A/N: James stole the idea from Remus. Passed between him, Remus, Sirius, and Lily.
1977-1978-1977-1978-1977-1978
How to Annoy (or generally scare) Peter Pettigrew
By: James Potter
1. Plant rat traps around him bed.
2. Rat poison. (s-e)
3. Cats make great pets.
4. Convince him Remus doesn't exist.
5. "Hippogriff want a rat?" (s-e)
6. Threaten to feed him to the giant squid.
7. Threaten to lock him in the Slytherin common room.
8. Ignore him for a week, then ask him where he's been.
9. Steal his copy of Quidditch Through the Ages.
10. Convince him that there's going to be a pop quiz in DADA today.
11. Buy him a play wheel for Christmas.
12. Refer to him as a rodent.
13. Do it frequently. (#12)
14. Insist he confess his undying love to Narcissa Black.
15. If he gets annoying, threaten to feed him to Padfoot.
16. Tell him there is no Santa Clause.
17. Or Easter Bunny.
18. Say he's too Hufflepuff to be Gryffindor.
19. Use 'Levicorpus' on him.
20. Push him into the lake.
21. Threaten to feed him to Moony.
22. Insist that he's a descendent of Slytherin.
23. Send Snape love letters from him.
24. Send him reply letters.
25. Convince him he's gay.
26. Don't tell him the password when it's changed.
27. Don't give him the map when he wants to go to the kitchens.
28. Charm his clothes into spandex.
29. Make the spandex neon pink.
30. When he's hurt, take him to a vet.
31. Hide his homework for Potions.
32. Duct tape him to a wall.
33. Make sure the wall is in the dungeons.
34. Steal the marmalade at breakfast.
35. The ketchup at lunch.
36. And the salt at dinner.
37. Dye his hair black.
38. Shave his head in his sleep.
39. The day after full moon, tell him you know what he did last night.
40. Send him love letters from Bellatrix.
41. And Narcissa.
42. Throw Lucius Malfoy in there, too.
43. Super-glue. (s-e)
44. Steal Evan's silly string. (s-e)
45. Dress him up like Snape.
46. Refer to him as 'Wormy'.
47. Refuse to help him in CoMC.
48. Forbidden Forest. (s-e)
49. Leave him in the Shack alone.
50. Water balloons. (s-e)
