A/N: I didn't exactly match up the dates/days to a 2005 calendar-my oversight. Can you all deal with that?

Charlie is still trying to learn and sort through new information. Some he'll rationalize and some he'll question. He gets a little emotional in this chapter; give him the freedom to do so. He's dealing with stuff, he's allowed some emo time.

Did you notice in the last chapter when Charlie was thinking about Esme he got a little sidetracked? I just figured even he wasn't immune to her vampy "everything about us invites you in" appeal.

More Roxette "Fading Like a Flower" This particular song has some double meanings to it!

Thanks to **Lori** Cuz her QA is here to save the day!

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and I appreciate her allowing the fans to toy with the ideas her books have inspired. I've read some wonderful stories by the fans!!! Songs belong to Roxette. No copyright infringement intended.


Charlie's POV

November 3rd

Last night, I thought about what Mark said. I had waited until after 7 pm and called Renee. I knew it was later there, but I figured she could spare me a few minutes to discuss the deteriorating mental health of her only teenage daughter. I apologized for the late call and explained the possibility of me having to get Bella out of Forks and settled into Jacksonville.

"Is it that bad, Charlie?" Renee asked.

"Renee, do you think I would be calling you to make these arrangements if it wasn't?"

"Well you can't push her. She probably just needs some TLC. First love followed by first heartache is tough on every girl." Renee's words were full of typicality.

"Yeah, Renee, I know, but you should see her right now."

"Now, now Charlie. Bella is used to taking care of things, but heartbreak isn't something any of us know how to take care of or fix. It just takes time. Bella has her own amazing spirit, she'll bounce back from this."

"Are you listening to me? Her spirit is broken, Renee. She's still not eating much. She just sits in her room in this state of nothingness. She's lethargic and…"

Renee offered her version. "You mean like catatonic? Almost lifeless?"

"Yes, that is it exactly." Finally, she was understanding this.

"Oh no!" she cried out, and then her voice became agonized. "Oh my poor baby, not again," she whispered. "Charlie, we've got to try to get her out of this before it gets worse. Either get her to open up to you or you can bring her here, but we've got to get past all this and fast." Renee was suddenly direct and adamant but I could hear her stifling a sob.

"Renee, I'm doing the best I can here. We're taking it day by day."

"Look Charlie, Phil and I will have the room ready by next week. I'll cover the airfare this time. I'll call Bella tomorrow and let her know that..."

"No you won't! You let me break the news to her. I'll decide when and if she needs to leave. Why do I feel like there is something you aren't telling me?" I snapped back.

Renee took a second to clear her throat and whisper something to Phil. Presumably it was him.

"Oh Charlie, take it down a notch. Of course, you can decide. I'll call her tomorrow to check in with her and to let her know she is welcome here at any time. And if she doesn't come here right away, then we can talk about me flying out there at some point soon."

"Fine, Renee. I'll let you know how things go. If you do fly out, without Phil, you are welcome to stay here."

"Thanks Charlie. Kiss our baby for me."

Just as we had said our goodbyes, I had heard the screams and made my way into Bella's room.

Needless to say, last night had been another long night.

I was going in late this morning to make sure Bella was going to get to school. In a daze, she staggered through the house, and after having gotten herself dressed and ready to head out, I stopped her just outside the door of her truck.

"Bells, this just isn't right. You won't talk to me. You won't see your friends. I'm thinking it might be best if I sent you to Jacksonville for a little while."

"What? NO! I won't go!" she insisted.

"But Bells…" She cut me off with more conviction to her words than I had heard her speak in over a month.

"I'm going to talk to you, Dad. Really, I am." She nodded her head up and down, looking like she was telling herself more than me. "It's just; I'm going to tell you when I'm ready."

"And when might that be? It's been over a month now, Bells."

"Soon. I promise. You are right, all we have here is each other, so I'll talk to you. I really…I mean, I will. And, I see my friends at school and that's plenty, but maybe I'll call Jessica to go see a movie or invite Angela over soon, but I'm NOT leaving Forks."

She put her head down and made swirls in the stones of the driveway with her foot absentmindedly zoning out on me. I bent my head down to look into her eyes and placed one hand on either of her shoulders.

"Bells, if he comes back and you're in Florida, I'll tell him where you are," I promised.

"NO! I told mom last spring I want to live in Forks and I meant it. Nothing's changed." Her conviction was starting to morph into a breakdown. She trembled and shook under my fingertips.

I pulled her into me to quell her and held her as she began to sob into my uniform. She whispered into my chest, "Do you think he's coming back?"

"I don't know Bells. I'm in the dark about why he left to begin with, but I do know that right now you need to get to school and I need to get to work. Do you think we can talk this over later tonight?"

She pulled back, nodding and wiping the tears from her eyes. "Sorry about your shirt."

"No problem. It'll dry. Until then I'll just refer to it as Dad's other badge." I chuckled lowly to myself.

"I'll see you when I get home tonight, and hey no going into the woods. There's been another bear sighting. Okay?"

She nodded in agreement. After that day, I never expected Bella to go into the woods again, but then again, I couldn't be positive she wouldn't go and do something reckless in her current mindset.

******

I got through the workday and headed over to pick up some dinner from the diner on the way home. These days it was hit or miss whether or not Bella was cooking dinner, let alone eating.

She was upstairs in her room when I got home, and when I asked about dinner, she shook her head. I told her I would bring her up some tea in hopes that she was going to let me in, finally. I wasn't going to push her, but damn it, I needed something to keep me from thinking she needed more help than I could give her at this point.

Song #2 was playing in the room. Same band. Same concept. Different song.

Did this band sing a nondepressing, nonbreakup song…whoever they were?

In a time, when the sun descends alone

I ran long, long way from home

to find a heart that's made of stone.

I will try. I just need a little time to get your face right out of my mind

to see the world through different eyes.

Tell me why when I scream there's no reply

When I reach out there's nothing to find.

When I sleep I break down and cry.

I finished my dinner and headed upstairs with a cup of tea in hand. In all these days when I felt like I had no words to offer to comfort Bella, I brought her hot tea. It was actually an idea I got from Renee when we spoke a few weeks ago, as she described to me how Bella always made her hot tea after her breakups over the years. I shivered and tried to shake that thought off. I didn't want to think about my daughter having to comfort her mother in that way.

I entered the room and turned the volume down, not willing to sit through the music if she was going to be willing to really talk to me. I carefully carried the tea over to her just hitting that creak in the floor again, exactly. I set the tea on her bedside table and sat down on her bed where she was lying under the covers for a change.

"Alright Bells. I'm hoping we can finish our talk. I need you to talk to me so I can help you get through this, but I need to understand it all first. Can you tell me now? Can you tell me why you two broke up? What kind of a fight did you have to give you these recurring nightmares? Was it…I mean, did something else happen to you in the forest that day?"

I stroked her forehead twice to try to soothe her, the way Renee always used to do when Bella got sick as a child. I waited patiently as her eyes stared down at her hands. She sat up and squirmed linking her fingers together, then apart, then back together.

I waited. I waited some more. When I knew the tea was no longer hot, I stood up squeezed my face into my hands and then extended my arms in a deep stretch toward the ceiling. I could feel my temper flaring and crossed her room to the opposite wall, banging my fist against it —losing grasp on my normally cool and collected Charlie the Chief of Police persona, I suppose. I was still staring at the wall, not being able to bare this any longer. I kept my face hidden toward the wall and felt my cheeks burn. I couldn't face her to say this.

"Alright Isabella. That's it! I'm done with this! I tried! I gave you every chance in the world. Come Thanksgiving break you are heading to Florida indefinitely and I'm going to wait until then because I want you to finish any midterms for," and then she spoke quietly, cutting off my enraged rant.

"I let him go," she said, so softly I wasn't sure I heard her right.

She let him go? Not at all what this small town boy expected to hear, that's for sure. I turned around to listen in hopes she was going to tell me more.

"You mean you broke up with him?" I asked.

She continued. "He told me he was leaving and I froze. I just let him walk away."

With that the tears began—to my surprise, both hers and mine. The fire in my cheeks was being cooled by the streaming salty mixture now running down them. I stood there feeling heartache for her. My frustration and anger melted away as I made my way back over to her side. She sat up and leaned in to rest her head on my shoulder.

"How could I have let him go?" she whispered at my ear, barely with any emotion.

I suddenly had an overwhelming memory—the feelings of watching Renee leave me years ago. I felt the hurt and pain and the anger toward myself in feeling like a nonparticipant in my own life at that very moment.

"And the forest that day? Were you so upset and off balanced that you get lost?"

She shook her head yes.

"So this is it? This is why you have barricaded yourself in your room? All this time, you've just been up here punishing yourself, Bella?"

She shook her head yes again and, oddly, I understood.

"See Bells? Believe it or not, I can understand more than you think if you just let me in."

I hugged her to me. "Don't worry, we'll figure out a way to work through this now. Have you thought about writing him a letter? Uhhh, then again where would you send it? Look, I'm trying here."

She looked at me blankly. No I guess a letter wouldn't be enough anyway—it wouldn't have been enough for me.

I was in my 20s when Renee left me, admittedly far less mature or emotionally capable than my 18-year-old daughter, her current mental status excluded. As I sat there holding my sobbing only child, I was forced to relive my own regret. I realized that this seemingly self-sufficient, brave young woman was not just upset that they left, but that she stumbled through the moment of the goodbye and now regrets not having said what she felt or what she needed him to hear. I know that regret all too well.

I never took a second chance with Renee to tell her how I felt. I just let her walk out the door and start a new life without me, all the while telling myself that it was what she wanted and so it must be best for her, what she needed.

But it wasn't what I wanted or needed.

I've lived with the regret of not telling her what I wanted. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten it, but at least I would have known that I tried.

I don't know if this could in any way be hereditary, but I'd gladly say it was and take on the blame for why my daughter was putting herself through this if I could somehow spare her years of torment that I've known. I still don't know why they broke up and why the Cullens left, but that seemed to matter less now. Bella had revealed enough to me that I knew what I needed to do to help her get through this.


Wow, sounds like Charlie is a man with a plan!

Like Beyonce says, "If you liked it, then you should have put a review on it."