Chapter 4:

For Christmas dinner, the gang went over to Octavia's dorm room and she ordered Chinese food from a place that was open 365 days a year. Clarke and Lexa haven't spoken since the fight they had. Lexa couldn't even look at Clarke without feeling like she was going to cry. Lexa sat next to the lit Christmas tree alone while everyone else was sitting on the beds.

"What is wrong with her?" Bellamy asked Clarke.

"I don't know." Clarke said taking another bite of her fried rice.

"Clarke. Come on. I know when something is up. You're pissed at her for something."

"No I'm not. She is just upset."

"Because you are pissed at her." Bellamy said.

"Okay! Fine! So maybe I am pissed at her, why does it matter?"

"Because you two are like peas in a pod. You are closer with her than you ever were with Octavia your entire life. It matters." Bellamy took a fork full of Clarke's rice and then got up and sat in the desk chair next to Octavia's bed, where everyone else was sitting. Clarke looked over at Lexa who was eating her food as a tear snuck out from her eye. Clarke felt bad for her, but she didn't want to feel bad for her. 'I need to forget about everything for a while.' Clarke thought.

"Let's open the beers." Clarke said getting up and grabbing one from the mini fridge. She downed half of one in one gulp.

"Whoa, easy there tiger." Bellamy said and Clarke held up her middle finger at him. Two hours and a couple of beers later, everyone sat on the floor and decided to play truth or dare. By this time, Clarke had forgotten she was mad at Lexa and Lexa had forgotten she was sad.

"Truth or dare?" Octavia asked Bellamy.

"Truth" He said.

"If you could fuck someone you knew you never could, who would it be?" Bellamy thought about the question.

"Sophia Vergara." Bellamy said as he took another sip of his beer.

"Mmmhmm. Good choice." Lincoln said. Bellamy raised his beer at him.

"Alright Clarke, truth or dare."

"Let's do…. Truth." She said.

"Why are you pissed at Lexa?" Bellamy asked. Apparently he hasn't had enough beers to forget about that. Clarke looked at Lexa and then back at Bellamy.

"Pass." Clarke simply said.

"What? You can't use a pass." Bellamy said.

"Yea I can. Before we started the game Raven said we could have a pass, so I used it." Clarke said and Bellamy rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Then it's your turn."

"Okay. Octavia, truth or dare?" Clarke asked.

"Truth." She said.

"Ugh. Come on. Everybody is picking truth." Lincoln said and Octavia shrugged.

"It's fine. So, have you and Lincoln made a sex tape?" Clarke asked and Octavia's face got all red. "Oh my god. You have. You dirty little whore." Clarke laughed.

"It was only once. We wanted to spice things up a bit." Octavia defended herself as Bellamy gave her a displeasing look. "Okay okay, change the topic. Lexa truth or dare?" Octavia asked.

"I'll be the brave one and do dare." Lexa answered and Octavia pondered for a moment.

"I dare you to kiss Clarke." Octavia said and Clarke's heart sank and her eyes widened. "For ten seconds, opened mouthed." Octavia added.

"Octavia! What the fuck?" Clarke asked, "Lexa, use the pass."

"No. I might need it for something else." Lexa said.

"Lexa don't you dare. I swear to god."

"What's the big deal Clarke? You two are already really close." Bellamy asked trying to be manipulative.

"No. Bellamy. Stay the fuck out of this." Clarke yelled at him.

"Jesus Clarke. I didn't think this would cause such a big problem." Octavia said. Clarke was about to say something back before Lexa grabbed her face and pushed Clarke's lips against her own. This is the second kiss that they have shared. Clarke's eyes were wide open at first and she wanted to pull away, but her body didn't want her too. Her body craved the touch of Lexa's lips. So, Clarke closed her eyes and kissed back. This is exactly what Clarke is afraid of. That they would kiss and then Clarke would want to come back to Lexa for more, well, mission accomplished. Bellamy cleared his throat and Clarke snapped away from the kiss looking at Lexa with seductive, yet sorrowful eyes.

"That was way longer than 10 seconds just to let you know." Bellamy said.

"Well what can I say? Lexa is an amazing kisser, you would stay longer if you could too." Clarke said playfully because she was not in the mood to be romantic or serious. Bellamy shrugged. The gang played for about another hour before Lexa and Clarke walked back to their dorm.

"Am I really a good kisser?" Lexa asked.

"I want to say no, but you are." Clarke answered as she tried to find her key. Lexa smiled slightly and Clarke finally managed to get the door open.

"I really am sorry." Lexa said.

"Why did you feel like you had to do that?" Clarke asked and Lexa couldn't give her a reasonable answer.

"Clarke, I wanted to wait to give you this and wait for it to be the right moment. But it turns out there will probably never be a right moment, so I will just give it to you now." Lexa said reaching under her bed and grabbing a tiny box. Clarke walked up to her and stood next to her.

"What is this?" Clarke said really confused. Lexa held out a silver heart necklace. It looked exactly like the one from Tiffany & Co. without the engravings. "Lexa… I…"

"Just shut up and take the necklace." Lexa said and Clarke still didn't take it. "Take it."

"When did you buy this for me?" Clarke asked with sorrowful and confused eyes.

"A few nights before Christmas Eve. I was planning on giving it to you today like around this time. But it should have been more special. You shouldn't be mad at me and we shouldn't be completely wasted. I was going to hint that I was into you when I gave you this. But, whatever. Just take the damn necklace." Lexa said shoving the necklace towards Clarke.

"Can you put it on me?" Clarke asked and turned around. Lexa moved Clarke's hair out of the way and put the necklace over Clarke's head. Clarke shivered when the cold metal of the heart touched her exposed neck. Lexa hooked the clasp and moved Clarke's hair over it and Clarke turned back around to face her.

"It looks good on you. I'm glad I picked that one." Lexa said blankly.

"When did you know that you love me?" Clarke asked completely changing the topic.

"I fell in love with you in an instant. But the exact moment was before fall break. It was when you were dancing in our room in your sports bra and then you tripped and started to laugh. I was sitting on my bed trying to study for my upcoming test and I couldn't focus. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Every little thing you did in that moment was perfect. Your laugh, your smile, even the color sports bra you were wearing. It was all so perfect. And that is the moment that I fell in love with you." Lexa said tearing up a little remembering the perfect memory. Clarke bit her lip to keep her own tears from falling. And before Clarke knew it, she had pressed her lips up to Lexa's. Clarke kissed her with passion and aggression as she let all of her anger from before flow into the kiss.

"Clarke, what are you doing?" Lexa asked in between kisses.

"Letting you show me that you love me." Clarke said as she pulled away from the kiss and looked into Lexa's eyes.

"But, I, I thought that you never wanted me to touch you again."

"I want you to touch me. This time using your hands and your mouth. Lexa, I want you to make me cum." Clarke whispered into Lexa's ear as she placed a light kiss on her earlobe. Lexa moaned a little and tilted her head back as Clarke kissed her neck. "I want to touch you and show you that I love you." Clarke added as she pushed Lexa onto Lexa's bed. Clarke climbed on top of her and starting kissing her, slowly sliding her tongue in her mouth. Lexa, being afraid to touch Clarke, held her hands at her side until Clarke grabbed her right hand and used it to cup Clarke's bra under her shirt. Clarke stopped kissing for a moment and lifted her body up. She looked down at Lexa as she removed her top and bra, allowing her breasts to be free. Clarke waited for Lexa to grab her breasts but it never happened.

"Lexa, what's wrong?" Clarke asked.

"I can't do this." Lexa said being completely honest.

"Don't be afraid. I want you to touch me. I really do." Clarke said grabbing her own breasts before unbuttoning her pants and climbing off Lexa to remove them.

"Clarke I honestly am not ready."

"How? You basically raped me today." Clarke said, anger in her voice. Lexa sat up and tried not to look at Clarke's almost naked body before her. "And you have seen me like this before." Clarke added, noticing what Lexa was doing.

"But it's different now. I hate myself for what I did to you earlier. It is not like me and I have no idea what came over me. I don't want to have sex with you. Not tonight, not after what I did earlier. It doesn't feel right. And you're still mad at me. This shouldn't be our first time." Lexa said looking down at her bed, "Well, second?" She added in a whisper.

"Un-fucking-believable. You give me the worst mixed signals in the world. I don't want you and you force me, I do want you and you don't want to have sex with me. And your right, it doesn't feel right because I am still so pissed at you. Now that I am becoming sober, everything is clearer. So thank you, for stopping because it would have been a huge messy mistake." Clarke said as she started to cry. She scurried over to her dresser to put on her PJ's and rolled on to her bed, facing the wall instead of Lexa.

"Merry Christmas." Clarke said before turning off the light and leaving Lexa shocked and confused.

*Hey guys! Thank you for being so patient! I have been in school and it has been absolutely hectic! But, I'm not trying to make excuses. Anyways, what do you think about this chapter? Please write a review on it! and don't be afraid to give me ideas for new stories or message me! I love meeting new people! :)*