up the subject because nobody knew and nobody would ever know. Michelle was no more than arm candy for her wife and she was given free rein to have affairs as long as she was discreet about it in public. She had once tried to seduce Maura after Pam had introduced them to each other, but Maura rejected her advances. Michelle was upset at first. "No woman ever turns me down," she had told Maura, but she started to respect her once Pam had told her Maura's story.
"I saw Jane," Maura confessed. She had wanted to hide it from them, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they found out.
"And?" Michelle asked. "She's married, isn't she?"
"Jane wouldn't do that to her," Pam added.
"She's been waiting four years for me," Maura told them. "She hasn't been with another woman."
"Bullshit!" Michelle laughed. "And you believe that, Maura?"
"I trust Jane," Maura said defensively.
"Why?" Michelle asked. "She lied to you about that bitch Sam. She supposedly cheated on you and then she didn't. You really think she was taken advantage of? If she was taken advantage of, wouldn't she have done something about it? She's a fucking detective. Is this bitch in jail?"
"No," Maura responded, well aware of where this was headed.
"And why was Jane talking to her to begin with? If this bitch was so horrible to her, wouldn't she have had the sense to stay away?" Michelle asked in a raised voice. The other parents were starting to stare at them, but that failed to calm her down. "Look how she treated you after having sex with Lisa when you were legally separated. She thinks the whole fucking world revolves around her."
"You've never met Jane," Pam tried to reason with her.
"I don't need to meet her," Michelle said angrily. "These women are all the fucking same, Maura. My wife, your ex-wife, all of them. Them and their alpha female 'I wear the pants in the relationship' bullshit. They think all we're good for is to look pretty for them and get on our knees and suck their clit when they get home."
"Jane was never like that," Maura said in Jane's defensive. "She was protective, but she always treated me like an equal. Jane and I still love each other."
"Keep telling yourself that," Michelle responded before looking at her phone. "I have to go. Maura, I love you. Just don't fall for her bullshit. If you want to screw her, do it, but don't love her."
"Jane isn't Katherine," Maura told Pam after Michelle had left. "She shouldn't compare Jane to her wife."
"I know that, but she doesn't," Pam insisted. "Don't let Michelle or anyone else run your life. If you love Jane and Jane loves you, there's no reason why you two can't make it work. Did you ever think it might be better if Chloe had two parents?"
"Chloe gets along well with her," Maura said as she smiled for the first time during their conversation.
"She loves you, she gets along with daughter, your daughter gets along with her, and you obviously love her, so what are you waiting for?"
Pam's question remained on Maura's mind even as she was in her office. The first spare moment she was given, she pulled out her cell phone and called Jane. There was a possibility Jane wouldn't answer, but Maura figured it was worth a try.
The phone rang just once when she heard the sound of Jane's voice. "Maura!"
"I love you," Maura said unexpectedly.
"I love you, too," Jane responded in the same loving tone of voice she used when they were married.
"If we book a flight for you right now, you could be in Los Angeles before the sun sets," Maura pointed out.
"Assuming I have the day off and I'm not at my desk right now," Jane told her. "We don't have nine to fives, Maura. This isn't going to be easy for us. There might be months we don't see each other."
"Are you alone?" Maura asked.
"Kind of," Jane responded.
"That's why you're saying my name and saying that you love me while you're at your desk," Maura pointed out. "If anyone was around you, you wouldn't have answered your phone when you saw that it was me calling you."
"Maura—"
"I have to hang up," Maura interrupted. "I should be in the lab right now."
Maura hung up her phone before Jane could get another word in. She was conflicted and she knew she would be for awhile. She wanted to believe Pam, but after her phone conversation with Jane, she started to wonder if Michelle was right. Were they really all the same? Did Jane even deserve her love? You're overreacting, Maura. Jane loves you and you shouldn't let Michelle get to you, but the pep talk she was trying to give herself wasn't working. All she could think about was what Michelle had said.
