Brian bit the inside of his cheek and clenched a fist. He'd spent the last hour speaking with various admirals. He was currently on the comm channel with admiral number six: Admiral Baker, his old military strategy teacher from the academy. Brian had hoped that Admiral Baker would be more understanding, since they knew each other. Brian had been the admiral's best student. They'd even gone out for drinks a few times. Baker never tired of discussing strategy from the 50-Year War, the first conflict in which Earth engaged after developing the technology to travel faster than the speed of light. Back then, Admiral Baker had been a jovial man. But in the eight years since Brian had last spoken to him, something had changed.
"Admiral, with all due respect, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation."
"I don't understand? You don't understand. We're losing hundreds of men and women to the Kalar every day. They just keep pushing closer to Earth. They could break through our lines any time now. You're lucky the Babylon hasn't been called to the eastern border."
"I understand that, but there are 50,000 settlers at Providence. They're all in danger, those who still live."
"You don't yet know the extent of the casualties, or the threat posed. For all you know, there's just one enemy ship. The Liberty might have been caught by surprise. At least you'll have the benefit of 18 hours preparation."
Brian pressed his lips together tightly. Yelling at an admiral was inadvisable. It wouldn't get him what he wanted, and it could get him court-martialed. When he'd recovered his self-control, he asked, "How are we supposed to prepare when we don't know what we'll face?"
"That's exactly the point, isn't it?"
Brian pinched the bridge of his nose and stifled a sigh. "True. I don't know what's out there, but what I do know is that most of the Liberty's crew is dead…800 people served on that ship…"
"Providence is three days from Earth. How many hundreds or thousands would die if we pulled even one ship from the eastern border?"
"As you mentioned, we don't yet know the extent of the threat. But it could be substantial. Wouldn't it be better to nip it in the bud? I'm not asking for an entire fleet. Just another ship. Maybe two."
"Like I said, pulling even one ship from the border could have disastrous consequences for Earth. I feel for the Liberty's crew and the settlers, but I have to look at the bigger picture. I'm afraid I can't authorize the deployment of any other ships to Providence. But I have complete confidence in your ability to handle this situation, Kinney. The Earth military is the greatest in the universe, the Babylon is a brand-new ship, manned by a crew you handpicked, and you're one of our best and brightest. I look forward to reading the report on your success."
"Admiral…"
Admiral Baker sighed heavily. "Look Brian, I…I wish I could help. But I can't. We have billions of people to protect on Earth, and this war's not going well. You were my best student at the academy. If anyone can deal with whatever attacked Providence, you can. Be creative. It's what you do best."
Brian cursed under his breath. He wasn't one to beg, but his wife and son were on this ship…as was his best friend…his best friend's mother…and his…well Justin.
He rolled his lips into his mouth and clenched both fists. Then, in close to a whisper, he rasped, "Please, sir. My wife and son are on the Babylon."
After a long pause, the admiral replied, his voice breaking, "You think I don't know the price we're all asked to pay? A few years after you left the academy, I was sent on a 3-year mission to the Domani sector. My wife, bless her, couldn't stand the idea of us separating. So I took her with me, not knowing that she was pregnant, not knowing that we were headed deep into Kalar territory. I would never have let her come if I'd known."
The admiral swallowed audibly and then continued, his voice husky, "The night my daughter was born, we were beset by three Kalar ships. We managed to escape, but the ship took heavy damage. Security officers were able to rescue my wife from the burning wreckage that was the medical bay, but not my daughter. My wife's back on Earth now. She hates my guts, but she's alive. And if I have anything to say about it, she'll stay that way. I can't help you, Brian. I'm sorry."
Then the line went dead.
Brian ran his fingers through his hair. He should just break with the Earth military now, before taking it into a potentially losing battle, before getting people killed and damaging the ship that would later be all that the remaining crew had. But…then the panel to the right of his desk popped open to reveal a beautiful blond boy, smiling brightly, his eyes shining with what Brian guessed was pride. Justin confirmed this a moment later, when he sat on Brian's lap and breathed (in his ear), "You're fucking amazing, Captain Kinney. No one cares about those settlers but you and your crew. And I know that however much the odds are stacked against you, you'll come out on top!"
Fuck. There was no way he could bolt now. That look of admiration on Justin's face, that awe, made Brian feel weird, but in a good way. It made him want to be worthy of it. It was different from the admiration and awe he saw in Mikey's eyes. Brian could kill a dozen civilians, and Mikey would find a way to rationalize it as being an heroic act. But Brian knew, without really understanding how, that Justin was not so impressionable. As in love with Brian as Justin claimed to be, he had a mind of his own. If Mikey were in Justin's shoes, he would simply have stayed in Brian's quarters as he'd been instructed. And he'd have been more than happy to do so. He'd never risk Brian's displeasure by sneaking around, disobeying him, not even if he was motivated by a desire to help. Justin was different. He did what he believed was right, even if that meant making Brian angry, and that meant that Brian wasn't infallible as far as he was concerned. Justin could be disappointed in Brian, and, for some strange reason, Brian was loath to do anything that might sully Justin's opinion of him. He wanted to make Justin proud. Yep, he was fucked. A one-night stand was quickly (too quickly) becoming something else altogether.
