A Day in the Life of… Tohru Honda

So I've finally updated. I'll update more and more until I decided I'm done. : )

Disclaimer: I'm forced to inform you that I am not the true author of Fruits Basket… *sigh*

Thanks to all those who reviewed my last chapter!

jaik34, .kimi, disneytiger, It's raining yoghurt

Read, Review, Enjoy. Peace. :)


Tohru collapsed on the giant fluffy bed in her bedroom at the end of the long day with a sigh. "Oh Mom" she began, rolling over to look at the new, fancy, electronic picture frame Shigure bought her that was a constant slide show of countless pictures of Kyoko… so countless in fact that it hardly ever showed the shame photograph twice! (It was really such a sweet gesture. Tohru could hardly believe Shigure would be so kind as to buy this obviously expensive device and then go through all the trouble to borrow all those pictures of her mother from her relatives, even the extended family she hardly knew, just for her!) (Tohru, however, was unaware Shigure bought this slightly damaged frame from CVS's clearance section… with coupons… then stole the pictures from her relatives, and set the device so that it had a subliminal message that flashed "Make Shigure a sandwich" everyday at noon… but the story progresses nonetheless) "I had such a hard day; I wish you were here to help me…" She sat up as it flashed to another picture and sighed "When I woke up this morning-"

It seemed like a day like any other. I was the first one up, because it is my duty to take care of the household! Through the power of optimism and a touch of magic (plus my daily, early morning double shot of espresso in black coffee…) I was as cheery and chipper and energetic as ever!

Once I stashed my coffee maker and Folgers can safely under my bed for… convenience… I skipped down the stairs and immediately tripped, tumbling to the ground floor. It was my own fault; really, the stairs are a very useful invention and cannot be held accountable for my clumsiness… Although it was terribly painful… eh heh heh… ah… that is…

Ah! Then my knight in shining armor hoisted me up to my feet and I was at a loss for words as he walked gallantly away… into the sunset… er… rising sun…

"Hey stupid, stop standing like a moron in front of the stairs." Is what Kyo said very casually and slowly and not surprising in the least because, as you see mom, this is his normal morning greeting as I watched my mysterious (most likely imaginary knight disappear… I did hit my head) and yet I still had something that liked to a heart attack from shock and apologized for roughly ten minutes then internally monologued how, as the Cat, Kyo uses painful words as a shield and it is my duty (as well as household chores) to break through them and show him that he as good as any other member of the Juunis-

"HEY!"

"UWAHH! Yes!?"

"Were you just having an inner monologue? Stop staring. I'm hungry."

"Yes."

Oh… He's so wounded. Kyo is like a prince.

As I made breakfast Shigure and Yuki arrived "Did anyone else smell coffee this morning?" Shigure asks and I laughed nervously as I loaded up food onto Yuki's plate as he fell forwards onto the table, asleep.

"No one drinks coffee here Shigure, obviously…" Kyo said as he ate. I laughed nervously and continued to stack food onto Yuki's already full plate. "I don't like the taste… Yuki doesn't or he wouldn't be dead in the morning, and I don't even want to know what would happen if you gave her caffeine. She doesn't need it." I laughed nervously again and dumped everything onto Yuki's dish.

He opened his eyes slowly"Ah… I don't think I can eat all of…" He began to mumble "Finish your food Yuki; don't let Tohru's cooking go to waste…" Shigure scolded. Yuki looked at the food and began to begrudingly eat the mountain I unconsciously stacked on his plate. Yuki is so noble… He too is like a prince.

"Well I keep smelling coffee. I wonder where it's coming from." Shigure said and I fear it won't be long before he discovers my secrete. As I have discovered theirs. This world is full of marvelous discoveries. It is my duty (along with breaking Kyo's shell and household chores) to discover more… discoveries… especially how to end the curse!

"Honda-san! School!" Yuki calls. I excuse myself and drink a Five Hour Energy Shot. "Ready." I take their hands, mostly for effect.

At lunch, I am confronted by a group of girls who talk about Yuki. I feel like I was left out before I became friends with him because I was never asked to join this club. And yes, of course I thought he was pretty, he's Yuki frickin' Sohma… oh, but he as such wonderful qualities! And… then…

Then…

Then it was so weird mom, the bell rang and it was noon and for some reason I couldn't help but panic. I kept thinking I forgot to make Shigure a sandwich. Did he even ask me? I'm not even sure he asked me, but I felt like I needed to. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to leave.

I ran back to my classroom. "Uo! Hana!" I called. Hana appeared in a puff of black smoke and Uo drove her motorcycle through the schools window. "Yes?"

"How can I leave school early?" I asked, panicking. I seriously needed more caffeine. "You could get expelled by killing someone… with your mind…" Hana said, her eyes landing on Kyo. He buried his head in his issue of Cat Fancy. I smiled and hugged Hana "I'm not as talented as you." I said. Kyo's jaw dropped for some reason, it must have been a fascinating issue! I made a new discovery! Kyo is very interested in flea collars!

"Well then, kiddo, you could always shank someone with a crudely made weapon." Uo grinned at Yuki. He coughed and stared at his feet. "Only someone as talented as you could do that." I said with a sigh. Yuki's eyes widened. Poor Yuki is so shy.

"You could ditch!" Momiji sang. I clasped my hands in front of my chest. The thought of ditching…

"Or fake sick!" "You shouldn't-"

"-Underestimate it." Everyone in the room said together. Alas… mind readers.

"I'll show you how you get out of school early." Haru said. He lifted his hand slowly and dramatically and I watched in awe… waiting… for a marvelous new discover.

Haru's hand dropped down, pulling down the fire alarm. Mayu-sensei looked up from her desk "Thank god. Everyone out of my class room now!" she shouted. Haru is truly a wonder. If only all the Sohmas realized how wonderful they really are.

I stood there in reflective thought as everyone rushed out of the room around me and the sprinkler system went off. It is my job (as well as ending the curse, breaking Kyo's shell, and household chores) to make them all aware of-

"Get the hell out Tohru!"

"Ah!"

As I hurried back to the house with Yuki, Kyo, Momiji, and Haru, I stopped quickly into 711 and downed a RedBull. Inside I saw Hatori and gave him my sixteen year old words of wisdom that seemed to do the trick as it was, of course, spoken in a metaphor suited specifically for him. "Melt the slurppee of your soul!" "Spring… I can move on…"

We walked a few more blocks and I ran into Kureno "Keep on truckin'" "Will do!" He smiled and skipped away. We turned the corner and saw Kisa, Hiro, and Rin. "Doing great, Bud!" "Things can only get better!" "I believe in you!" They all beamed. "How does she always say the right thing?"

We turned another corner and spotted Ritsu. I waved at him. "Sorry about your loss!" I said cheerily. He blinked. "Wh-what?"

"Ah…" I turned away and looked through the notebook I wrote quotes from Hallmark cards down in. Those GODDAMN kids who screw up the organization system! I swear to all things holy, if I ever find out who puts the wrong cards in the inspirational section!

I turned to Ritsu and smiled. "Ah… Ju-Just Because?" Damn… who the hell sends a 'just because' card anyway? "Just because what??" "Happy Birthday!" I cheered. "I'm Sorry!" he cried and ran away.

"Did he forget to invite you to his birthday party?" Momiji asked. "Ah! Th-thank must be it…" I answered, shifting uncomfortably as I shoved my notebook in my bag.

Finally we reached the house I and ran inside. Shigure stood in the kitchen, his face pouting "Hi Tohru…" "I'm sorry!" I said, and ripped open the refrigerator. I immediately began to make Shigure a sandwich as Kyo starred suspiciously. I made a new discovery. Kyo is suspicious of sandwiches!

"What are all these pictures of Tohru's mother doing here?" Yuki asked. He set a box on the counter next to Shigure as I put salami on the bread. "Ah! I… borrowed those… to give Tohru a present. You saw it this morning, right?" "Yes! Thank you!" I answered, putting more salami on it. Kyo and Yuki looked at each other suspiciously and went upstairs. They came back down a little later and dragged Shigure out of the room.

"But what about his sandwich?!" I called after them. "I NEED to give it to him!" I yelled. Haru took the sandwich off the plate and sat down at the table, taking a bite. "This is good, if I brainwash you, will you make me one everyday too?" "Huh?"

Akito burst into the room. Haru didn't react but I jumped about thousand feet. "I AM GOD OF THE ZODIAC! ALRIGHT?!" "Y-yes!" I said, shaking, because I was so startled. "Alright." Haru said, taking another bite. "You and your strawberry, cupcake, homemaker cuteness CANNOT break the curse!" Akito shouted. Haru nodded. "It probably takes more effort." He put it lazily but was ignored as Akito continued

"So take your Hallmark advice, and everything associated with it, OUT of our lives!" "Everything?" Haru asked. Akito turned to look at him "Yes, everything, Hatsuharu." She elaborated gently and turned back to me"That includes all brands that do business with Hallmark and all Holidays that print cards with it!" she proclaimed.

"The Sohmas no longer celebrate Valentine's Day, Halloween, Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or New Years, yes Haru I am aware of the irony associated with the last holiday I mentioned. Whatever. Sohmas no longer watch SpongeBob, attend funerals, apologize to one another, express or feel love, thank people, celebrate birthdays and especially shop at CVS! And it's all thanks to you! Tohru Honda! Come on Haru!"Akito finished. Haru slammed down his sandwich and stood up, shooting me a glare. "Thanks a lot, Tohru, SpongeBob is my favorite show." And they both marched out.

Tohru sighed and looked at the picture frame "And that's how my day went." The picture flashed again to different photo of Kyoko and there was a knock on the door. Yuki and Kyo came in.

"Ah! Hello." Tohru began, sitting up. Yuki set a box of photographs of her mother her had been carrying down on the ground in front of her and Kyo unplugged the picture frame.

"We have to take this. Sorry, Honda-san. Don't let Shigure put things in your room anymore." Yuki said.

"Is it because it's associated with Hallmark?" Tohru asked.

The Cat and The Rat exchanged confused looks and shrugged slightly.

"Sure." Kyo said.

They left and Tohru pulled a picture from the box. "Oh mom, I've made so many new discoveries today…" She looked out the window optimistically "I wonder what new discoveries tomorrow will bring!"

*Cue Furuba ending theme music*


There you have it!

Please Review!!!!

Sachi-Chan!

(p.s. keep a look out! I'm posting a new story about Shii-chan and Aki very shortly! I hope you will all read it!!) It's not a one shot, but it's not going to be VERY long. It's a drama. It'll be up soon! Bye!