Here's Your Letter
Chapter Four
Later that night Jasper lay in bed, unable to sleep. He hated the first night in a new place; he was never able to sleep. He always found himself worrying what tomorrow had in store. From his experience, Jasper had learned that the second day was always worse than the first. On the first day everyone was trying to make good impressions. By the second day they were pretty much through with good impressions and their true colours slowly started to show.
Sighing Jasper sat up, pulling his knees up to his chin. He was cold and he wished that Freddy were with him. He hated the thought of her being upstairs, surrounded by Evelyn and her sons. Freddy had told him not to worry about it she would lock her door. Jasper still wasn't sure about it though; maybe one of the boys had a key, what then? It's not like Freddy would scream or call for help!
Shivering slightly Jasper pulled the blanket over his head, so it was covering him as if he were inside a tent. When they were younger, before their parents had died, Freddy and Jasper had done that all the time, usually during thunderstorms. They did it only occasionally after they were put into foster care, when things got too bad to handle.
With another sigh Jasper tossed the blanket off of him and onto the floor. Frustration welled up inside of him at the thought of him being all alone down in the basement. He felt like some kind of monster that Evelyn wanted to keep hidden. It was as though she was trying to make Freddy apart of her screwed up family and trying to push Jasper away.
Jasper refused to let her do that though, he'd stay with Freddy all the time. That way, none of Evelyn's sons could get to her and try to convince her to join their "family." It looked like they'd already started though; Freddy had never told him to leave her alone before. And what was with her going for a walk with that Jack kid? She looked pretty happy when she came back.
Jasper didn't want to admit it but he was jealous over the fact that Freddy had gone for a walk with Jack. She'd never done that before, ditch Jasper to go with someone else, especially not another fucked up kid. Freddy had always stayed away from them, preferring not to get involved in anyone else's problems. So why now, and why Jack? Jasper asked himself angrily. He could feel the anger welling up inside of him, threatening to burst.
Getting out of bed Jasper walked over to his bag, lying near the bedroom door. Kneeling down in front of it, Jasper desperately searched through its many pockets. Finally he found what he was looking for. Trying to be quiet, even though he knew that no one could hear him, Jasper slowly twisted the cap off of the bottle and dumped two pills out onto his hand. He put them in his mouth and swallowed, having long ago perfected the art of swallowing pills without water.
Feeling satisfied, Jasper crawled back into bed after making sure that the pills were hidden in his bag. A kid at the group home had given Jasper the bottle when Jasper couldn't sleep. Now, whenever Jasper had trouble sleeping, he just took a few pills and within the hour he was sound asleep.
Jasper didn't consider it to be an addiction, he didn't take them everyday, he didn't even crave them. He just used them when he needed some help falling asleep. Freddy didn't approve of them, but then again, she did things that Jasper didn't approve of either.
Smiling that fake smile of his, Jasper closed his eyes and felt himself slip off into a comfortable, numb sleep.
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Freddy found it more difficult to sleep. She didn't have any pills to take, and even if she did, she wouldn't take them. She'd seen what the pills did to kids at the group home. Jasper had assured her that he wouldn't become like that, addicted to them, but Freddy had her doubts. None of the kids started off being addicted to them, it just happened.
Freddy sighed and wrapped the blanket around herself, trying to block out the darkness. She wasn't afraid of the darkness, more so, she was afraid of what could be out there in it. After all, he'd come out of the dark and killed them. What if he was still out there, waiting for his chance to finish the job? Freddy shivered and pulled the blanket over her head, wishing that it was a tent. She'd always felt safer with a blanket completely surrounding her.
The sound of footsteps outside her door caught Freddy's attention. She froze, listening, trying to catch the sound. The footsteps stopped and Freddy was sure that she heard heavy breathing right outside her door. Paralyzed with fear, Freddy held her breath, hoping that whoever it was wouldn't hear her.
Then, just as quickly as she heard it, the noise disappeared, and along with it went Freddy's fear. Feeling suffocated all of a sudden, she threw the blanket to the end of her bed and got up. She walked over to the window and opened it, relishing the cold air that greeted her. The air was cold but she didn't mind, it reminded her of home. Or at least the home she'd had a long time ago, in Winnipeg. It had always been cold there, at least that she could remember. Jasper had told her that it wasn't cold during the summer, but in every memory she had it was cold. White too, all of the fields, the roads and usually the cars too. Covered in snow she guessed. Snow, that made her want to make a snowman, she hadn't made one in years. Maybe this winter she would.
Sighing, Freddy turned her thoughts to this new family she was with. Tobias had said that it was her family now too, but she didn't believe him. Jasper was her family; he'd been through a lot with her, not everything, but a lot. These people hadn't been through anything with her, so they could hardly be her family. They'd only known her for one day, not even.
Evelyn seemed all right, Freddy just wasn't sure why she took them in. After all, she already had three sons, so why would she want to take in two more fuck-ups? And why them? Tobias had mentioned that Evelyn chose them, but why? What was so special about them? Maybe she liked Jasper's name, a lot of people liked his name. Freddy didn't like it that much, it was too old-fashioned for her. Maybe something like Matt, or Jazz, that would work.
Shaking her head, Freddy tried to concentrate. Jerry seemed all right, but she hadn't really seen enough of him to really see how she felt about him. Then there was Angel. Personally, Freddy thought he was funny, but seeing as Jasper seemed to hate him so much, she figured she'd keep her opinion to herself. She didn't mind that he laughed at her name; Freddy was a weird name for a girl. At least it was better than Camela. Camela made her think of camels, and camels were just too weird.
And then there was Jack. He seemed nice enough, maybe a little bit weird, but nice. She didn't really think about him all that much. It'd been convenient that he'd gone for a walk earlier, she loved going for walks, but Jasper hated them. Freddy knew that Jasper was mad at her for going with Jack, but she just wanted to get out for a while. Away from Jasper too, he was suffocating her, but there was no way to tell her that.
She hated how embarrassed he got as soon as she started to act "weird." Her whistling never bothered him unless they were in front of people, minus Tobias. She'd just been trying to make a joke earlier; she could tell that Jack, Jerry and Angel thought she was crazy, so she'd whistled Basket Case. Any other time Jasper would've laughed, but of course not today, not in front of people. Instead, he'd pushed her away and been embarrassed by her.
Freddy was pretty sure that she was angry now. She didn't like being angry, people did things they regretted when they were angry. Or at least, things they pretended to regret. She couldn't read minds, but she was pretty sure that if they regretted doing something, then they wouldn't do it again. But they did, they always did. Their apologies were useless too; it didn't make the pain go away. They seemed to expect the apologies to make things better though, Freddy didn't get it. Whenever she said sorry, everything wasn't just better. She was either lying, or just trying to get out of trouble, or whatever else the people could come up with.
Sighing, Freddy got back into bed. She felt tired now. Or at least she thought she was tired. She really wished Jasper was here, he would know.
Whistling a song to herself Freddy slowly began to slip away into a deep sleep.
Author's Note: Okay I lied, I didn't do a quick update, I was trying to rewrite this chapter, but then I gave up so now half of it is rewritten and half of it isn't. And I don't know how accurate I'm describing Freddy's "condition" I don't know all that much about it to be honest, it's hard to find information that I can understand.
