(Just a quick note: All questions the story brings up will be answered by the own story.)
Chapter 3 - Flight
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"Since when did you know?"
The question left Makoto's lips softly, so quietly it gave Haruka the chance to pretend he hadn't heard his friend. It was on purpose, of course; but it didn't feel forced, the same way the soft taps with the gauze on Haruka's forehead were just natural. Haruka knew Makoto wouldn't judge him no matter what he answered, no matter his words were a lie; and maybe that truth was what hurt the most. Makoto should be angry, not cleaning his wound.
Haruka also knew Makoto wasn't the only member of the Order interested in Rin, and his friend wouldn't stand the pressure of them asking and would end up telling them. He didn't feel any resentment, though; besides, there wasn't much he could do to embellish reality at that point. He just wanted to be honest with Makoto for once.
"When Rin started avoiding us, I tried to talk to him." It felt so far away, like it had been ages since Haruka finished his last year at Hogwarts. "Before the N.E.W.T.s I found him in the sixth floor bathroom. And I saw it." Haruka's finger drew the shape of the disgusting tattoo on his inner left forearm. He had been horrified when he had seen it for the first time, but now it was etched on his retinas; he usually saw it engraved onto the sky before finding people whose only crime, like his own, had been existing.
Haruka sometimes forgot he had found Rin's Dark Mark only seconds after kissing him. It was hard thinking the stiffened, unsettled boy that had kissed him back was the same person working for a wizard that wanted to slaughter people like Haruka and wouldn't even give a proper explanation.
His lips still tasted bitter, even after three months.
It shouldn't have been like that.
Makoto's hand, previously holding Haruka's fringe off his forehead, fell to the side. Haruka hissed when his hair fell on the wound, but didn't ask his friend to fix it with magic. It would heal on his own, and it wasn't even serious.
"He did it… even before we left Hogwarts?" Makoto asked weakly.
Haruka didn't move. "I should've noticed sooner."
"It was Rin who chose to befriend Mucilber and Avery," Makoto reminded him. The statement didn't do anything to ease Haruka's guilt.
He just looked at his friend, voicing the question he had been wondering for years.
"If he had us, why did he do that?"
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Working at Flourish and Blotts was usually easy.
The problem came when some lunatics decided to set half of Diagon Alley on fire.
Now, Sousuke was stressed. The book shop had had to order a copy of every book that had burnt (which meant most of them), and organizing them was a pain. Even more so since his new boss was muggle-born and, therefore, loved unnecessary work.
Sousuke had never really understood why anyone would rather waste energy rather than be more efficient with just a flick of a wand.
His back hurt when they finally closed down the shop; he just wanted to go to bed and sleep for eight hours and maybe write a letter for Rin. Not that he hoped Rin would write back. Lately Sousuke didn't even know if his friend actually read his letters; the last one Gou had sent Sousuke said Rin had barely been home for the whole summer.
Sousuke was thinking about asking Rin's mother about her son when he entered the Leaky Cauldron. However, his musings were interrupted when an arm slid around his shoulder and the most annoying person he had ever met practically dragged him towards the counter.
"…so long! I missed you, you know; not hearing you snoring every night gave me insomnia, so…"
Kisumi," Sousuke grunted, "get off me."
Kisumi smirked as his arm fell to his side.
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
"No." Though it was good knowing he was fine. Lately, the Death Eaters had been unusually active. "What do you want?"
Kisumi didn't answer immediately; he ordered two Firewhiskeys and insisted on toasting 'for the good times' Sousuke couldn't quite remember.
"So, Sousuke," he started, and his tone got serious, devoid of all playfulness, "have you seen Rin lately?"
Sousuke's fingers tensed around his glass before he shook his head. "I haven't seen him since we finished Hogwarts," he admitted.
"It's a pity." Kisumi pouted. "But he was acting weird even before, right?"
Sousuke tried to ignore the pang of jealousy caused by the memories. He knew it was silly; he had felt betrayed when Rin chose Mucilber over him, but had never said anything about it. It wasn't like Rin had ever stopped talking to him during their years at Hogwarts, either; he had just made more friends that required his attention.
"He has his own way of doing things," he eventually muttered.
Kisumi downed the rest of his Firewhiskey. "Like becoming a Death Eater?" he asked calmly.
Sousuke froze.
"What?"
Kisumi bit his lip, looking down.
"He was involved in the attack to Diagon Alley," he muttered, "and he also was in a house where Death Eaters had tortured and killed three women."
"That's not true," Sousuke blurted out. It was absurd; it didn't make sense. Rin wasn't able to hurt a fly.
"There were witnesses."
"It wasn't him." Sousuke refused to believe Rin could do such things. Sure, he had distanced himself from everyone, but that didn't mean he was a criminal. It was more likely that he was having some sort of late adolescence crisis.
But Kisumi kept staring at his empty glass. He wasn't smiling.
"I was asked to investigate you, since you two were good friends," he admitted quietly. "But I guess you know nothing. I'm sorry."
Sousuke could only look at his friend as he paid for the two Firewhiskeys and walked out the pub.
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Haruka was expecting to be the centre of attention, but it didn't make the experience any better.
He hadn't felt relieved when Nao and Natsuya had announced, after coming back from the triple crime scene, that they all needed to rest; he had known then that what they really wanted was for him to clear his mind so they got all the information they needed.
"So he's actually a Death Eater? With Dark Mark and all?" Haruka nodded, not knowing what else to do, denying it at that point would have been ridiculous. Seijuurou fell silent for some minutes. "But for some reason he seems prone to talk to you."
"He only tells me to stay away," Haruka muttered.
"It's still more than what anyone else can get from him. And we only need for him to talk to you until we catch him, then–"
Haruka's head snapped up.
"What?"
Nao and Natsuya looked at each other and sighed.
"Look, Nanase, I know he was your friend," Seijuurou started. "But he's now a Death Eater. An enemy. We can't let you two chase each other forever in the middle of a war–"
"So what do you want to do? Forcing Rin to talk?" Haruka pursed his lips together. "That's not different from what they do."
"Haru…" Haruka turned towards Makoto. "I think– I mean, maybe it's not the best course of action, but making Rin, out of all people, talk doesn't seem difficult–"
"No," Haruka closed his hands into fists. He had been in the Order long enough to know what kind of methods to make people talk were used during times of war. And Rin had become a, almost complete stranger to him, but Haruka could at least tell he was unhappy; he wouldn't betray him like that.
Although he's already betrayed you by joining the Death Eaters.
Haruka swallowed his doubts as he stood up and walked out of the room. He was aware having Rin with them would help him realise working for Voldemort had probably been the stupidest idea he could have thought about, but doing it against his will was wrong; besides, he wouldn't allow anyone to hurt Rin in exchange for information.
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Makoto sighed as Haruka slammed the door shut. He hadn't expected anything else. Haruka tended not to reason whenever Rin was involved.
"Okay, now." Seijuurou ran his fingers through his hair; Makoto tore his gaze off the door and looked at him. "Tachibana, Nanase can't hear a word about this."
"About what?"
"Shigino," Kisumi sat upright, "follow Nanase until you find out something about Matsuoka. Also, keep an eye on his friend…"
"Sousuke," Kisumi reminded him. He didn't look happy with his task.
"But that's not–" Makoto started, only to be interrupted.
"We need information and right now Matsuoka is the easiest resource," Seijuurou explained. "I don't care Nanase wants his secret love story; he's a Death Eater."
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That Sunday, Haruka Disapparated from the house he shared with Makoto before his friend woke up.
Makoto hadn't told him anything, but Haruka didn't need him to. He hadn't expected the Order would give up the chance of interrogating Rin, and he knew the reason Makoto acted so weird around him was that he knew what the others were up to.
Haruka wasn't even sure Rin would show up; he knew his friend had understood the offer, and he was aware Rin would be able to go to the cherry tree field if he wanted to– but there were thousands of things that could go wrong. Or Rin might simply stand him up.
But he had to try; he wouldn't give up without doing everything he could to bring Rin back.
That was why he filled his bag with grilled mackerel, rice and a water bottle, grabbed his broom and materialised in the place that brought so many memories to him.
He felt watched; he had known someone was following him since he refused to fool Rin for the Order's sake, but Haruka wasn't nervous. It was dawn, and he was planning to spend the whole day there. It would make whoever was watching him get tired and leave and give Haruka time to soothe his nerves and make up his mind about what he wanted to tell Rin. It was probably their last chance to sort things out– and Haruka wouldn't waste it.
Haruka spent the morning flying over the trees, enchanting stones so they moved around and pursuing them. He managed to forget his stalker for a while; and when he closed his eyes and focused he could hear the wind whistling as Rin caught up with him as he had done in dozens of quidditch matches. Haruka never let the Rin in his imagination beat him, though.
If the real Rin were going to appear, Haruka wouldn't let him win, either. But he really yearned for a competition with him.
At midday Haruka landed and ate his mackerel and rice, sharpening his ears. He was fairly sure whoever was watching him had gotten bored, but he didn't know if he was alone.
Haruka got tired of chasing stones by mid-afternoon. He laid on the broomstick staring at the sky instead, watching as its blue slowly darkened and the sun stopped warming him. By the time it disappeared behind the mountains, Haruka was shivering, refusing to land despite there were already stars in the firmament. At least Haruka was now almost sure that nobody was watching him.
But Rin– where was he?
Maybe killing more muggle-borns.
Maybe he's told his friends to deal with you instead.
Maybe he just doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore.
Haruka shook his head. It was more likely that Rin had just forgotten, wasn't it?
"So you were serious."
Haruka almost fell from his broom in his hurry to turn around. He didn't mind, though, not when he saw Rin sitting on his own, a cautious look in his eyes and exhaustion taking over his entire form, but there.
Haruka flew closer to him, even though Rin looked even worse than the last time they'd seen each other; he was deathly pale, his clothes too loose on him. It was as if an invisible illness was eating away at him, so painful to watch Haruka had to fight the urge to look down.
"You came," he noted.
Rin made a noise that cold have been a chuckle any other time. Now it sounded more like a dying animal.
"I thought you hated stating the obvious." Haruka shook his head, not agreeing or denying the claim. "Are you alone?"
"Yes."
Rin pulled at a red lock falling on his face. "And what did you tell me to come here for?"
Despite the cold, Haruka's broom felt warm when he gripped it tighter.
"Talking to you. Again, yes." Rin frowned. "You aren't happy."
"I– what?"
Haruka exhaled slowly. "Being a Death Eater. It involves doing things you don't like." It was a mere guess, yet Haruka went on anyway. "But you just keep doing it. Why?"
Rin huffed, already out of patience.
"Did you just want to say it again? Firstly, it's not any of your business. Secondly–"
"It is."
Rin narrowed his eyes.
"Secondly," he carried on, ignoring the interruption, "it's not like you're happy being Dumbledore's pet either."
Haruka tensed up. He didn't want to admit that Rin was, to a certain extent, right.
"But I know why I chose it," he retorted. "And I don't regret it."
For some seconds, Rin didn't move. He lowered his head, hair covering his expression, and Haruka felt the need to remove the space between them and push red strands back. Seeing Rin like that didn't hurt as much as not seeing him.
"And what if…" Rin sighed. "What if you regretted it? Could you resign and go on with your life?"
He was trembling, and Haruka wasn't sure it was due to the cold.
"What would happen if you resigned?"
Rin didn't answer immediately. A blast of wind blew his hair off his face, but when Haruka looked at him after shrinking to protect himself from the cold Rin was further, his expression unreadable in the darkness looming over them.
"You wanted to fly, didn't you?"
"Rin."
But Rin flew even further away, pulling out his wand and pointing it to the ground. Haruka looked around as rounded stones as big as his fist rose around them and started flying in apparently random patterns.
"There are twelve of them. The one who catches more wins."
Haruka gritted his teeth together, an old annoyance making its way within his chest. "Don't go off on a tangent. I asked you–"
"I'll answer if you win," Rin promised, putting his wand back in his pocket. "And you'll answer to whatever I ask if I win."
And Haruka could only believe him, not because Rin had done much to earn it, but because he was eighteen too and being serious because of the war all the time was exhausting; and so he accepted the challenge, flying over the cherry trees in search of the stones even though it was hard to see anything. He counted aloud whenever he caught one, and could hear Rin doing the same; and for a moment they were just two immature friends playing a stupid game.
It was silly, but it was also real; and the real Rin was brighter and faster than the one in Haruka's head, making his stomach turn upside down with a more intense excitement.
"Seven!" he screamed triumphantly at last, turning around to see Rin, who only looked mildly frustrated. Haruka let himself enjoy the childish satisfaction caused by beating his friend, smirking despite he knew he hadn't actually won anything.
What Haruka's victory implied took a few seconds to be noted; it dawned on them both at the same time, and Rin dropped the five stones he had collected, shoulders slumped as the child Haruka had caught a glimpse of disappeared again beneath the bitter young man he had become.
Haruka couldn't help but ask about something different, though:
"What would have you asked if you had won?"
Rin looked up.
"I've lost. So it doesn't matter."
Haruka wanted to insist, but the unmistakable sound of people Apparating startled them both. Rin shot him an inquisitive glance, soon focusing on the figures walking into a clearing between the cherry trees. Haruka recognised them right away.
"At last we find you," Seijuurou said. He, Natsuya and Kisumi pointed his wands at them. "Now land, you two; we need to talk, mostly to Matsuoka."
Rin grunted. "Weren't you alone? What's this about?"
"I was," Haruka admitted softly. He didn't know what to do; flying away didn't seem a good idea, despite it wouldn't be difficult.
"There are more people," Kisumi pointed out, as if he had read his mind. "Both on brooms and on the ground. It'd be wiser if you just–"
"No." Haruka flew higher. He looked around despite he was fairly sure he wouldn't see anyone; they were probably hidden under a Disillusionment charm. "Torture anyone else."
"Torture?" Rin repeated. "Aren't you supposed to be the good guys?"
Haruka wondered if they would be able to Disapparate. Or at least, if Rin could. It took a considerable effort to cast an Anti-Apparition charm; and the Order surely hadn't had much time to plan that ambush. He flew in circles until he found himself right beside Rin.
"Disapparate," he mumbled.
"What about you?"
Haruka shrugged.
"Now!"
It wasn't Haruka the one who said it, but Seijuurou; Haruka noticed the three rays of light coming from three different spots towards him and Rin, though.
He pushed Rin to the side with all his might, out of the point the three spells would hit. Rin grunted something that sounded like a string of swear words as he struggled to keep his balance on the broom.
"Are you mad? Don't you know that–"
Haruka never heard what he didn't know. He just felt something cold hitting his shoulder, then both of his sides, saw the ground coming to meet him as consciousness left him.
