My Bad Life...with a Perk


The Bandits were the pig kind. They were just stealing an old woman. "Um...do you really think you're getting away from this?" Po asked. Ghost Tai-Lung was there too. In no time, Po defeated all the bandits and took them away to prison. But one of the bandits shouted as they left.

"You stupid, dumb, fat panda!" For some reason, Tai-Lung heard Po growl.

"Po, easy," Tai-Lung said holding Po back a little. Po stopped growling.

"I'm gonna go workout," Po grunted.


That day was also the day that the Furious Five were coming back. While they were coming in, Po was...venting.

"PULL!" Po shouted. Zeng threw a plate in the air and Po punched it out of the air. "PULL!" Zeng did it again. "PULL!"

"I think you're starting to blow off steam the wrong way," Tai-Lung commented. Po just glared at him.

"PULL!" Po shouted.

"How many?" Zeng said getting tried.

"ALL OF THEM!" Po shouted stood ready. Zeng threw all the plates on the nearby table in the air. With a rage of power, Po broke all the plate with one punch. Po panted heavily.

"I'll clean that," Zeng sighed.

"No, no. I made the mess. I'll clean it up. Thank you Zeng for helping me," Po said getting the broom as Zeng went away.

"Okay, now I'm convinced. You really are angry. What was it that that thief told you that angered you so much?" Tai-Lung asked. Po was silent for a moment.

"I've been called that for the longest. I guess I just finally snapped," Po sighed. Then Tai-Lung got an idea. When Po was done with his work, Tai-Lung grabbed Po and brought him to his room. Just then the Furious Five came in.

"Ah, Po. It's good to see you're doing okay. Did you take care of everything in the valley?" Master Shifu asked.

"Yes, Master Shifu," Po said. Then they went away. Tigress did her usual glare at Po before going. "Now, you were saying?"

"I want you rest relax and tell me about your childhood," Tai-Lung said sitting in a chair propping his leg over other one.

"What are you, my psychiatrist?" Po asked. Tai-Lung still went along with the plan. Po sighed. "Fine."

"Good. Now, tell me where this all started. This struggle in your life," Tai-Lung said. Just then Monkey was walking the halls and started to eavesdrop. He couldn't hear Tai-Lung but he did hear Po.

"Well, I was baby at a panda village. By my memories, I can tell that I was a very happy baby. Then my village was under attack by Lord Shen's army. I don't know what happened to my parents. Then, in order to save me, my mother put me into a radish basket. I was transported to my now-dad, Mr. Ping. I was named Xiao Po," Po explained. Tai-Lung motioned for him to continue. "Well, it seemed that only my dad liked me. Everyone else either thought I was a dumb panda or picked on me. Then things started to get worse when I tried being nice to girls. They would always laugh at me and call me names, along with their boyfriends."

"But things got better when you became the Dragon Warrior, right?" Tai-Lung said. Po glared at him. "Okay, maybe not."

"Things seemed to change to the better for me when I was chosen. Everyone started to respect me, love me, and treat me well. Everyone OUTSIDE the Jade palace. It was tough the first few days. Shifu was at his strictest. When you left, he never smiled again," Po said. Monkey was wondering who he was talking to but he still listen in. "And the Furious Five all thought I was an idiot. 'He's such the Dragon Warrior that fell out of the sky in a ball of fire.' Crane said. 'When he walks, the very ground shakes,' Mantis teased. 'One would think that Oogway would actually choose a warrior that knew Kung Fu,' Tigress said angrily. 'Yeah, or at least can touch his toes,' Crane said. 'Or see his toes,' Monkey added. It was just a world of hurt for me," Po said sadly. Monkey felt awful for saying that.

"They couldn't have said that to you," Tai-Lung said shocked that anyone would do that, especially the protectors of the valley.

"Oh yes they did. But they had the decency not to say it in front of me," Po said looking out the window of his room, "To be honest, you aren't suppose to be the bad guy. I am. Considering everything that's happened to me. And the worse part is that it will never change."

"Why do you say that?" Tai-Lung asked.

"Because, even if the Furious Five were eavesdropping on our conversation right now, they would most likely make a celebration for me to get the guilt of their chests and then just go back to business as usual. When it was told to me that I was to turn evil, they treated me like I was a complete stranger, not their friend. It was then I realized that I was just another warrior to them," Po sighed. "I'm 30 year old panda that just mistakenly got in front for Oogway to point at me."

"Wow. Wait, you're 30! You look like 19 or 20! You're really thirty?!" Tai-Lung said shocked, so was Monkey.

"Actually, I'm 29 pushing to thirty. But that's how it is," Po shrugged. Monkey couldn't take any more of it. He quietly and sadly walked away thinking how to make it up to Po.

"So what about Master Tigress?" Tai-Lung asked. Po looked at him confused.

"What about her? Wait, how does Tigress fit into this?" Po asked.

"Well, she seems to be significant to you," Tai-Lung guessed.

"Well...I know that it may seem that she's very cruel and mean-"

"Which she can be," Tai-Lung interrupted.

"But I know that underneath, she's really just frightened," Po said quietly.

"Frightened? What do you mean?" The Snow Leopard asked.

"She...never had the love from Shifu that you had. So, she has grown this rough exterior that is hard to break sometimes. I've seen her break through it some times but it's rare," Po explained. Tai-Lung sighed.

"Well, I think you'll be okay," He said, "Now, let's get to the kitchen, I can hear your stomach growling." Po laughed.


"Tai-Lung!" Chou exclaimed shaking Tai-Lung awake, "Some bandits are attacking the village." Tai-Lung got up from his meditation.

"Well, don't just stand there then, let's go," Tai-Lung said. The snow leopard, the bunny, and the wolf boy charged into valley.


The next day, Po was looking at the Dragon Warrior Scroll above the Pool of Reflection. Tigress walked up to him. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be Dragon Warrior, Tigress?" Po asked.

"Are you trying to taunt me?" Tigress asked angrily.

"No, I was just curious because I can tell you what it's like. It SUCKS!" Po angrily exclaimed on the last word. Tigress was surprised. "All those people down there praising you, honoring you, but it's not you they're honoring you. They're honoring the title, the name. They could care less about who's protecting them. They just want someone to protect them. They don't recall all the times they said you were stupid, dumb, or stuff like the questions you ask are stupid," Po said bringing up Tigress's neglect for asking a lot of questions, "They just cheer on and say, 'He's a somebody. I wish I was like him'. It's so bad that you just want to abandon these people. But you have to protect them, or else it will plague on your mind for the longest." The two were silent for a while. "Sorry for getting in your way, Tigress," Po turning to leave.

"Po, wait," Tigress said halting the panda, "I'm...sorry for being so mean to you lately."

"I'm sorry, too. I know how hard it is you," Po said.

"To what?"

"To apologize. I'm sorry," Po said sadly.

"Po, I'm the one to blame here. I didn't give you a chance. I'm sorry," Tigress said regretfully. Po bowed with a smile.

"It's alright. I forgive you," Po said. Tigress showed a small smile as she bowed too and start to walk out.

"Aw, someone's in love," Ghost Tai-Lung teased.

"Will you PLEASE-" Tigress turned around to an opened-mouth panda. "Tell...Master Shifu that I...am going to go meditate. Thanks Tigress," Po said with a sheepish smile. Tigress finally went away. Po continued to look at the scroll. Then an idea came into his head. "Scrolls!"

"What?" Tai-Lung questioned.

"Scrolls. There must be something somewhere in the Jade Palace about Abba. That way we can figure out what exactly what we're going to be doing," Po said. Tai-Lung thought about it.

"That's a great idea. You look in the scrolls and I'll ask the old folks around the villages," Tai-Lung agreed. Then he disappeared.

to be continued.