A/N: Thank you all so much for the follows, favorites and reviews! YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL! Viva la Swan Queen!

Chapter 4

Regina takes a deep breath and crosses her arms over her chest as she sits in the Adirondack chair on the back porch. She looks around the yard at the blooming flowers and the beautifully green grass. Along the fence, the apple tree seedlings Henry and Emma bought for her are finally resembling trees instead of sticks. That birthday two years ago was so nice, so filled with laughter and love. And Emma… She had been so wonderful, so thoughtful with her gift. She had been so Emma.

She feels a pang of sadness in her heart when she thinks about their last conversation. And that's just it: it had been their last conversation. They haven't spoken a word to each other since.

Not a phone call.

Not a text.

Not even an email.

And it's starting to wear on Regina in ways she didn't even realize could weigh on her. Because as each day passes, her lingering fears about the fact that she trusted Tinkerbell and some fairy dust to pick out her soul mate continue to haunt her every single thought. And dammit, she can't seem to get the sound of Emma's voice out of her head.

Nothing has ever been bigger than us.

And those sad green eyes.

And those thin pink lips.

Regina hears the door to the porch open and slide closed. She closes her eyes when the sound of work boots hit against the wood. His movements are slow, deliberate, as he sits down, letting out a very heavy sigh. "Yes?" she says softly and peels her eyes open before stretching her arms out on the armrests of the wooden chair. He's sitting on the porch steps, his hair messy and his clothes dirty.

"Beautiful day," he says, his voice rough.

"It is, indeed." She watches as he rakes his fingers through his hair. She's not surprised that he's joined her, because she's been preparing for this conversation - whatever it entails - for quite some time.

Robin's been reading her journal. And even though she is devastated at first, it quickly hits her that sadly, she's used to not having a private thought.

Privacy is simply a luxury she cannot seem to acquire.

It was the same with Leopold and now with Robin… The first time she found proof of his inability to allow her some privacy (a smudge on a page, the edge creased, the pen not in the same space, the bookmark moved), well, let's just say one would think that a thief would be more careful about leaving behind evidence.

After yesterday's entry, though, she knows he's probably reeling with all of this seemingly new information. Who knew that writing it down would be the easiest way to tell him?

Regina blinks when he turns his head towards her. She raises her eyebrows, indicating that he needs to either speak now or forever hold his peace.

"When were you planning on letting me know you have feelings for Emma Swan?"

Even though she is completely prepared for this, Regina still feels the air in her lungs disappear. She has learned over time that it's never easy to admit out loud your infidelities. She stays motionless except for her fingers curling around the arm of the Adirondack chair. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

He sighs, rubs the side of his hand over his moustache and then looks back out at the yard. A couple of puffs of air and then he's saying, "You aren't stupid, Regina. It's bloody well time you stopped acting like it."

At this blatant attack, Regina's fingers tighten even more around the wood. "Well, then, I guess it's time for me to say the same to you."

"Aye," Robin says with a chuckle.

"You realize that I know you've been reading my journal for years?" Regina loosens her grip and then with a voice she hasn't used since she was the Evil Queen says, "And you, Robin Hood, you need to remember your place here."

"Don't, Regina. Don't use that tone on me and act like I give a good goddamn." Robin pauses and looks over at her. He's not afraid of her and probably never has been. "Is there a reason?"

"For what, Robin?" Regina asks, a sigh and irritation penetrating her words.

"For her? For your feelings? And why are you with me when I remind you so much of him? Of the King?"

Yes, the questioning about Emma is hard, but it's those words that break her heart. The King. Leopold. Because yes, there are things that remind her of what she had with that horrible excuse for a marriage, but more than anything, Robin reminds her of what she doesn't have.

With Emma.

And he knows that.

"Robin," Regina breathes as she stands up. In two shorts steps she's next to Robin, sitting down on the step and looking at him. His scruff, his eyes, his haircut. There is a huge part of her that really does love him. And hearing the defeat in his voice is more than she bargained for when she scribbled Emma Swan has saturated my brain, my life, my heart and my soul and I cannot let her go into her journal like a madwoman. "It's not that. You have to believe me." She reaches forward, takes his rough hand in hers and is instantly reminded of holding a much smoother, much smaller hand.

"Than what is it?"

It's a million little things, she wants to say.

It's that you're a hunter and you're dirty and you have big work boots and a tattoo - that I have never liked - and I love Roland, but he's not Henry and he never will be…

It's the memory of that damn fairy dust.

It's trying to believe that magic can be created when clearly there is none to begin with.

It's knowing that every time I touch Emma there is a feeling inside of my veins that has never been replicated.

"It's...not you, it's me," Regina finally says, deciding that utter honesty is not the best way to let someone down gently. "I'm just in a rut."

Robin pulls his eyes up to meet hers. "A rut? Emma Swan is not a rut. Just admit it, Regina. Admit that this, you, me, Roland, is not working because of her."

At first, she wants to lie and argue and tell him he's wrong. She's a queen, after all, and even though the evil has faded, the crown will always remain. But the more she looks at him, the more she remembers, and the more she remembers… well… It only takes a few deep breaths before she gains the courage to let him win this round. "Okay," she concedes. He looks shocked at first, but is he really? Probably not. He knows and he hopefully prepared himself for the possibility that Regina would actually tell the truth. She almost always tells the truth when it comes to Emma Swan. "It's not working because of her," she whispers. "It's just that we share Henry and I'm sorry. I really am." She watches him take her words and mull them over.

There are a few short beats of complete and utter silence before he opens his mouth to speak. "Do you want this… with me… with Roland?" he asks, squeezing her hand gently.

Her heart aches at that, because no. She doesn't want this. She never really has! She was forced into this because of reasons she'll never understand and it makes her all of the sudden very angry, but at the same time very sad, and that is not how she wants to live any longer. Sad and angry are two emotions she never wants to associate with her life again. "I don't know," she says so softly that she can barely hear herself. His grip on her hand loosens a bit before he sniffs through his nose, indicating that he's holding back tears. "I'm sorry, Robin."

"What do we do?"

Regina takes a very deep breath and lets it out so slowly that it feels like an entire day has passed by the time she opens her mouth to speak. "I think it's time for us to go our separate ways."

"And Roland?" Robin asks. He looks at Regina, looks into her eyes. "You think he'll be okay with this?"

"No," Regina whispers. "But I don't think bringing him up in a household not full of love would be the right thing to do to him."

Robin goes to stand up, props his hands on his knees and then takes a deep breath before rising. He clears his throat and then looks back at the apple saplings. "She's married, you know. And I doubt that ol' Captain Hook will be as willing to walk away as I am." He stands up and turns, making his way back up onto the porch. He takes a couple steps and then stops. "You know I'm only doing this because I want you to be happy, right?"

Regina can't look at him. She nods her head, places her hand over her mouth and then listens as his boots carry him back to the door and inside.


"You and Regina are in charge of the cake and pies."

"Um, no. We aren't. Killian and I will bring the cake and pies. We don't need Regina to help."

Snow picks her head up from the birthday party to-do list and furrows her brow. Her pencil has stopped in its place on the paper, her head tilts and she lets out a huff. "What do you mean? You and Regina have been on cake duty since we all started celebrating these birthdays together. It works out best that way. And Regina actually knows how to bake, which is far more than I can say about you." Emma shoots Snow a glare from across the room. "No offense, Emma."

"Yeah, none taken," Emma says with an eyeroll. "Just take Regina off the list. Take her off the guest list, too while you're at it."

"You are absolutely out of your mind if you think I'm not going to invite her to Jack's party. Do you happen to recall what went down the last time we didn't invite Regina to a celebration?"

"Yeah, yeah, she cursed your first born and an entire kingdom, whatever. We survived. Just cross her off the list. Jack doesn't need her there."

"She's his Godmother, Emma!"

"And it's bullshit. Just cross her name off. And no need to invite Robin or Roland, either."

Snow lets out a very heavy sigh as she pushes the chair back from the dining table and stands up. She takes a few steps across her apartment and leans against the center island in the kitchen. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

"No, I don't care to." Emma continues to sip on her cup of coffee while she leans against the countertop. "She doesn't get to come celebrate this time. Okay?"

"No, it's not okay, Emma. We have come a very long way from the Regina that we all used to fear. I will not ruin that because you're fighting with her."

"What? Why do you think I'm fighting with her?" Emma asks, her voice so shrill it makes her own hair on the back of her neck stand straight up. "I just don't want her there."

"Well, tough." Snow crosses her arms and tips her chin into the air. "Regina will be coming to the party and you will be working with her for the cake and pies. I'm already a nervous wreck about this gathering and I will not take your inability to work with her as a reason to uninvite Jack's very favorite person on the planet - aside from you, of course."

Emma watches her mother's eyes and notices her body language. She's serious about this. "I don't want to," Emma says softly. "Please don't make me."

"Emma, honey, what happened?" Snow asks, her shoulders soften and she assumes immediately the position of supportive mother.

"Nothing."

"I don't believe you, Emma."

Emma takes a deep breath. She wants to tell her. She really does. But she knows that it'll throw Snow right off the deep end. "We just had some miscommunication. That's all."

"Please, figure it out and help her with the cakes and pies. Please."

"Okay. Fine. I will do this… this ONE time." Emma looks down at her black boots and says softly, "For you."

"Thank you, honey," Snow says as she lays a hand on Emma's arm and squeezes. "Now, I need a half chocolate, half vanilla cake. And three apple pies." Emma lets out a puff of air and a laugh at those words. "What is so funny?" Snow asks her daughter.

"Apple pies? From Regina? Are you kidding me?"

Snow smiles. "She really does make a mean apple pie."

Emma shakes her head back and forth, a smile on her lips. "Yeah, she really does."


Emma stands in front of 108 Mifflin, the start of a headache already annoying her and the knot in her stomach frustrating her. She hasn't really spoken to Regina still and it's not something either one of them are handling. The short texts back and forth to confirm baking a cake and pies together was the most either one has said to the other in days.

So, when Emma hears the clack of heels on the other side of the door and the click of the door opening, there's a part of her that wants to run. Turn around, bolt down the sidewalk, and hope to God that when she teleports herself, she doesn't end up right back where her heart always takes her.

"Miss Swan," Regina says softly, the door still held onto for support. "Did you bring your baking skills today, dear?"

Emma smiles, already feeling a tiny bit better since Regina actually doesn't seem mad. "I did. Well, I at least brought my helping skills, because we both know I still can't bake worth a damn." She walks inside, her hand reaching out and wrapping around Regina's slender wrist. Her eyes lock onto those insanely dark ones in front of her and it literally makes her heart hurt. "Are we okay?"

Regina feels the pit of her stomach fill with butterflies and sees the sadness in Emma's eyes. It has always been hard to walk away from the other woman, but now, it's literally impossible. "We will be, yes," Regina whispers. "I can always make you a turnover if your plans are to continue with ignoring me, though."

"Oh, how thoughtful of you," Emma laughs. She lets go of Regina's wrist, the feeling of her soft skin still lingering. She takes a few steps towards the kitchen and then stops abruptly. "Where's Roland?" The young boy is typically sprinting into her arms by now. She feels Regina's hand land gently on the small of her back, so she turns her head to look at the brunette.

"Robin and Roland have moved out," Regina says. She smiles. It's a small smile and it' not meant to be irreverent, but what else is there to do? She makes her way around Emma and into the kitchen. She's already set out the baking equipment and materials. "I thought we could start with the pies." She puts an apron on over her head and ties the sash firmly in the back.

Emma comes bursting into the kitchen. Her mind is racing a million miles a minute. She just finished telling Hook that he has nothing to worry about. She just finished telling him that Regina is not someone to worry about. She just finished doing things with him she hadn't done in months… because of what Regina had said. "What are you talking about?"

"Pies. They're round. You fill them with fruit. Well, in this case, apples. I thought you understood what we were doing here, Emma."

"Regina, cut the shit," Emma hisses as she points a finger at the once evil queen. "What are you talking about?"

Regina takes a deep breath and slides the canister of flour across the countertop. She unscrews the lid, scoops out a quarter cup of flour and then spins around to the refrigerator to grab the pie crust dough. When the metal bowl hums after hitting the granite, Regina raises her eyes to look at Emma. She's still standing there, her finger a little limper now, but her face still has the same resolve she always holds when it comes to getting her way. "I asked Robin to move out. He did. The end."

"The end?"

"Yes, Emma, the end. I don't know what else you want me to say." Regina starts rolling out the dough onto the counter, her mind is racing now, though, and it makes her hands shaky and her heart beat thready. "I just couldn't handle it anymore," she says with a whisper. Her eyes are filling with tears and this is not what she needs right now. She does not need to cry right now in front of Emma Swan.

"Regina," Emma chokes out. She could never really handle seeing anyone cry, but when Regina cries? Shit. She might as well just check herself into a mental hospital because the sight drives her insane. She cannot handle it. At all. She takes a few steps closer to the brunette and lays an unsteady hand on Regina's arm. She can feel it flexing as the woman continues to roll the dough out. "Regina?" Emma asks this time. The rolling pin stops and Regina's shoulders relax. Emma wraps her fingers around Regina's forearm and then pulls the woman into her arms.

Regina lets it all happen. She lets Emma's strong arms wrap around her. She lets Emma's lips land in the crook of her neck. She lets those hands move up her sides and then back down again and across her back. She lets it all happen and for the first time in days she starts to feel whole again. "I don't know why I said what I said. I don't know," Regina whispers, blond hair pressed to her face, the smell of lavender and spice overtaking her. "I know you're married. I know. But I don't care, Emma. I don't care."

"Regina," Emma breathes. "I slept with him last night… I hadn't in months and months… But you said… and I didn't… I don't know." She hears the brunette's sharp intake of air and then a gasp, a sob, and then even more tears. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I thought you didn't want this."

"I know, I know," Regina says through her tears and between trying to catch her breath.

Emma pulls away from Regina and ducks down slightly to look into the brunette's eyes. "Look at me," she says, her hands on Regina's arms. "I will fix this. I promise."

"How, Emma? How? You are married! I didn't ask Robin to leave because I thought you'd leave Hook for me!"

Emma's eyes are filled with tears now as she moves her hands to cup Regina's face. "You did it because you are done being sad," she whispers before she gently wipes stray tears from those beautiful cheeks with the soft pads of her thumbs. "I get it. I understand, don't you see? I don't want to be sad anymore, either, Regina."

"Then leave!" Regina's voice rattles the glass on the cabinets. "Stop pretending and leave him, Emma."

Emma stands there in front of Regina. Breathless. She honestly knew that was what she needed to do, but actually following through? It's never that easy. "And do what? Move in here? With you? And Henry?"

Regina uses the heels of her palms, the only part of her hands not covered in flour, and wipes at the tears on her face. "Is that so wrong? Us? Together? As a family? Finally?"

The corner of Emma's mouth turns upward and she shrugs her shoulders. "No, it's not wrong at all," she answers with a soft tone that practically melts Regina in place.

"Then?" Regina asks while looking directly into Emma's green eyes. "Let's-"

"-say fuck it and be a family?" Emma interrupts.

Regina smiles, laughs a bit, sniffles and then says, "Yeah. Exactly what I was going to say."

Emma moves forward and puts her arms around Regina's waist, pulls her closer and before she places her lips on those full, red ones, says so softly, "You know that's the best idea you've ever had."

"Honestly, I think you're wrong about that." Regina reaches forward and gathers a handful of flour from the counter and shouts, "This is!" She throws a puff of white at Emma and starts laughing when the blonde opens her eyes, revealing creases by the sides and spitting out some that landed in her mouth. "You're looking a little pale, Miss Swan," Regina says through her laughter. "Are you feeling okay?"

Emma wipes the back of her hand over her lips and then lets out a tiny chuckle before her eyes lock onto Regina's. She lunges forward so quick that Regina barely has time to react, let alone escape. Emma presses her lips into the brunette's and immediately feels her give in to the kiss. She can feel hands on the lapel of her jacket, pushing it down her arms, when she pulls away a tiny amount. "I think that was my best idea ever."

"I agree, Emma. Gods," Regina breathes out as she leans in, stops a centimeter from the blonde's lips and says, "Now kiss me again."

And Emma listens to that request.

Over and over and over again.