Catalyst
Chapter 4
Judgement
The train ride to Dublith was the first time since the funeral that they had to sit and do nothing. Elicia slept in her carrier, rocked to sleep by the train, and they sat looking out the window trying to think of anything that wasn't about their dead friends. Finally Roy spoke, after he realized he forgot to get a camera and take pictures because that was what Hughes would have done. That thought alone made his throat tighten. "Mrs. Bradley is very excited to start babysitting."
"I can't believe you pulled that off." Riza said and recalled the many times Maes had tried to tell her how Mustang could pull strings and make things happen. How he always came through for him. That there was more to his reputation than there appeared to be. She hoped that his connections would make life a little easier for Elicia.
"I really can't take much credit for that." Roy said and leaned back in the seat to take a good look at her. Maes had tried time and time again to set them up. He could never be truly honest with his best friend about his reasons for shying away from any kind of committed relationship, and it was just easier to say she wasn't his type. However she made a simple brown skirt suit look amazing and the reality was that he was looking at living with this woman for the next eighteen years, that was pretty committed. A relationship was still out of the question, he was a disaster waiting to happen and casualty would be Elicia. "She volunteered and was actually begging for the job. I am glad you agreed to let her do it, I would hate to see what happens when I make Mrs. Bradley cry."
Riza smiled. It was kind of him to include her in the decision but it was evident the decision was already made. "I'm sure it will help the Fuhrer keep tabs on us as well."
Roy appreciated her ability to see a situation for what it was, and it was obvious this situation benefitted everyone involved but it was a double edged sword; A sword of judgement hanging over their heads. He didn't have to try to hard to imagine Bradley coming home from work and his wife filling him in on what time Elicia was dropped off and picked up, the number of diapers and how much dog hair was on the blankets, how well they had answered the parenting questions and followed through on her advice...
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to come across as negatively as it did." Riza said, kicking herself for immediately commenting on the motives behind this offer. She was sure Roy knew what the fine print was, even if this was only a hand shake deal. He was a Colonel afterall, navigating politics was part of his life at that rank. He did a good thing, he deserved positive reinforcement.
Roy gave her a forgiving smile, "I didn't see it that way. I appreciate your candor."
Silence fell over them once again and Riza kept crossing and uncrossing her legs trying to get comfortable. She was nervous about this meeting with child services. She wished she could get to know Roy better before they were put on the spot and scrutinized about their ability to accept this new role. One thing they had both learned rather quickly is that everyone wanted to give them advice and insist they knew the only way to raise a child. It was already old.
Roy tried to read the paper but the Barry the Chopper case was all anyone was talking about. He could pick Maes's name out of the article without even reading it and thought better of reading up on how things were progressing with the Hughes's killer. He threw the paper on the seat and just resigned to silence.
"You need to actually hold her, she's not a bomb." Izumi Curtis took the little girl into her arms and felt a warmth rush over her. She smiled at the baby and Elicia squeaked at her in response.
"You should see the devastation that comes out the bottom side of her before you make that call." Roy replied and watched the giant Sig Curtis loom over his wife and suddenly melt into a a huge teddy bear of ooh and ahhs. Elicia squealed in delight. This was what the kid deserved and had up until a week ago. He had foolishly convinced himself they were doing a good job, but in two minutes Izumi saw the truth. They were scared and they handled her like they were going to break her.
"So is she not having regular bowel movements?" Izumi asked, concerned that the stress of this situation was causing health problems for the girl. She saw them both hesitate, not knowing what 'regular' should be.
"I figured there would be some issues as we changed her from breast milk to formula." Riza tried to sound like she was knowledgeable, but all her information came from raising a puppy. "I mixed them so we could avoid digestive upset as we transitioned to a new food."
Izumi nodded. The new parents were in need of positive reinforcement more than anything. They were tense, awkward and scared. "Good. That's a great call."
Riza smiled and Izumi handed her the baby. She took her and allowed the woman to readjust her arms so Elicia was closer to her chest. She felt so out of place, she felt like everyone could see how unnatural this was for her. She felt like everyone was judging her because she was a woman and should know what to do.
"Snuggle her, hold her like she's the most precious thing in this world and you will never let go. Babies need that, they need to feel your love." Izumi said and turned to the new father. "You too. You hold her like she's going to shatter. Stop being so nervous. She can feel your anxiety. That makes her uncomfortable."
"Ah, like a dog." Roy said and immediately regretted not filtering it. It was truth though, he picked up Hayate and carried him around more than Elicia.
"Exactly. Like a living breathing mammal who is part of your family. A baby that you need to care for and nourish. Stop acting like you'll break her." Izumi sat down and Sig went over to make some faces at the baby and make her chirp.
"Play with her and read to her. Sing to her." Sig said. "Be a kid again. She's your daughter, not a mission you need to complete. Leave work at the door and be a Mom and Dad for her, not a Colonel and Lieutenant."
Riza looked over at Roy and realized this was probably all good advice they needed to hear. They were both guilty of just trying to do what had to be done to care for her without really breaking down and being personal. They had just introduced themselves by military rank. Thank God this wasn't the actual interview, certainly the child service people would have deemed them unfit by now.
"So you two don't really know each other that well?" Izumi asked.
Roy snapped back to attention as two boys came running through the yard and tackled each other. Sig and Izumi didn't even flinch. They didn't look over at the two rolled around and fought. "No."
"She's going to pick up on tension between you. So try to work your problems out away from her." Izumi said and listened as Ed and Al wrestled and then took off sprinting towards the tree house.
"We're not fighting over anything." Riza said.
"You will." Sig assured her. "Things amplify as a baby comes into the picture."
Roy looked over as the shorter boy reached the tree house and they locked eyes for a minute, then the kid gave him the middle finger and disappeared into the wooden enclosure. He looked to the parents and they just kept their eyes on them, the adults. Was this another evaluation? How they would react to seeing kids be...well kids? "What can we expect from child services?"
"Unexpected visits. Questions you don't want to answer or have answers to." Sig said. "Don't sweat it, they aren't trying to steal your kid. They want to make sure you are taking care of her. That's all."
"I think we're both painfully aware of how unprepared we are for this." Riza said and looked at Elicia who was used to having parents who gush over her like the Curtis's were doing.. She didn't know if she could ever be like that, she still was just taking care of a friend's baby.
"It's incredible you are trying." Izumi said and then stood up and hollered. "Boys! Clean up for lunch!"
Roy raised an eyebrow. Oh, if barking orders was all he needed to do to keep a kid in line he was going to be father of the year! Unfortunately he knew that was not the case and he was going to be looking at a lot of problems in the near future as he tried to co-exist with a stranger. He lived alone for a reason and he wasn't keen on explaining himself to anyone either.
Izumi looked back at them as they tried to not look crushed by the weight of the world. "You'll be fine, you've already passed the first test."
"What's that?" Riza asked.
"I'll pass on my recommendation and evaluation to child services." Izumi said. "I don't like home visits, I like seeing you out of your element. Losing a weekend day, traveling hours to meet with a stranger, traveling with a baby on a train...you've done just fine. You're committed to trying to make this work. I'll give you my number if you have any questions but try to come up with solutions together. You have to communicate and trust each other, parenting is a partnership not a competition. You're welcome to stay for lunch, but it's not necessary. I'm sure you have plenty to do at home."
"I think we'd both like to head home and keep trying to settle in." Roy offered and Riza nodded as well. They both wanted to get the hell out of here and breathe a sigh of relief that they were able to leave with Elicia. These two were doing the evaluation for child services? How the hell didn't he see that coming? Like teh government was going to give him a free tutor before the test, he was a fucking idiot.
"Good luck you two." Izumi said. "Don't be too hard on yourselves. The real truth about parenting is nobody knows what they're doing."
"I think if you met the Hughes's, you'd find that hard to believe." Riza said and Izumi smiled at her.
"They had their moments, trust me." She said and gave them both a warm smile. "You're scared, intimidated...you're learning. That's better than those people who think they know it all any day, you'll do fine."
They watched her get up and leave, tenderly ruffle up the hair of the boys who came running over to her to clean up for dinner. Then Roy said softly, "I think if she met the Hughes's she would find that hard to believe."
Riza was tired from the stress of the day and was happy they got home early enough that she could walk Hayate in daylight and take a break from home. When she got back she let him off the leash and he waited on her to see what she wanted, knowing that if he ran off to check Mustang's pockets he'd get scolded by her. At least one of them was trainable. She looked upstairs as she heard what sounded like soft singing and crept up to the bedroom where she found out that Maes wasn't lying about all those karaoke championships. Roy Mustang did indeed sing really damned well.
"Wowow, My...Train in rain" Roy rocked away in the rocking chair and held the little girl close to his chest as instructed by Mrs. Curtis. Elicia seemed to be happier with this and he realized he had been of little comfort to her since her parents died. If she picked up on everything like a dog would, he was sure she was scared and miserable. That was the last thing Hughes would want. "Smiling vision, Time goes by...will you forgive me? "
Riza watched Hayate go over to his new favorite person and get his long overdue scratches. Roy tilted his head and looked at her, he looked tired and she realized he was unguarded and relaxed now. He was breathtaking and it bothered her that she even thought that. Developing feeling for each other was unacceptable and it would never work out anyway. This was just a spark of lust for someone who was hard to not notice. Especially in a half unbuttoned shirt. She went over and sat down on the bed and smiled at him as Elicia wiggled in his arms. "You learned your lesson well."
"I didn't realize that she could pick up on things like a dog. I think hearing that made me realize I was treating the dog better."
Riza nodded. "Me too."
"It's kind of amazing to think that someone this young can feel that. I guess it's really fascinating to see how instincts and self preservation work." Roy let her clutch his finger, the only thing he had ever done before he was saddled with raising Maes's baby, was let her touch his finger. He refused to hold her even though Maes would have been pushed to tears if he saw his best friend marvel over the miracle of life like he was doing now. "You can't stand up or stop crapping on yourself but you can understand that, huh?"
"I was thinking, that maybe we should start doing things as a family." Riza said. "You and I need to get to know each other and she needs to be with us as much as possible. I don't want to intrude on your free time but...for right now I think we could try to be less awkward around each other. She needs to get back to normal."
"That sounds great." He said and tried to tug his finger back but Elicia's grip tightened. "What do you have in mind?"
"My grandfather wants to have us over for poker night." Riza suggested. It was the only idea she had. "He wants to see the baby again and he wanted to meet you."
"Sounds fun." Roy lied. Poker with old people, especially old Generals, was like going back to the academy and listening to guest lectures on tactics, history and the good old days. Grumman was, however, a great babysitter and very liberal with his expensive booze.
"Liar." She said and he gave her the most adorable smile. "You should get cleaned up, starts at 1900 hours."
