Author's Note: Okay then, this will be chapter four. Usually I write these after I write the chapter but I decided that I will instead write this first. I've been kinda miserable today. I had a very Johnny moment. I realized that I don't really have any friends. I don't know what I meant by that, I think it's just that people seem so artificial and fake. Even me. I swear, I hate the fudging summer! Everyone claims that you're this or you're that but they don't really know you! I can't say that I'm fine without being contradicted. So, I know that you're not here to hear about my wee little problems so…ON TO THE NNY LIKE GOODNESS! Also, I was thinking, has anyone noticed how much Squee and Harry are alike? Also, also, I'm giving out Jimmy plushies, complete with mofuglyness and zits.
It was an oddly cold day for mid-August, but then again, Nny was always cold.
So, are ya gonna bring us with you? Or are you going to let us collect dust? Mr. Fuck was in an exceedingly bad mood. Johnny kept on getting all sad and annoying.
Leave him alone, the best place to wallow is in one's misery. Psycho-Doughboy was the exact opposite, he was so happy, he could sing a little song. Which he did.
Johnny's gonna kill himself,
Doodah, Doodah,
Johnny's gonna kill himself,
All the Doodah Day!
Born to die tonight!
He won't see Sunday!
Johnny's gonna kill himself,
ALL THE DOOOHHHDAAAAHHH DAAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
"I'm not going to kill myself. I have to be here to save Squee from being me!"
"No, you don't." Mr. Eff hated talking out loud, but he felt that it would make his words seem more real. He CARED about Johnny, Doughboy only cared about the Master. He truly wanted to live Johnny's life, but he also wanted Johnny to be okay. He was his friend. (Amazing, I can talk about friends when I have none myself insert cheesy smiley)
"Yes, yes I do. I don't want him to end up like me, cold, miserable and alone."
"But I'm here for you, Johnny. I like to see you happy. I truly do! I know you will never believe me though." At that moment, little Squeegee decided to knock on the door.
"Nny? It's me, Squee, I need ta ask ya something." His voice reminding Johnny of how he had corrupted this little child.
"C'mon in, the door's unlocked." Johnny heard the door being gently pushed open, then he heard Squee's trademark noise.
"SQUEE!!!!!!!"
He had forgotten that the remains of that terrible human being were still all over the place.
"Oh shit!" He ran out to the door and pushed Squee out, while slamming the door behind him.
"U-um, I was just gonna ask if I could bring Pepito with me. He…he REALLY, REALLY wants ta go."
"Um, yeah, sure. As long as his parents are okay with that."
"Y-yeah, h-he already asked them." Johnny didn't really like Pepito, but at least this way Squee would have SOMEONE his age.
"Well, I think that we're leaving tomorrow so tell him to pack anything he'll need for nine months. We won't be coming back for anything." He knew that he was lying, but he felt like he was going too soft. He needed to kill a fucking Cheerleader. They always screamed a lot. And the ones with big boobs had lots of blood to paint the wall with.
The next day, Johnny woke up from the first sleep he'd had since last month, to see Dumbledore standing over him.
"Well, hello, my dear boy, how are you?"
"Ummm…is this real? Who're you?"
"Johnny, I'm the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm assuming you are packed?"
"Oh, oh yeah, I'm packed. I just have to get Squeegee and Pepito."
"Ah, yes, I forgot that little Todd had decided to bring Pepito. I do believe they will have quite a lot of fun." The Headmaster's eyes began twinkling. "To think, they're so young, but will be so great. Just like you."
"Squee will never be like me. No one ever will. I don't want anyone to be like me."
"To think, you don't see the greatness in you. Don't shun it, love it. You, like so many people before you, have a great mind. You can still be great. Ignore those who say you are nothing. They are nothing."
"Thank you. But, really, I kill people. Is that REALLY great?"
"Actually, yes, yes it is. You kill those who cause the great ones to fall, with the exception of one person. Do you remember Edgar?"
"Yeah, I shouldn't have killed him."
"But it's too late to change that. What's done is done."
"So…yeah, I'm just gonna go and get them…" Johnny left his house and crawled through the tunnel between his and Squee's house. He climbed up the stairs slowly and carefully, cracked open the door, and found Squee and Pepito asleep on his bed. Curled up in that cute way that only children five and under can pull off. He slowly walked over them, leaned over and screamed "WAKE UP!" at the top of his lungs, straight into Pepito's ear. He may have to drag him along, but that didn't mean he couldn't have some fun with it.
Author's note: Um, did you like?
I promise, the next chapter will be interesting.
Reviewers get a red velvet cake in the shape of Jimmy's head to go along with the Jimmy plush.
